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Calling all Homoganjas! Let’s talk about anything and everything marijuana related, from legalization to pop culture to how to make your own bong using a box of Diva cups and a broken lamp. Whether you’re a newbie who doesn’t know a blunt from a joint, or you’re planning your gay dream wedding to Mary Jane, this column is for you. Puff, Puff, Pass.
Header by Rory Midhani
Homoganjas, I’ve been wanting to dive into the world of DIY pipes and bongs for a while now. But it’s intimidating! There seems be an endless list of things that people can convert into smoking devices. Apples, soda bottles, Pringles cans, Grandma. I honestly didn’t know where to start.
Another obstacle is the fact that I’m not the craftiest girl to begin with. I mean, who wants to learn how to make pipes from a girl who regularly embroiders her own clothes into her designs? I have problems, y’all. So I figured, why not make this a series within a series? So welcome to the first installment of:
There’s A Pipe For That!
Every month/when I remember, I’ll be creating some smoke devices based on different themes. You can even take these themes and apply them to themed smoke hangouts and parties! This is just another step in my master plan to create IRL queer smoke circles all across the world. So grab your toolkit/your kit and caboodle/a box of canoodles and let’s make some shit!
Our first theme is: “Crimson Cloud: Smoking While Menstruating!”
Today we’re gonna make two different kinds of pipes for that time of the month! Marijuana is a great way to alleviate any symptoms, from abdominal cramps to uncontrollable rage. Our first project is a genius combination of candy and weed:
The Starburst Pipe
So you’ve got a serious case of sweet tooth but you still wanna get high? Get ready to fall in love with the Starburst pipe! This device is fruity and hilarious, just like you.
1) All you’ll need a pack of Starburst and a type of skewer.
2) Unwrap the pieces and stack them together. Press down so they stick.
3) Take a wooden or metal skewer (or a similar sized tool) and create a lengthwise hole 2/3 of the way through the candy stack.
4) Make rounded hole on the side of the candy stack. This will be your bowl.
5) That’s it! Pack your bowl and you’re ready to go. You can also add a hole on the other side if you want a carb. And the best part: you can eat it when you are done! Although I would advise using a mesh screen or rinsing out the residue before eating, but you do you.
Sometimes, all you have in your pocket is a dime bag and a tampon. This pipe is for you. This will also be part of a larger series wherein I turn feminine hygiene products into smoking devices. Stay tuned for my Summer’s Eve Douche Gravity Bong, where I use a coconut Luna bar as a filter.
1) All you need for this pipe is an old school cardboard tampon, a tiny piece of tinfoil, and a needle. Simple enough, right? Well, I went to two different drug stores and could not find a tampon with a cardboard applicator! Everyone’s all about the Pearl now, I guess, which is great for vaginas but so much for this girl.
Luckily, I found a plastic applicator that looks like the cardboard one.
2) Press the plunger and remove the cotton tampon. If I were really crafty, I’d say glue some googly eyes on the tampon and make a ghost, but it’s November and ain’t nobody got time for that.
3) Remove the base of the applicator and you should be left with what looks like a cardboard flower.
4) Wrap the flower in tinfoil and poke a small hole in the foil. You just made your bowl!
5) Look that one-hitter up and smoke away! Enjoy the only time on Earth when it’s acceptable to say the following phrase:
“Hey girl, wanna share a tampon?”
You know what? Maybe don’t use that phrase. Ever.
So what about you, homoganjas? Got any favorite homemade pipes? Any themes you’d like to see celebrated in smoke art form? Share below!
Perhaps next month you could be a bit more environmentally conscious and teach us how to make a pipe out of a DivaCup®.
I can just see pulling the harpoon pipe out at a party, and all the guys looking uncomfortable, and being all “I’m not smoking out of THAT!”, which, imo, just makes it that much better.
In college we use to make gravity bongs, i.e. 2 liter bottle cut, with a hole and tinfoil in the cap to use in a bucket filled with water. It was an effective waste as you took in a lot of smoke, but then also exhaled at of good stuff(unless you were able to do it in a room where clam baking was possible).
I have so many questions about the starburst pipe. Does the sugar caramelize? Does it make the smoke taste sweeter? If you use just one flavor will it taste like cherry/strawberry/orange/lemon? Can you do this with tootsie rolls? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.
Also not gonna lie, I’d be terrified of melting the plastic on that tampon one-hitter. Maybe I’m boring, but DIY pipes don’t particularly appeal to me cos I can roll j’s better than a rolling machine. But I can’t wait to see what you make a pipe out of next week!
my mind has just been blown, seriously my bedroom walls are covered in brains i’m that fucking astounded, i’m off to do this right fucking now, see yas!
Ahh no! Smoking out of aluminum foil is a bad idea! Not good for your health at all.
This is well timed, as I am currently indulging in an afternoon in bed because of period symptoms. For the first time though I regret using applicator-free tampons!
I can’t believe there weren’t any cottonmouth puns!
i don’t smoke, but i am a little bit obsessed with the post.
and as always, the header is beautiful!
a+, chelsea & rory!
This is brilliant
Definitely trying this out
“Press the plunger and remove the cotton tampon. If I were really crafty, I’d say glue some googly eyes on the tampon and make a ghost, but it’s November and ain’t nobody got time for that.”
If I am making a pipe out of a tampon, chances are that I have time for that. Chances are that I pop out all of the tampons in the box and make a flock (herd/school/murder?) of ghosts that have reality show style beef with each other. Why does Cottanya think she’s better than everyone, anyway? As soon as she realized she was super, girl changed.
Chances are that I do none of that, sit here high as hell, enjoying my strange fantasy world, and inflicting it on the internet.
Can I come over and visit your brain?
Awesome, I’ll bring the tampons.
And that is a sentence I never really thought I’d say.
BRB Pitching Riese a series where I re-enact great moments in ANTM history using tampons and googly eyes!!!
I once made a pipe out of a Crystal Light container so… this is relevant to my interests.
Just remember plastic and aluminum is bad for your health.
The starburst one reminds me of my first date a year ago with my now-girlfriend. I was so nervous, but she came with a pipe made out of candy : D
The tampon pipe is amazingly ingenious. I think a lot of us have been in the situation where we didn’t have a smoking apparatus…but when there’s a female, there’s probably a tampon
I don’t think there’s a tampon with an applicator anywhere in my apartment goddamnit why do I care so much about the environment?
Apples everything! It was my first smoking device when I was sneaking hits when I still lived with my parents. Loved joints but the paper burning always left a stronger after smell than apples or a bong.
I don’t really trust the aluminum bowl or the plastic tampon, doesn’t seem really safe but then again we’ve all smoked out of a 4loko can on top of a roof once in our lives.
I dunno which is worse 4loko, or steal reserve can I tried it out of.
My mind is blown. Have I mentioned that this is my favorite new column on this site?? Also, now I want to start a weekly queer girl stoner circle and we can get high and make stone-y crafts
Was that “stone*-y*” or “Stone *Age*”? ’Cause, you know, the latter would be a gay ole time!
This made it onto Jezebel! When I started seeing the word queer I had to check the author and sure enough I saw your name up there. Congrats!
:O Star Burst Pipe! Ghost made from tampon? This is the best website in the entire world! Ok, I love the idea behind the starburst pipe and totally get the stoner-mentality in assuming that it would make your herbs taste like candy, but is this really an appropriate use of starburst resources? I mean, wouldn’t it just like melt the candy and leave you with sticky resin-starburst goo all over your hands? Is this the point? Either way, thank you for the revelation.