FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: What are You Watching?

Hello, cream puffs! Welcome to this week’s Friday Open Thread, in which we make ice cream sandwiches and eat them on boardwalks. JK! It’s our weekly space to commune, bitch, share secrets, and drop pieces of juicy gossip. Oh, and to post pet photos. Post a fucking pet photo, bitches.

2012-06-02 13.18.36

This week, I did something weird. See, normally I log into Netflix and surf straight to Frasier and never look back, or I watch The Birdcage because I want to feel fabulous or Somewhere because I wanna cry. But this week, something came over me and I clicked “Play” on Gilmore Girls and I probably should have seen it as a call for help, but I didn’t, and now, here I am.

amy-leaving-show

I’ve gotta admit — growing up, I did not watch this show. I vehemently did not watch this show. But isn’t that what Netflix is for? I’m supposed to watch new things, and make a list of them, and spend time doing something besides laughing in advance of the laugh track on That 70’s Show because I already know the entire plot. But I can’t just find hidden gems all by myself. I NEED HELP, GUYS.

70lkotty

 

So tell me, y’all: what are you watching this weekend? What’s the show you’re hooked on right now? Or, I guess, what shows used to give you life? (I’m down to watch The Golden Girls again and again, so feel free to suggest it.) It’s okay if you, unlike me, watch actual television in real time and come here to talk Scandal or How to Get Away with Murder. It’s okay if you, like me, have been watching the Words With Girls pilot over and over again. It’s also okay if you don’t like television or movies or fun at all and you’re just coming here to tell me about your amazing first date, the adorable outfit you wore to work this week, or the Halloween costume you bought your pets. Really, it’s okay as long as you comment on this post, preferably with a photo included of you and/or a fuzzy beast, and it’s even better if you comment in response to someone else because I think, on the whole, that sometimes we forget the importance of human connection when we lock ourselves in our rooms to watch — nevermind.

Tell me what you’re watching! I’ll be around to post photos of Eli and respond to you lovingly once I get back from Stars Hollow.


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Carmen is the Digital Editor at Ms. , Managing Editor at Argot, a Contributor at Everyday Feminism, and Co-Host of The Bossy Show. She previously served as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor, and Social Media Co-Director at Autostraddle. You can find her on Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 926 articles for us.

392 Comments

  1. This week I was taking out my billions of cider bottles to the recycle bin, when a red haired lady-type in a Lavender Cardigan asked me for directions(to a close place, I was able to help) and this exchange occurred:

    Lavender Cardigan: “Wow, that’s a lot of bottles, [Very close apartment complex] is over there, right?”

    Recycling Hero: “Yup, right over there” oh man, that was an embarrassing reference to my drinking habits.

    Lavender Cardigan: oh man, I just embarrassingly referenced a kind strangers drinking habits, better recover. “I like your hair, it’s cute”

    Recycling Hero: My hair looks pretty red in the sun, but also like I dye it that color, and I have never, ever dyed it. I think Lavender Cardigan is referencing our shared color choice, a choice that we do not have in common. But I can’t just respond to that with ‘I don’t dye my hair’ or I’ll sound super crazy.

    Recycling Hero: “Thanks.”

    Parking lot etiquette. Simple stuff.

  2. I took to Youtube to look up some PSAs from my childhood and came a cross this gem- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AuLkMBAFZg any other Canadian queers remember this? A co-worker and I had a good laugh and both wondered how we were not terrified when we were younger. I was trying to look for the drugs drugs drugs one with the puppets but had no such luck. 🙁

    I do plan on watching Chelsea Handler’s One hour special that is on Netflix and maybe some Gilmore Girls.

  3. This week I decided to start watching Carmilla and it’s grand. Also I recently caught up on the fourth season of Pretty Little Liars (a show I hadn’t watched in over a year). I was wondering if anyone has any recommendations for good movies or tv shows to binge watch on Netflix? I feel like having a movie night. Preferably something that’s queer, a psychological thriller, a drama, sci-fi, or action. Or a combination!

    Today I held the first meeting for the school newspaper I’m starting, which was both exciting and nerve-wracking. I’ve also starting applying for scholarships and it is stressful.
    Plus there’s this really cute, probably-straight girl I have a huge crush on. She’s way out of my league though and we hardly talk. I’m considering just being really blunt and forward with it and telling her I want to get to know her better, since I mean, I could die tomorrow and I don’t want to live with regrets. But I also don’t want to make an idiot of myself.

    Also I tend to only comment on Carmen’s FOTs because it was the first article I ever commented on and because of that I feel a weird connection/level of safety with Carmen. Idk man.

  4. I have been waiting for Friday Open Thread forevs (FOREVS, I tell you), because this week Henry and I had a selfie photoshoot for the cover of the country music album we do not have, and guys, he did a REALLY GOOD JOB posing:

    Also, Lorelai Gilmore gives me life.

    Double also I will be spending this weekend watching My Mad Fat Diary and keeping track of how many times it makes me cry vs. how many times it makes me laugh because I Just. Don’t. Know.

    OH. AND. Tomorrow I am going out dancing with my BFF for the first time in months because my chronic back pain has subsided to the point where I can finally move around without wanting to die so obviously dancing is where I should begin.

    Yay! Life!

  5. I’m not watching too much of anything these days. My life has uncharacteristically become hectic. School is a pain in the ass, Sallie Mae keeps bugging me, my relationship is getting kinda serious now (which is weird because we’ve both been lax about it until this point), and I’m starting to get the hang of this adult thing.

    I have been watching Carmilla which is adorable as all hell.

    I’ve also been having a lot of great sex. Consistently. That may have something to do with my optimistic disposition as of late

  6. No pets, but I’ve definitely been watching that Words With Girls pilot on repeat. Also Brittani got me hooked on Carmilla.

    Hmm…what happened this week in my life. Well, I got my A+ membership. That’s exciting. Other than that this has been a fairly average week. I continue to have unnecessarily complicated relationships with girls and stress about playing a flirtatious man in an upcoming musical. (I am neither flirtatious nor a man, so the role is doubly challenging, and also the girl I have to make out with onstage carries some traditionally conservative values about certain things so we’ll see how that goes.) Also I have my first historiographic essay for a college class due in less than a week and I’m…um…not done with my first draft. Gotta get on that.

    Oh! Also I’m really stuck on what I want to be for Halloween this year, so if anyone has any ideas, hit me up. I’m open to pretty much anything.

    • I am so glad I am not the only person who doesn’t have any costume ideas yet! I live in a college town, where lots of people go super all out for Halloween (like, last year my group met a R2D2 princess?) but I am older and overworked and mostly just want to still be able to get drunk on a Friday night this year. darn kids.

      My suggestion is get a group and go as the cast of Carmilla? this would be my plan if I had been at all successful at getting my friends to watch Carmilla. it is my greatest failure.

    • Last year I went as a bat and it was really easy- I glued two pinecones (you could also use cardboard triangles) to a headband for ears and cut some zigzaggy bat wing shapes out of spme black trash bags and pinned them to the arms of a dark colored sweater. I think in general simplified animal costumes read really well. Me, I’m going as the moon.

      • Ooh I like the bat idea! I’m horrible at thinking of Halloween costumes. Can we have an Autostraddle open thread where everyone who is naturally gifted at thinking of costumes lists all their ideas/past costumes? Then everyone like me who usually draws a pumpkin face on a t-shirt the afternoon of October 31 can actually plan ahead!

  7. You may only read this comment if you promise not to mock me. Please and thanxxxx

    all da shows I’ve been watching:

    -New Girl (Cece <3)
    -United States of Tara (almost done with the series and thank God because it depresses the shit out of me but it's still so addictive)
    -Bob's Burgers (fave fave fave fave)
    -Faking It (because why not)

    ————————————–
    In other news…BLAH
    back on my antidepressants…and my sex drive is about -1000
    and my internalized homophobia is wreaking havoc on my brain
    I need a friggin hug y'all
    oh and ps I wanna go back to school but I'm terrified

    HALP

    • Hugs! Hmm I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but you should watch Skins season 3 on Netflix if you have time. There’s a cute lesbian couple that develops, I can’t say for sure if it will help with the internalized homophobia, but I feel like it will plus it’s a great season, so there’s no lose in this situation.
      Also I LOVE Bob’s Burgers. So happy it’s back.

    • *hugs*

      I am also watching Faking It (against my better judgement, maybe)
      –> I never got to be a queer teenager, due to closets within closets of internalized homophobia, so maybe it’s a little bit of living vicariously.

      I second Carmen’s BEING GAY IS GREAT, but I know how hard that is to remember that sometimes when my brain decides otherwise :/

      Hang in there.

      *hugs*

    • Hey! I like Bob’s Burgers. You like Bob’s Burgers. Let’s be friends. 🙂

      When I started anti-depressants the idea of a sex drive was comical. I was all, “Hey, self, look, it’s a rock. That rock could be sexy. But there’s no way to know.” It gets a lot better. This is a temporary state of being. Think of it as a reprieve from social and self-constructed pressure. And time to decide what it is about being gay that you hate. Because I went through the same thing when I had no sex drive. I thought that maybe liking women was some sort of personality disorder, that I am actually mentally ill and not able to accept being heterosexual because . Anyway, just know you’re not alone. And FYI, rocks are not sexy. If you wanna check for other things, shoot me a message, I’ll let ya know.

    • 1. I love new girl its so dumb but I can’t help it YOU ARE NOT ALONE

      2.

      3. You got this! And until you feel that yourself, you’ve got us and all the people that love you in rls, which I’m sure is like a fuckton of people. <3

  8. This week I disappeared down the YouTube rabbit hole because I was preparing a class about unusual sports, decided I maybe wanted to use something different from the Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling clip I usually use when I’m teaching this topic, googled ‘ridiculous sports’, found lists on Buzzfeed and the like, learned that the UK has produced quite a lot of odd activities, watched a bunch of videos, ended up using the cheese rolling video anyway because it’s always a great favourite with my students. (This time was no exception, they love the cheese thing.)

    When I delivered the class, I asked my (Basque/Spanish) students to tell me about some unusual sports from this area and they spent a good five minutes trying to explain something that involved cows and cow poo. I have no idea what they were trying to tell me about.

  9. I have been a late arrival in rosewood and have just finished season of PLL. I am totally enjoying the endless questions it asks and never answers!! Until I can find season 5 I am relying on AS recaps which are almost better than the eps themselves!
    Also watching the videos you and AS crew made! 🙂

  10. I finally have gotten into orphan black! Just finished watching transparent… which is an amazing show btw. This week has been awesome, bought tickets to see tegan and Sara for the wife’s biirrrfdddday and paid all them billllls! Rocking adult life at the moment 🙂

  11. I’ll start with my cat being her adorable self

    iknowright?!

    So… my week…my best friend’s partner broke up with him, and three days later my BFF attempted suicide. The BFF is not in contact with his biological family because reasons and so I have been the person staying at the ER through the night and talking to doctors and trying to manage the ex’s role in all this (he still cares but doesn’t think it’s good for him to be the main point person and I agree) and planning for when the BFF gets out of the psych hospital.

    And it’s kind of a lot.

    And I know, folks I KNOW that it’s not about me it’s about him and I want to support him through this and through his recovery in the weeks/months/years to come.
    But I also… have a lot of feelings about all of this.

    So that’s been my week. Hope yours have been better than mine.

    • Christ. I am so sorry. Do you have support for yourself? Can you get support for yourself? Yes, it is about him, but you’re you, so by definition it’s about you too. Is there anyone else who can help with the doctor-wrangling, ex-managing, support-system-building? Anyone in your family? Mutual friends? Random acquaintances who happen to know a lot about mental health?

      Best of luck in the coming days. *internet hugs*

      • Our other best friend will be back in town in a few days and I won’t have to do it completely alone anymore. Which will be great. I also spent a while this afternoon looking into finding a counselor for myself so I can keep my head screwed on gayly forward. And I’m lucky to have a few good friends that are being awesome. So I’m not without support. Just…still in shock/overwhelmed mode.
        *internet hugs back*
        Thanks!! I know I need to take care of myself too, but it’s still really nice and affirming to have other people remind me that its ok to do that.

    • Wow, the picture of your cat allowed for like negative points of foreshadowing on that one. Holy shit!! Your BFF attempting suicide is about him. You dealing with it is about YOU! And you absolutely must think of yourself if you’re going to help him. It is so hard to work through something like that alone, even for a couple days. Here is the number for the National Mental Health Association, 1-800-969-6642, and here is the local crisis line for Chicago (I creeped you to get a local number – hope it’s not intrusive, it’s on your AS profile 🙂 ) 1-800-248-7475. Also, this exists: https://www.dhs.state.il.us/page.aspx?item=30893

      Helping a friend survive a suicide attempt brings up all kinds of feelings of relief and thankfulness and resentment that are not always in that order, nor are they going to happen when it’s convenient. Call and talk to somebody who’s not biased. Or come back here. Good luck!

  12. Holy shit, Gilmore Girls. I have been watching so so so much Gilmore Girls since it went up on Netflix. or, like, as much as is possible given that I am employed full time. also I remembered this week that despite taking zero classes this semester, I AM still a full time student and my comprehensive oral exams are in three and a half months and I haven’t started studying for ALL THE PHYSICS yet whoops. But instead of studying/writing for that, I have instead been watching a lot of Gilmore Girls. hooray for avoiding responsibilities!

    I’ve also been trying to catch up on Arrow (where by catch up I mean I’m in earlyish season 2 now….) but it’s super difficult because I just DO NOT CARE about any of the dudes on that show like at all. Arrow and Gotham are both really just reminding me that all I want is a Birds of Prey show (but a LOOOOT better than that old one) or maybe a Batwoman show? Or a triple-header night with Birds of Prey/Batwoman/Renee Montoya shows all in a row. That is what I want.

  13. I’ve been listening to (not really watching) ASMR videos and playing spider solitaire all week because that’s basically all that my brain can handle, given that recently I’ve been cycling between “I am in so much pain that I can barely stand up” and “I am so f***ing high from my meds that I can do absolutely anything!!! as long as it doesn’t involve an attention span of more than ten seconds…” Seriously, when you don’t have the concentration to watch an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the 9,000th time, you know you’re in trouble.

    No pets, as of today — I finally got rid of a snake that’s been causing an unbelievable amount of trouble in my life. But this week I did have close encounters with both a pony and a badger, in the “wild”, and I’m fairly certain at most one was a hallucination, so that was pretty great.

  14. I watched all of Carmilla Tuesday night, then got into the swing of watching it regularly on Thursday. I’m loving all the gayness and the pop culture references (of course Laura’s seen Veronica Mars) and the gayness and how all the girls are totally adorable.

    I am about to go down the rabbit hole of moving, which, bleh, but I’m excited because I’m moving into a place that is both more awesome and cheaper. Yay!

  15. i havent really been watching much apart from faking it which im completely hooked on despite the fact it’s terrible
    also its currently 10.30pm and i just woke up from a 3 and a half hour nap so ive made a slight mistake there

  16. I’ve been binging New Girl for about a week now and have watched an insane number considering how much I worked last week. Also I watched the documentary on Laura Jane Grace today in preparation for the Against Me! Show I’m seeing later. Soooooo stoked.

  17. well this week i came home from travelling southeast asia, instantly regretted coming home from travelling southeast asia but then decided to make the best out of it and so i ate a lot of cheese. like, really a lot.

    me and my roomie also watched ‘super’ tonight, which is super funny and underrated and ellen page’s in it! (kevin bacon is in it too, but he’s not dancing so .. meh)

  18. Gilmore Girls is MY show, definitely my favorite ever. Started watching around the 5th season when I was 13 and it kept me company through high school, and I’m still rewatching it now in my 20’s. I have all the DVD’s but some of them don’t work anymore… so I’ve been making liberal use of it now being on netflix.

    Otherwise… My birthday was this week! But it was my first just bad, nothing-went-right birthday so I’m still a little sad about that. Boyfriend and family drama is at a high right now and midterms are next week. I’m trying to be nice to myself while still being productive and attempting not to cry on the subway or in class. But I think everything will be okay.

  19. This week I’ve watched a lot of Orphan Black, because I am shamelessly addicted to it. I have also been recovering from having knee/leg surgery two weeks ago (and then dancing on it last weekend at my cousin’s wedding, because it was either dance or freeze to death, since we were outside).

    I also had a dream this week that I was drowning in a sea of heterosexuality. No, seriously. It was literally called “the Sea of Heterosexuality.” It could’ve been the vicodin, or it could be my brain’s way of telling me that I need more gay friends…or both.

  20. Hey. Hey, everyone – You can come get gay married in North Carolina! It’s a thing! I didn’t think it would be a thing here for a very long time, but it’s a thing!

    I haven’t read anything at all in this post, because I was way too excited about this news. I’ll read and be back shortly.

  21. Heyyyyyy!!! Its Friday!!! Im making this comment from work. Ssshh!!!! I get paid to autostraddle. Sunday is the 12th!! ITS WALKING DEAD SEASON 5!!!! When I first started watching on netflix I thought it was hyped up but I really have come to like the story which is really saying something because I dont watch ANY horror or scary things. But the story has grown on me and the every week episode is more bearable than 3 seasons in one go.

  22. I am watching Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated because there is a moment where Fred falls to his knees and wails, “Why must I feeeeeeeeel?” and no other moment in television history has ever gotten me so well. Also because my head meds are being adjusted and my focus is pretty much zilch, so anything that requires/I want to pay attention to is gonna have to wait until the chances of me staring at the wall for twenty minutes have gone down.

    This week was actually kind of terrible with a trip to the ER due to my wife have a bad medication reaction. Bonuses include a paramedic judging the amount of psychiatric meds we take (fuck you, broheim, sorry we had traumatic childhoods and bad brain chemistry??), another paramedic insisting she was just drunk and lying about it because apparently the mentally ill fucking convulse when drunk, and a the nursing staff referring to me as her friend and wanting to fucking see our civil union license until a doctor gave her the side eye.

    THIS WEEK HAS BLOWN, I’M GONNA DRINK APPLE ALE AND PAINT MY NAILS FOR THE NEXT TWO DAYS.

  23. Today is a great day because I am now an A+ member!!! Yay fiscal responsibility! Yay paychecks! YAY!!!

    Anywho, I’ve just finished all the seasons of PLL (Shay Mitchell is my future ex-wife, don’t fight me on this), watched all of Carmilla in a single night and kinda started watching Transparent but wasn’t quite into it? But will probably still watch it? Idk, gotta think about it.

    In non-television news, I also just got word today that my current teaching gig has been renewed for another 6 weeks!! There was a worry about this because enrollment was low, but a parent wrote the SWEETEST letter to the school board people in charge about how much her daughter loves the program and the teacher (me! That’s me! Holy hell.) and how she hopes they extend/continue and apparently she was not the only one that felt this way, as other parents sent emails and such that I haven’t seen yet, but the one did make me cry, so I’m pretty sure I can’t handle them all.

    And this is Pooch: she’s 17 and she judges everyone.

  24. The last two Fridays I have been a terrible open thread non-commentor bc my gf and I were on our super amazing 9 day 5000+km East Coast roadtrip that was amazing/perfect/the greatest and I am really not ready to do real life again, seriously, this week was just like “ugh work what is this do I have to do this again? Can’t I go back to doing that oher thing??”

    But rn we are sitting on the train bound for Toronto to go see Mary Lambert sing at us so real life can suck it!! Amazing concerts ftw! I have waterproof mascara and kleenex, I am armed for feels!!

  25. firstly and most importantly: http://mashable.com/2014/10/09/dogspotting/

    Dogspotting is a simple sport. To play, you must spot (i.e., see) an unknown dog (no pets, neighbors’ pets or otherwise known dogs) and report that spot to the group. Photographs are entirely optional, so as not to discriminate against those without cameras.

    Based on a series of rules, your spot is then given points. If the dog spots you spotting it, all points go to the dog. If the dog is acting violently, points are subtracted from your total. It’s simple Dogspotting, guys — get on board.

    this sounds hilarious and delightful and why isn’t there an autostraddle group for it? (is there an autostraddle group for it? i didn’t actually check.)

    in other news, i am having a much better week than i’ve had in…months at the very least. i spent a really long time not taking good care of my mental health, and in the last couple years, i’ve been slowly inching my way toward being better about that. i’ve always been really resistant to the idea of medication in particular (and i tried one a couple years ago and it was awful so i was like “nope fuck that noise”), but i had a really hard summer and finally caved and let someone prescribe some stuff to me. just had a second one added recently. and like. y’all. i’m pretty sure sustaining a cheerful or even just stable mood isn’t supposed to feel weird. supposedly this whole stable thing is normal. on one level, i knew my brain wasn’t working right before, but at the same time, i really had no idea the state i was in until i let myself get help.

    tl;dr: i’m kinda happy-ish? and if you’re struggling, learn from me & don’t wait like 15 years before getting help. maybe a little sooner than that.

    sooo, yeah.

    also, i live in a mississippi university town, and both MS’s SEC schools are doing super well in football right now which means game day weekends (liiiike this one) are awful and my little town is super crowded. (but, go team(s)?) i plan to be a recluse and watch the shit out of some gilmore girls and fringe. i also plan to mourn the imminent lost of my sanity as the gilmore girls theme song won’t get out of my head.

    • Ugh. This time of year can be the worst if you don’t care about football. It’s like, come on people, there are things in life besides SEC football!

      But I’m happy for you that you’re feeling better, and enjoy Gilmore Girls!

      • yeah, i mean, i like football well enough, but the insanity surrounding it is way too much. plus, the one time i went to a mississippi state football game, i found the cowbells very annoying and beer got thrown and ended up on me. not my idea of a great time?

    • The idea of medication to calm my anxiety makes me anxious.

      Football is big here in Champaign-Urbana (central IL) as well. They have huge tailgates before the games that a lot of the straight/cis townsfolk go to. I did go one time, and it was fun, but I don’t really need it in my life. I just have to pay attention to the game schedule, or I’ll get stuck taking really bad detours.

      • I feel ya about the medication anxiety. I will say though, I never hit any magical point where I felt at ease about taking something. I just did it anyway. even yesterday taking one, I grimaced and sighed about it.

        it is really fucking nice to not burst into tears over every little thing though. and to realize that I’ve just casually left my house to do errands instead of spending three hours (or days) talking myself into doing a simple task. I wish I had let myself decide that it was worth trying a long time ago.

    • what I want to know is this: am I really the only person in the world amused by dogspotting? I love making things up, so the idea of giving people points for whatever silly thing pops into my head in response to a picture or description of a dog is super entertaining-sounding to me. silliness plus cute animals. can’t lose.

  26. Also, I really hope everyone got through their week with great hair still on!! =) I think I’ve started living for our Open Thread Fridays. Welcome to all the new A+ members also! Really hoping we get more people on board.

    Did I tell you guys that I’m irritated that sometimes just because people are older than you they expect you to bow down to them and always say they’re right? That is messed up. Or is it just me? ANYWAY!!!

    I miss camp, I really really do. I think and dream about that mountain all the time. <3 and KlubDeer. <3

    • Speaking from the perspective of a Clichéd Angsty Teenager, yes I agree with that middle paragraph. I am very often irritated when I am expected to bow down to people because they are older than me. I understand that I have much to learn in the ways of the world, and that respecting everyone is important, but that goes for people older than me too. We’re all humans going through life together so perhaps we could at least all hear each other’s perspectives on things, no matter a person’s age or anything else.

    • Wooo Friday Open Thread all weekend! lol

      Oh, and I totally get what you are saying. I respect everyone, and I do want to learn from others’ experience. It is valuable and why make the same mistakes as they did if you can avoid it.

      BUT. (can you tell that this has come up recently in my life yet?) The experiences for trans folks have changed pretty radically in the last couple decades. I don’t mind listening to stories of older transitioning women (that’s mainly who I interact with, all of the trans men I know are younger than I.) However, that narrative is unfortunately very familiar and very different from the current state of affairs. (Like I said, happy to listen, and happy to be supportive)

      My life is very different than that of these people who I feel have clung to their male privilege and still try to dominate a room because they feel that just being themselves makes them an authority figure. Don’t tell me how to live/transition.

      My struggles are very real to me, but they pale in comparison to the struggles of most trans people of color, or other people who may not be in my situation or location. I get that. And my struggles are vastly different from those of people ten years younger than me. I think things are getting better overall, but my advice may be completely irrelevant to some of these younger trans folks.

      Sorry, most of my issue with this stems from lacking assertiveness and not enforcing boundaries. I know what I need to do, I just have to do it.

      That got heated, tell me a story from camp? Pretty please?

    • hey @vinzzz27 i love and miss you AND klub deer, which is my life force, and thus, having it around once and not twice a year is a drain on said life force. dancing around for the ‘crazy in love’ video helped, but i’m still missing my mantle.

      • i less than 3 you @carmenrios KlubDeer5ever. you should have a mantle replicated like the one in Deer and take it home. LOL. Also next camp, I’ll be looking at LED signs that will say Grrrls Grrrls Grrrls

        If anyone here has listened to 8track playlists from Autostraddle, it magnifies your A-camp experience to have those same songs played at Deer and everyone else is going bananas. I’m telling you guys you have not lived if you have not heard Drake or Work by the 2 bears on the mountain.

  27. This week:
    Our book cupboards above the bed fell off and thankfully didn’t kill us because we were not there…we were in another room wondering what the noise was.
    Missus and I spent most of the week watching a show about the secret life of Cats on BBC 2. It was awesome! Cats + science! Also Great British Bake Off Final was a thing that happened. I’m stuck for good shows on British Netflix…any help?
    I realised I have NO TIME to do anything for my MA and looming deadlines… *sob*
    Night all.

    • OMG FELLOW BAKE OFF AFICIONADO

      I’ve been watching religiously with my Mum. This weekend I drove 90 mins home ESPECIALLY to watch the final together. And then I SOBBED through the whole episode whilst massaging my cat and using his fur to absorb all my tears. So pleased with the result!

      I have SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS SHOW.

      Also, a super-big crush on Sue. Have you watched her series, ‘Heading Out?’. You need to, like right now, if not. It’s a travesty that there’s only one season.

      • I have had a crush on Sue since she used to do the daytime shows with Mel, light lunch and late lunch when I was a kid. Heading out was amazing. I need there to be a series 2! Yes right result on bake off for sure. We had a weekly bake off watching date with missus’s best friend and on week one we collectively called it. Wasn’t sure for a bit in the middle but so glad at the end.

        • Worth trying to see her series somehow. She wrote it, it stars her as an awkward lesbian vet trying to come out to her family. It’s a comedy, quite silly but with ow my heart moments. I really liked it. Super gay.

  28. Okay y’all, this thread was the last straw. I finally started watching Gilmore Girls just now!!! So many pop culture references have been going over my head for years because I’ve never watched this show, and I’m excited to finally be in the loop. Everyone I know has been talking about it nonstop since it went up at the beginning of the month, and then Carmen mentioned it, and now here I am, one episode in and I love it.

    Anyway, I’m gonna try not to just watch Netflix all weekend and actually get out and do stuff, but it’s gonna be all cloudy and cold tomorrow, and really I just wanna lay around and watch Gilmore Girls with my gf.

    • the weather is definitely conspiring to make us watch at least until rory’s graduation from chilton, assuming she actually doesn’t leave chilton, which seems like a total hellhole.

      i’m deeply comforted that people find watching gilmore girls not the weirdest thing i’ve ever done with my life. thank you.

  29. I am currently watching Rescue Me. I am hooked despite its many, many grievous problems with the show. Gilmore Girls is on my next queue.

    I watched From the Sky Down, a U2 documentary the other week. That was pretty great.

    Monday is an appt with a breast surgeon on Monday to see if i need a biopsy for my “non-simple” cysts in my right breast.

    I want to drink all the bourbon this weekend because I think I am tired of working with toddlers, they drain my soul. But, at 33, i still don’t know what i want to be when I grow up, and the thought of looking for another job, let alone what type of job, sends me spinning. I’ve been at this company for 10 years.

  30. I’m going to gush about the cute girl I have a crush on(that I mentioned in an earlier comment) because I can tell her and all my friends are getting tired of me constantly going on about her, and the AS community will understand.

    She’s a huge feminist, she loves cats, she likes to read (and we have similar tastes in books), she likes cool music (like Arkells, Arctic Monkeys, Childish Gambino, etc.), she’s inteligent, I’m pretty sure she’s a vegan, she’s beautiful and adorable and super sweet and funny. Also she’s athletic and is on the swim team.

    Her eyes crinkle when she smiles really wide, and she’s got these light freckles on her cheekbones. She’s always dressed in a style I shall dub as “cozy-femme”, and she’s got these really cute glasses.

    She just makes me want to write foolish, clumsy poetry about the way I feel when we make eye contact.

    Do I sound creepy?i have this anxiety thing where I always feel like I come off as creepy to the girls I like but I really don’t mean to at all.

    • Not creepy. With the gushing thing… I’ve been there. So much. There was a particular girl all last year I couldn’t keep my mouth shut about around all my friends. Um. Maybe still can’t. But anyway, the girl you mention sounds lovely.

      Also, foolish, clumsy poetry…definitely been there. All I’m saying.

    • Ok I have had 2 beers so kind of tread a middle path with my advice. Hang there, I will try to moderate my “advice” myself.

      I get you on your crush feelings. It is kind of great to acknowledge that you have such a depth of feeling and hope towards someone else. But gauge your risk in opening these feelings to her. Do you actually know her or is she someone whom you have idolised without her relating to you?

      The challenge here is do you risk trying to get to know her better by way of something low key such as asking her out for coffee? Can you find out if she is queer before you ask her out for a coffee? Finding out if she is queer or not is often the toughest issue to address with grace and neutrality. Good luck however you decide to play this:):)

  31. I’m all about How To Get Away with murder right now. Day 1 of a break up and preparing myself for a serious TV binge. I just moved to DC so I feel like I should watch all of West Wing but I’m kinda feeling like it might be L Word, we shall see 🙂

  32. Today I was in a meeting for the Feminist Majority Foundation organizers on campus and I got an email and when I scrolled down loooook who it was from (inadvertently):

    I was like oh hey I know who Carmen is that’s neat/ it’s a small world.

    Also, I just started dating a really really really great girl and I’m super happy this week. 😀

  33. Okay so I had started this off differently but I decided to add this to the start instead. I just came out to my aunt! 🙂 I’ve been wanting to do this for months now and I’ve actually been planning on doing it for a couple weeks now. She responded SO amazingly, I started bawling my eyes out. I really didn’t think that she would be as supportive as she is, it makes me so happy.

    Okay, onto the next thing.

    I’m watching Faking It (although I did miss this weeks episode) other than that my life is fairly dedicated to school right now. I’m trying to figure out how to write college worthy papers. Papers that I’ve been putting off for a little longer than I probably should have.

    So this week a few things happened. I had my first date which was not exactly great but it wasn’t terrible either. I also got approved for my student loans which means I don’t have to worry about borrowing money from all of my family members anymore, score!

    On Tuesday I had an absolutely terrible day that just left me emotionally wrecked. Wednesday I woke up to a wonderful email from my very good friend that made me feel a million times better.

    Oh so I don’t have a recent picture of one of my fur babies but my sister sent me a picture of my niece a couple days ago.

    • I’m pretty sure your niece qualifies as a fur baby in that photo.
      She’s so cute!!

      Congratulations on coming out to your aunt; I’m mega pleased that she responded well.
      I know it can be such an insane feeling to worry more about coming out to certain family members or friends, and Jeez Louise is it ever the most beautiful rush when they are just so supportive when you weren’t expecting it!

      I am so happy for you <3

      Good luck with all your school jazz!

    • Also was this first date you mentioned your first date ever ever ever?
      That’s awesome!
      ‘Not great but not terrible either’ is a pretty decent outcome for a first ever date; congrats, and I promise it gets more fun!

      • Thanks she’s my favourite little fur baby haha, I’m so stoked to see her in a couple weeks.

        Thank you very much! I am so happy that she responded so well, my aunt is my very best friend and I was so worried. It really is a beautiful rush! Ugh I feel so much better now that I don’t have to keep it in and knowing that she’s still going to be there whenever I need her.

        Yes, it was my first date ever ever ever. I think it was a pretty decent outcome too considering I had just gotten out of a really heavy counseling session and was a complete mess inside haha. I’m not so good with carrying on conversations but it wasn’t too bad, I honestly think it wasn’t the best because we’re kind of opposites in a lot of ways and it was hard to find stuff to connect over.

        • I kept trying to like this comment like 10 times thinking I hadn’t done it yet.

          Good for you on all counts, and I hope that the difficult things in your life will be outweighed by the wonderful/awesome things. <3<3

  34. I’ve had a really good week!!! I’ve been super productive and in a good mood. It was only the second week of classes and I have lots of homework this term. Thankfully I’ve been really social and have hung out with friends quite a lot and still balancing school well. I just feel like I’m adulting well at the moment.
    I went to goodwill yesterday and found a Fried Green Tomatoes VHS for $1 so I’ll be watching that over and over now! With school my Netflix and show watching time has drastically dwindled. I need to catch up on The Daily Show, Colbert, Doctor Who, and Parenthood. Soon Grimm will start up and I’ll have to stay up on that as well. I watch Malcolm in the Middle ALL THE TIME as a kid and I’ve been rewatching it on Netflix lately. I’ve never seen Gilmore Girls but I kind of want to watch it now, I’m not sure.
    Tomorrow is a really exciting day for me. It’s Southern Oregon Pride and I’ve never been to any pride events so I’m excited. I’ve also been co-coordinating an interactive art activist piece for pride and I finally get to see it get put together tomorrow!!! Afterwards I’m making my amazing homemade pizza for my friends. I pride myself on my pizza and they’ve never had it so I can’t wait to see their reactions.

      • Yes!It is the best movie/book!!
        7.5 cups of 00 tipo flour in a bowl with 1 Tb salt (the flour type is really important)
        2.5 cups of warm water with 4.5tsp yeast 4Tb evoo and a dash of the flour
        Let water mixture bubble for a few minutes mix everything together. Knead for 15 minutes, yes 15 minutes! Rise 1hour. Divide into 5 doughs wrap in plastic wrap and put in zip lock bags in refrigerator for 2 days then pizza it up!!! (pizza stone is necessary)
        Pizza is my life and this recipe is about 15 years of evolution in pizza making. Use pizza to woo everybody!!!

  35. This is my first time posting in a Friday Open Thread, I think…
    My Friday night is all about self care after a few weeks of ridiculous amounts of stress, my sister’s wedding, and a break-up. I have a frozen Mexican pizza cooked and ready to eat, Ichabod Pumpkin Ale, my two cats as cuddle buddies, and season 9 of Supernatural to binge finally

    And I almost forgot the best part, Birthday Cake Ice Cream 🙂

  36. Right now I am really liking Blackish, as it’s very well written, & acted(very good cast). I really need to see Lip Service. I saw the fist two episode then couldn’t find it on the app I was watching it on again 🙁

    I’m really starting to hate OKC again, and remember why I stopped using it. I don’t really see how hard it is to give us the option of queer, & another option of into women. Cause OKC I am not fucking straight dude, and I don’t want to see straight women. I am genderqueer/agender and damn proud of it(most of the time)!

    Also, I am dealing with some back pain it’s not fun and meds where no help with side effects worse than the back pain(head ache and stomach problems are no fun).

    Oh and the caterpillar say, “how do you do?”

  37. I cajoled both my Mum and my Kid to watch the BBC “Great Expectations” miniseries, as the Gillian Anderson piece earlier this week convinced me to do Halloween as Miss Havisham this year. (Also, Gillian Anderson is in it. ‘Nuff said.)

    Next step: ask Mum for help sewing a makeshift Regency corset. Should be fun.

  38. Heyyyyy! I feel like I haven’t properly commented in AGES so, uh, sorry for all the pictures I’m about to post but also not sorry at all haHA

    So on Saturday we finally did the big wedding I’ve been working on that’s been taking up all my time, and it went super well! Then I left for Grand Rapids at 4 am on sunday, and went to this incredible wedding planner/designer workshop where I was the resident queer, and that was magical and super informative and I just feel SO SO EXCITED about my job!!! And maybe actually getting paid to do it! Instead of it being an expensive hobby! Anyway so yeah lots of prettiness. Also My roommate for the workshop said that she will be checking on me to make sure I do a lezzy wedding shoot, which is something I’ve been thinking about but have been slightly intimidated to do. Everyone was super supportive of each other! I have so much to do but I am so amped on it 🙂 🙂 🙂

    BUT on the other hand, all this work and still not having a car and living at home because I am a failure at adulthood and life is really making things difficult in my personal life. So. that really blows. I’ve been exhausted and emotional and sickly for like the past few weeks, and I know that things will calm down now that the wedding’s over, but for now I’m tired all the time and I’ve gained a few pounds and I need to start swimming again and and I need to eat better again and I need to get a car and I need to do a bunch of business stuff and I need to get my calendar straightened out and I need to do homework and blarrrrgh I am just so tired and a little overwhelmed, I guess. But it’s like, it’s all things I WANT to do? I just haven’t had time? I want to see Holly more and I want to hang out with my friends and I want to actually be successful at this job that I love. SIIIIGH.

    I’ve been obsessed with The Killing lately. I’m at the end of the 4th season and at this point it’s so dark and intense but so good? Season three made me sad and I have a lot of feelings about the queer representation in the show? Anyway it’s super good if you like brutal murder shows. Which I do. So. Yay!

    So let’s get on to the fun part with pictures of animals and flowers and also my face:


    forget feeling down about everything else in my life–I am excited about Flowers! OTP me and flowers.


    Also obsessed with fake tattoos. Here’s two florals (big surprise) layered, which made me feel extra artsy and cool while I was at the workshop.


    Speaking of the workshop, here’s my workspace from tuesday! I made the bouquet myself 🙂 Now I just have to get a bride to go for a wild bouquet so I can do it again!


    I did my hair for a fancy dinner!


    Flower selfie the day before the wedding, after maaaany hours of arranging.


    Here’s my family’s dog! She’s old and crotchety and kind of mean and I love her. She’s still funny as all get out!


    Today we dogsat for Ace, aka Mr. Pottypants, aka The Wizzer. Here he is peeing on a giant vodka bottle we found in the gutter.


    Last but not least, here’s some flowers I saw today at the wholesaler. Juliet garden roses are heaven.

    So in conclusion, I just talked to the guy at the bank about car loans so I’m feeling a little less useless? A little. Woo! Now onto a late work phone meeting thing. Wish me luck?

  39. This week I am watching Carmilla and the webseries/documentary about Laura Jane Grace and also Gilmore Girls. (I do a lot of work and school and TV is my only outlet right now sooo)

    ^Great segue into my actual open thread question: I am a library science student doing a research paper on Autostraddle as an information community. I’m hoping some commenters will be interested in participating in my survey! (And I hope this isn’t against the rules of the thread!)

    It’s about 9 questions long and takes about 10-20 minutes depending on the length of your answers. Filling out this survey will be the HUGEST help to me, my future thanks!

    Here’s the link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/V5L3BKY

  40. So…my excitables this week are starting to feel better after yurky experiences with medicine that made me 10x sicker..Autumn arriving today with leaves aflame…and and getting ready for voting next month for the FIRST TIME EVER at 39 ( due to lots of stuff…incl. International relationship, homelessness etc). I am super-excited for all levels of voting here! Plus, this is a city where people like Mable Elmore, an awesome openly lesbian Canadian of Filipino descent who was a civil rights activist and bus driver, get elected (she’s provincial, not municipal..but I just wanted to mention her, because, of course!)

  41. It’s Friday night, and I’m not at work. Whaaaaaaaaaat?!!! Rare for me to have off, as I’m normally working 2 shows.

    I’m not currently watching anything (aside from “Faking It”, but that has its own article), but I’ve been listening to various cast albums and songs all day/evening/night. I listened to Fun Home, Bridges of Madison County, The Last Ship, Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, and I’m currently listening to Alice Ripley’s album “Everything’s Fine”.

    I do want to watch “Are You Afraid of the Dark”, but I’m too scared to watch it alone and need a significant other to hold my hand.

    I have a question for/need advice from Autostraddle, since we’re being open. How does one “get over” a crush? I’ve been told to let the crush run its course, but I don’t know how that works and sounds like what I’ve been told to do during a panic attack. I’m pretty sure the receiver of the crush doesn’t reciprocate, but I can’t get this person out of my head. Help?!

    • I don’t think there’s any one way to get over a crush, but I’m in a similar boat right now. After several months of crushing, I decided to go ahead and tell the concerned person. Was pleasantly surprised to find out that person actually reciprocates the feelings to some extent, but does not want to be in a relationship right now due to instability in work situation/still getting over somebody else. So… yeah. I’m bummed, but not totally devastated. And I feel like now that we’ve had an honest conversation about it, I can get on with my life rather than torturing myself with wondering what the other person is thinking, etc.

      So I guess my advice would be to see if the crush resolves itself within a few months; if it doesn’t, maybe trying having a conversation with the person. Good luck!

    • needing someone to hold your hand while watching are you afraid of the dark speaks to my life experience. i watched some of buffy with a group of friends a while back, and the best part about it was that one of my friends was so jumpy she’d end up in the lap of the nearest person. i liked to pretend to be tough and tease her about it while (not so) secretly being glad because i needed some reassurance during the (cheesy) jumpy/scary bits, too. haha.

  42. Ooooooooohhhhhhh kayyyyyyy!!! I have been so super tempted to start Gilmore Girls, but I haven’t quite gotten to it. I have a friend who is really into it from way back, and I trust her judgement, but I also want to finish some of the series I’m already watching.

    Wait wait! Obligatory picture of Phoebe!

    We were actually watching one of the shows I’m going to tell you about:

    As a “new” lesbian, I am finally getting around to The L word(I’m in Season 4.) I definitely love it, but prior to transition, I did not watch many dramas, so sometimes it gets a little intense. Oh, also hormones and such have really made me feel that intensity, so I will often chill out with Parks and Recreation. I’m almost to the point where I was when I first watched it, so soon things are going to be new again, and I’ll probably have to do a crazy binge weekend. I guess my only real complaint with Parks and Rec is that it is completely cis and hetero-normative from what I have seen.

    And some folks may have seen my new profile shot, but I was playing with makeup recently:

    Nothing terribly dramatic, but I feel like liner really mad my eyes pop.

    Ugh, also, in unrelated news: paralyzing ‘anxiety attacks.’ What the heck is that about?

    • Phoebe is so kewt, as always! And you, too! I noticed you changed your name, too! Which is preferred – Devlin, or Amber? You are stunning as always. 🙂

      Let’s talk about these paralyzing anxiety attacks. What the heck is up with that? Think they could be fueled in part by watching dramas? I just know that TV actually can reek havoc on your anxiety levels, depending on what you’re used to. I cannot watch a murder mystery at all or I get crazy anxious! And I love them so!!

      • Devlin is actually my birth name. As I become more self actualized and confident in who I am as a woman, I’m able to drop some of the things I thought I needed, like a name change. I’ve always liked my name, and kind of rankled a bit at having a more common name. But, some of the things I’d read said that many trans women choose hyper feminine and uncommon names that call attention to themselves. And hey, you do you. But I no longer feel the need to change my name, and I think Devlin can really go either way.

        Anyway, I’m Devlin, nice to re-meet you!

        Anxiety. I don’t know. Time constraints have caused my viewing of dramas to drop off some. These anxiety episodes tend to happen at work. The first one this week happened after I’d received a call. My employer’s media director thought that I would be awesome at an interview about our campaign to send letters and care packages to the troops overseas. (I’m a veteran) I think she was looking at the picture of me that is about two years old, pre transition, where I do look the part of the clean cut veteran. And at that time, I may have been the perfect person for it. But these days, I’m in the awkward stage of growing my hair out, so not very clean cut in appearance (wild, curly hair haha.)

        Another big point, and what I think made me anxious is that I am hoping that I’m going to be able to start the new year at work visibly as a woman. If I’m going to do that, I don’t want to blast my name and face all over local TV with what feels like a marquis saying “MAN!” But I struggle saying no, and nailing the interview would’ve looked really good, I’m sure. So, that dilemma caused me to freeze and it was a very intense struggle. Moving took herculean effort. I had to focus all of my attention on anything. Fortunately, I was able to robotically make it to a nearby empty conference room and get out of where people could see me break down.

        It was terrible, and I felt so drained after. I had one the next day which was caused by this event at work where nearly the whole building was in the conference room and I had to make insane small tall and I got hot and had to rush out. After standing at my desk for a while not being able to move (or talk to some people who asked me questions!) I did the seemingly endless walk to my car where I was able to sit until I was relatively okay.

        I didn’t have any more this week. I saw my doctor yesterday and asked if it could be a side effect of the Spiro. He said nothing. It’s not really a conversation with my VA doctor. I get the HRT I need and probably couldn’t afford otherwise, and he watches my levels and such, but no help on what is really stressful and makes it really hard to function sometimes. I don’t think he believes in the emotional changes caused by HRT. But, I do see my therapist next week. Huzzah.

        Sorry, went long. (like always.)

        • not that my opinion matters per se, but I think Devlin is a lovely name.

          sorry work has been so triggering! I’m glad you get to see your therapist next week. hope that proves helpful or at least soothing.

        • Anxiety is the worst, and I’m really sorry you’ve had to deal with so much of it lately. I’ve definitely been there (and still am, though things are better than they used to be). Given all the changes happening in your life (both the emotional stress of transition and the physical effects of your body adjusting to new hormones) I think it would be surprising if you weren’t anxious, but I know the fact that it’s normal and understandable doesn’t make it any easier. I hope that talking with your therapist will help and that things will improve soon! Also, (not that my opinion matters) I think Devlin is a beautiful name.

        • I try not to pry into more serious-type open thread comments because I don’t know you and I don’t want to be invasive, but I just wanted to say that I think you’re great and you’re always so kind to people on here, and I’m sorry that you had some experiences this week that were so difficult to pull yourself through.
          It sucks, and I’m rooting for you. 🙂

  43. But Carmen, i don’t have any pets : (((((( At the very least, since it’s October, i will, at some point, watch the Wishbone episode “Legend of the Creepy Collars” because, i mean, come on, Halloween & Wishbone?? The only thing that would make this year good is trick or treating. Damn you, society. If anyone has cool Halloween ideas? I’d be all over that. I miss being outside on Halloween & having fun.

    Oh & i wasn’t here last week because guess who went inpatient again! If i make it a month without ending up back in, it’ll be a miracle. I’m also currently a week s-h free, which has been really difficult.

    And i finally scanned a lot of sketchbook stuff, including comics i’ve been making as, i guess, a way to deal & process & cope & understand & articulate this whole long strange trip, so i’m feeling oddly productive, editing those images. Even though i really really have to clean my room…

    • OH MY GOD. WATCHING WISHBONE IS THE CUTEST IDEA EVER. OH MY GOD. I LOVED WISHBONE. OH MY GOD.

      to make up for you not having a pet, here is a photo of eli dressed as a pumpkin.

      also, i hope you know – i love you and i’m glad you’re here. how could we ever have a good FOT without you, after all. @caitlin-2

      also – giving candy to kids while dressed up is a totally cute way to spend halloween and could lead to feelings of generosity / positive vibes in your life. i love to do it, only eli dresses up. not me.

      xoxoxoxoxoxoxox <3

  44. I have been obsessed with Supernatural for a year and a half, does that count??? I am planning on being Dean Winchester for Halloween, with a stuffed moose for Sam, and a stuffed angel ornament pinned to my shoulder for Cas. I’M SO EXCITED YOU GUYS AND I AM SUCH A NERD.

  45. Retreating from study to watch tv seemed like too much of a good thing to pass. So here I am watching 2 Broke Girls season 1 and 2, finally watching American Horror Story: Freakshow and getting into the midst of Orphan Black season 2.
    I must confess my girlfriend never returned seasons 1-3 of Gilmore Girls back to the DVD rental store which she borrowed over 3 years ago and so I might just have to jump onto the bandwagon and binge that next weekend.
    Aside from tv, the sun is out and i’ve pulled out shorts for the first time in ages. Maybe a spring clean is in order after I get through maybe one more episode…

  46. I am currently doing one of my favorite lazy weekend night activities- watching Modern Family on USA. The show does not get old for me.
    TV wise I am slowly working my way though American Horror Story on Netflix, I’m on season 2 right now. The mystery of the show overpowers me being freaked out by it.

  47. I’m slowly working my way through X Files and Criminal Minds. I made the mistake of marathoning CM.(Not on the same day, though!)Too much disturbing shit for one day. Classes and preparing for my future have kinda been sucking up my time. Thankfully, I’m back home for fall break with family and cats.

    In other news, I went on my first date in a while last weekend and it went really REALLY well. So well that I was in a crazy good mood for the whole week and could only grin like crazy when asked how I was. The girl I went out with has the loveliest smile I’ve ever seen and she’s adorable and sweet and gah! Did I mention that I’m hoping for another date? ‘Cause I’m hoping for another date.

  48. I have been waiting all week after that super therapeutic/depressing thread just so I can share the big news! Which is: I’m okay. You’re okay. 😀

    This week has been destructive, informative, restorative and fucking long. I don’t really watch TV. In fact, the only thing I watch is The Voice, when I’m taking a bath. And then I only watch the Blind Auditions cause I can’t be arsed to watch an entire season about people searching for fame. I feel like music is a gift to people from a higher spirit, and it belongs in the community, uplifting spirits, giving back from whence it came kinda thing. Fame and famous tunes undermine community when they’re not carefully measured. Anyway, that’s my rant.

    I had a bad night. It was really terrible. I was on my way home after using an exit strategy to not get involved in drinking, and I was trying to think of something warm and cozy to do when I got home – too tired for a bath. Reminded myself that I have matching sweater-sleeper and slippers, and that helped, and then I went HEY!! IT’S FRIDAY!!

    Autostraddle Open Thread is waiting for me!! And honestly, a frown turning upside down thing happened, and now I get to post pictures of me pet!

    This is Harmony, my bonsai

    Okay, so this is not actually a picture of Harmony, but it’s a pretty close stunt double. It’s a personal thing to share one’s shape, okay??… or I am lazy, and Harmony is downstairs. I decided that I can’t be responsible yet for another living thing that needs walks after putting my Magsters down in April. So a while ago, I was sad and watching Karate Kid, and realized that I can get a plant to put my energy into.

    She reminds me every day of this bonsai scene in The Karate Kid, which is basically Danial-san fearing that he will mess up a perfect, beautiful thing when he goes to prune a bonsai. Mr Myagi tells him to close his eyes. “Concentrate. Think only tree. Think about picture down to last pine needle. Wipe your mind clean, everything but tree. Nothing exist in whole world, only tree. Look at it. Open eye. Remember picture?” “Yeah.” “Make like picture.” “How do I know if this is the right one [to cut]?” “If come from inside you, always right one.”

    So every day, I focus on having inner harmony, seeing myself and the world for how I would like it to be, and trust that I won’t cut off the wrong pieces, because it comes from inside me. Sometimes are harder than others.

    Tonight I had a crisis with a friend, where I had to question her actions regarding the safety of her children. I asked myself the three things I always do before getting involved with something more personal than any feelings that accompany it. “Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said by me? Does this need to be said by me now?” And it was with a shudder that I answered yes to all three. The concern was resolved. And then I started my exit plan from drinking and here I am now, zen and feeling pretty badass about myself. I look forward to reading all your comments! Cheerio, folks!

    • I think I need a bonzai now??

      Also, good on you for doing the hard good friend thing! And going through on your exit plan! Sounds like you definitely deserve some ice cream or something tonight 🙂

      Also, thank you thank you thank you for all your kind words. Always. You are both insightful and inspiring! Thank you.

    • Hi Lolau…..may I suggest a book I read while in college? It is a book by Eric Fromme named “The Art of Loving”. It is not about sex, but rather about loving oneself. I think you might find it supportive. It is very much about finding our peaceful emotional loving center which is inside all of us …..by reminding ourself of the good things we do and feel in our life as well as looking on things we would wish to improve. 🙂 Happy thoughts.

  49. 144 comments. And I feel guilty for commenting without first reading through them all and commenting here and there. Anybody else feel this way? This thread gets overwhelming. I should probably comment on other threads through out the week, also.

    Well… what I need to talk about is Halloween and costumes, because every year I feel stumped. But see this dovetails with “what are you watching” because I’m only now in my life watching Buffy and Angel. I guess this doesn’t help anyone find hidden gems, just highlights how I never really watched tv much in my teens and 20s and only now do over netflix. So… I sort of want to dress as Buffy for Halloween, but since I’m more than a decade behind the times, that feels maybe silly and outdated. Eh. But she’s blonde,feminine and strong and I need that persona. After I’ve grown my hair down to my butt and then cut it off I’m going to go as 1) Tin-Tin (with some red hair coloring) and 2) Fraulein Maria, but I struggle with costumes in the mean time. Last year I was some weird creepy sexy bird thing. =p Maybe I could be Piper for Halloween, maybe I should start seeking for someone to dress as Alex with me right now.

    For a sweet, moving claymation on netflix I recommend Mary and Max.

    • it is definitely overwhelming! what bothers me the most personally is when i’m trying to keep up, and i know there are new posts in the thread, but there’s no way to know where they are if they’re comments on what someone else has said rather than new posts down at the bottom. i wish there were some way of telling.

      also, if you want to, you should totally dress as buffy for halloween! it’s still a popular show with plenty of people, even if it is old.

    • Mary and Max is the shit! Also, yes, this thread can be overwhelming, and I also feel a little guilty for not reading other things first. But ya know, there are no expectations here and we don’t owe anything to anybody. Just our presence. I’ll be slowly digesting everyone’s comments over the next couple days. 🙂

      And go as Buffy!! It has a cult following, so it’s timeless! You do you!

    • I’ve kind of been thinking about she-hulk. If I can find a decent black wig and a way to be green that will wash off but also not get on furniture and stuff.

      I thought it might be a fun way to play with the fact that I am a bit tall and (though the mass does seem to be melting) kind of muscle-y.

      RESEARCH MUST BEGIN NOW!

  50. I just burned myself out on Top Gear (1-15 seasons is apparently just a tiny bit too much on cars for me). So while I let my brain relax on that (so I can finish the next 4 seasons) I’ve switched to Bones. Because Emily Deschanel is way way hotter than her sister. With the bonus of not reminding me of the terrible crazy manic pixie girl stereotype horror.

    Also, because it is on netflix and I am not smart enough to effectively navigate crunchyroll to continue my quest to watch all 95 episodes of Kenshin.

    All of which is astounding because for like 10 years I didn’t watch any TV. Excepting football (which I am now tres conflicted about). But suddenly I’m single and have spent the last 8 months catching up on like all the kinda nerdy pop culture ever. And because all my books are still at the old house. I miss my books… *sigh*

      • “library!”

        I’ve thought about it. Its just far enough way that my burning through 300pgs a day makes it inconvenient. Plus its sort of a lazy denial thing. If I don’t go to the library I don’t have to deal with more proof my life is in total upheaval.

        Avoidance, it is a thing for this year.

        • maybe reframe the way you’re thinking about library visits? instead of thinking of it as a replacement for books that you miss, it can be an adventure in finding new books and seeing a new side of your community. in college I really liked going to the public library because it made me feel like I was in touch with the little town I lived in instead of being entirely in my university bubble.

          also, as far as reading really fast: yes, that, my friend, is why you check out a lot of books at a time. …and make sure to be really good about renewing and/or returning promptly. because huge fines are bad and ruin your library habit. not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything.

  51. I really don’t have much time to watch TV, but some help would be nice! I’m going to be doing “trunk-or-treating” at camp. All the kids are going to dress up and go from trunk to trunk to trick-or-treat. We’re supposed to “dress up” our trunks..any ideas?

  52. People are watching some GOOD STUFF.

    Carmen, you spoil me.

    I’m scared to watch Gilmore Girls because
    1.) will I ever work again
    2.) Yale nostalgia attack
    3.) does it hold up?!? WHAT IF I DON’T LIKE IT ANYMORE THEN WHO AM I?!?!

    I am currently in a king-sized bed that has a mirror right across from it, I don’t like this set up. But I’m going to watch and episode of Manhattan before I go to sleep. It’s on Hulu. It has John Benjamin Hickey.

    • Yeah, mirrors in places where you’ll be sleeping. Not a fan.

      How did your Q&A go last night? I had to do all of the driving yesterday and didn’t make it. I’m super sad. I hope you met/got to chat with Stephanie and all of the cool people!

    • i love you for responding to this question twice just to help me watch better tv, @b. you’re an american hero.

      1. probably not
      2. i’m not there yet so THANKS FOR THE SPOILER i liked yale more than harvard in the end, too, so maybe i’ll relate
      3. i bet it holds up

      also, are you getting too fancy for me

  53. I’m currently hooked on Grey’s Anatomy. I finally started watching it halfway through Season 10, and I caught up on most of the rest of the series over the summer by marathon-watching Seasons 4-9 (I started there because I came for the Calzona stuff, and then I fell in love with everything else too).

    So now my new love affair with Grey’s Anatomy has replaced my former love affair with Glee. Thank God for that perfect timing, because now that I have pretty much gotten over Glee, I won’t be completely heartbroken when the show ends for good next year. I still plan on watching the last season, since it will only be 13 episodes, but Glee has been getting so much worse these past few seasons that their motto should be “if it ain’t broke, break it”.

    I’m also pretty obsessed with The Good Wife, Modern Family, Scandal, How To Get Away With Murder, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

  54. Carmen you are definitely not alone in watching Gilmore Girls! I recently started watching it too, having never seen it before. Other than that I am watching Doctor Who, Sleepy Hollow, and lots and lots of Bob’s Burgers.
    Here’s a picture of my furbabies. Sir Cat is a dapper kitty, she loves her bowtie. The one on the right is Dianna and she refused to let me put her in a bowtie- maybe she’s a femme.

  55. This is my first Friday open thread!

    I’ve felt like I’ve been rocking it for the past month or two but had a minor anxiety break on Friday because I’m doing so much. But it’s all awesome.

    Working each of my jobs (I’m an adjunct instructor, but teach just one class) has fallen to the bottom of my priority list which I don’t feel great about but there’s so much happening.

    When I get off work I’m driving with a friend to Ferguson for basically 24 hours (boo work) to be part of the Weekend of Resistance.
    Next Friday I leave on a 175 mile bike trip called NOLA to Angola that raises money for buses so the family and loved ones of incarcerated people can visit them in facilities throughout the state of Louisiana.
    The white anti-racism group I work with is just a few weeks away from throwing a big interactive workshop on gentrification, to spin off into a smaller group tackling a concrete anti-gentrification project in the city.

    My roommate/close friend/etc. and I are working through some hard stuff but he’s doing way better than I anticipated.
    And I’m (long-distance ugh) dating a real cute person who I got to see on Thursday.

  56. I used to watch Gilmore Girls too, but as of late I’ve been watching Bojack Horseman and that creepy “new” Hannibal series. Also, I look for weird crossover fanfics (today I found several Frozen/X-man fics).

  57. First open thread! I’m obsessed with Orphan Black, and the new series of Doctor Who is so good! I watched ‘Mummy on The Orient Express’ today and it was amazing. Carmilla and Faking It are fun to watch too.

    I’ve been feeling pretty low lately, but I won’t bother going into all that. Instead here is a cute kitty –

  58. Not particularly watching or streaming anything. Shonda-day isn’t even holding my interest that well.
    But, but, but last night I actually went to a movie theatre and watched a movie.
    And that movie was “Dracula Untold”
    It was a mash of George Kastrioti, Vlad Tepes and Castlvania: Lords of Shadow full of trope-y cheese and CGI aided murder death kill.
    I grinned and giggled my way through the movie to the distress of my neighbors. Also Charles Dance was fantastic. I want to say he was like a Tzimisce, but it doesn’t quite fit and why might counts as spoilers.

    Still as fun as that was I long and yearn for a well funded gothic slow burn adaptation of Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu’s Carmilla set somewhere in the Romantic era. Hopefully where the neckline of Regency fashion and the short stays can be reasonably applied with some homages to Romanticist works of art like Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog.

    http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/547262/Skanderbeg History of Albania is generally not a part of the classic liberal arts education.

  59. Hey AS Folks,
    I just finished Masters of Sex, but I’m not really looking for anything new to watch, because professional school.
    This week was a rough one for my family:
    – my brother had a psychotic/manic episode while in London and then was out of touch for 4 days.
    – my dad had a heart arrhythmia and went into the hospital. It resolved itself, but still.
    Then, no one decided to tell me about either of these things until I showed up unannounced after work on Wednesday.
    This is my family who also likes to pretend that my queerness doesn’t exist.
    I’m doing okay (self-care walks and butter chicken), but could really use some hugs.

    // I don’t have any pictures of my cat, but here’s a photo of the grape harvest and my parents house. I don’t ever buy grapes because they just don’t compare to these ones. //

  60. I’m surprised no one else has mentioned “The Knick”. It’s sooo good, it’s ridiculous. It’s the one show I’ve really looked forward to watching every week in a very long time.

    Ah, the Gilmore Girls. I remember watching it when it first aired on the WB. Anyone remember that? I’m curious to see how I’d feel watching it again as an adult. Long Live Emily Gilmore.

  61. I’m watching Korrasami creep ever closer to being canon on Avatar: The Legend of Korra, and squeeing my little head off over her majestic transness Claire hook up with Marten in longtime webcomic Questionable Content.

    YES, I’m WATCHING a webcomic. No I’m not just using this prompt as an excuse to talk about my ships that’s crazy talk!!!


  62. This is not on topic, so feel free to ignore. I had this guy yell at me that I was a white bitch, who needed a dick, over an over again tonight. Pretty much threatening to rape me. I practically ran home, and I just burst into tears. I just keep hearing him say that in my head. I really thought tonight would be the night when my number finally comes up. I have lived on my own for 15 years. I should be used to this stuff. But it actually bothers me more than ever. I am just so done with being scared. I just needed to get that off my chest. I don’t know anyone right now who would understand. Not just laugh it off, or ask why I was walking by myself at 7:30 at night.

  63. PARKS AND RECREATION. I’m just in a reallllllly big Rashida Jones phase at the moment and I’M NOT SORRY. I’ve watched the entire series 3 times in a row. Also, Carmilla. It’s a web series about a lesbian vampire so if you aren’t watching it, you’re missing out big time! The entire cast is super adorable and I’ve binge watched it all twice already.

  64. I had the worst weekend ever. Ingested pot for the first time, and had the worst reaction–I was so sick I had to skip all the Pride festivities this weekend, which I’ve been looking forward to all year. On top of that, the girl I like is pulling away, and I think I may have to cut her off to save myself more grief, which breaks my heart. I really, really like her, like more so than anyone else ever, so I don’t know how to cope with losing her. So, tomorrow, I’m staying in bed and watching 90’s cartoons and eating ice cream and feeling sorry for myself. Tuesday, I’m gonna get off my butt and rehaul my current circumstances, because I don’t like the way stuff is going right now.

    Also, no pot for me ever again. Seriously, I put Linda Blair to shame. Ugh.

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