Hope Solo on Dancing with the Stars and Nearly Naked in a Fountain

Brittani’s Team Pick:

Have you been following women’s soccer since the World Cup? Maybe? Have you at least been following Hope Solo’s Twitter account? If not, you may have missed this picture of Hope Solo cavorting around in a robe with an unidentified lady person, possibly as part of a clothesless spread in ESPN’s 2011 “Body Issue.” Here it is for your viewing pleasure.

We’re going to pretend this is relevant because it’s just been announced that Solo will be a member on the next season of Dancing with the Stars (along with Chaz Bono). Good ol’ Hope is doing everything she can to promote women’s soccer because the best way to promote women’s sports isn’t by being the best keeper in the world. It’s by being really really hot. Duh.

I’m hoping for a finale between Solo and Ron Artest in which someone incorporates “the Great White Hope” into a headline. Will you be watching my favorite show on television this fall to catch a glimpse of Han Solo? (jk I’ve never seen a single episode.)

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Brittani Nichols is a Los Angeles based comedy person. When she's not tweeting about white people or watching television, she's probably eating pizza. Actually, she's probably doing all three of those things concurrently and when she's not doing THAT, she's sleeping. Brittani also went to Yale and feels weird about mentioning it but wants you to know.

Brittani has written 328 articles for us.


  1. I don’t know who Hope Solo is… which I suppose makes me a terrible lesbian… but I love Dancing With The Stars so I will be watching. I do know that the DWTS facebook page has been filled with many ugly, ignorant, and hateful statements about Chaz and transgender people in general. I’ve been trying to do some damage control to help but there’s a lot of ugly people saying that they will not be watching because of him. Like a lot a lot. Like a majority of people. This is the first season I plan on calling in to vote… lol… Chaz every week! Since ABC wasn’t afraid to put someone visibly queer in primetime(although they lose bonus points for calling him “Sonny and Cher’s child,” not son), I think that if they did NOT lose viewers over this and if Chaz was NOT off in the first week… well, that would be a good thing.

    • wow i just visited the facebook page…WOW.

      fucking unbelievable. heaven forbid they have to spend 2 minutes of their tv viewing Chaz. I could say so many things right now but this is just ridiculous.

  2. Technically they can’t call Chaz a son… chromozones don’t lie… nothing against chaz but why put a overly fat person on the show…. to watch them fall down ?

    I am more concerned about kids seeing this and loading up on the sugars and getting really fat than the gender issues

    • um, no. Chaz is their son.

      Besides, if you want to bring science into it, there are other parts of chromosomes that contribute to who we are as a person. It’s very complex.

      I’m not even going to get into the problems with your statement about weight.

    • Chaz is male, no matter what chromosomes make up his person, so what do you suppose we call him? Male offspring = son, right?

  3. Never seen DWTS before, but now I have a reason to watch.

    Also, Solo has a huge ego (naturally, it fuels her on-field performances), so it might be extra entertaining.

  4. I think Hope Solo is the only thing that could make me watch Dancing With The Stars. I love her. I’m a goalkeeper too, so I love that she’s helping to make women’s soccer noticed. :)

  5. I’ve never really watched DWTS. But I caught little segments here and there when my old college roommate would turn it on.

    It’s a terrible show. I would have been more interested in Megan Rapinoe or Abby Wambach doing DWTS but I still might be tempted to watch – at least until Hope gets voted off.

    • Megan Rapinoe or Abby Wambach would have been AMAZING! But they are probably too gay for this show…and they are probably more focused on actually playing soccer.

      • You mean too butch, right? Cause none of them is gayer than Carson Kressley…
        The whole “male gaze” thing… *sigh* Can’t have masculine women on TV, it upsets the men folk!

  6. My girlfriend watches this show. I guess this is the 1st season I’ll watch with her… I also love Carson Kressley

  7. I will be watching only because of Hope! Arm Porn Forever!

    Can we start a drinking game anytime she refers to the “American Fighting Spirit?” I feel like we’d get drunk pretty quickly!

  8. I’ll DVR and watch only the Hope Solo parts – she’s hot! As for Chaz – meh. This is not a “meh” against transitioning, but Chaz as a person. I watched the documentary (was it on Oprah’s network? I can’t remember) and he came across as a real a**, especially toward his girlfriend who was totally supportive during the process. She seems like a very nice person and he was just a real butthead toward her a lot of the time.

  9. i would rather watch uswnt survivor. (princess gets voted off on first day) hope someone out there has been sucked into tumblr as hard as i have to get this (:

    • Princess! hahaha. I’m glad someone else here knows about that. ARod might not last long either, although if Pia is on the island with them, these two might make it much further.

      • omg………arod arod arod…….i want to say mean things, but she did score that last goal (thank tobin christ). obviously ashlyn’s swag was too much for a lone arod she needed her crew behind her.
        but some one need to make a gif that says
        “perfect chance to score a goal for the championship,
        turn around and wait to pass, with no teammates in sight.”

      • hahaha as you can see i was pulling for phillie but yeah if pia where on then i can see them making it past the first week. mittsy would get voted off 1st week, pia turns around “who is heather mitts? i’m not sure but i voted for her anyway.” lol

        • I just want to plus this forever and ever, all of these! Fact: Tumblr + USWNT is nothing short of perfection. :D

    • tumblr + USWNT + this summer = EVERYTHING IS AMAZING AND NOTHING HURTS. (except maybe the WWC final, shhhh)

      • yeah my Dash has been taken over by the USWNT since the World Cup and I’m pretty much ok with it!

  10. My girl and I became wild Hope Solo fans during the Women’s World Cup this year! (chocking down bad “hope” puns now … cough)

  11. I was really disappointed and bummed she’d be posing naked, but then I learned it was an issue of ESPN magazine devoted to the beauty in the physique of the human body, which will feature a lot of men too and isn’t meant to be salacious. (Or so I assume.) That makes me OK with it. But I’ll reserve final judgment until I see it.

    I don’t think I could care about Dancing With The Stars less. Sorry.

  12. Another thing:

    We must all vote for Chaz and Hope as many times as possible. I really want to see Chaz go very far in this–shut all of these right-wing conservative Republican mothers up and make their heads explode!

  13. Is Hope a lesbian? It does not say in any article I have read. Going by photographs that were hacked of her, she does have an affinity for anal it would seem but that is apropos of nothing. I hope she plays well in the Olympic games and brings home a gold medal.

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