On Friday, Tegan and Sara released the latest installment in their quest to make a video for every song off their excellent new album Love You To Death. “BWU” is a head-bouncer of a synthy pop song, which Sara wrote about not wanting to get gay-married.
The video, directed by Clea DuVall, starts with Sara proposing to her presumed-girlfriend in a park in L.A. Sara eagerly opens a red ring box, and her partner’s face immediately falls. Rejected, Sara wanders downtown L.A., proposing to everyone she encounters. After being repeatedly rebuffed, Sara encounters a person in an excellent bow tie and gets down on one knee in front of her. The person is confused and weirded out — until she sees what’s in the box.
“BWU” is a gorgeous nod to all the queers — and anyone really — whose relationship challenges were not simplified or solved by marriage equality. “Save your first and last dance for me/I don’t need a white wedding,” the twins sing, affirming commitment without the fanfare or implications of a wedding. Sara discussed this further in an interview with Entertainment Weekly.
I was happy when the Supreme Court ruling legalized same sex marriage in the USA, but I was also relieved that I could finally ”come out“ as a person who actively dislikes the institution. Specifically the assumption that by not participating in the ritual you are a deviant or unlikely to share the same common values as someone who does.
“BWU” affirms that relationships can be strong and meaningful outside the context of marriage and hetero/homo-normativity. It also shows the part that comes after figuring out marriage isn’t what you want: finding partners who are on the same page.