FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: What are Your Favorite Youtube Videos and Pop Albums and Your Worst Fears?

Howdy Vuvalini and Many Mothers! It’s time for the Friday Open Thread! The Friday Open Thread is an open thread we host on Fridays! This is a place where queer ladies, womenfolk and gal pals and others can converge and upload pics and gifs and videos and talk about all the cool (or not so cool) things going on in your lives and answer questions! It’s like a slumber party! Or at least I think so? I’m trans and didn’t come out until my twenties, so I don’t really know what a girl’s slumber party is like. Womp womp.

image by Rory Midhani

image by Rory Midhani

So, how am I doing, you ask? Pretty good! I’m really busy working on my Autostraddle duties, plus getting ready for camp, plus I’m working on a lot of comics-related projects, some of which will come out soon! Awesome! Also, this year, instead of flying to camp, my friend Heather (who’s purely amazing, by the way), said that she would drive with me! I’m like, deathly afraid of flying. I hate it so, so much. Out of the last ten times I’ve been in an airport to fly, I’ve cried nine times. I’m also super afraid of whales. I don’t like them and I never will. What are you afraid of? Do the people in your work’s slack channel make fun of you for being afraid of things like my friends do? It’s all fun, though, until I freak out and start crying, but that’s only happened, like, twice.

Now, it’s time to get to the meat of this Open Thread. I’m gay for two things: YouTube videos and pop music. Okay, also I’m gay for ladies and a bunch of other stuff, but I do love YouTube videos and pop music a lot.

2k15 was a fucking great year for pop music. One of the best ever, in my opinion. We had Revival by Selena Gomez and E MO TION by Carly Rae Jepsen, which, by themselves, would’ve given 2k15 two of the century’s best pop albums, but then we also got really terrific albums like Demi Lovato’s Confident, Fifth Harmony’s Reflection and Bieber’s Purpose. This was definitely the year for pop singers to put out one-word, career-defining albums. Honestly, I’ve listened to those albums so many times it’s ridiculous. What are your favorite pop albums (mine’s E MO TION), songs (mine’s “Your Type”) and lyrics (mine’s “I mean I could, but why would I want to?” from “Hands to Myself” by Selena Gomez) from the past year? If you don’t like modern pop, what older pop do you love? I love the Beach Boys, Lesley Gore, The Bangles, The Go-gos, George Michael, Tiffany, Belinda Carlisle, Mariah Carey and Elton John.

When I love a YouTube video I love it with 100% sincerity. I don’t like these ironically or anything. These videos fill me up with so much joy and love for life and the world. In fact, most of these have made me cry. I love these videos so much. These videos are like my family. I’ve watched each of them dozens and dozens of times, maybe more. So, here are my Top 7 Favorite All-Time YouTube Videos (because I couldn’t narrow it down to a top 5) in no particular order.

  • Vin Diesel – Stay (Originally performed by Rihanna): This video is so tender and amazing and I love it so much. He sang along to this great Rihanna song as a Valentine’s Day gift to his girlfriend, I think? And he’s so earnest and surprisingly great at singing and the Rihanna video is playing on the wall next to him, and it’s just perfect. This is the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen.

  • Countdown (Snuggie Version) [Comparison]: This is a remake of Beyonce’s amazing music video for Countdown, and this kid, Ton Do-Nguyen kills it. He absolutely nails that choreography and the look of the video. This is genius. As Queen Bey would say, it’s Flawless. And the pure joy that he has on his face the whole time is just so contagious! To top it off, he got invited to the VMAs because of this video! Great!

  • Lady Gaga – VMA 2009 “Paparazzi” (HD): I’m not gonna lie, I love this song to death, and in my opinion, this performance of it was the absolute peak of Gaga’s career. It perfectly encapsulated her queer, weird, ground-breaking, melodramatic brilliant monster theme. It’s so weird and artsy and perfect. This performance, specifically the moment at 3:16, where you can literally hear the crowd gasp, made me trans. (I mean, I’m not a fan of the fetishizing of wheelchairs and disabled people, I wish she hadn’t done that)

  • David Schwimmer says “Juice”: Have I told y’all how much I loved American Crime Story: The People vs. OJ Simpson and especially David Schwimmer’s performance as Robert Kardashian? It was amazing.

  • Rumor Has It / Someone Like You – Glee (Full Performance HD): This is easily, by far, heads and shoulders above the rest, the best performance in the history of Glee. Naya Rivera should’ve won an Emmy just for her facial expressions and movements in this one performance. Ugh, this always makes me tear up. It’s perfect. The way Naya Rivera and Amber Riley and Heather Morris perform this is just heartbreaking. This is better than everything Adele’s done in her entire career.

  • Nicki Minaj raps Monster Verse during CRWN Interview / 18.12.14: This is the best rap guest verse of all time and this video perfectly shows Nicki’s power and the love her fans have for her and she has for her fans. I love Nicki, I’d do anything for her.

  • Scariest Drag Show EVER from the Phillipines: Now, this one, this one is great. This is my favorite thing. It’s definitely worth watching the every single second of this Ryan Robles performance. Did you know this is the version of the song done by queer Filipina cutie Charice? There’s something about it that reminds me of a bunch of later and lesser performances by white American drag queens, like Alaska Thunderfuck, but I can’t quite place it. Maybe you’ll be able to figure it out. This video is basicaly my aesthetic.
  • What are your favorite YouTube videos? Do you love any of the same ones I love? Wanna talk about them??

How To Post A Photo In The Comments:

1. Find a photo! This is the easy part. Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL” and then…

2. Code it in to your comment! Use the following code, and use a DIRECT LINK to the image. Your image link should end in .JPG or .GIF or .PNG or .CallMeWhateverYouWant even. I don’t care, but it should be an image suffix! KINDA LIKE THIS:

If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur. To learn more about posting photos, check out Ali’s step-by-step guide.

How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:

1. Find a video on YouTube or Vimeo or WHATEVER and click “embed.” Copy that code, but first make sure it’s for 640 px wide or less. If your player is too large, it will not display properly.

2. Copy the code and paste it directly into your comment.

3. Go forth and jam.

To post a youtube video in your comment, just put the url, that should do it!

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Mey Rude is a fat, trans, Latina lesbian living in LA. She's a writer, journalist, and a trans consultant and sensitivity reader. You can follow her on twitter, or go to her website if you want to hire her.

Mey has written 572 articles for us.


    • ugh, i know! I’m so sad! We’ve been talking about it on the Autostradddle staff slack channel and it’s breaking our hearts!

      • I was hoping it was some kind of Friday the 13th prank. Then I read their post with all of the very reasonable explanations of how they’ve had to pretty much carry the whole thing alone with basically no salaries, and it’s become more of a chore than a joy, and it made me recognize again how grateful I am that AS still exists even though I know you all struggle with similar challenges and I just want to reiterate how beautiful and valuable this community is and how much we all appreciate you and PLEASE DON’T EVER LEAVE US OK?

    • I was gonna post about this, too! I’m so sad – here and The Toast are the only places on the entire internet where I always read the comments.

      Also, it makes me anxious about other sites that I love (like Autostraddle.)

    • yeah :/

      I can live with them being people with more spacious lives, I just want it to continue to live in the universe, but that’s not how shit works I guess.

    • I am so sad about this, too. :(

      There are Toast communities springing up all over the place in response, though! #ToastieTwitter was trending for a while, and there is a subreddit at /r/ToastCrumbs.

    • It was the first internet thing I saw this morning. Wasn’t much encouragement to get up and do stuff. I’m so upset! I don’t even know where to look for anything resembling a substitute! Gah. Whyyyyyyyy

  1. mey is not kidding, we literally made an extra channel in slack called “the ocean” to post things about ocean-related news just in case a whale shows up.

  2. And now on topic! (Sorry.) I have been a big Radiohead fan for actual decades, and nearly lost my shit when I found out that one of my favourite songs that they’ve been teasing us with in live shows for years had finally been included on their latest album… and then I listened to it, and kind of hated it. :/

    BUT! Then a helpful Reddit user (yes, really) led me to this beautiful gem, where someone has taken my favourite live version and cleaned it up and remastered it so my ears can hear what it might sound like as a studio track!


    • legit the only radiohead song i know is creep and i know that makes me a nerd but i’m fine with it

    • I hate that I love Radiohead so much and so deeply and yet I’m so ambigious about whether or not to get the new album because..I mean, a band should evolve, but they lost their magic in return for some pseudo experimental weird stuff.
      I’m just really afraid that the new album is going to make me sigh in exasperation and disappointment again, you know?

      • I hear you. I did buy it, and I like it better than their last one, but other people are raving about it being their best album ever, which… just no. It has some good tracks but nothing that blew my mind.

      • Also it’s more string-y and almost folksy than pseudo experimental, if that helps. And moody of course because it’s Radiohead, but also apparently it’s Thom Yorke’s breakup album.

  3. Funny you should mention pop music, as LezCab, my non-profit theatre company devoted to creating an accurate and meaningful representation of queer women in order to foster equality and community, is putting on a 90s pop concert in a few weeks. If you’re stuck on the east coast for Memorial Day Weekend/unable to attend camp, this is the next best thing. Queer women singing 90s pop songs. Check it out! Also, Ali Stroker, the first wheel chair user to perform on Broadway (in the Spring Awakeng revival) is performing!!


    In other news, I ordered Thinx and am hoping they come in the mail before my next period.

    Also also, I’m blender shopping. I had the Magic Bullet, which died on me after a around 5 years. I’m using it mostly for smoothies. The Nutribullet looks awesome, but it’s so expensive. Any recommendations?

  4. Hi! I have very few pop music or youtube feelings that are accessible at this moment! This has been a week, capped by car trouble yesterday. Ugh. Hopefully it won’t be /too/ expensive, but it’s still going to be more than I was planning for, ya know? I’ve never really nailed down my “greatest fear,” but I think it might be getting sick or injured or mentally unwell enough that I have to live at home and be taken care of by my parents. For multiple reasons, that is maybe the worst future my mind can devise. But flying’s not super fun either!

    • jaja, thanks for the sympathy vote on flying. i like that you’ve got a really serious fear that’s legit and intense and then you’re like, “but flying is kinda scary”

  5. I really got attached to this YouTube channel that crushes things with a hydraulic press. Basically, every day or so, this person and his accomplice put something in the press and watch it get crushed.

    There’s also this really cute segment where someone (the accomplice I think) makes a clay animal and they crush that too often in hilarious ways. “It’s very dangerous and may AH-tack at any time. We must DEAL with it.”


    • ha! awesome. reminds me of ‘will it blend?’ (they use a blender instead of a hydraulic press). :^D

    • Ah! I saw the one where they hydraulic mushed a book. That was crazy! I work at a library and I wanted to post it to our fb page but decided too many people wouldn’t get it. Lol

  6. hi babes,

    I am watching a baby today who is playing and letting me internet, which is incredible, and the indie radio station is playing only soul music today bc Stevie Wonder’s birthday, which is perfect.

    I think many years later this is still my favorite youtube thing:

    I am just home from a road trip/had a 12 hour day at work yesterday because catching up and I am wiped out. Montana thrift stores are really incredible/I didn’t buy any antlers but I kept wishing I had somebody to give them to.

    My babe has been sick and super grumpy, and I would really love her to feel better but also be less of a grump. I’m going to some movie tonight at the trans film festival (Girls Lost, no idea what it’s about) and it’s me and babe’s 6 year anniversary Sunday.

    I wrote a thing:

    and I learned about ‘boop the snoot’ yesterday which is a silly niche internet thing. I also love classical-ish covers of pop-y songs.

    and these two:

    and I used to really love the ukalady, though she’s less prolific than she used to be, but she is some weird part of my heart.

  7. My biggest fear is finally reaching all of my goals and being well off but being alone at the end of it. I don’t want to wake up one day and ask, “was it all worth it?”, “where did I go wrong?”. My other fear is losing my parents. Mortality has been on my mind a lot and I am so scared of losing a big support factor with my mom and scared of never repairing or developing a healthy relationship with my father. Hmmmmmm. God now I am going to have some beer and paint some owls after work to cheer up.

    Good news on my end though. Even though all of my grades aren’t posted, I got an A average for this semester! If my speech class can just hurry up and post the final grade, I can send the new transcript to the university. I am now taking three classes for the summer, World Literature (fucking university says I need another English credit -_-), Financial Accounting 1 and 2. I am already burnt out from 13+ months of nonstop education and I have a demanding schedule for this coming fall semester.

    Bad news too, I can’t be on the fast track program for Accounting because I had a low GPA when I left university in the first place. Working 2 jobs, 3 hours of sleep and ADHD just did a number on my GPA for the first time around but there is some hope. :) I can get rid of three of my failing grades and I have to make nothing but a B average for one year. Fuck that, I am going for an A average again.

    Oh, I have taken to working out more too. I have been so stressed and just all over the place mentally that I feel like my body is always on the go. I drink my coffee so I can just focus on something, like cleaning, but it hasn’t been working. The good thing is that I have toned up a bit! So far working out helps handle my sudden cravings for (insert drug euphemism here) that have been really bugging me. Six years clean and it makes me feel like crap whenever I have a sudden urge to do something so stupid. So yeah, I guess working out and looking good have been saving me from making a terrible mistake.

    How is everyone else doing? Anyone know of some easy DIY home projects to keep busy?

  8. July of 2016 was a weird time for me. I was about to start an MSW program after 7 years out of school. I had just begun to unpack the realization that I’m bisexual. I came out and simultaneously confessed my love for a girl who had gnawed her way into my callous little heart and she rejected me. During pride. At my favorite gay bar. I sobbed in the street while I really nice queer boy tossed beads at me. I was trying to find my purpose. Trying to say sorry. Hearing my friends and family ask “What do you mean?” and crying out “I’ll show you!” in anxious defiance. I think you know where this is going. And then one night, in the midst of one of my scheduled weekly life freakouts, my bff and lesbian life coach sent me this video. She told me not to scoff. At this point I knew nothing about the Biebs. I had never even heard “Baby, Baby” all the way through. But there I was staring at the back of Justin Bieber’s sad little head while he tried to tell me to be patient with him while he figured things out. I watched it 26 times that night and a baptized myself a belieber. Nearly a year later and I am still inexplicably drawn to Justin. Like they say at the beginning of the Purpose: The Movement video– “If Justin can do it, I can do it.”


    • I knowwwwww and now I can’t figure out how to edit my comment and let’s just say this is why I usually don’t leave comments on the internet.

  9. Real. Talk. I HATE roaches. I’ll hide under my covers and call my roommate on the phone any time I see one. I also am very afraid of toenail and fingernail clippings. This fear stemming from a very bizarre childhood dream…

    Also, I have to give it to Demi for my fave 2k15 Pop Album. I think her approach to confidence is so vulnerable and insightful. It seems to be a lot of self acceptance, ownership. It’s about loving yourself, being gentle with yourself… even when you’re sad or hurt. Then, it’s about stepping through the other side and being a better, more confident human because of it. B-E-A-U-Tiful!

    • YES! I feel like Confident was such a great progression in her career! Like, it hit on a lot of themes that she’s been doing for a while – growth, resilience, self love – but she did it in a new, more bold way, and like you said, more gentle way. It was so good!!

      • Oh my gosh! Progression is the right word. I love that it is still her, but there is a visible growth. It feels so authentic. There are a few albums out there that attempt to share the same message, but they don’t feel as real/raw. Admittedly, I was a Demi fan before this album… and watching her growth is really inspiring and empowering.

    • Ew, I agree. Roaches are gross. I used to get them in my old apartment building, despite constant cleaning and spraying.

      • Do you want to hear something horrible! My friends got these plastic roaches… I swear… they look like REAL LIVE roaches… and they put them in all these random places in my apartment. One day I turned on the light in my room and all I see is the silhouette of roach on the inside of the light. It was terrifying. Thankfully, it was fake! I wasn’t even mad. The execution was spectacular. I am still plotting revenge though. Haha.

        Also, there was another time when my girlfriend left them strewn about Hansel and Gretel style. That was a more obvious deception so less terrifying and more hilarious.

  10. Right now I am into watching automotive reviews and nature photography. One of my favorites is the series SmokingTire. It’s pretty much a car reviewer who invites viewers to bring their custom, rare, or weird cars, and let him test drive it, while they are in the passenger seat. Some of it is a bit dry, but it’s cool to see/hear about a custom job someone did in their garage(or shop built, that’s cool too). Makes me want to get a project car and drive around the hills of SoCal. Not for everyone, but I dig it.

    How is everyone’s week going? Mines has been long. Saturday there was a straddler event I went to alone, but pretty sure no one showed up(including the host). So, I was at a fairly empty Latin gay bar waiting for an event to start. The host didn’t even leave a message on the FB page until the day after saying she passed out. On the plus side, I went out alone to the first gay bar(according to their sign) in DTLA, and on a Saturday.
    On the other hand, I think I made a new friend/internet pal, with a fellow straddler. I also got a fancy new suit this week. It’s not neutral(kind of hard to find a gender neutral suit at Saks), but at the price I paid I’m content with wearing it one night. Plus, I am sure I can queer it up by being myself while wearing it(paired with lipstick that matches my skin tone, and suppose to make my lips look fuller).

    They were filming this week near my work again. Could it be for the Black Panther movie? I hope so.

    Thank you for viewing and reading my post. Have a positive weekend!

    • That series sounds cool. I watched discovery turbo for much of the day whilst doing laundry so I’m in that headspace. I am hoping once I have a house with a garage I can start on the project car of my dreams – VW beetle, but the question is – do I make it a dune buggy, rat rod or something else…?

      • Make it both? Like dune rod? That’s one advantage of the Beetle. One that has power, but can do buggy duties. Speak of which the show recently had a 240z rally buggy. Makes decent power for the weight & is built to drive the Gobi desert.

  11. Hi, Mey!

    With regards to slumber parties, if it’s any consolation, I only ever went to two. And I threw up at both of them, but for different reasons. One that I went to when I was 9, something with the dinner didn’t agree with me. And then at that point, my dad had to come and get me. The second that I went to, when I was 12, one of the girls brought some kind of sweet liqueur from her parents’ house. That also ended in me throwing up, but I didn’t go home.

    I hope your trip to camp goes well. I’ve actually never been flying, so I don’t know if I would be scared, but it definitely sounds a bit scary to me. Of course, driving can be pretty scary too, even when you’re walking (and have to watch out for crazy drivers who almost hit you). I’m not afraid of whales. I guess I’m more afraid of conflict than anything else (I tend to leave/check out when people start arguing). And people shouldn’t make fun of you for that, especially not to the point of you crying! Hugs! There’s nothing wrong with being scared of stuff. =)

    For pop albums, I really like Taylor Swift’s CD, 1989. When I drive places, I listen to it. And I like Lady Gaga’s stuff too. I also have a CD with Aretha Franklin’s greatest hits that I enjoy lots, though that’s not really pop (way fun to listen to, however).

    On YouTube, I like some of the funny videos like Honest Game Trailers. There’s also a fellow on YouTube, Jere Joe, who posts videos of some of the games he plays, and he has a lot of pretty funny commentary. For example, he was playing a game that was narrated by Sean Bean. When things went bad in the game, he yelled “Ahhh, I’m gonna die! Protect me, Sean Bean!” LOL! He’s also really friendly, and I like that too. =)

    • Oh! the making fun of me didn’t make me cry, it was just thinking about whales that made me cry! and it was more of light teasing about my weird feelings about the ocean and whales and other monstrous things.

      i’m sorry that you kept on throwing up at sleepovers! i hope you have some good memories from them still!

      And yeah! 1989 is a pretty great album! And as you can see by my posting of that lady gaga video, i’m a huge fan of some of her stuff.

      Also, Aretha Franklin is so great! I love her!

  12. Yay camp!!!

    I love older pop music, like the Beatles and also folk music like Joni Mitchell. Her debut album “song to a seagull ” isn’t her most well known, but it’s beautiful.

    I have a huge fear of losing my memory or developing dementia. I’m only 26, but I’ve had this fear for as long as i can remember, which became especially pronounced after watching the decline of my grandfather. Also, I tend to be somewhat of a hypochondriac.

    Anyway this week has been busy but good. I’ve been getting to know a bunch of my a-camp cabin-mates by email and FB! And then yesterday I saw a youtube video of Kristen Russo getting excited about a-camp!

    Also, I finally finalized my apartment in Florida.

    And I dropped off my ballot! #feelthebern

    On a less fun note, I gave my cat a bath yesterday, and I got peed on and two bloody scratches, but I think she forgave me when I gave her salmon afterwards.

    Other than that, the week has been very busy at work with not much sleep and plenty of coffee.

    • Joni Mitchell is one of absolute all-time favorites!! I probably listen to her more than just about anyone else.

      That’s such a cute video of Kristen!! I can’t wait for camp!! it’s gonna be so amazing!!!!!

  13. Most of the slumber parties of my youth were super smash bros melee fests or anime marathons. But then my two best friends and I were all socially awkward, geeky pre-butch lesbians who would NEVER do anything “girly”. We were in a misogynistic “GIRL THINGS ARE DUMB AND GIRLS ARE DUMB I DEFINITELY DON’T SECRETLY WANT TO KISS THEM” phase. I’m embarrassed just remembering those times.

    I’m not much of a music person, in general, and my tastes trend toward classic rock, but I will occasionally find myself inexplicably in love with a pop song. Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance. Taylor Swift’s You Belong With Me. Those songs will get me singing and dancing every time.

    I’m afraid of spiders. The worst thing is I DID THIS TO MYSELF. My aunt told me once when I was about 8 that she was afraid of spiders. So I decided to be afraid of them, too. I literally just decided to be afraid of them. Now I have a full-blown phobia! It’s awful!

    Youtube videos… hmm. Well, honestly, the trailer for The Force Awakens is probably my personal most-watched video.
    I’m also diggin’ the Rogue One teaser trailer

    These foul-mouthed parrots both made me laugh so damn hard

    Last but not least, this is the video that taught me that I was a terrible human being, because I laugh every time I watch it

  14. Most of the slumber parties of my youth were super smash bros melee fests or anime marathons. But then my two best friends and I were all socially awkward, geeky pre-butch lesbians who would NEVER do anything “girly”. We were in a misogynistic “GIRL THINGS ARE DUMB AND GIRLS ARE DUMB I DEFINITELY DON’T SECRETLY WANT TO KISS THEM” phase. I’m embarrassed just remembering those times.

    I’m not much of a music person, in general, and my tastes trend toward classic rock, but I will occasionally find myself inexplicably in love with a pop song. Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance. Taylor Swift’s You Belong With Me. Those songs will get me singing and dancing every time.

    I’m afraid of spiders. The worst thing is I DID THIS TO MYSELF. My aunt told me once when I was about 8 that she was afraid of spiders. So I decided to be afraid of them, too. I literally just decided to be afraid of them. Now I have a full-blown phobia! It’s awful!

    Youtube videos… hmm. Well, honestly, the trailer for The Force Awakens is probably my personal most-watched video.
    I’m also diggin’ the Rogue One teaser trailer

    These foul-mouthed parrots both made me laugh so damn hard

    Last but not least, this is the video that taught me that I was a terrible human being, because I laugh every time I watch it

    • omg, that rogue one trailer!! i love the part at 34 seconds when jyn erso’s like “it’s a rebellion, i rebel” and mon mothma looks down and smiles and it’s like she’s thinking “oh dang, i’m totally gay for this girl”

      those are some talented parrots, i’m a big fan

      also, i feel like my participation in sleepovers with my guy friends were eerily similar to yours bc a lot of my time was spent asking things like “if you had to change your name to a girl name, what would it be? I’d rather die, i hate girl names, i never want to have one” to prove to my friends that i was as far away from being a girl as possible

  15. Mey, I am so sad to hear that you don’t like whales! We have been seeing tons of them around San Francisco lately and it’s possibly my favorite thing about being here. (I want to expand on that feeling, but I don’t want to freak you out by talking about them, so I won’t.)

    • jaja thank you! as i was reading your comment i started grimacing and bracing for the worst and so i was really relieved when you said you wouldn’t expand on your whale feelings.

  16. HELLO FOT!
    Anyone else excited for Eurovision? Imo, a perfect excuse to have a sleepover party with your friends like you’re nine years old. I have a saying, that it’s not a party unless there’s Party Rings (the colourful biscuits/cookies). You guys have them over the water? I’m happy to share the Europe-wide glitter and rainbow party with all of you Americans if you want to join.

    • YES Eurovision night is going to be so good! Also Ireland are out, how did that happen? Party rings are amazing, we should ship them to folk if they’re missing out.

    • God I wish I could go across the ocean. I am pretty sure we have those cookies. But I never seen some that are colorful, just some with chocolate. Then again, it is probably a different cookie altogether. If you want to live it up a little, make some Mexican sugar cookies and cut a hole in the middle. It will give you a sugar coma and they are extremely colorful. It may not be an “American” party ring cookie thing but it should count seeing as they are sold here in Tejas. :)

    • I am SO excited for Eurovision! I’ve been watching it from the states off and on since I was a kid–it’s such a prime source of camp and queerness! My parents briefly flirted with the idea of a party with Eurovision drinking games and bingo this year (they’re currently in Italy) but for some reason their American friends weren’t convinced.

    • YES!
      I have a game for Eurovision, but no one to play it with or likely any access to it until after the fact.

      I’ve only ever visited Canada, but I’ve know what Eurovision is since 2006 because the song Hard Rock Hallelujah by Lordi was Finland’s entry and won. Not just won but held the record of getting the most points until that song that shall not be named because it is an earworm from Norway.

      We generally do not have such colourful ringed cookies, but we do have ones with a chocolate covered bottom and drizzles. Also some “marbled swirl” ones that I haven’t seen in a local store in forever, but am confident they’re present somewhere in the States with more Germanic dense population.

      • Oh my goodness, such a great Eurovision scoreboard! Definitely going to use that next year, thanks. Somehow I managed to watch all 4 hours of the broadcast this year–so silly, and then so intense! Ok, now off to make cookies. Such good life advice on FOT :)

        • You’re welcome :)
          Humon, the maker of it and the comic Scandinavia and the World is a wonderful source of Eurovision related and international relations humour.
          If you read the SatW comic the little icons on the scoreboard become even funnier.

  17. In the last two years or so I’ve been traveling a lot for work and have since developed a crippling fear of bed bugs (stemming from a day when a co-worker was convinced her room had them). Seriously. Don’t google anything about bed bugs if you want to keep your sanity. I’ve become a person who walks into hotel rooms and immediately pulls the sheets away from the bed and inspects the mattress for droppings.

    • I feel that damn creepy crawly sensation after reading this. I read about bed bugs once and I started randomly checking my parents house and my apartment. But bed bugs are nothing to my fear of spiders. Every time I find out a new fact or something about spiders in your home, I can’t sleep. Of course this is due to waking up to a tarantula crawling up my chest while I slept.

    • I don’t blame you one bit. I had them in my first year of university (because dorms) and definitely do not want to repeat the experience. Although I found something that looked very much like a bedbug the night before leaving on this one-month trip (just to my parents’ place, plus a week in Paris) so I have that to look forward to when I get back…

    • I made the mistake of watching that show “Infested!” so yeah the bedbug thing now gives me the heaves.

  18. I don’t know if it’s pop music but I love every thing Grimes puts out and her latest video for “California” is no exception.
    also I can’t stop watching this video

    as some one with a bird fear I empathize with you. yes my friends make fun of it as well.
    This week has been rally good but also really emotional. I did speed dating for the first time which went surprisingly well and I actually have a date with a girl I met there tomorrow.
    I’m starting to date again but I might also be in the middle of a best friend break up which has me down and I’ve been crying a bit.
    I’ve been performing a lot lately and feeling really confident lately which is nice and has been giving me some happy tears. I’ve started taking a bit of a men’s’ wear plunge with my presentation which I’ve always been nervous and a little conflicted about but I’ve been feeling so much like my self lately and it’s been a little over whelming (in a good way)
    I also saw the new captain America movie and have a new favorite shirt.
    that’s my week how is everyone else?

  19. I listen to a fair amount of a capella on YouTube (I blame it on going to college on the East Coast)- this is probably my favorite, though:

    I’ve had a pretty good week- I have no less than three early-stage science papers I’m involved in (and subsequently will be coauthor on), one of the senior scientists is really excited about a class project I did (to the point that he wants to make the foundation of a grant), and right now I’m in the middle of lab “retreat” (we spend 2 days hanging out in a room for 8 hours, hashing out project proposals), which will culminate by a pool party this evening hosted by aforementioned senior scientist (who’s actually really renowned in his field, so the fact that it’s a pool party is delightfully surreal).

    Also, tomorrow, my fiancee and I are going thrifting with another queer/genderfluid friend of mine, and on Sunday another trans lesbian and I are going to be really stereotypical and have brunch together.

    • ngl brunch with trans women is like, the best thing in the world

      I’m glad you’re having a good week! have fun at your science pool party!!

  20. My biggest fear is Crane Flies (we Brits call them “daddy long legs” but you call those weird spiders that, which brings me to Flula Borg on YouTube describing them) I am a chill soft butch and basically my friends think it’s HILARIOUS when my voice goes up two octaves and I freak out as they fly at me. I had to get my b-fri to murder one with a flip flop yesterday. She was laughing at me the whole time. When I was a kid I once had one get stuck in my hair, and I didn’t know it was there, and I grabbed it as I ran my fingers through to push my hair off my face… *dry heave* I also once climbed over my passenger and out of the window of my parked car to escape one. Late August is a struggle.
    Any way.
    Flying – I’m flying to Canada on Monday morning and I’m afraid I’ll get a pressure headache because sometimes that happens when I fly. Plus I’ve never left Europe so eeeek. But yeah in order to prep for the holiday I’ve waited for my whole life I got my hair cut – guys I’ve found a lesbian barber, turns out she’s been cutting my Dad’s hair for 20 years, and she gets my haircut perfectly. I am so happy right now.
    Have amazing weekends folks.

      • Yorkshire, and yes you are so right, I will be going back forever. She did missus’ hair too. It only cost £10 each. Honestly my Dad has been nagging me to go to her since my old hairdresser went on maternity, and I started going to a local barber, should’ve listened sooner.

  21. I didn’t know that Vin Diesel video existed. It improved my day significantly and I was already having an okay day!

  22. @meyrude Thanks for hosting FOT this week! The music I love and listen to all the time generally doesn’t fall into the pop category, so moderate fail on that end of things. However, I can say that a pop song/video that changed/shaped my tiny person self was Aha’s Take on Me. It simultaneously inspired me to draw more, make more music and eventually get a motorcycle. (sadly, i no longer have a motorcycle, oh well.)


    One of my favorite all time youtube videos has to be from these amazing kids, Los Gauchos de Acero. They are from Argentina, and are now grown and still making great Argentinian metal. Many of their videos are great, but my favorite is their first one, where their little sister lip syncs and head bangs and they have a pikachu on one of the mic stands. My second fave vid of theirs is when they performed on the Argentinian equivalent of Who’s Got Talent, partly because their performance is great, but mostly because their parents are beyond adorable.



    So far as major fears/phobias, i guess i lucked out in not having any major ones. I spend a lot of time alone, and in the woods, so fortunately I don’t let my imagination get too carried away with that, but sometimes its more of a concerted effort than others.

    This weekend I’m running a night race, which I’m excited about. I need a little redemption in the desert after my navigational errors/failure to finish my last race a couple weeks ago. It should be a lot of fun.
    Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

  23. Yespls queer women reccing Youtubes! I always want more Youtube recs, but random ones from the Internet by ppl with whom I’ve nothing in common are often full of terrible things.

    Anyway, it’s been a while since I’ve rewatched now, so I am reccing Swedish queers reacting to parliamentary terribleness by releasing a beautiful queer anarcho-feminist reworking of Total Eclipse of the Heart, and that doesn’t begin to do it justice:

    (See also their Moralists’ Instruction Musical.)

    • oh
      this is incredible, this is definitely moving into my top ten favorite youtube videos ever

      • Yesss! :D So please it is appreciated. As I say, if loving this you also have to watch this delight:

        (Yes, that is them having the largest bloc at Gothenburg pride. That vid’s the song from a longer piece that’s on their site, and the song’s the best part but if you want to watch the whole thing it’s also on their account there)

      • “You say nature has created us as woman and man, and we should heterosexually desire each other. But heteroman, yr arguments fall light as leaves, ’cause yr g-spot is in yr ass” oh, darlings.

    • It’s like I’ve watched that Peaches video, but it’s a purposeful political protest.
      The fern wings, the Reagan era dress, the group dance so many things visually then politically.
      Ist wunderbar.

  24. Hmm, sort of don’t actively do music anymore. Accidentally have the radio on periodically…

    Fear: Existential–What if all this effort is meaningless? Pretty sure it’s not. But still…

    Concrete–What if I repeat all my mistakes forever? (progress/success would be only repeating some of them) In more realistic outcomes, what if I end up miserable and unable to manage life in such a way that I am able contribute something useful to society/community? “Something” is pretty broad, people, not a traditional indicator of success. Time/energy/ideas are as valuable as career/money.

    In general, have been good weeks recently. Work, life, etc all working out. There are green growing things, a little bit of sun here and there…

  25. I’m at work, so I don’t really have the time or opportunity to post anything until tomorrow, however,the Muppet and Sesame Street videos give me life.
    (Those and cheesy fanvids)
    Do yourselves the favor and check out a video montage of Miss Piggy’s “Fuck the Pain Away” which someone did for a school project, or if you are in sore need for a picker upper, check out Feist being a guest on Sesame Street, or Julie Andrew singing “The lonely goat herd” with a few muppets, or Norah Jones guesting, or whoever really.
    I highly recommend the muppet Star Wars Cookie thing as well.

  26. Oh, I forgot to answer the question about fears! Honestly, I’ve recently come to realize I have a pretty crippling fear of being rendered powerless and helpless. I think it stems from some childhood trauma (I was recently diagnosed with PTSD- which really explains a lot of my reactions to certain things), but I’m still trying to fully understand the workings of it. The good news I’ll be starting EMDR next week to help resolve the PTSD, which will hopefully make it a lot easier to deal with.

  27. “Faking It” has been canceled. I feel two ways about that. I like Rita and Katie’s chemistry together, but I’m through with Carter Covington’s worship of Liam. Anybody else?

    • What really? A bit of me is sad about this, but I think it’s probably saving us from ourselves. It was a terrible but fun trashy premise, and now it’s just terrible but without really much of the trashy fun.

  28. I am wildly afraid of snakes. Those snake memes that are going around that are like “sneaky snek” and “snoot primed for boop” are awful because they are so cute! But then I get emails about how people in my area are finding rattlesnakes in their yards and I am terrified! Ugh, snakes.

    More frivolously, I am currently very afraid that Grey’s Anatomy is getting ready to kill off Callie.

    • On an outside level, I don’t want to believe that Grey’s and Shonda would do that, but within the story? I am so scared for her.

  29. A week from hell (probably this sounds a bit melodramatic, I know). I’m trying to give up smoking because the last price increase, about %60, is killing my finances. Yes, I know this would be a lot better for my health, but I’M DYING HERE!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!

      • The only help I have besides solidarity is that I heard that it’s easier to quit an old habit if you simultaneously start a new habit. It can be anything you like! Maybe treat yourself to a cool app to mess around with?

    • Can’t help you. I got a kidney stone once, still drink several Mt. Dew a day.

    • i wasn’t a heavy smoker but what really helped me was swapping out smoking cravings with tea…like every time I wanted one I would go make tea and then drink that…also ending the car ritual of smoking on the way to and from somewhere I would get coffee in the morning or make coffee to have in the car so I’m still doing something

      i also recommend doing something with your hands maybe knitting or doodling or embroidery or something else crafty to keep your hands busy

      also maybe gum? it’s not the same so i’m pretty hesitant to recommend that because the main reason i smoked was because of oral fixation and gum did not satisfy that as well as a cigarette…i also drank a lot of liquids with straws and that helped better than gum especially if you chew on the straw a lil i dunno maybe this will help a lil bit

  30. Here’s the first seven minutes of season two of “Scream”. It looks like Audrey still likes the ladies.
    (I’m going to try linking this)


    I’m a Millennial Stereotype. I don’t listen to full albums, just individual songs. I rarely know anything about specific artists beyond the two or three songs of theirs that I like.

    Sufjan Stevens is an exception to this rule because, again, Millennial Stereotype.

    My greatest fears are
    1. Dying
    2. That when I die, my headstone will read a more generalized version of what all my high-school report cards read: “a pleasure to have on earth! Didn’t work up to potential”
    3. Earthquakes and tsunamis

  32. I’ll share my phobia with this short story: one time when I was 7 or 8 I saw what I thought was a little patch of moss growing on the side of our house in Portland (Pdx has a lot of moss, ok?). It was eye-level and I kept staring at it, my nose getting closer and closer. For some reason I decided to gently blow on it, and HAHAHAHAH it was actually a nest of baby jumping spiders. They went everywhere; I took off running, screaming all the way.

    To this day, seeing anything that forms a tightly packed group of round objects wigs me out: packed gravel, a pile of beads in a bowl, I don’t get too close. Heh. I do like spiders one at a time, but in a group, it’s a whole buncha nope.

    • Also, swimming in deep or murky water freaks me out, because my imagination conjures up Bitey the Seal (oceans) or Slimey the Eel (lakes) or Pinchey the Crab (all of the above) as inevitably sneaking up on me because I can’t see them. Gah.

  33. Happy Friday everyone!!! I was feeling a little sad earlier so all I could watch was videos of babies and puppies who are best friends:

    But then I went for a run and came back and ate avocado toast and now I feel so much better! My worst fear used to be bees and wasps but then I got stung by one and it wasn’t that bad so I got over it. I am still afraid of large dogs who jump up on me and/or bark loudly at me!

  34. i think all of you should know that as i write this my neighbour is listening to DMX really loudly and it is just…so amazing how many of the words i still know

    my favorite video isn’t on youtube(well it is but it’s someone filming it on their damn TV) so here is in on fb
    it makes me laugh every time i don’t know if it makes sense if y’all have never seen Real Housewives of Atlanta but it gets me every time

    Mey I love the Paparazzi video as well as the song, I really liked earlier Gaga…but then also her performance at the Oscars made me cry which is like…v hard to do(things that get me: Black Beauty[the book], Homeward Bound[y’all have to know the part if you’ve seen it], Marley and Me, that one part in the live action Grinch movie)…i don’t think she’s pop exactly but I fricking love Melanie Martinez and her videos are so good I just watched pity party the other night

    I’m afraid of flying too but only take off because I watched Final Destination when I was really too young for it to not give me nightmares and now I’m afraid of takeoff…I’m also afraid of spiders I currently have a towel stuffed under the door because my roommate said she saw a huge spider, and also I’m afraid of spiders crawling on me in my sleep

    My week has been a mix of good and bad. Good: I got a full time job! so i get to have one job instead of two!! I got to put in my two weeks notice at the job I was starting to hate because the owner is really a bad person and also they sometimes talked to me like a child which I really hate&I’ll have to move closer to my job
    Bad: I had to put my two weeks in at my retail job that I really liked, i have to wait until my trial period at new job is over before i seek out new housing because I don’t want to move and not have a job near where I live anymore, my roommate was supposed to clean the whole house before her guest got here and we’re having a cookout for my roommate’s birthday but she barely cleaned and now I think she expects people to walk through my personal space to use the bathroom&I’m not about it especially because men will be around and my dog hates men so they definitely cannot at all go in my room

    also really bad: my mom tried to tell me she was calling me ‘girl’ because she’s referring to me as what i am “biologically” because I finally stood up for myself and told her I didn’t like that she kept misgendering me
    &then she rapidly backpedaled and tried to say it was “a term of endearment” and I told her i didn’t care I don’t like it and it’s misgendering me and she kept insisting she’d keep calling me that because it’s “what [she’s] comfortable with” and i was just like?!?!?! why are you arguing with me when I’m telling you to stop calling me that?!?!? then she listed gender neutral terms of endearment when trying to defend calling me girl and I was like “ok but you literally listed alternatives how is this hard?!?!” and she decided to be like “well if it makes you upset I’ll just call you Faith” like honestly?!?!?! then in the same argument she made a point to point out that she thinks my gender is my choice?!?!? and then also that my sister’s sexuality is a choice?!?!? but actual minutes before was like “ok cool be safe at camp!” when I told her I’m going to A-camp?!?! so?? she also insisted to have an address and phone number in case of emergency and Y’ALL IM 25 YEARS OLD IM TIRED OF DEALING WITH THIS GARBAGE WHY CANT THIS LADY ACCEPT SHE HAD TWO GAY ASS CHILDREN AND MOVE ON WITH HER LIFE

    anyway part #34985039 of me having to come to terms with potentially cutting her out of my life

    but, focusing on the positive, my new job is gonna be amazing and I’m so excited to start and eventually not be broke and have *gasp* savings and potentially live on my own if they decide to keep me on and i’ll have benefits too! also i’m really excited for camp despite being really nervous but getting to know my cabinmates has been p tight and I love nerding with fellow nerds so it’s great

  35. My most recentish favorites

    An interpretation of Anaconda in ASL

    but y’all just look at all the videos that user has made, if Anaconda ain’t your style she’s got Sia and Mary Lambert interpretations. It’s just like whoaaa holy shit awesome.

    Shoot and Run- Josef Salvat


    because of Natasha Romanoff Black Widow and possible patriarchal violence parable reasons

    Last Man Standing- Hammerfall with footage from Elder Scrolls trailers (warning violence)
    once I start watching this thing I cannot stop, I can pause but I can’t stop watching it until it’s done.

    Fan trailer for a Black Widow film

    because I have Black Widow feelings and that Russian lullaby in the beginning is fucking perfect. It is just as hair raisingly creepy as it feels when you eventually look up the lyics. There is a better composite edit fan trailer but it doesn’t include the ballerina stuff and I’m harlot for the ballerina stuff.

    Charli XCX – Vroom Vroom


    it’s the gad dang latex y’all it draws me in like termite to the light

    I have one other I want to add but I’m afraid it’ll get reported for nudity and I won’t get to watch it anymore because I don’t have a youtube account
    Someone once described it as “Witch House” or cybernetic witch music if that interests you I’ll pm a link on request.

    This is a vimeo video, someone did upload it on to youtube but it looks so awful

    [vimeo 113142476 w=640 h=360]
    CINEMA SPACE TRIBUTE from Max Shishkin on Vimeo.

    It has a bunch of stuff in the ebed code so I don’t know if it’ll be okay.
    Here’s a link

    The reason I went with this one is because it used to tap into(trigger?) my fear that the desire for nothingness will come back with more force, that I will stop raging against the dying light and willingly let the abyss swallow me whole. That nothingness will become more beautiful than life.
    I used to really really love the concept of nothing after death, kind of idolised Paulie and what to my screwed up mind was her courage in embracing death and accepting the peace of nothingness.

    Something about that video be it the outer space stuff or the poem with the music just ughhhh yarghg no. But in true “I’m not right, my coping skills are fucked up” fashion I watched until it stopped making me feel like a freak out was gunnna happen.
    What’s the difference between self directed exposure therapy and just plan self flagellation? Heck if I know.

  36. I’m afraid of fires that burn down houses. Like whenever I see news reports of wildfires or house fires, it just breaks my heart for the environment and the people that get displaced. It always make me go over the list of what would I grab, how much could I take with me if something were to happen. A few years ago a wildfire was getting near my parents house and it really really scared me, not being able to be there and not knowing if I forgot something important that they needed to get. It was all fine, but made i fear worse.
    I’m really excited for camp! I can’t believe it is sooo soon! I have so much left to do for school beforehand though. I’m trying to get most of my finals done or at least started before going so that when I get back and its finals week, I’m not floundering in assignments. I also still haven’t exactly told my professors I’ll be gone yet and I should do that soon.

  37. Also @meyrude belated but:

    I used to get night terrors as a kid, and they were almost always about large size discrepancies / differences.

    Like, the type of thing that freaks people out when they’re on shrooms, except I was like 8 and asleep.

    One that stands out in my memory was a dream about a penny next to a blue whale. The penny was SO SMALL / the whale was SO VERY BIG.

    It was extremely upsetting is all I’m saying

  38. Sharing one of my all time favourites because I just realised it might have modern relevance


    compare this styling of Nicki Minaj to that of La Camilla in her Massive Luxury Overdose days and beyond. She’s like Swedish pop precursor in spirit of the excellence we have now.
    But instead of booty the emphasis is her flower which was just too risque for American tv market back in 1991.
    As well as the group’s name Army of Lovers which is a reference to the Sacred Band of Thebes. A big gay band of Battle Couples that kicked Sparta’s ass a couple times fyi.

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