FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: It’s Not Like Pitch Perfect, I Swear

Hello, freshly baked loaves of banana bread! How are you? I hope your weeks have been as sunshine filled as mine has been! Welcome to Friday Open Thread, the place where we get to talk to each other about our favorite Shakespeare play adapted to a movie — mine is the 1990 Mel Gibson version of Hamlet, for a top notch Helena Bonham Carter as Ophelia — and share tales of our week went past! We don’t really have to talk about Shakespeare though unless you’re into that — because I am totally into that, and if the comments this week had a Shakespeare theme, I would not at all be upset!

"Oh no, Hamlet thinks the world is all about himself again."

“Oh no, Hamlet thinks the world is all about himself again.”

I am not here to limit you and your imaginations, though — the world is your oyster, as they say!

You’re probably like, “Who is this person I’m talking to? They’ve never done a Friday Open Thread before!” Allow me to introduce myself: I’m Alaina and I’m new-ish here! I’m thinking about going by Lain in the future, so if you wanna try calling me that, I’m not at all opposed to it. My favorite color is green, I am allergic to kiwis and sesame seeds and one day I really want to be First Lady of the United States.

I’m from Connecticut, but live in Greensboro, NC and kinda never want to leave the South now.

This is the best thing to happen to me on tinder basically ever.

This is the best thing to happen to me on tinder basically ever.

Case in point: it is currently 80°, I am on Spring Break, my cats are napping in the sun, I’m drinking honey lavender lemonade, and I can hear small children playing outside at the home daycare next door to my house. It’s my literal dream come true. Birds are even chirping and someone just drove down the street with their windows down playing “Jenny from the Block”. I can’t make this stuff up!

My second favorite part of the South is my a cappella group. I’m the music director of an all-female group, the UNCG Sapphires, and besides the fact that we’re all really hot and powerful, we’re constantly breaking molds and stereotypes and we have each others backs like no one else. Do you know what it’s like knowing there are 15 women who unconditionally support you at all times? It feels amazing. We just placed 2nd at our ICCA quarterfinals (yes, ICCA like in Pitch Perfect, but no, being in an all female a cappella group is not like the movies) and are currently preparing for semifinals. So even though I’m on a break, I’m busy thinking about musical arrangements and choreography and microphones and crescendos and transitions and… I could go on, but for all our sakes, I’ll stop.



What about your weeks, though? How was everything? Are you also on Spring Break or did you have work/school? How was that? Did you drink enough water? How did that new recipe turn out? I bet it was delicious. Tell me everything! I want to know about your dogs, your plants, your dogs’ plants, that cutie at the farmers’ market — everything! I literally want to be your best friend. It will be very on brand for me since most of my best friends don’t live anywhere near me!

Or you could tell me about your favorite group of gal pals! Do you have a bunch of friends who make you feel like your best, most amazing self? I wanna hear all about them! I love female friendships, they’re so empowering! Tell me all about your personal group of sister wives and why they’re awesome! What makes your personal #squad the best? Shout out your friends, y’all! Let’s put a little platonic friend-love into this Springtime air!

This is my first time hosting and I’m so excited to talk to y’all because you made it! The week is over and you can finally be wild and free. I am so proud of you! Also, please post your pet pictures. That’s my favorite part.

How To Post A Photo In The Comments:

Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL” and then…
code it in to your comment like so:

If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur. To learn more about posting photos, check out Ali’s step-by-step guide.

How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:

Find a video on YouTube or Vimeo or WHATEVER and click “embed.” Copy that code, paste it

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Ari is a 20-something artist and educator. They are a mom to two cats, they love domesticity, ritual, and porch time. They have studied, loved, and learned in CT, Greensboro, NC, and ATX.

Ari has written 330 articles for us.


  1. y’all, you know how a lot of weeks i come here and whine n worry about my grad school applications and my grad school interviews and just everything about grad school? well, on monday this gal found out she got in!!

    so i’ve been over the moon the entire week, it’s been 70 degrees here in chicago for multiple days in a row, my partner and I have begun having real conversations about what our life together will look like in many years which makes me very happy, AND tonight I get to hang with my little sister.

    yeah, life is going well.

  2. hello Friday open thread! I’m a good mood because I’m off to London next week for a week and planning my visit now. Do any Londonstraddlers have any good queer events to suggest? Besides the Her party, the itinerary is all very freeform – in other words, not much planned, just waiting to see what happens. It’s going to be a very pleasant week of cafe-and-park-wandering by day, dancing by night. Or so I hope. I’ll also be meeting up with one old and one new friend there, and greatly looking forward to that. When they were over last, we squelched around the Phoenix Park and they went to an arm-wrestling contest.

    • If it’s sunny, you should definitely go up Primrose Hill. It’s in north London (get off the tube at Camden Town) and you can see the whole city from the top. There’s also a cupcake bakery nearby, and it’s the spot where Riley sits with Nomi during the “What’s Up?” scene in Sense8. So there’s that :)

      • I think I may have been there before, but I did not have cupcakes. I can correct it this time :D

  3. Being called a freshly baked loaf of banana bread is the highlight of my morning tbh. Also, I’m eating the most delicious vegan banana walnut bread right now!!

    And since you asked about friends, I have the best one in the world. Truly the best one, and I am over-the-moon platonically in love with her :)

    Happy Friday!

  4. The week was great Alaina thanks for asking ! Although I was sick, I managed to get a couple of things done at work, and I’ve been back to the gym yay.

    Today’s yoga theme was “kindness”, it was the most Hufflepuff yoga session ever :D.

    Also I have a date with a Slytherin tonight, hope some sparks will fly !

    HAVE A GREAT FRIDAY NIGHT EVERYONE <3. I love you Autostraddle (I'm still high as fuck from the yoga in case you can't tell).

    • kindness yoga! i feel better just hearing about it! good luck with your slytherin–i am one and we are great and you are great and it will be great!!

    • Literally every time you mention any activity in which you participate, it makes me want to move. We do not have the Kindness Yoga in Philadelphia.

      Hope your date goes (went? Time zones, man) great!

      • Thank you !
        And no the date wasn’t that great but HEY I TRIED. I get another date with another person on Tuesday though hopefully that one is more interesting !

  5. lain i LOVE your sub column it’s SOO GOOD, thanks for writing it! and for doing friday open thread!

    my favorite shakespeare-play-to-movies are inevitably in the teen rom-com genre along with all my other favorite movies. so she’s the man and 10 things i hate about you. easily.

    also EVERYONE: i just found out about homemade banana ice cream. do you guys know about homemade banana ice cream? did i read about it here and then forget my source because memory is fickle and contemporary life is saturated by media? WHO KNOWS. all i know is i froze my dying bananas and then blended them up with like a tbs of almond milk and some peanut butter and HOLY OMG. banana bliss.

    so yeah, i had a pretty good week.

    • Seconding the vote for 10 Things I Hate About You.

      But if I’m being completely honest, my favourite Shakespeare play-to-movie adaptation is The Lion King.

    • You can do a “milkshake” the same way. 1 frozen banana+1-2 tbsp cocoa+1/4 cup(ish?) dairy or non-dairy milk of choice+drizzle of honey. Add peanut butter if you’re feeling fancy. Blend it all up, and you get chocolatey frozen goodness.

    • ooh yeah. 10 Things is the best. I saw it in theaters with a girl in high school who completely reminded me of Kat. AH, unrequited crushes. :)

  6. Let’s start with Shakespeare: This week my Kid began rehearsals for their last play with the theatre conservatory they’ve been attending for a decade. (They’re a high school senior.) They’re playing Dick the Butcher in Henry VI, Part II, which means that they get to deliver the classic line, “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” It’s kind of bittersweet, knowing that this is their last show with that crew. But I think it’ll be a fun role.

    I was able to start pulling my hair back into a ponytail for the first time this week! I’ve been waiting more than a year for my hair to get long enough to do that — this is the first time in my life that I’ve let my hair grow out this long, and being able to pull it back is a bit of a milestone for me. It’s also nice to be able to get it out of my eyes.

    March is kind of a fun month for me. Next Tuesday will be the second anniversary of my decision to start transitioning. It kind of feels like having an additional birthday to celebrate! (Which I’m going to do by getting a new pair of glasses. Easily amused, I am.)

    • ahh, dick the butcher. i love the henry plays tbh! and congrats on all these milestones! march is such a great month for you!

    • Yay for ponytails! You made it through the terrible growing-out stage! (And, depending on where you’re located, just in time for warmer weather!)

  7. Lain- since you wanna be FLOTUS, how do you feel about Claire Underwood/House of Cards #importantquestions

    • oh man. okay: i have not seen this season of house of cards because i know i’ll watch it all at once and i don’t have 11 hours to commit to intense television right now, BUT I love Claire. based off of past seasons’ performance, she is an idol. ruthless, but classy, and she’s only ruthless because she has to get stuff done!!!

      also right now, i think if Brittney Griner got political, that’d be great. we’d look so good at State events together

  8. My personal group of sisterwives is my roller derby league <3 <3 <3

    You guys, I literally cannot shut up about how much I love these ladies. We're all badasses on the track, but off the track we all support and love each other so much. I've been going through some rough times frienship-wise with some of my non-derby friends, but these ladies remind me that there will always be someone to have my back. Derby is competitive, and our league is competitive, and technically we're all in competition with each other for spots on teams and rosters and lines and rotations, but even if one of us makes it onto a roster and the rest of us don't, and even if we're a little upset and jealous and bitter about that fact, we set it aside and CHEER OUR FUCKING HEADS OFF for the one of us that did make it, and I love that about us.

    It's my birthday on Monday, and instead of trying to make plans with my friends who haven't really been around much or haven't bothered to check in when super rough stuff is going on in my life (like my so-called best friends who haven't even bothered to check in to ask how my mom is doing after undergoing chemo…) I'm doing a derby girl exclusive birthday dinner.

    • I really want to try derby when I move to St. Louis for a job this fall, and this makes me want to try out even more!

      • The St. Louis women’s league, the Arch Rival Roller Girls, is actually really incredible, they’re moving up the rankings FAST, and have a pretty huge following. St. Louis is a great city for derby!

    • I started derby in November, and its been terrifying and fun. I passed the test to go onto level 1 skills, but have been too afraid to move on. I need a mouthguard, and there is contact! Right now i am staying at the beginner level. It seems like this is a huge commitment, and knowing what gear to buy is all so overwhelming. Maybe i’ll just stay a beginner forever and never actually play derby.

    • Oooh you make this sound so fun and soul-lifting and important. Derby is on my list of things to check out once I get my job situation sorted.

      Happy birthday!! Your plan sounds perfect.

      (Also, I hope your mom is doing well.)

  9. Hi, Lain! Thanks for hosting this week! I have some bananas sitting on the shelf that I intend to turn into banana bread later today, so I feel like this post is a good sign.

    Big news, y’all: I’m finally admitting that my brain probably qualifies as ADHD (or I have what I’m naming Trauma Brain… But that’s a more complicated thing). It’s time to accept that the reason I can’t ever focus/focus on the wrong thing/am constantly distracted/can’t maintain organization in any sense/etc. is not just personal failure to be disciplined. So that’s a pretty big weight off my shoulders! If only I’d listened to the multiple therapists I’ve seen who tried suggesting it, heh.

    Now the question it how to move forward from here… I already went back and found @heatherannehogan ‘s posts on the subject, so I’m thinking about experimenting with some apps. Anyone have other good resources to suggest?

    • I’m so glad you’ve been able to work through those things! it feels so good when you’re able to name why things are the way they are and not just feel like a failure :)

    • truuuuu. spring/summer in hood is my favorite everyone is so full of joy and life and you get things like windows down/jenny on the block looks

  10. Hi, Lain! My spring break begins today and I definitely need to spend it all working on my honor’s thesis, but I am absolutely not going to do that. I will suffer in the future but I’m going to have a great week.

    I’m so glad you asked about friends because I was just thinking about how incredible my woman squad is. I’m currently a little panicky about what we’re all going to do without one another after graduation. I’m hopeful that we will all magically acquire jobs and grad school acceptances in the same city, but that doesn’t seem super likely. The thought of trying to make new friends in the real world is already stressing me out.

    • please don’t feel guilty about resting during spring break, today is the first day i’ve started doing stuff that i intended to know all week long and i don’t regret it at all. i needed this! sunshine and rest is what spring break is for!

  11. I’m also on spring break right now! It’s been a pretty relaxing time but I haven’t done too much besides going to NYC with a friend. We lucked out MAJORLY so I got to see both Fun Home and Les Mis. Yeah. I’m still in shock, it was so so amazing and I cried a lot. Also we managed to snag Hamilton programs from a super nice usher in the theater, which was cool.

    One of the best squads I’ve had was the cast of the vagina monologues that I worked with – they were so funny and smart and I miss our rehearsals so much! I’m already excited for next year!

    Favorite movie adaption of Shakespeare is honestly the 1967 (I think?) version of Romeo and Juliet. The costumes are ridiculous, Romeo looks like Zac Effron, and I have fond memories of watching it in freshman English with one of my best friends.

      • I love the spotify sessions!! It was pretty much all I listened to on the bus ride back home lol

    • That Romeo totally does look like Zac Efron! and Juliet is super beautiful, and Mercutio (sp?) is super good, though not quite as amazing as the one in the Bas Lehman version…

      • Juliet is played by Olivia Hussey who was either 16 or 17 when the movie was filmed. The dude who played Romeo was also 17ish so under 18 nudity equality, my 12 year old self was secretly very ecstatic about that fact.
        She also played the Virgin Mary in 1977 tv miniseries Jesus of Nazareth and melted my heart.

  12. I’m going to a Farmer’s Market this weekend, so I’ll keep you updated on any cuties!

    I’ve now posted thrice about moving to PDX in FOT’s, but this one is unique (I swear)–because I’m actually here! Moving was a whirlwind, but went surprisingly easier than I was expecting/worrying about. I can’t believe how quiet my neighborhood is, despite being just minutes outside of the downtown proper. On my very first day, I walked to a coffeehouse across the street and almost tripped over my dumb self when I saw the barista. In that same vein, using Her around here is super-overwhelming for so. many. reasons. Makes me feel self-conscious, like I need to really improve myself before I’d feel “worthy.” Anyway, work starts on Monday, so I’m focusing on soaking in my new city and exploring when and where I can.

    • cute baristas in neighborhood coffee shops and quiet neighborhoods near downtown areas. you’re living the PDX dream!

    • !!! You did it!

      I hope everything continues to go so well (especially on the cutie front, but I guess also, ya know, your new job. Priorities).

  13. Okay, bummer. I wrote a note and somehow my computer ate it…maybe my original comment was a digital form of delicious banana bread and my computer couldn’t share?
    Anyways, I’ll try again.
    Lain! This is a fantastic start to a FOT, so I hope to see you on here again as the host! So many fun things to talk about.
    In the Shakespeare train of thought, I loved Joss Whedon’s Much Ado About Nothing, but I think that’s partially because I’m a geek for much of the creations that come out of the Whedon-universe. So far as classic Shakespearean badassery, I have to go with Dame Maggie Smith’s performance as Portia in The Merchant of Venice. Pretty incredible stuff.
    As for life, I have a lot going on and am getting ready to drive across the country in a couple weeks and I’m both excited and a little scattered getting things in order for that. As for friends, I’m excited to get to see many folks along the way and back on the other side of the country. I’ll be running a race out in Arizona in about a month, which will be like a mini-friend reunion, many of those folks being some really fast, bad ass women.
    Okay, hope this works this time, that my computer doesn’t eat it, and that everyone has a fantastic weekend!!
    (Okay, it got eaten again, but I preemptively ‘copied’ it before submitting…so trying once more…)

    • it worked! your computer didn’t eat it! What are your favorite snacks for road trips? I’m the picky loser who can only eat like fresh produce and water or i’ll get car sick, so i love living vicariously through other people’s snacks!

      • SNACKS!!! I’m allergic to lots of things, so I tend to make lots of snacks before I leave on road trips because the only things I can really get at gas stations are nuts, and that’s just kind of boring, and also gets really expensive. Fresh produce and water are awesome, and I def eat lots of that while on road trips. Especially snap peas, they are delicious and convenient to munch while driving. I have this recipe I made up for a granola bar type thingamabob that I really love, so I usually have those. I also usually make some sort of muffins/biscuity type things to snack on. I like to have some sparkling water or mineral water, bc belching really loudly and obnoxiously in a small truck on a highway in the middle of nowhere is really satisfying to me, and soda makes me feel way to crazy.

      • Yes, I thought it was silly and fun, and I liked that it didn’t change the language to fit the modern background. :)

  14. I just finished my last final exam! No more classes until August, yippee!!!

    Now to just enjoy my spring break and pack to go to Richmond, Virginia for 8 weeks for an internship! I’ve never been down south (besides Disney World) before but yay new experiences? If anyone knows some things I -must- check out in Richmond please let me know (especially queer things and tasty places to eat)

    • the south is amazing please if you do nothing else, eat a krispy kreme donut? that’s the first thing i had when i crossed the mason dixon line and now I say y’all all the time. People in Richmond will tell you it’s not the south though, but they’ll say it with a smile on their face, because it IS the south and people are so nice!

      • There used to be a Krispy Kream donuts near my grandparents house when I was a kid but it closed down, which is so sad since Dunkin can NEVER compare. I’m thrilled it’s more popular the more south you go, BRING ON THE DONUTS.

        Thank you! I’m so excited :D

    • yes yes this is the moment i’ve been waiting for i went to school in Richmond so I can tell you some ~fun things~ but also know that the school-my alma mater- is eating up a lot of local businesses

      so food:
      *Mama’s Kitchen – if you like korean food and if it’s still there it’s super delicious, also vegetarian options
      *SUGAR SHACK(in caps because it’s so important) – they make amazing donuts, have great coffee and chai lattes, there are two locations (the one downtown is closed on the weekend but less crowded than the one near VCU) also I recommend checking their facebook because you can do something and get a free donut(for example i blew a kiss to my favorite donut and got it fo free)
      *proper pie – i’m a bigger fan of their sweet pies but they have some great savory pies/hand pies, i really like thier spinach and cheese roll and before I was a vegetarian their sausage rolls are really good, any sweet pie is delicious for the most part
      *my noodle – if it’s still there you should go! the owner/chef is really nice and will come out and talk to you and it’s just really amazing asian fusion…also if you don’t feel like going out to get it they’ll deliver(and the portions are larger when you order so left overs

      other thangs:
      *the VMFA – it’s fo free, a great museum, if you get a membership you can park there for free(otherwise it’s $5) and get into special exhibits for free(student membership is $10 for a year!), be warned there are protesters with confederate flags who are still salty that no one is crying about the south losing the civil war as hard as they are

      *if you like punk/metal/alt music totally go to Strange Matter sometimes they have really great bands playing and they have some arcade games you can play ~and~ they don’t have gender specific bathrooms which is cool and i’ve met people just from using the bathroom

      *the camel is also great for music

      *go to carytown! they have great food and Carytown Burgers has amazing burgers and also grilled cheeses, fries, mozzarella sticks if you’re a vegetarian ALSO shopping there is really nice& i recommend going to portrait house it’s a bar and sometimes there’s dancing and it’s really fun

      *first friday!: the first friday of every month a bunch of galleries are open to the public and everyone just walks down broad street dipping in and out, getting free wine, and eating free food

      i’m sure i’m forgetting something (like the name of the bar/food place where my friend works but I know it’s next to the 7/11 on Grace St. also on Grace St.: a pizza place with amazing food, a cafe whose name escapes me that has really great vegetarian and vegan food and coffee ~and~ a wide variety of hot sauces) but chances are you’ll meet people who’ll pull you out…sadly, my favorite dive bar was closed down before I left and it’s possible the school has bought up more property but still! have fun in Richmond! it’s an awesome place!

      • Ahhhh I can’t thank you enough for this! What a lovely, well thought out list. I just put all of these places into my phone, I’ll be sure to check out as many as I possibly can in my 8 week stay (my tummy was grumbling just reading about the different restaurants). THANK YOU <3333

    • I recently visited William & Mary, and Williamsburg is about 45 minutes to an hour away from Richmond. So if you’re interested in early American history, you might want to check out Colonial Williamsburg as a day trip. I believe they have a botanical garden in Williamsburg too.

      • That does sound like a cool day trip! Especially since I’ll be so close. Thanks for the rec, I’ll try to plan something so I can check it out :D

  15. Hey friends! How’s it going? I’m at work. Yesterday, I had the day off, and it was 75 degrees in NYC, so I spent the majority of the day outside. It was lovely. AND I got to finish out the day seeing a show.

    I started a weight loss/self-love Instagram. The account is beautifulandhere. Follow me and my overnight oats. I’m trying to lose weight while being a body-positive queer feminist. It’s an interesting juggling act.

    If you were to see an ideal musical, what would it be about? I’m going to be writing a musical next year, and as I research/brainstorm, I’m interested in hearing the potential audience’s ideas. It doesn’t have to be “conventional” musical material. It’s for a class, so I don’t have to worry about getting rights to a book/movie/etc., so I was thinking about the Price of Salt/Carol: The Musical. Thoughts?

    • Raising a jar of my own overnight oats in a shared “weight loss/self-love” toast! What are your favorite add-in’s? I did a typical “apple pie” mix, with a whole apple, cinnamon, walnuts, vanilla extract, and chia seeds.

      • I FUCKING LOVE Porridge but was is the benefit of overnight oats? Is it just that you don’t have to cook them ? Because I usually let them soak overnight and then heat them on the hob for like 2 minutes and it’s like real porridge that cooked for 30 full minutes !

        • Overnight oats don’t have to be cooked, and it’s super easy. Throw everything in a bowl the night before, pop it in the fridge, and voila – breakfast!

      • Ooo, apple pie oats sound delicious (minus the walnuts, but I could probably substitute almonds). My go-to add-ins are frozen blueberries, cinnamon, and almonds. I need to get chia seeds and flax seeds and all those fun super foods to add in. Unsweetened pumpkin or apple butter would probably really great in the fall. As spring approaches, I’ll take advantage of fresh fruit – strawberries, kiwis, peaches, etc.

    • I think a Carol musical would be amazing and heartbreaking. One of my favorite, more innovate musicals is called “35mm: a musical exhibition” and it’s all of these different songs strung together by a theme, but all of the songs were written based off of photographs the composer saw! it’s super cool, and maybe you could do something weird/different like that too!!

      i am also going to follow you on instagram to support you and also, i love oatmeal and wish i had better command over my nights/mornings so i could prepare/eat overnight oats

      • I love 35mm! I know Ryan (the composer/lyricist). We went to the same grad school (different years, same program). Unfortunately, this program that I’m doing is requiring us to do a “conventional” format, so I’m trying to play with the content. Something super queer, while still being a book musical/having a linear story.

        Thank you for following me! Overnight oats are so easy. You don’t even have to cook them. Just take a container/bowl, add oats and milk/water (I use almond milk), plus fruit, cinnamon, nuts, etc., and put it in the fridge. No slow cooker or anything like that. I promise it’s super easy. I don’t even measure anything. I just throw everything in a bowl, stir, and refrigerate. :)

    • Umm an Honor Girl musical? A Lumberjanes musical? Sensing a theme here? Write me a musical about queer girls at camp (though I could never afford tickets!)

      You and I were walking (and sweating? Or was that just me?) About 90 miles apart yesterday. Weekdays off are pretty sweet, especially when they coincide with the first really nice day in forever.

  16. So, after 2 years of not cutting my hair I finally did it myself. I must say I didn’t mess it up like I thought I was going to. It isn’t anything fancy but it definitely gave me a confidence boost. I am always afraid of making mistakes but you only live once, right? Well now that I have a new hair cut, I think I will change the way I dress too. I kind of feel like changing up my life after doing so well in other areas. Also I am officially 6 years sober and celebrated my 6 year anniversary.

    Next on my list, applying for some finance internships that I am probably not qualified for!!!! Hey, I will be happy I even get a phone interview. :)

  17. (a)Lain(a)! Hello! How exciting!

    My week…was all anticipation. Which paid off today! Got one job offer, but it isn’t at my top choice…anyone with business savvy know what I should do? I called the lovely hr person at Top Choice, and she is trying to find things out for me, but if she can’t…I don’t want to keep these other people waiting and lose out on this opportunity…ideas?

    I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! In the warm! Can you believe it? I’ve already taken multiple enjoyable walks/romps/scrabbles throughs the woods. Yay!

    • That’s great! Analyze what exactly you would give up by not choosing to wait for your top choice. If anything, taking the second or third choice might strengthen your candidacy for your top choice in the future. You have a pickle. Patience is a virtue but time is money. :)

  18. Oh I’m jealous of the weather you’re having Lain! It’s cold and gross here in the north of England. I finish work for Easter a week on Monday, so I’ll be on break then, I can’t wait. I plan on doing dull house and yard repairs but also taking the van out for a day trip or two with the missus and the dog child.
    I miss my Uni rugby team who were totally an awesome group of female friends. Having said that I gave them a shout earlier this year for assistance with setting up games for my friends Hen do and they came through and we ended up reminiscing for days via social media. So even though it’s been years and we are miles apart we still have that bond and hopefully we’re going to meet up sometime when everyone stops getting married and having kids and being busy with all that adult business. That adult business really gets in the way of life huh.
    Last week on FOT I mentioned having seen Maxine Peake as Hamlet in a TV showing of her theatrical performance. Clearly I was ahead of the game! So although it’s not a movie adaptation worth looking out for it for the various gender swaps.
    Have a great weekend or break wherever you are folks.

    • i love gender swapped shakespeare!! that sounds like it was amazing! i’m sending some warm weather vibes your way!

  19. This is my first time commenting, but yesterday I got my Autostraddle stickers in the mail! Whoohoo!

    • you’re having the biggest week ever! i’m so happy for you!! aren’t those stickers amazing?

      • At least one on my laptop since it’s currently my most used worldly possession! I will post a picture once I figure out the process. :D

        Tonight–curling with my partner–last game of the season!

  20. Also, also, can we take a moment to acknowledge that Tegan and Sara are finally dropping info about their new album?! I keep swearing I’m over them, but every time they put out something new I get sucked in again… I’ve only refreshed Instagram a zillion times in the last day ?

    • Yes yes yes! So excited. Thematically, the last one tied in all too well with a major breakup for me…. Hopefully the release of this new one will coincide with more positivity! (Probably too much to hope for an album’s worth of cheery songs from them, but maybe this time I will be in a place where I can sing along without crying!)

  21. I’m currently waiting to fly home to Phoenix at the moment. I spent the last couple days helping clean up my mom’s farm in VA (at her request). Fortunately, my flight doesn’t get into late, since I’m running my first ever 5k tomorrow morning!

    In other news, I volunteered to be a subject for a series of portraits of trans people that a local trans artist was doing. Early on in the process, the artist asked me what setting I’d like for the painting, making an explicit point that it didn’t have to be anything realistic- he’d be happy to portray me as anything I’d like.

    Really, I said, anything?

  22. Heyyyy Lain! I was at work all day, and I’m working all weekend, so i am tired!! But i have half an hour to myself so I’m eating blueberries and reading AS, obv. I cant believe its so much summer/spring time by you. We are still in winter weather although we have a lot more daytime now than in actual winter. I went home home last weekend and saw my cats so I’m super jealous of your feline filled life. Pet free houses just aren’t as warm, its a fact.

    • well, i’m sending you some warm weather via my heart, and hopefully my cats’ silly faces on instagram warm your home a little bit <3

  23. I’m a working person(who works with their father), so I don’t get spring breaks anymore. Though I could maybe take a weekend off. If I had the cash I’d do Dinah Shore again or just drive somewhere deep in the forest.

    I am a little envious of the 80 degree weather, but then again we had that most of February and right now some rain would be nice(and needed). On the other hand southern food would great right about now. I right now have the problem that all this week I’ve been eating Trader Joe brand peanut butter on toasted bread. I think my body has become addicted to toasted bread, and not in a good way. Why couldn’t it have been something more interesting like an ensalada or rice bowl?

    On the plus side, I think I made new friends via tumblr with a nice queer lady. Always good to know more queer ladies. On the other hand you know what’s not fun? Paying money to get the brake pads replaced on a car(my parents) that’s lease is up next month. Price was better than I expected, for a small-ish German suv so there’s that. But, I did get half a day off. I was able to go to a shoe store during that time. They had nothing I liked for hiking/running; but, on the positive the woman working there didn’t point me to the men’s section(I was sans make-up wearing pants+plaid shirt), so that’s a win.

    Saw this all over, as I was walking the streets as the car was being fixed. I’m sure more of this type of stuff will pop up if he wins the Republican nomination.

    Thank you for viewing and reading my post. Have a positive weekend!

    • You work with your father? I work with my father too! At the same company, and he’s got some sort of title–it’s been weird. What’s it like to work with yours for you?

      • Yes, I do as we own a business technically together, in a building we are part owner of with a few family members.

    • I’m having a private giggle because the root of pendejo is pectiniculus which is vulgar latin for pubic hair, but what is the thing on his head?

      I mean it’s not only insult that basically means idiot/dumbass etc. that a has root to vulgar latin for things from the groin region. Just the fact pendejo is connected to hair of all things and this is Trump with that unknown thing where his hair should be.
      Just xD

        • Nah it’s probably the fact it’s a common Hispanic-American spanish insult, but we can still enjoy the coincidence. Pendejo may also mean pubic hair in spanish too but I’m not 100% sure.

          Linguistical etymology can be kinda tricky when you’re not fluent or native to the language the word you’re researching.

          In Cajun French and possibly Louisiana colonial couillion is like foolish idiot or dumbass. But Continental French it’s much meaner.
          Like fucking idiot or something.

          Pendejo could be pubic hair in Castilian spanish, but it could be that too in New World spanish and functions like anus or asshole in english does. Is name of part but also functions strongly as an insult.

          But I dunno.

          I do know for certain the word pendejo was used in Cheech and Chong for a prank which kinda came back and bit Cheech in the ass. :D

          • Pendejo is dumbass, idiot, asshole, and jackass all interchangeably. Well, at least in my area. I find it interesting that words can develop different meanings and evolve into brand new words. If pendejo came from a word that means pubic hair, it just makes it more insulting. I think it would help to study indigenous dialect too when it comes to spanish. My fiance is Puerto Rican and I Mexican and we are amazed by how our Spanish is different because of our indigenous roots

          • Medium insult to cuss then?

            By indigenous dialect are you talking like the influence of Nahuatl on Mexican Spanish? Because indigenous variables in dialects make me squee.
            The influence on structure and so many many things.

            Cajun French has Houma elements in it and possibly another tribe too, people never seem to talk about that, but it’s also a dying language. So there’s not much talking to begin with.

            I heard mostly Honduran Spanish as a child and the disappearance of vos in academic setting was odd.

    • I’m impressed by your new tumblr friend! I never understand how people connect through it.

      • I like to see who is following/reblogs from me(partially to blog out trans fetish blogs). Notice a few things(like location, and interests) and started chatting with the person. Tumblr has made it easier since introducing proper messaging really.

  24. All things considered, its been a pretty good week.
    Had to snooze through my history classes for the ten millionth time. So very boring. On the bright side, I have figured out the perfect way to not pay attention in class, while appearing to pay very close attention: write fiction in my notebook. It works very well, until I actually have to know anything about western civilization.
    But next week is break week, so that’s good.

    Also, tomorrow is my day off from work, so that is also good. But the guy I work with has the day off today, so I’m going to have to milk 85 angry cows all by myself. Fun times.

    Its way to warm in Maine right now. I have a colleague who likes do deny climate change, and it is starting to get kind of entertaining to watch him come up with new ways to not acknowledge the strange weather.
    Mostly he sounds kind of like this: “Just remember kids: climate change isn’t real, and there was a winter like this back in 1756! My grandpa told me all about it. Also the democrats are trying to destroy the country, and Obama is a terrorist.”
    Oh well.

  25. I’m so glad it’s Friday! It’s been a crazy stressful week at work. Systems breaking for stupid reasons and they all need to be fixed yesterday, working late to fix them and because deadlines, and stupid people trying to abuse the tiny amount of power they think they have. Yesterday I measured a system upgrade in the number of Thin Mints I ate while doing it instead of time. (It was only three) All that to say, banana bread sounds really good right now. :)

    Lain, I love a cappella music. Glad to hear it’s nothing like Pitch Perfect for your group.

    ON the bright side it has been super warm in Baltimore this week. I got to break out some new dresses and ditch the tights. Hoping to spend a little time outside this weekend and enjoy the weather.

    • the first time it’s warm enough to wear dresses without tights feels like a breath of fresh air, right?? glad your super stressful week is over and you can enjoy the beautiful weather :)

  26. Hello, Alaina (or Lain, if you prefer that)!

    I was born in the South, but like you, I never want to leave it. Come to think of it, I’ve never really left it. =)

    I guess my favorite movie Shakespeare play adapted into a movie is also Hamlet, because I can’t think of any other one that I’ve ever seen.

    It’s warm here also. No spring break for me, just work. And then more work. On the plus side, it’s Friday! I got “White Night” for PS4 today, and I’m going to play this weekend.

    I don’t have a dog (my apartment wouldn’t allow it), but I do have a hamster! He has a large cage with plastic tunnels attached that he can run around in. I also give him small bits of veggies and fruits sometimes. He stuffs them in his cheeks, and it’s really cute! He’ll also shred toilet paper to make a nest with.

  27. Also, I just changed my name and pronoun on Facebook. Not sure what kind of reactions that’s going to get. Wish me luck!

  28. I had midterms this week and my spring break isn’t until late March and the only thing I’m 100% sure on is Spanish. Got a B on the written portion and I know I aced the oral portion. Never have I appreciated how much hearing Spanish as a child and being the right age to enjoy the Latin Explosion in the US mainstream music scene may have done for my speech skills until I heard some pobrecito pronounce Padre as “paydrey”.

    I’m ahead on the coursework for math so while I may not have an actual break I can kinda chill this weekend.

    Hey Right Lain, once for academic credit I got to make 2 collages. One was a multimedia of the Millias Ophelia. Her dress was made of black and white print outs of Ophelias from film and stage, her hair was embroidery floss. The plants green card stock and the water was distressed tracing paper.
    Um the other was a frag grenade made up of black boots I gathered from polyvore on cold press board that I roughly painted in my favourite shade of red. People tend to like that one the best, but my favourite is the Ophelia.

    I’ve been to Connecticut and can guess multiple reason you’d like to stay in the South.

    Oh and thank you again for sharing jolloff with us.
    It made my Christmas, like set the tone for self made joy.

    In weird news I have complete power over Elder Furthark runes as an alphabet. I can write latin word, spanish words and english words using it as an alphabet off the top of my head. My ability to remember how each of them is pronounced is getting there.
    Also have a come up with a word to for the 2nd of witching I do; galdrkona.

    Northern heathenry has plenty of heteropatriarchal white power jerkface idiots and I seem to be designed to oppose them and bring the queer back Odin’s character.

    • that Ophelia collage sounds so amazing!! and yikes for weird spanish pronunciations! i still hear people say hhhhacer with a super strong h in front and it makes me so sad lol

      • I do so love that collage and wish I had portfolio worthy documentation of it.

        H is silent.
        It’s not complicated, but I think past a certain age there’s a cognitive dissonance at recognising a letter in the latin alphabet is not gunna come out the same as one’s 1st or primary language.
        Like yeah you realise there’s difference but cognitively it don’t register or stick when you try to read or say.

        It’s like the existing software can’t process and display it but the upgrade failed.

        And I’m just talking about remembering what is silent and not even what goes bounce or rolls.

        But the ll misprounced “l” thing gets me in a way the H thing does not cause ever body and their grandma can say torilla correctly but not calle? That software is installed and works fine. It’s silly.

          • All the terrible road, automotive operation,car racing, checkout stations sex puns and analogies you could make.

  29. Is anyone else here solar powered? We’re having the first sunny day in a week here, and it’s made *such* a huge difference in my mood and energy levels. I actually want to do things, which is nice.

    Another thing that helped my mood? Finding out I’m going to Paris at the end of May! I can’t wait!

    Random aside: I’m working on translating stuff for a fast-food company at the moment, so I’m majorly craving a burger and fries. Must… resist…

    I was going to write this comment in sonnet form, but it turns out I am a shitty poet despite being a Language Professional(TM).

    • I always feel like I’m photosynthesizing when I’m in the sun, especially after a lot of cloudy weather. Amazing how much of a difference it can make!

    • Paris!! Also, I love the idea of humans photosynthesizing. i honestly feel like my cells are waking up when it’s sunny outside if that’s something i could feel.

  30. This was the hardest last week of classes ever! I still have three papers to write for finals next week but my brain is so done. This whole week I was getting maybe 5 hours of sleep and not eating well. But last night I fell asleep at 10:30ish and didn’t wake up till noon today. I am taking a day for doing nothing before jumping into finals
    Once the term is done, I’m going to clean and rearrange my apartment (and life in general). I recently found a beautiful retro dining table on etsy and I can’t wait to get it and feel like a real adult. I also am hoping my roommates move out soon, cause I really really don’t like them. Once they leave I can rearrange the whole apartment and decorate. Hopefully soon!!!!

    • cleaning feels so good–especially when the space is alllll yours! i’m excited for you to hae that opportunity soon! keep pushing the semester is almost overrrrrr!!

  31. I need texting help. Like, what are those little yellow things and how do you send them? (OK, I know they are emoji. But how do you know when to use them? Put them on your phone? Thanks…)

    All other “how to successfully communicate via text” advice welcome, as well. Needed might be more accurate, actually.

    • There is currently a large dog head on my lap. She **needs** attention, and is about to try launching her entire rather large self at me because she’s been so very lonely today.

      And here comes the other nose. They’ve out voted me. Dog time it is as they have spring fever with the emergence of the smells. All the smells and the critters.

    • hmm, when do i use emojis??? a lot when flirting. but also, silly ones like the poop emoji or the pizza emoji when i’m texting friends. they’re like an extra *oomph* at the end of a message i think? Go with your heart! when you’re like, “words won’t do” add an emoji!

      • So, that “a lot” and flirting. Tell me more about that. I’m failing a bit at that. And by a “bit”, I mean entirely. As in, I resorted to pen and paper. Because that, that I know how to do.

    • Personally, I tend to use emojis as a sort of stand-in for facial expressions. So if you’re saying something happy you use a :), if you’re angry/frustrated you use a >:( and so on. There’s even a middle finger one now, which is very useful…

      As for putting them on your phone, if you have an iPhone it’s under Settings>General>Keyboard. Hit “Add Keyboard” and select the “Emoji” option. Then when you’re typing, hit the little globe and you’ll get all the emoji options.

    • I like to think of emojis as the Silent Bob of texting…eschewing the extravagance of words in favor of conveying your thoughts and emotions more efficiently:?

      PLUS they’re a super fun way to emphasize what you’re saying!!! ??? ? ? ??

      • I love the Silent Bob of texting! Every once in a while I get really into it and try to tell a story with emojis.

        @smb4948 my old phone (just got a new one last weekend!) didn’t have yellow emojis, only a handful of weird ones. I never figured out how to add emojis–it was a pretty old phone. How did we even live five years ago??

  32. I loved the intro. Kiwis and sesame seeds? That’s so fancy. I’m allergic to plain ol’ raw carrots and potatoes (but only in their raw form), so sometimes I leave the room when they’re boiling or else it’s like pollen season all over again. Which is about to explode, alas… I’m bracing myself for it. No pets, either, on account of the allergies. But you know, I think allergies can be beaten; people can beat anything! So one day I’d like to have a cockatoo who will dance with me to Beyonce, you know? I think we’d have such a grand time. But your cats, Anya and Buffy, I love that! I’m thinking about embarking on another Buffy marathon, I think it’s time.
    I don’t ordinarily comment as much or as freely, but frankly, my birthday is coming up this next Monday, and I barely have any friends, so that has me a little worried; 15 women who unconditionally support you? Wow. I can’t even imagine, except now I know it’s a possibility out there in the Universe, so that expands my scope of possibilities for this life.
    Nice getting to know you, Lain!

    • happy almost birthday!!! I hope one day you beat your allergies and get a cockatoo to dance to Beyonce with. sounds like the honest to goodness dream! nice getting to know you!

    • I wish you a happy birthday! (Thats probably still a bit early, desipite the time shift) I hope you have a wonderful day on monday! I´ve watched many cockatoo videos on youtube recently (kind of because I´m planing on getting bourke´s parekeets soon)- they are so awesome! (In case you ever want to see something similarily cute, you can search for videos of budgies taking a bath…that always makes me happy. :) The comment section of this open thread is the first time ever commenting anywhere for me… so I feel a bit/very new at it. But I still wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Take care!

  33. I’m invariably really late to these because I teach on Fridays, but OH WELL. Anyway, I’ve got a question and hopefully the collective powers of Autostraddle can help me out. I’m teaching creative writing to high schoolers and what I have them read is ever-evolving, and basically I am on the hunt for more LGBT authors with short stories I can teach. This is especially true for any authors who are trans or genderqueer. Help?
    Also I feel guilty for not being able to think of more myself. But I feel like all my searches just lead to stories centered around queer sex and that’s not really something I can use. I am in a pickle and would appreciate any and all suggestions or links.

    • @phoebejune Maybe The World and Other Places by Jeanette Winterson? Or (Re)Sisters? If you were looking for queer graphic novels, I could definitely help you out. Can’t believe I can’t think of more lgbt short stories, as I am a big fan of both queer writing and short stories–maybe I just haven’t had much overlap. If I think of anything else I’ll let you know!

      • Thanks! I can’t believe I didn’t know Jeanette Winterson had a book of short stories. Probably because I can’t get it through my library, that would explain it. Gotta find a workaround there… Anyway, I am also very surprised at myself for how difficult I’m finding this, since I also like queer stuff and short stories. As for the graphic novels…I can’t use them in class but you should tell me anyway because I’d love to read more than I have so far!

        • Yeah?? Ok let’s see…Fun Home, Honor Girl, Supermutant Magic Academy, Lumberjanes…a bunch of others that aren’t perfect, but still wonderful and/or important to me for some reason. I’ve only been seriously reading them for a couple years, but I’m hooked! If you’re really interested, you can look at my goodreads:
          I was actually just thinking I’d like to follow some AS people on goodreads!

          Oh also, if your library doesn’t have that book (or any other book you want to read), you could ask if they have an Interlibrary Loan program. That’s how I read most of Jeanette Winterson’s stuff.

          • Ooh thanks! The only one of those I’ve read is Fun Home. I have, however, read it like 4 times so I think it balances out. And we do have interlibrary loan, I’ve just been resisting getting an account because late fees are the bane of my existence and they’re even higher with anything that comes through interlibrary loans. Probably in order to discourage the likes of me from doing exactly what I always do, so I can’t REALLY blame them. As for goodreads…I’m always tempted to get one cause I love seeing what people read, but I cannot stop myself from reading terrible reviews of good things and getting angry. (To be fair I do this everywhere and sometimes they’re hilarious. Like “I was board.” Also, “too much Shakespeare.”) Anyway, thank you! I put Honor Girl on hold.

    • ALI SMITH ALI SMITH ALI SMITH is really great and has a few collections of short stories, e.g. First Love and Other Stories. She’s cis, but gender does feature in some of her work, like in her novel How to Be Both.

  34. I don’t know how to sum up my week except it’s been weird it being so nice and balmy. I actually took my dog for a long walk and didn’t hustle him to finish his business but let him lead me around the ‘hood.

    Went on a mini Goodwill shopping spree and I got a bunch of new books including a 1977 edition of “The Simarillion” with a really nice cover. I don’t know what it is about getting a physical copy of a book that just makes me feel really content and whole. I mean, I don’t mind reading e-books but just having a physical book and the smell of the pages and the fact that secondhand books sometimes have bent pages or pen marks or highlighted passages used to annoy me (it does sometimes if the notes in the margins are really stupid) but now it feels like taking in a lost animal and giving it a nice warm home.

    So for about a couple months, I’ve had sister missionaries come over to my house. I did kind of avoid them but gradually found myself warming to them a little and feeling a little conflicted about it. I haven’t considered myself part of the LDS church for quite a while (in fact, I take pride in calling myself a Jack Mormon) but I did enjoy the discussions we had. I definitely remember when I was a member studying certain things but never in any great depth so my memory of some things is vague or foggy. I felt bad brushing them off every time because despite not really believing in it anymore, they were nice to me and they said I had “good insights” (I am good at reading comprehension and interpreting text. it really has nothing to do with “faith”) Mostly I felt bad about lying about myself or reducing my whole range of interests to a small fraction. Definitely when I was baptized at 8 and up until about 12 or 13 I wasn’t sinful so I didn’t feel guilty about anything, since the whole whirlwind that was my puberty of realizing I was attracted to men and then women, I would have to pretend all of not church appropriate interests didn’t exist (including all my fanfiction ~_~)
    But the fact that I was actually considering it made me feel terrible, if for no other reason than I feel cut off from all my irl friends and I miss that.
    The other night was their last night visiting me and they wanted to take a picture with me and I just had a guilty feeling in my stomach that I let myself get carried into the church stuff just to be included. They gave me their email addresses and I gave them mine but I haven’t really emailed them back yet just because I don’t know what to say. It is easier to express myself through writing what I want to say but I’m afraid something will slip out that will make them think less of me.
    Tonight there were two new missionaries I met with and we really had nothing to talk about. They must have been really new because they were really stilted and awkward. I must have liked the other two sister missionaries so much because…as dowdy as they were, they seemed genuine and nice and it was easier to open up to them, even if I got their hopes up that I was going to come to church on Sunday (which I never did)

    Other than that…waiting on some online purchases to come in the mail. When is my t-shirt coming? D:

  35. Hi, Lain it’s so nice to meet you! literally as I’m reading your post I am getting more and more excited because I love acapella, my mom went to UNCG so I’m like fINALLY A COLLEGE I’ve heard of! AND ALSO i love one of the pieces you wrote and like even though I’m not seeing you face to face I’m still like starstruck and the end.

    Hi, everyone!!

    I think I said last week that I was admitted to the LAMBDA Literary Retreat and I got my fundraising info yesterday, so if you guys feel like reading about it and/or spreading the word, I definitely would appreciate it! (

    I’ve been having a really solid week? Like, I’m a bit sad cause one of the people at work is kind of really mean to me, and it started out as a joke but like now I’m just tired and like please stop calling me a bitch and a motherfucker and telling me you fucking hate me cause like it’s too much and I should not be this stressed making a damn salad. So that’s a bit rough, but nowhere near as bad as like anything I’ve experienced before, so it’s okay! I got to hang out with my friends last week and I read Juliet Takes a Breath which, I am not even kidding, has changed my life for the better. For some reason that book reminded me that libraries are a thing? And so I got a library card and I’ve read seven books since Saturday and I’ve done like nothing else cause I’m just like I CAN READ AND LIFE IS SO WONDERFUL WHEN I DO THAT SO IMMA KEEP DOING IT (really there was a whole thing about my childhood that made me block out libraries, but since I’ve been going back, memories have been trickling back in, but it’s kind of really good/not as scary as I thought it’d be which makes me think that maybe I’m healing?) but I forgot I had a class and also this advising thing I’m doing this week (which I’m SO nervous about but also really excited but also SO NERVOUS) and apps and things but still it was lovely while it lasted, and like I don’t even need to be reading all the time, just going through the catalog of books they have online makes me so so happy. And just, I have so many feelings about that book and I’m trying to find part of my chill about it but it’s just so nice being so excited about something and like…not ruining it. It’s magical like no wonder people are always trying to be happy this shit is lit.

    So I saw my friends Saturday! And one of them kind of pulled me out of funk during work on Sunday (two people aren’t big fans of me and I can’t like exactly leave) and just talking to her for a moment reminded me I don’t want to make other people feel the way these two make me feel, and that just really helped me a lot not just that day but like every day since? And that’s pretty good.

    And one of my friends came back from college for spring break and we hung out today and I was so nervous cause I’m me, but we talked for like three hours and I haven’t laughed so hard in so long and I just feel really listened to and cared about and people are being so nice and my cousin is over and I haven’t seen him in forever and I always say he’s saved me in very important ways cause a couple of years ago I was in the worst place, and he was just really present and loving even when he didn’t know I needed it, and like he’s still such a great person and I’m so happy to know him.

    And my family seems okay and I’ve just had such a great week, like just wow. wow. Several times I’ve just thought, I’m so glad what I did back then didn’t work cause I’m so thankful to be here experiencing this right now, and it’s just a overflowing heart light feeling.

    Also, I just took some sleeping stuff cause I have work early and I’m like really anxious so sorry if none of this makes sense/is off the wall.

    I hope you’re all having a great week and have an even better weekend!

  36. Hi, I’m Lucia, and I’m new here! I was in an all-female a cappella group in high school, but they were not my people. Like someone who commented earlier, I’ve finally found my kindred spirits on my roller derby league. I’m going through a later-in-life coming-out process that’s involving getting divorced, and my roller derby friends (as well as my real-life friends) have kept me sane and grounded.

    We had a couple nice days of spring-like weather in Chicago, and now it’s chilly again. I feel like I’m being toyed with. I’m a middle school teacher, and spring break isn’t for another 2 weeks. The students and I are in a standoff to see who’s readier for 10 days with no school, them or me! I’m pretty sure I’m winning.

    I used FaceTime for the first time ever to chat with a gal pal and goddamn, modern technology is awesome. 100 years ago, we’d be writing long-ass letters to woo one another and it would take FOREVER.

  37. I finally watched Freeheld and it was so good! But I cried a lot. It made me feel kind of sad that the movie didn’t get more critical acclaim, because I think it deserved it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that perhaps it was then overshadowed by Carol (which I also loved) because obviously only one movie about queer women can be nominated for anything. Anyway it was a great movie and Ellen Page and Julianne were amazing and Steve Carrell’s character was hilarious.
    A-cappella sounds awesome! I wish I could sing but unfortunately I sound like a smurf any time I try.
    I’m excited/ nervous though because I applied for an exciting leadership position and I made it to the final round of applications. I’m not sure if I’ll actually get it but I really would like to. Although it would involve a trip to DC, which from Australia would be very expensive and missing school would be stressful. But it’s about an issue I really care about so I think it would be worth it.
    But also I was thinking about how maybe if I get to go to DC, then maybe I should go up to NY for a day to see Fun Home? The musical just really means a lot to me and it would be so exciting to see because I know it’s ending soon.

  38. hello beauties!

    checking in late today- my computer crashed! but it is at the computer doctor, and I didn’t have to wait a million years, and babe is lending me her computer for the week, because she is nice.

    my week wasn’t bad! lots of working and screening goofy queer shorts for the film festival in the fall, and I’m making this right now:

    and I wrote this and I like it:

    and babe and her little sister are talking about how to make budgets (for little sister) and we are drinking red wine and I had therapy today, and that was also excellent, I took a little break and came break and I really like my therapist!

    my hair is way too long in the back, but I’m getting a trim on Wednesday.

    generally, though, can’t complain, just chugging along, my friends all had babies and I have been holding tinies lately and that has been pretty sweet and I spent a lot of time writing in crumpet shops this week while it stormed and got sunny outside.

    honey lavender lemonade is the best! sometimes I take honey in my coffee with cinammon and that is also delicious.

  39. I don’t have a favourite Shakespeare play, but I have favourite film adaption of a Shakespeare play. It’s Titus (1999) directed by Julie Taymore, staring Jessica Lange, Anthony Hopkins, Harry Lennix and Alan Cumming.

    If you like American Horror Story and purposely mixed period art pieces that share a theme between the periods(fascism and oliarchal excess for example)you’ll probably like it, but still it’s Titus Andronicus which means hefty trigger warning for body horror, fucked upness about sexual assault survivors and blackness.
    Like in every context of the word black and Western culture.

    Though this is possibly the most affirming quote on blackness one could find in something written by a 16th century white man:

    “Coal-black is better than another hue,
    In that it scorns to bear another hue;
    For all the water in the ocean
    Can never turn the swan’s black legs to white,
    Although she lave them hourly in the flood.”

    Aaron the Moor is still such a fucked up role but “O why should wrath be mute and fury dumb?” When the world is built to fuck you, sometimes you give it the biggest middle finger back and damn nearly everything else. That what I feel Aaron embodies as a character through a modern lense and holy shit does Harry Lennix do it.

    “But I have done a thousand dreadful things,
    As willingly as one would kill a fly,
    And nothing grieves me heartily indeed,
    But that I cannot do ten thousand more.”

    Trailer for Titus:

    Some of the music:

  40. Funnily enough, I am going to see a production of Much Ado this week with a super-incredibly-cute girl. TBH I’m more excited about the date than the Shakespeare, but Much Ado is one of my faves. In other news, I saw Sleater-Kinney play last night and it was AWESOME and I made some lovely friends in the crowd – the three of us had all positioned ourselves so that we’d be standing directly in front of Carrie Brownstein! Who was incredible, of course <3


    First off: i’m really sorry i suck at ever replying to people who reply to my comments. I promise i’m not ignoring you guys & your comments mean a lot ♥ It’s just a pain trying to post on my phone & i don’t use my laptop a lot.

    Soooooooooooooo this week in Shit Happens, my mom is apparently going to have to take my father to court? When his paycheck went through, he took it all out & put it in a separate account. Mom called her lawyer & i heard what she said through my younger brother. So yippie. Huzzah. Not.

    EVEN BETTER is the fact that total assholes have been commenting on the GoFundMe i made back when my father left, because i didn’t know what else to do to help. Thankfully, i have fucking amazing friends who are supportive as hell– two of my friends even cooked three whole dishes & brought them to us. That was, uh, the same night Mom broke down crying, which was horrible. The hurt & pain & anger was painful to see & listen to.

    But, so, assholes have taken it upon themselves to comment on the page. I’ve taken screenshots, just in case, & i’ve blocked the people on Facebook. So far it’s been two– one of whom was one of my mother’s sisters. Who claimed she knows “the WHOLE story” & that i punched my father that night, which i did not & if he’s going around telling people that, he’s lying. She makes herself out to be some sort of holier than thou, selfless person. And i’m like

    And the person before was all, “This is what’s wrong with America! Nobody’s entitled to anything!” & used the phrase “true disabilities” & that i need to “grow up” because people weren’t going to support me & i’m like

    (And also, repeat the “you’re a cunt” gif. One of my FB friends called her “cunt biscuit” which i think is fucking hilarious.)

    And last night Mom asked if we’d contacted our father (neither of us had) because he had texted her about his lawyer’s phone number or something, & apparently defensively stated that he is paying the bills.

    Like, that’s nice, asshole, do you want a goddamned medal?

    So i’m just kinda like

    rn. Like when the little bitch that is an aunt commented, i was like, she better hope i never see her ugly-ass pathetic self again, because i will fuck her up~~~~~~~~ :)

    So i took screenshots, & then deleted their comments. Because i can, because the First Amendment is only so you don’t get your ass thrown in jail, & because the last fucking thing i need in my life is that bullshit & negativity.

    And besides, i’ve got fucking awesome support from my friends, so who needs those fuckfaces? My friends are fucking awesome as shit. I have the best friends.

    ^me 2 my friends♥♥♥♥♥♥

    So yeah. ʘ    ‿    ʘ

    • Mmmm screenshots.

      Biting idiots in the ass since when ever the hell social media became so widespread and people stopped thinking to filter themselves.

      Treat Yo Self can also be Protect Yo Self.

      Caitlin you have nothing to worry about.
      I am probably worse at responding than you are.

      • Right? And today a cousin decided to be a hateful, rude brat. She’s so disconnected, she thinks I’ve never had a job. LOL BITCH, LOL UR WRONG.

        Screenshots taken, comments deleted, her dumb ass blocked on Facebook.

        It’s nice to know my father’s true colors, in turning people against us.

  42. Two of my best friends and i have a whatsapp group called THE BROLY TRINITY (a name i coined myself.) It is a beautiful place of love and support especially right now when we are in different places/doing different things.

  43. Happy Friday! Did you know we might avoid antibiotic-pocalypse???

    That’s like the best news ever I love scientists if the peeps who did this are out there reading this I hug you all, kiss your feet, make you fudgy brownies with cream cheese frosting, work for you forever. You rock.

    Also in sexuality news (because it’s perpetually a Thing) I decided to get comfortable with this thing that happens where I feel like I’m switching modes all the time. I’m not bi all the time; sometimes I feel straight sometimes I feel gay, and really I could fall in love with anyone at any time but as far as attraction goes, it switches dramatically and that’s a pretty interesting weird thing that happens to me. And probably as I get comfortable with this idea the anxiety associated with it will go away and it’ll stop feeling like I’m living two separate lives, but rather that I just am what I am and I love who I love. I expect that, when I finally make it there, it’ll feel beautiful.

  44. Hello Lain, hello Everyone!
    So nice to hear about everyones week! And thank you, Lain, for hosting this Open Thread! I´ve been reading Autostraddle and these Friday Open Threads for so long and a couple of days ago, I finally set up an account and am very happy about it. I love Autostraddle so much. Also, this week I tried out two different recipes for vegan banana pancakes (one with more, one with a little less banana in it), and they were both super delicious. So to me it is really funny, that I am not the only one who tried a banana-involving recepe this week!

    As for my plants: I´ve recently started to grow a little tree nursery of my own on my window-sill… Right now the three little oak trees are still in their acorns and the maple tree is still in its seed as well – but its fun to watch them starting to put down roots. I don´t have pets but I would love to change that. Right now I´m looking for a job, so it´s maybe not the best time to get a pet. But after lots and lots of reading I´ve decided that I would love to have Bourke´s Parakeets (2 or 4) as soon as possible. They are suuper charming, interesting and cute. So I´m planing and preparing for this and looking forward to it. Also this week, I received an invitation for a job interview – I am very happy but very nervous. And I finally started to do exercises for my back again (I have back pain) and found a class for it that starts next week… So it was a pretty good week!

    I wish you all a nice rest of the weekend! Take good care of yourselves!

  45. After lurking here forever, my first ever comment is to say that I, too, am allergic to kiwis, and now I don’t feel so alone. Why the kiwis, why?

    • I just wanted to say “Hi!” from one first time commenter (is that the right word?) to another! And tell you, that my mother was for a long time allergic to nearly all fruit, except bananas. And right now she can eat nearly everything again after changing some things about her diet. So maybe there will be a time, where you can eat kiwis again, too! :)

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