Glee 316 Recap: Saturday Night Glee-itosis

Following an invigorating commercial break during which I learned a lot about cars and allergies, we return to this fine disaster of a show vis-à-vis Sue’s office, where she’s summoned Kurt & Mercedes to condemn their consortium with the enemy, aka Unique from Vocal Adrenaline.

But he's our love child, never meant to be, love child, scorned by society, love child, always second best, love child, different from the rest

Kurt explains it wasn’t LIKE THAT, they were just lending four clean ears to a fan’s emotional turmoil regarding her Inferno’s Hope/Dream to don a dress at regionals. They assure Sue they assured Unique it was a terrible idea, to which Sue counters that it’s the best idea she’s ever heard, or something.

“This is Ohio,” Mercedes reminds all of us confused since last week’s field trip to a Los Angeles theme park. “I don’t think many people are gonna be down with that.”

Sue, undaunted, retrieves these glorious size-13-wide shoes (“Janet Reno wore them the day they caught the Unabomber,” says Sue) from her vagina and implores Kurcedes to deliver them unto Unique, which, in Sue’s estimation, will cause Vocal Adrenaline to tank at regionals and ensure New Directions’ success.

no really i found these in an alley outside lucky cheng's

Kurt and Mercedes shoot one another weary looks but ENOUGH! Who wants to see Santana in a pantsuit? YOU DO!

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Smear to Glee Club, where Santana’s performing “If I Can’t Have You” ostensibly for the class, but mostly for you, me, tumblr and Brittany S. Pierce.

if i can't have santana's cleavage, i don't want no body baby

Quinn’s high on Vicodin and Santana’s not wearing underwear but is wearing a gold lamé headwrap sex goddess situation and clutching a bedazzled microphone and Brittany is happy as a clam-diver, she truly is.

oh my god this is just like when we do Cleopatra roleplay

When it’s all said and done, we’ve got two sexy lesbian cheerleaders in love on prime-time television and that’s not for nothing — and this week is really the first time we’ve seen their relationship in action since it began existing, and it is truly sweet.

sexy lesbian cheerleader eyes: exhibit a, b, c

Santana wraps it up, Brittany adorably wipes tears from her eyes, and Will opens his piehole:

Will: “This was more than just a beautiful love song to Brittany. It was also a powerful way to convey your dream that marriage equality will some day be a reality for everyone, and you’re off to law school to make it happen! Amazing!”
Santana: “Uh, of course I want marriage equality, and yeah Brittany will always be my girlfriend –”
Brittany: “Score.”
Santana: “– but my mistress is fame. And that song was all about how I can’t live withouts my fame.”

brittany seemed really honest and smart in this scene didn't she? right?

Santana advises Will to save the Stuart Smalleyisms for “the theater nerds who are going to starve in New York while desperately trying to tap-dance their way into the chorus of Godspell.” Santana’s gonna be famous, and that’s that, motherfuckers.

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We then cut to the auditorium, where Rachel is explaining to Finn that despite dreaming her whole life about moving to New York to be a star amongst people who truly understand her, she’s come to realize that home “isn’t a place,” “it’s a person,” and that person is Finn. Then Gloria Steinem punched her in the throat and I muted the television.

My notes for this scene:

11. UGH
a) seriously if i watched this scene my teeth would erode from all the vomiting

no seriously i can’t recap this scene
seriously no finn scenes

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Cut to the Sexily-Hallowed Hallways of McKinley High, where Santana’s getting breast-implant levels of creepy sexual attention from her hormonal classsmates, including Artie:

Artie: “Santana, watching Two Girls One Cat was like staring into the face of God.”

why's everyone looking at my ass? i wear a lolita-esque carwash cheerleader skirt every day!

Santana: “Why is everyone staring at me like I’m Finn and I just won a butter-eating competition?”
Brittany: “It’s because you’re famous. Everybody’s loving the sex tape of us I posted on the internet.”
Santana: “What? Brittany, that sex tape was private. We made that for us.’

Silly Brittany, what goes on between girls is private, that’s why WE NEVER SEE IT ON THIS SHOW.

Brittany: “No, I know, but I sliced it together with a video of Lord Tubbington performing everyday household chores.”

Silly Brittany, …. no, that’s it. Just Silly Brittany. Silly Brittany, you’re cute and this is fun!

i already got an email from babeland saying sales of the rodeo harness tripled within hours of our video going up!

Santana’s not as thrilled as Brit-Brit had hoped/dreamed, and since the only thing between this scene and the next scene is a Finn/Will scene, I’m gonna keep rolling with this like it’s all the same scene, and say we’re smearing to the library, where Santana’s being targeted by additional lustful glances as Brittany attempts to rally enthusiasm for her earnest participation in dreaming Santana’s impossible dream.

Brittany: “You say your dream and I help build your dream and that’s what a partnership is about, right?”

Ultimately what makes this relationship work is how fully they accept and support one another, flaws and all, which I think can be a side-effect of falling in love with your best friend. Santana’s fiercely independent, but the way Brittany helps Santana isn’t threatening that because it comes from a genuine place of admiration and understanding, not a “I know you better than you do” place (which seems to be the place Rachel comes from when helping Finn). I admit it’s difficult to buy this relationship ’cause it’s difficult to buy Brittany’s brainpower at all, but I buy it anyhow because it’s on sale and I’ll buy anything that’s on sale, just look at my diagonally-seamed jeans. Nevertheless, this episode went a long way towards showing us how/why it works.

ANYHOW! After watching “One Night in Paris” and all the other sex tapes, Brittany’s done some further channel-surfing and determined the best way to get Santana famous would be via Reality TV.

this is so cute

Before hurdling forward into Whoreders, let’s address this sex tape thing: attempting to formulate relevant commentary on this particular Line of Story has left me muter than the Glee Club Jazz Ensemble. After at least four minutes of soul-searching I’ve concluded I’m not sure how to feel ’cause McKinley’s staff and student body doesn’t know how to feel either.

See, even in a Universe where May is a good time to apply to NYU, there’s no way a lesbian sex tape would go over so quietly. Sex! Actual sex! Really? Teenagers having sex on the internet? Teenagers openly (and loudly, even in the library!) watching a “sex tape” on mobile devices during school hours? We’ve even got a class of kids once horrified by Sebastian’s threat to photoshop Finn’s face onto a naked person’s body who don’t even acknowledge their lady-classmates scissoring on the internet. Can I just restate that these are two teenagers, engaged in sexual activity on the internet?

Ultimately, how am I supposed to know how to feel when THEY WON’T SHOW ME THE SEX TAPE. Pictures or it didn’t happen, asshats, pictures or it didn’t happen.

no, not this kind of pussy, the other kind

I’d call this episode a cock-tease, but I think this episode and this show in general has plenty of cock in it already, so I’ll call it a pussy-tease (despite hating the word “pussy” with a passion) and I think Lord Tubbington would support that decision.

So, Brittany’s full of scatalogical ideas:

Brittany: “Number one: I see how you keep your car, so you could totally be on Hoarders. You just need to start storing your poops in the trunk and I’m sure they’ll book you.”
Santana: “No, Brittany, I can’t do that.”
Brittany: “Well, you have to, if you wanna be on the show.”

thanks babe, but i've got my eye on a little something the ladies call "the real l word"

Brittany even drove all the way to Spencerville to buy bull testicles in hopes of prepping her lady-love for Fear Factor, but that’s not Santana’s path, either, and we’re left semi-smitten just the same.

how many times do i have to tell you -- kiss the clit, not the forehead

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Cut to a different Region’s Regionals, where Kurt and Mercedes arrive to “support” their biggest fan, which means Kurt admitting that although he’s often dressed like a Project Runway semi-semi-semi finalist, he’s never “dressed up like a woman.” However —

Unique: “That’s because you identify yourself as a man. I thought you of all people would understand. I’m wearing them.”

Yes, despite Kurt’s desire to claim ALL THE OPPRESSIONS, he sees himself as a man, and Wade does not. So this is Wade coming out as trans.

i may be dressed like a walking bottle of Burberry Brit, but I'm worried about your boogie shoes

This feels both predictable and inconsistent, however — because it does seem like Kurt, of all people, should understand. In addition to regularly donning women’s clothing and dressing like a series of natural disasters, pirate queens and jungle animals, in Episode 220, Kurt campaigned for his right to wear a kilt to prom, citing his exemplary Good Gay behavior and prom being “about joy, not fear” as reasons why his boyfriend and father’s concerned objections should be silenced.

And yes, yes, yes, dear reader, a kilt is not a dress and heels. But prom at a small-town Ohio high school is not Show Choir regionals, either, so I feel like it all evens out, you know?

But, much like Kurt re: Junior Prom, Unique refuses to stifle her true self to please the Cracker Barrel patrons of Ohio, particularly ’cause Jesse St.Melchior’s the only audience member aware of her usual gender presentation anyhow so you know, THE SHOW MUST GO ON! Unique performs as Unique and Jesse St.Melchior turns 50 shades of Purple Summer:

blow job face

… and thusly Jesse St. Melchior bounds stage-ward to remove Unique from the stage, which — if he’d been successful — would’ve been a profoundly idiotic move. He fails, obvi, and Unique kills the number, eats it, brings it back to life, kills it again and throws it all over the stage and it turns into glitter and tastes like freedom.

When she smiles and twirls, you kinda wanna smile and twirl too. You know… like you wanna do a little dance to the goddesses of self-acceptance?

Backstage, Kurt & Mercedes exude actual glee (the feeling, not the disease) ’cause Unique’s emotional debut overrides the fact that Jesus Christ these kids are gonna have some serious competition at Nationals.

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We then cut to a Finn/Rachel scene which leads into a Finn/Rachel dance number, and as homosexuals re-appear on my screen I re-focus my eyes upon it, ignoring Finn’s falsetto (which is actually much better than his whateverimtryingtobenormaletto) in favor of the view, which’s notable ’cause what I see on my screen are two homosexual couples, one Asian-American couple and one union of Flour Sack and Replicant! So diverse!

vertical frottage

Unfortunately my enjoyment of this scene was blocked by Finchel and also by my girlfriend, who thinks “More Than a Woman” is really misogynistic/insulting-to-women and expressed that opinion repeatedly throughout the number. If I wasn’t a total exhausted weirdo right now I’d explain why/how she feels that way and why/how I agree, but alas, I am, and I think I need to go eat something.
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Sam has also discovered The Tube Of You and posted Mercedes’ Inferno upon the internet and it seems this is a special annal in The Tube Of You wherein commenters are not only nice but also not rapey, sizeist, racist, homophobic, sexist or monumentally stupid. Furthermore, this annal is so kind and this video so spectacular that everybody who sees it leaves a comment, apparently, because when Mercedes looks at the View count, Sam says “there are 485 positive comments!” and that’s basically the equivalent of winning American Idol. Also, that video is really on the internet and has over 570k views.

the 1 dislike was from me

485 positive comments on YouTube means she’ll def make it in Los Angeles. “You’re not skim milk, you’re cream rising to the top,” he says as if that’s not totally sexual, and then kisses her right on the mouth.

and thus the cream rises to the top

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Cut to Sue’s Lair of Real Talk, where Santana’s getting a brief and baffling talking-to regarding the “sex tape,” for which Santana seems prepared to take complete responsibility, because you know, whatever, why not?

on the upside, the video made it onto NSFW Sunday on Autostraddle.com, which is no small feat

Much like “pushing up the wedding date,” saying “I was just leaving” when one’s nemesis enters the room, and attempting to “save” a show-choir performance by running on stage to extract the lead singer, “applying to college on somebody else’s behalf ” is a magical thing that only happens on television and it’s happening here — Sweet Sweet Brit-Brit and Sue have conspired to get Santana a full cheerleading scholarship to the University of Louisville (“It’s in Louisville!” Brittany adorably intones).

take me by the hand and tell me you would take me anywhere

Sue jokes that this was Brittany’s best idea of the last decade, the girls hug, and all is well in Whoville.

Santana: “I don’t know that this is 100% the answer for me. But just knowing that I have somebody who believes in me as much as you do — I love you so much.”
Brittany: “I love you too.”

HUGGGGS! AWWWWWWWWW

seriously though are we gonna see the sex tape or what

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Somebody or something somehow wins something la de dah and the entire Club is decked out in the John Travolta Suit and who can be mad at Santana in menswear, nobody, that’s who.

one of us looks like colonel sanders and it's not mercedes or santana

We conclude this emotional rollercoaster with a group performance of Stayin’ Alive, which is admittedly delightful because: 1) Fun Fact: as a dancing double, Sue Sylvester effectively neuters Will Schuster and makes him surprisingly bearable and 2) Santana strutting in a suit.

And that, my friends, is the end of this smashing episode! Next week is the Whitney Houston episode, there’s a scene by the lockers with a Whitney shrine that reminds me of how we all decorated our lockers for Kurt Cobain. Also this number reminds me of why I still accidentally love this stupid show more often than I’d like to admit.

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Riese is the 39-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

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89 Comments

  1. I came late to Glee, DVDs in October 2011. I have yet to watch an episode on its actual air date, probably never will as I prefer to “watch” on Tumblr and Twitter. Lately, I have been pondering what Glee has/had as its intent. Can’t figure it out AT ALL but have come to the following conclusions:

    1) the creative part of Glee, RIB, other writers, use the cast as animated ventriloquist’s dummies, slotting them into situations to serve a “plot” with no regard for anything that has gone before

    2) the writers do not work collaboratively, seeming, in fact, to not even watch any episode they did not write

    3) some cast members have spectacular vocal skills but it is often the less talented ones doing too much of the singing

    4) the creative team wanted to make an entertainment vehicle about a Glee club, casting young people not yet well known – that some of the cast are now quite popular has made the creative team insanely jealous and so they are erasing any and all character development for these popular cast members

    I laughed quite hard in some places of your recap. I do not watch any scene with Finn in it. I miss original Rachel so much. I, too, have some factory seconds clothing with diagonal seams.

  2. Whoa, whoa, whoa-before I go on reading, I must take a moment to defend: “whatever Robo-tripping fuckwad is responsible for “Cough Syrup,” and that unfortunate “Somebody Who I Used to Know” duet”.

    Young the Giant is a legitimately talented group of guys/musicians. I dig them. And the only reason Gotye’s song is unfortunate now is because the radio took it and laid some stupid beat behind it to play in their Saturday Night Mix Shows. Making Mirrors is an AWESOME album, as well as his earlier stuff.

    I realize this makes me look like the most pretentious hipster on the planet, but whatever. It’s true.

    • Nope, I totally agree about Gotye – the album is really good, and the original version of “Somebody Who I Used To Know” is really very beautiful.

      I *think* she was pointing out that the choice of turning it into a duet between brothers was…completely inappropriate. And kind of totally slandered the song.

  3. haha your reviews are always hilarious.
    totally cannot stand Finn too and i’ve no idea why the hell so many people think he’s good looking! URGH! not when there are the real good looking guys on the show.
    yes and cough syrup was horrible.

  4. Also, can I exude my undying love and affection for Riese once more?

    a) Using female pronouns for Unique – you’re the only reviewer so far that I’ve seen do that and it makes my heart swell with love for you.

    b) You need like 4 bottles of whiskey having to put up with all the Finchel bullshit.

    c) You’re hilarious and a goddess and I’ll probably embarrass you at camp.

    • No but seriously Riese this recap was so fucking funny i cried from laughter, not once, but thrice. I mean, COME ON THIS LINE:

      ” what I see on my screen are two homosexual couples, one Asian-American couple and one union of flour sack + Replicant! ”

      And all of the props for using female pronouns, hell yes

      • “Whenever Rachel Berry returns to Glee to replace that whiney, severely-banged, lovestruck, Quiverfull moron they’ve stuck in her body, I’ll return to recapping her words and scenes but until then I JUST CANNOT.”

        That made me LOL. My favorite paragraph of the recap.

        • YES all the comments about Rachel were perfect. Especially:
          “We then cut to the auditorium, where Rachel is explaining to Finn that despite dreaming her whole life about moving to New York to be a star amongst people who truly understand her, she’s come to realize that home “isn’t a place,” “it’s a person,” and that person is Finn. Then Gloria Steinem punched her in the throat and I muted the television.”
          This is probs my number one pet peeve, when shows totally throw out a character’s previous goals/wishes/personality/free will because of a romantic plotline. Also why can’t Finn, her “home” come to New York with her again? Am I confused b/c I haven’t actually watched one of their scenes all season without muting/fast-forwarding?

  5. Why would the Glee Writers want us to see Santana and Brittany’s sex tape? Everyone knows that holding hands and, like, talking about the patriarchy or the evironment or some shit doesn’t get ratings.

    Also, Will calls in 3 students for a remedial chitchat, and two of them just happen to be Glee’s biggest people of colour characters? Classy.

  6. I only watched the first 2/3 cause then my stream cut out and I couldn’t get it back and I’m lazy. So.

    But yes, thank you for using appropriate pronouns for Unique. I may or may not have twitter corrected Lea Michele for calling Unique “him” (I also may or may not follow Lea Michele on Twitter, WHATEVA, HATERS GON’ HATE.)

    • I tried to forgive Lea Michele by thinking she might be refering to the actor, Alex Newell. But I didn’t watch the Glee Project, so I don’t know how Alex identifies, or whether that was ever referenced/discussed on the Glee Project.

        • I did watch the Glee Project – I think Alex doesn’t know how he identifies yet. He’s very young, and doesn’t seem to have a lot of exposure to gay and trans folks. From the way he talked about himself, I dunno. I think he might be trans or gender queer. It’s hard to say. Some young people explore a lot of ideas after coming out, trying out how they feel about breaking from gender norms.

          That doesn’t excuse the show from doing a better job of trying to write the character of Wade and Unique in a way that is clear, thoughtful and sensitive, though.

  7. I don’t blame you for not being able to deal with the Finn/Rachel scenes, I’m having a hard time making it through most of them myself. I’m not sure what they’re doing with this Rachel. Where is Rachel Motherfucking Berry?! Her crazy ass drive to succeed and her absolute confidence that she would? The girl that said “I’m like Tinkerbell. I need applause to live.” I want HER back.
    Not this “I’ll stay with you in Ohio until you figure out what you want to do besides stay in high school and be young forever” Finn appendage.

    I thought Unique just blew up “Boogie Shoes”. It was my favorite performance of the night, and considering that Santana had a solo wearing that slinky peach jumper thingy, that’s saying something.

    Santana is just sex on a stick and Brittany is smarter about people and relationships than she is about facts and reality in general. This show is so absurd and over the top with it’s plots and humor that I don’t use any real world logic to assess it, it’s better that way. I wish there were a glee universe where only the female members of New Directions existed. I would live there and watch them sing and dance and be pretty forever.

  8. Santana on The Real L Word is probably the best idea ever.

    And I never even saw Rachel telling Finn that she was willing to give up NY for him or whatever, because when I saw that they had a relationshippy scene, I went off and made a sandwich. So in my mind, it never happened.

  9. Was it a sex tape? I don’t even know if this can be discussed sensibly because of Glee itself – all these kids are having sex or have had sex but they thought before Holly that there were AIDS cucumbers and hot tub pregnancies and then you have the g-d squad that consisted mostly of Glee members who were conflicted about whether they could sing to Brittany for Santana but they’re buds with them & presumably see them together all the time? And then Figgins supposedly got complaints because Brittana even KISSED. The words “sex tape” denote actual sex but at times I’m not even sure these kids know what it is – esp. between two women. I would not be suprised if Brit posted a tape of them holding hands on her bed, kissing, and then Lord Tubbbington putting away the dishes, and then these dumbass kids referring to it as “sex.”

    I’m curious about it cause there were comments on the web whining why Brit wasn’t pilloried in same way as Finn for violating Santana. I guess as you say we don’t know what to think about the tape because we didn’t see most of it. I tend to think Brittany is a Machiavellian (sp?) genius who plotted everything including the non sex sex tape, even the spelling of whoreders (exposing her real feelings about the matter). I even think she might be where Will got his random remark about Santana being an attorney.

    Or Brittany released a sex tape and nobody cared. Which is possible of Glee, too. And I think Santana’s so head over heels that she wouldn’t care much if Brittany did, which is scary.

    Like most people I’m trying to figure out whether Brittany is a really great, supportive partner or a time bomb strapped to Santana’s chest. I lean towards the former but on this show who knows.

    Wade/Unique was pure joy, one of those performances that makes me not quit Glee (after talking shit innumerable times about doing so). I would watch 10 shitty episodes for another moment like this.

    Great re-cap as usual, and fast, considering everything you have on your plate. Thanks for everything!

    • INORITE

      Except I sort of hate it because I was so ready to leave this show for good if they had another ep where Brittana didn’t interact at all…and then they went and hugged and said “I love you” and sang to each other UGH and my little heart didn’t know what to do.

  10. As a trans girl myself, I just have to say that I thought the Wade/Unique character was a train wreck. Nearly every trans person knows the frustration of being confused with drag and crossdressing, and this portrayal severely reinforced that.

    Now, if we keep tally of all the statements and cues regarding Wade/Unique’s character, it seems to indicate about 80% drag and 20% trans. But then factor in the things that almost all trans people experience (crippling dysphoria, fear of outing oneself, etc.) compared to the character (always chipper, outs self to strangers, etc.) and it’s more like 100% drag, 0% trans.

    Once again, Glee royally screws over a sensitive LGBT issue.

    • Yes, this worries me. I didn’t think it was a trans storyline until the “you identify as a man” comment – all indications were that this was drag.

      Now, I think authors should be able to represent all sorts of experiences, ones that fit with our stereotypes about a typical trans experience and ones that don’t, because there IS no one universal trans experience. It is possible that someone might experience their identity this way, or frame their feelings in draggy terms because that’s more acceptable in their community. I can imagine a perfect world where this character is one unique (har har) representation among many, and that their gender is explored in a nuanced way. Imagine a storyline where Wade begins living as Unique off the stage, or has to deal with the reconciliation of two identities.

      BUT, this is Glee, so there can be no nuance. And this actor got a TWO episode story arc, so it ain’t gonna be fleshed out much more than this. And there AREN’T other representations of trans people on mainstream TV, so this may be taken as what trans IS, by many people. So that worries me.

    • YES. Is it wonderful to see a trans* person of color on a popular TV show on one of the four big networks? Yes. And in an ideal world, we could all just enjoy the general genderqueerness and not worry as much about identification. But Glee’s creators have now specifically identified Unique as a trans* woman – which was not at all communicated clearly in the episode itself (and given that Alex is only scheduled to have one more appearance on Glee, likely will never be). I’m worried because this is the only recap I’ve read that uses the correct pronouns and because of the many comments by viewers I’ve read that express an understanding of Unique as a drag queen persona rather than a woman (and some of those comments have also been genderphobic towards drag queens and genderqueer people). I understand why this actor and character may seem like a built-in opportunity to feature such a individual(my understanding is that the actor often performed as a drag persona during the reality show), but it also highlights that Glee’s “diversity” (really only expressed in terms of sexual orientation – any racial/ethnic diversity is offset by the horribly offensive stereotyping) seems to be built around attention-grabbing rather than thoughtful portrayals of groups who don’t often see themselves represented in mainstream media. I can’t remember who, but someone once described Glee’s creators/producers as a little too occupied with self-congratulation regarding their “ground-breaking” character creations rather than focusing on ensuring that those characters’ portrayals are actually respectful and (somewhat) true to life.

    • Having watch the Glee Project, (admitting that out loud?!) I think they may be taking their understanding of Unique from Alex himself, who is not very aware about trans issues. From the way Alex talked on that show, he may genuinely be trans or gender-queer, but with not a whole lot of self-awareness and taking most of his cues about himself from Rupaul’s drag race.

      I think they simply wrote about him the way he talked about himself, without any sort of larger perspective on handling a trans character that was thoughtful or meaningful.

      • I think you might be right. I haven’t watched the Glee Project, but it did seem consistent with what someone who is very into the musical theater/singing scene but with no real knowledge about trans issues might think/say. Which would kind of make sense, considering Wade seemed comfortable performing “as Unique” (not how I think a trans person would actually represent it, but that seemed to be how they were talking about it, right?)
        I read the whole thing as the character being a confused teenager who has had very little exposure to other options (and maybe only knows anything from watching videos of famous performers in drag doing a super campy, over-the-top, diva-esque thing). I assumed this wasn’t meant to be the ‘normal’ trans experience (if there is such a thing), because Wade already had such huge amounts of self-confidence and stage-presence and so wasn’t the “typical” confused, self-hating, questioning trans teen who would NEVER consider outing herself on stage in front of hundreds of people, my god.
        Idk, man. As always, it’s hard to tell if this is Glee being stupid, confused and irresponsible, or actually doing a nuanced, amazing representation of a trans character in the very very early stages of defining her own identity.

  11. Glad I’m not the only person who thought that “Somebody I Used to Know” song was incredibly overrated.

    I have a class this semester that conflicts with Glee. I got Hulu Plus so I could still watch it, but I haven’t used it much because I’m finding it so hard to care. But maybe I’ll watch this episode since there’s so much Brittana.

  12. I thought the Wade/Unique storyline wasn’t extended as much as it should have been, but again, considering who wrote the episode I think I’m kinda glad they didn’t give it time to screw it up. I thought it was well done and I got that he was trans and not just a cross dresser after his last line to Kurt, so in a way I guess the simplistic way Glee used to explain it works? I wish Alex and the real life Rachel Berry had won The Glee Project instead of Dreads and Irish.

    I cried tears of laughter reading this recap (for reals) but I’m surprised you were actually quite positive about the Brittana storyline. Take the cute out of it and not only Santana is written completely out of character, we have another “Santana is being shallow/mean, and we need to teach her a lesson, so let’s violate her privacy in front of the school/world and have her understanding and apologizing afterwards”, in a true ‘I Kissed A Girl’ episode fashion.

    Also where is Rachel, you guys. She was my favourite character but I guess she can’t be anymore because she doesn’t even exist. ‘Finchel’ is the worst relationship I’ve had to endure on tv in years.

    Sidenote: I really love the ‘How Will I Know’ performance. I hope they don’t screw up the Whitney episode. But as with everything…

  13. Well I don’t watch glee for its in depth storyline, I watch it because I love the music and it is an enjoyable show. They do a great job and while there may be a few misses here and there most are on the money. I heard a new version of we are young- glee sings it so much better. I loved the performance for cough syrup and someone I used to know. If I want to watch something serious I would watch ci or 60 minutes. It’s a bit of fun people. It sounds like this reviewer just hates glee, when you hate a show so much you can not possibly give a imps trial review. I guess that’s why I don’t take there advice on movies, what they normally like I think s crap, and what they a te I normally love. Each to his/her own I guess but it is light entertainment so sit back and enjoy the songs. The bee gees were great and I think they provided a good tribute to the generation and the music.

    • The whole “you’re entitled to your opinion, but your opinion is wrong” vibe of this comment is saddening.

      As a person in a frustrating, love/hate relationship with glee, I feel the need to point out that nobody hates glee more than the glee fandom, except maybe Riese, and talking about the flaws and letdowns, and having a chuckle at its expense, is some of the best fun of participating in that fandom.

      Considering this recap did draw attention to positives, I’d really hate to see your reaction to recaps of even worse episodes. :/

    • You seem to comment every time this site reviews Glee. If you hate the reviews so much why keep coming here to read them? Riese is entitled to her opinion on it. It’s her website. For the record, I complain alot about this damn show too. It’s not perfect by a long shot but I still watch it because it’s got elements that I do like. Mainly Santana in a pink jumpsuit. Have I mentioned that already?

  14. I was surprised that I actually enjoyed most of this episode since I hated last week’s so so so so much. Maybe Glee is starting to approach acceptable TV again.

    Oh, and tangentially related, I did have a teacher apply to a school for me. Unfortunately, I could never, ever have afforded to go, so I went to the horrible Mormon college my dad worked at.

  15. I would really like it if this show was called, “Four 4 One!” and featured best pals Mercedes, Kurt, Santana and Rachel singing ensemble pieces for 40 minutes and having fabulous adventures.

    That would be fine with me.

  16. Am I the only one who thinks that all the Brittana stuff we’re getting now is only fanservice? Gah, I cringed at nearly every scene they’re in… it just seems *so* forced now.

    • Huh. I have never thought it seemed forced at all, it seems as organic as it ever has. Naya Rivera and Heather Morris have crazy chemistry together no matter what their characters are doing/not doing.

      I’m always amused by shippers in general, glee can never please all of them no matter what it does.
      My ship doesn’t get enough story lines, my ship gets the wrong kind of story lines; my ship doesn’t get enough songs, my ship only sings songs I don’t like; my ship didn’t kiss soon enough, they only showed my ship kissing to exploit lesbians; my ship needs more attention as a couple, my ship is only getting more airtime to placate fans. Even the freakin’ Finn/Rachel fans find something to complain about.

      • “Even the freakin’ Finn/Rachel fans find something to complain about.”

        Well, why wouldn’t they with this trainwreck of a story they’ve been getting this season?
        (Also, there are still Finn/Rachel fans out there?)

        • Oh, god yes. They’re all over Tumblr. And so snarky/homophobic to Faberry fans. Finchel is the home of Glee homophobes, which you wouldn’t think exist, but they really do.

          The collective convulsion of hate they spewed out when Faberry won that online shipping poll was really unnerving.

          • In fact, a large measure of my Finchel hate isn’t even to do with the characters on the show, although that is annoying – it’s to do with the hate-filled Tumblr reaction afterwards. Even if you block those creepers on Tumblr, they still show up on your dash.

        • The Finn/Rachel fans complaints aren’t usually about the crappy relationship story line, in fact they seem to love it in general. You know…”isn’t it romantic the way she will give it all up for her man…” kind of shit. I think all of these fans are teenage girls swooning over the idealized Prince Charming romance crap and fans of the teen dream football captain/hero/all around high school stud that Finn is portrayed as.

          They usually complain about them not getting enough screen time(?!) or enough songs together, blah…blah…blah. Some of the things most other shippers complain about.

  17. “I’d call this episode a cock-tease, but I think this episode and this show in general has plenty of cock in it already, so I’ll call it a pussy-tease (despite hating the word “pussy” with a passion)…”

    I’ve adopted the phrase clit-tease for these situations, just a suggestion.

  18. Your ambivalence about the whole sex tape thing and the trans storyline is refreshing to read. I feel the same way. I’m usually hyper-critical when it comes to “Glee” and issues of representation, but I actually kind of enjoyed this episode, minus the Finn. Then when I actually thought about the storylines a few hours later, I was like, “hmm…actually, that was kind of problematic?” But I’ve spent so much time getting angry at this show, I feel like I don’t have the energy anymore and I’d rather just enjoy the cute Brittana moments and block out the Finchel.

  19. Everyone’s loving the sextape of us? GROAN.

    Why can’t Brittany and Santana act out their sexuality without being paraded about for a bunch of oafish rubbernecking fratboy douchenozzles? Why can’t they just be girls with agency using said agency to get sexy? It felt like they wrote that arc and shifted characterizations just so they could play out a lesbian cheerleaders do sex things for camera bro style fantasy/joke. Because lesbians having sex is just a bro style fantasy/joke. I just graaaa it’s so tired. It’s just tired.

    Also, Santana was a sassless out of character milquetoast in this episode. Therefore, Santana didn’t work for me no matter how mysteriously pantsless I became when she arrived in that white suit.

    Also, just because you have used the words boob, testicle, and/or poop in a sentence doesn’t mean you have successfully constructed a joke.

    Plus there was the whole business of giving up your personal ambitions to bask in the benevolent aura of your man. Gross.

    • “‘Glee’ Might Encourage Kids To Experiment With ‘Alternative Lifestyles’”

      I love how he is JUST figuring this out, after we had Kurt and Santana’s coming-out storylines, the gay boy couple’s first kiss episode and then first-time-sex episode, Santana and Brittany almost-making-out while joking about scissoring, Santana and Brittany’s V-Day kiss, the attempted gay suicide… Bill-O the Clown, you’re a little slow.

  20. I felt like this episode was probably one of the better Glee episodes we’ve had in a long time, which is saying something because this is written by the same guy as I Kissed A Girl.

    This episode would have been even better if we could have just completely kicked out Finn, because while I did like his character development Finchel is just such a bad relationship that even this forced “solution” to their partnership issues is way too late and seems rushed.

    I had mixed feelings about the Brittana, because it felt like Glee was totally downplaying how much of a breach of trust releasing the sextape created, but I love Brittana too much and the fact that would Brittany so whole-heartedly help Santana achieve her dream proves what a loving relationship they have (unlike Finchel over here).

    It was also great to see Mercedes have screen-time for once, and the Unique storyline was absolutely wonderful. Hopefully we’ll be seeing more of her in later episodes, and hopefully they will continue to present it as well as they did in this episode!

  21. First. Anyone notice how pleased Brittany looked when Santana walked in the room in that white suit? I do not blame the girl. Santana in that suit is the best thing that has happened throughout this entire series.

    Second, alllll issues aside, I thought Unique was absolutely beautiful when she was performing and she did totally kill that song. Fantastic. Why can’t she join the show as a regular and transfer schools?

    Third, I was not offended by the sex tape story line and I don’t feel that it was forced to push the sexy lesbian cheerleader male fantasy issue. I guess I just didn’t read that much into it. I think Brittany thought she was being genuinely helpful. I mean, most of the famous people she is probably a fan of do have a sex tape that really kick started their career. So can’t blame the girl. :) Also, Santana telling Brittany that they made the sex tape ‘just for them’ really erased any bad feelings there might have been. Fantastic.

    Also also also. I hate seeing Finn and Rachel make out at the drop of a hat, especially when most of Brittany and Santana’s dramatic romantic scenes have… a hug. Like when Brittany helped get her girlfriend a full-ride scholarship to a college with a fab cheerleading program… they tell each other how much they love each other… and hug. Urgh.

  22. I thought this was one of the better episodes lately.
    The disco music (I love it!), cute ’70s outfits, Brittany and Santana actually getting to interact with each other. Unique was totally charismatic and I loved her, though I agree that the show didn’t handle the trans* thing very well–I thought Unique was supposed to be a drag persona, too, until the line about how she didn’t identify as a man.
    Though aauuugh, Schuester’s comment to Santana about how her goal in life must be to fight for marriage equality (since she’s gay, clearly!)– I nearly threw something at my computer.

    • Santana should’ve told Schue off like so: “Bitch, I’m a RADICAL queer! Marriage is an outdated institution that reinforces patriarchy and I will NOT be fighting for it! Now, a trans-inclusive ENDA…that’s something I can get behind! Just ’cause I’m a lesbian doesn’t mean you know ANYTHING ABOUT ME! So step off, bitch!”

      or not…

    • I’m guessing that was fan fiction fan-service there, because Santana becoming a badass lawyer while Britt starts a dance studio is a fairly common fan fiction theme. And often, Santana goes to college on a cheerleading scholarship to get started on her legal career.

        • Well, there’s a heck of a lot of fan fiction out there, and once a popular story or two comes up with an idea, other people tend to build on it and it becomes canon or “fanon” within the fan fiction. It’s an interesting phenomenon. You see it most prominently with Rachel Berry’s dads – who appear in practically every single story that includes Rachel, oddly enough, while never appearing on the actual show. In season one, everyone had a slightly different take on what her dads were like, and around season 2, the characterization became pretty standard for both. It was weird when the onscreen characters were quite different than what had become standard characters in fan fiction with distinct personality traits.

  23. “like a three-year-old who just marked his territory with urine”

    I didn’t watch the episode, but thanks to my most precious nephew I know that look way, way too well…. And now I’m gong to laugh my ass off the net time he does it :P

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