FRIDAY (GIF) OPEN THREAD: The Holidaze

Why hello, sweet sweet queermos! Today is Friday, which is best known as that day you log onto Autostraddle to chat with each other in the comments of the Friday Open Thread! We are still doing it, obvi, but my semester is ending and everything is difficult and also wonderful. What I’m saying is, I could use a laugh, you know? And y’all are the funniest, realest, most wonderful humans of all.

So I really really like the holidays. Like a lot. I have Love Actually on repeat the entirety of December, and this past week I found out my fiancée’s mom has the extended version and we are totally going to watch it together while the rest of the family judges us harshly. I’ve also been hitting the holiday playlists on Songza really hard. The Bing Crosby/David Bowie version of Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth brought tears to my eyes (though maybe that’s because I seriously needed a nap). Since I don’t work in retail anymore, I’m allowed to love the holidays again.

ian mckellen gif 1

But the holidays, even when you like them, aren’t all reindeer games. We had a memorial service for my fiancée’s grandmother last week, right after Thanksgiving. That was kinda rough. And my semester is coming to a close, so that means I have one massive final project due and I’m feeling the “you’re not smart enough” voice start to yell in the back of my head. Sometimes telling the voice in the back of your head that it’s spouting some bullshit is really hard, ya know? Plus my family lives far enough away that I don’t get to see them on Christmas Day (but near enough that I do get to see them right after Christmas). I dunno, I really love my parents and sometimes I cry a bit when they’re not close enough to have dinner with me. And also! The world seems to be going to hell, doesn’t it? To Hades in a handbag.

ian mckellen gif 2

In short, the holidays are a weird emotional soup. So I figured we’ll play a game to distract us from our feelings. What’s the gif that best represents your current holidaze? The best of the daze? The worst of the daze? The “I am definitely not doing anything other than watching Love Actually” kinda daze? Give me the status of your holidaze in gifs, my friends. And I will give you mine. In fact, I will give you multitudes.

Just after finals:

alcohol gif

 

 

When my fiancée’s family makes fun of me for wearing my unicorn onesie on Christmas morning:

ralphie gif

 

 

All other times:

adventure-time-christmas

What you don’t know is that they’re watching Love Actually. Isn’t it sad that I used a Love Actually gif in my last gif thread and therefore cannot use one again?

GIVE ME THE GIFT OF GIFS, GAY ONES! HAPPY HOLIDAZE, B*TCHES.

Amy Poehler gif 1

amy poehler gif 2


 

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A.E. Osworth is part-time Faculty at The New School, where they teach undergraduates the art of digital storytelling. Their novel, We Are Watching Eliza Bright, about a game developer dealing with harassment (and narrated collectively by a fictional subreddit), is forthcoming from Grand Central Publishing (April 2021) and is available for pre-order now. They have an eight-year freelancing career and you can find their work on Autostraddle (where they used to be the Geekery Editor), Guernica, Quartz, Electric Lit, Paper Darts, Mashable, and drDoctor, among others.

A.E. has written 542 articles for us.

190 Comments

  1. I usually really love the holidays too – but my girlfriend and I are both dealing with divorced parent drama which has both of us feeling more like this:

    It’s ok though. We’re going to have all of the fun. We don’t have to take shit from anybody.

  2. my fam lives super far away…I’m in Texas, they are in Ohio. I saw them for Thanksgiving, which was awesome! but can’t afford to fly twice in less than a month. so I’m going to my friends/ex-girlfriend’s family’s for Christmas (we dated for six weeks shut up) (it’s complicated ugh)

    I’m pretty lonely and grumpy lately, which is the worst! and I’m all like ahhh you’ll be alone forever! which is also the worst. but, I’m gonna send out cute Christmas cards with me and my kitty cat in front of my awesome rainbow light Christmas tree. and my office is doing a secret santa thanks to me :) anddd…I don’t know. mostly feeling grumpy right now but I wanted to be included.

    love you all. merry holidays.

    • I’m sorry that you are feeling lonely and grumpy. Those don’t sound like fun feels to have right now. Here’s a gif I picked out especially for you because we are all siblings in homogayness/Autostraddle:

      adventure time because of course

      But I love you’re sending awesome Christmas cards. I love snail mail, but I haven’t picked out ANY Christmas cards to send yet! I fear I am too late to get everything together.

  3. I am going to a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert tonight…so this is where I’m at:

    We go every year, a girl’s night out with the women in my family. So we’re gonna get drunk and watch dudes with really long hair headbang along to Christmas songs :P.



  4. So I’m not super enthusiastic about Christmas – I don’t mind it, it just wasn’t a huge deal when I was growing up so I don’t snap into Christmas mode as easily as most people I know. BUT: I am super excited to see my girlfriend in a couple of weeks for Christmas – first time spending the holiday with her and her family, and also my first American Christmas. I hear there will be cookies.

    In the meantime, I have two more weeks of trying to convince my students that ‘but Christmas!’ is not an adequate reason to just play games every lesson.

    In other news, yesterday I marathoned all of Carmilla (two sessions either side of work) and oh my gosh, how have I not watched it before?

  5. I feel pretty good about presents and food and shenanigans, though I feel a little bit like this about family time:

    I am underemployed lately so like, most of my time is free time, but having gf around more will be nice, we will probably be cozy and it’ll be like this.

    Generally tho, I am pretty lukewarm about the holidays. I am definitely in the part of being old where there is some awkwardness about whose family gets how much time, and people get stressed out and drunk, and it is a lot of money and worry to have a Very Specific Experience, and I feel like this.

  6. Now I had to look up pictures from the Grey’s Holidaze episode from Season 6 and the Grey’s Christmas episode from Season 2 (which I haven’t seen yet).

    This is what I want all of my holidays meals to be like.

    And Callie and Arizona should fix every holiday meal for me in all of their glorious beauty and hotness.

    And this image gives me all of the magical Christmas feels from childhood.

  7. I can’t really think of any gif ideas, but the holiday savings I am seeing all over the internet has me thinking of getting one of those Chromebox size pcs and use it to watch Netflix, and all the queer videos I find on the internet. The thought of such idea has me a bit excited in an otherwise down time for me. I just really can’t wait to move out and start transitioning. I would so wear an ugly Christmas(well Chanukah for me) skirt.

  8. Hi everyone!!! Was your week awesome? Did your hair survive?

    My swim lessons are going swimmingly. Lol. I love being able to practice after work at the gym.

    My wife has been unable to take a decent pic of the cat because it seems to be courting a female cat next door. They grow up too fast. So, did you guys get any good cyber Monday deals? Im still debating on a gopro.

    Anyway. Look at the new metal earth models!! I have 2 more to go with star trek. There are new Star Wars too!! And some gamer-y ones.

  9. The winter break is actually a freeing time for me. My kid flies away to spend the holidays with her other parent, and my own parents, having no grandparental responsibilities to keep them here, spend a couple of weeks in their own home.

    I love all three of them to bits, but having the house to myself means that I can engage in adult social activities, presenting as myself, without worrying about (or worrying) any of them.

  10. IT HAS A BEEN A SHIT WEEK I STOPPED ASSUAGING THE WHITE GUILT OF MY SOME OF MY WHITE FRIENDS AND IM TAKING A BREAK FROM TWO OF THEM.

    I needed to get that out and I’m eating cookie butter from the jar. I am happy to be doing some volunteer work for my local chapter (NYC) for GLSEN Saturday and hopefully this should give me some mental space from everything that happened this past week.

  11. Yaaaay open thread, the only thing my brain can latch ontooo

    So i got discharged from the day hospital yesterday, & i felt all floaty & i gave my nurse, social worker, & doctor/therapist blend cards saying thank you for everything (esp. my Dr who was with me since inpatient round 1), & everyone sounded like they had so much faith in me & i was like

    And today i slept in

    like i couldn’t get myself to get up.

    And i haven’t eaten a real meal all day, & i tried to clean but barely did anything, & i’ve been staring at Facebook for too much, & sitting in my room like

    And i’ve just been feeling really flat & sad & i’m judging myself like

    and i feel like nothing’s changed & i’m so frustrated at myself right now, & feeling very claustrophobic. Also i’ve been listening to Mal Blum almost all day (with the exception of an MST3K ep) because their music makes me feel comfortable. And wearing my Camp hoodie because it’s soft and makes me feel comfortable. And i feel like a dumbbutt over all this.

    ……and it’s 20 days till my birthday yike.

    • Aw, Caitlin! Don’t expect yourself to be totally awesome all at once–it’s a stressful time and you just got out of the hospital and it’s totally okay if you accomplish one or two or no things in a day for a while. Let yourself heal and go at your own pace and also listen to all the Mal Blum because Mal Blum is the best. <3 <3 <3

      Also I'm feeling you on the birthday thing yikes yikes yikes

      • i’m just so upset haha now that i’m out of the day program, i have nothing to do monday-friday, i have nowhere to go, nothing to do, nothing to fill my time. and it’s frustrating because the program taught me all these coping skills & things & instead of being able to use them, my first day out turns out to be a bad day & my mind is overthinking (i am currently convinced that people actually don’t really like me because they never text me first/text me back) & i feel like crying & it’s like great, a+ self, first day out & you’ve already totally failed. you can’t actually cope worth a damn.

        i just thought things would be different & they’re not, & it’s messing with me a lot.

        which is why i have “Fine!” practically on loop.

        sorry for the word vomit :c

        • No need to apologiiize

          Because you’re awesome and you’re going to be okay and we’ll all believe in you for you, until you believe in yourself. But we’ll still believe in you then, too!

          YOU GOT THIS! <3 <3 <3

    • Can you coax another human to get you some soups and put them in microwave safe containers so you can just pop those in the and have food quickly without much stress or effort?

      If you can even eat them, I do not presume to know the nature of your hospitalisation or illness.

      Hoodies are the best and whee Gregory Peck.

    • hey dude be easy on yourself <3

      rome wasn't built in a day, etc

      (also if it makes you feel any better, I've had "clean your room" on my to-do list for like the last four months. sometimes life's just like that. i've been trying real hard to learn to acknowledge the shit i do manage to accomplish instead of hating myself for what i don't do.)

      also also mal-blum-listening high-five

    • Hang in there! I know it can be a really emotional time when you just get out of the hospital. It’s almost like leaving a safe “bubble” – which is freeing but also scary. Be gentle on yourself. You’ve got this! Sounds like you have the right attitude.

  12. “I have one massive final project due and I’m feeling the “you’re not smart enough” voice start to yell in the back of my head.”

    SAME. Until Monday when I handed in my project and could finally hear the people who had been saying “you have felt like this before and you have also met the deadlines and done well before which means you are smart enough”. It’s so hard to remember it when you are feeling ALL THE STRESS but even if a bit of your brain can know that, it can help!

    Good luck. It’s gonna feel so good when you’ve finished!

  13. This is my first time trying to do this whole “embedded images” nonsense.

    So this week because of 3 days more of classes and 1 test, 3 papers, 1 poster presentation are due and then I still have 3 finals WHEEEEE

    and there’s a little of this

    And I really don’t have gifs about holidays because…
    1.) Existential dread for dealing with extended relations who, best case scenario, are gonna start pretending I don’t exist once they get official conformation that I’m hella queer and trans.

    2.) Slightly less existential dread for the 10000 of questions my mom has about queerness in general and my queerness specifically and like I’m VERY GLAD I was wrong about her having issues with it don’t get me wrong, I don’t want have a month long queerness 101 with her for all of winter break. It’s fucking exhausting.

    2.) Delirious happiness in the fact that there is a month where I don’t have to do ANYTHING for the first time in a year. Winter break=no classwork. Only having a seasonal job that’s out of season=no work (not that I don’t need the money, but I need the downtime way more)

    3.) Two+ weeks to just spend ALL THE TIME with my best friend. I have missed this human immensely. I have also missed his dog immensely and I will proceed with all the cuddles (especially since my/my parents’ dog mostly just tolerates me and my friend’s dog loves me a ton).

    4.) There is a holigay autostraddle meetup in the nearby city and I think I’m going to go? So I’m a little nervous (because y’all are fantastic) but also a bit excited meet new people.

    5.) I think some of my friends from high school that I keep marginally in touch with are planning on being around and having parties and things. Which it would be nice to see these people, but I’m not sure how they’ll go and might end up making me feel shitty bc of misgendering and stuff/there will be buckets of cis straight people and I’m likely to be the only queer one there.

    • DEFINITELY GO TO THE HOLIGAY MEETUP!

      Seriously, Autostraddle readers and staffers are some of the coolest people. Everyone is doing such great things and has really interesting stuff to talk about. PLUS everyone is super super nice and also wants to talk to you. It’s the best.

  14. I am fortunate to have no family obligations for the holiday season; I spent Thanksgiving in my pajamas eating ice cream and watching cartoons, and it was pretty glorious. I plan to do the same for Christmas.

    In (un)related news, I have my first ever girlfriend who isn’t a total secret I can’t talk about with anyone, and it’s pretty exciting. I’ve never been a couple in public with anyone before and guys, I have so much to learn. I am so grateful for Autostraddle at this point in my life, because I pretty much read the appropriate articles here for every minor life situation we approach. I am learning so much! Is there some kind of queer badge I get for relationshipping correctly? :D

  15. I loooove the holiday season. I’m all about christmas music, holiday movies, hot chocolate…
    The girl I was dating and pretty into is swamped with school so we’re putting things on hold, which pretty much means we’re kind of done, right? So that’s a bummer. I’m cheering myself up by watching feel good/cutesy/hopeless romantic movies. So far I’ve watched Bridget Jones 1 and 2. Let me know if you have any suggestions

    • Aww, noo, it doesn’t have to be “done,” yeah? She just needs a break to be able to get herself through a very busy, probably rough, time, & maybe she feels like she can’t handle a relationship at the same time. “On hold” doesn’t have to mean “done forever”, & hopefully after she’s less swamped, she’ll come roll back over to you to watch cutesy movies with you. ♥

    • The Bridget Jones movies are great for situations like these because they make you laugh to get your mind off things! I’ve been turning to 10 Things I Hate About You and Stranger Than Fiction lately. Not at all holiday-related but still fun :)

  16. I’m so oblivious to the holidays this year. My play is going up next month, and auditions/rehearsals start soon, so that’s where my mind is. I started an Indiegogo campaign on Tuesday to help fund my play (which can be found here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/pancakes-cigarettes-at-dixon-place/x/7560603). If you’re feeling in the giving mood, I’d appreciate anything. :)

    I’m currently at work…yet again- 2 show day, as usual. I’m doing rewrites for my play and freaking out (excited and scared) that some of my most vulnerable work is going to be presented to the world. Ahhhh!

  17. Christmas/the holidays:

    You guyssss I am so so very stressed out right now. I have so so much to do. I have two parties to do next week for work all on my own, a final and a makeup test and a paper and a project for school, and I’ve got to keep track of ALL the work stuff this week because my mum’s out of town (in FRANCE. WITHOUT ME.) so we can’t go halfsies on work correspondence like we usually do, and of course the world is extra extra terrible right now. Also I need to get health insurance, schedule a gyno appointment, and do all my holiday/christmas shit. Also I’m turning 26 on the 23rd and I am feeling old and scared and vaguely useless, which is ridiculous. Fun tiiiimes.

    Since my usual coping method is DO NOTHING DENY EVERYTHING PRETEND I HAVE NO PROBLEMS until everything catches up with me and then I fail a class or get in trouble or whatever, I am really really trying to fight my denial/procrastination impulses and it’s hard. So I am doing things, but also I am super extra stressed. Also my period just started yesterday, which was the first night I’ve gotten to stay over at Holly’s for a while. Sigh.

    As a reward for actually doing the things, though, I’m letting myself do fun things with minimal guilt! So yeah.

    Tomorrow I’m hosting an AS holigay crafting party meet up thing! I am ver ver excited but also nervous–What if no one comes? What if someone spills something all over my mother’s white couch? What if no one comes???? Did I get enough food? Do I need to buy more cider? WHat if nO ONE COMES????? Help help I AM GOING TO HAVE FUN BUT UNTIL THEN I AM GOING TO BE KINDA NUTTY

    But also: YAY YAY YAY YAY QUEER PARTY AT MY HOUSE YAY
    Yesterday Holly and I went and bought a bunch of snacks, and also tonight I’m making more knockoff samosas. Should be a good time?

    So yeah. This week I got a lot done, and I am continuing to get a lot done, and I get to hang out with queers in the morning/afternoon and some old friends that night, and I’ve done all the work stuff I can right now except make goody bags which I am about to do, and I’m good at art history so I probs won’t fail, and next week I’m going to have some rad flower pictures for you guys, and everything’s going to be okay. I think. I hope.

    Also yesterday Holly looked up at me as we were cuddling, and said “Do you want to hear the worst pet name ever?” and I said “…maybe not?” and she said “Humping Post” and started snort laughing into my boobs. So of course she’s been calling me HP and cackling ever since. I pretend to be annoyed but honestly I can’t help laughing about it either, even though it is, truly, the worst pet name.

    This week was my last lecture for the modern art history class I’ve been taking, and I am actually really sad about it! I adore my teacher and the material, and she seems to really like me even though I spend most of every class silently crying because art gives me feelings, and I am so on FIRE during every discussion–we had what she said was our most difficult compare/contrast this week, and I was the first one to raise my hand once we were done, and I started talking and she actually handed me the microphone because she said my analysis was so good. haHAHA YES I AM AWESOME but now I’m sad it’s over!! I wish I could take this class with her forever but not have to write any actual papers, just participate in discussion. That would be the best thing, possibly ever.

    On a completely different note, there was some OC straddler drama a bit ago and we had to kick someone out and now I think they’ve been messaging me on anon on my tumblr. At first I didn’t realize who it was and so it was fun, but then they sent a couple of really sexual gross ones and I realized what was going on, and now I just really really wish that wasn’t happening! Argh! I do not like it please stop! It’s really extra frustrating because I actually enjoy having my anon thing on, but now I’ve gotta turn it off just because someone can’t seem to stop being creepy. Uggggh.

    ANYWAY HERE’S SOME PRETTY FLOWERS AND SHIT


    Tulips!!


    Some cool graffiti I found in the pool parking lot!


    Peonies!! There are a lot of pretty peony pictures in this batch.


    More different peonies! All closed up in tight little balls.


    Peonies, again. How are these even real like I don’t even know?


    THEY’RE SO FUCKING PRETTY


    And finally, this very important picture of Musa helping me take another picture. Sort of helping. Not helping at all, but so cute!

    Love you guys! EXCEPT YOU, CREEPY ANON. EXCEPT. YOU.

  18. My current holiDAZE is basically this:

    Last year around this time it was:

    The weather is nicer right now but when the cold comes back I’ll be like:

    I have holiday game of my very own dear Straddleverse. The idea came to me long ago in that post about gin. If you were getting an AS staffer sock for a holiday gift what awesome socks would you get them?

    Me I’d get these for Riese:

    And these for Ali:

    Stef:

    Then my brain broke and was like introduce this game to other people ya couyon
    http://www.sockdreams.com/

    ALSO: http://www.onlinehtmleditor.net/
    because sometime a jpg thing will have weird stuff after it and you’re not sure if the picture will work.

  19. Dodging questions about getting a job/getting a Masters/the future:

    Expertly handling run-ins with old classmates back in my hometown:

    But most importantly, when I finally turn in my last assignment this quarter:

  20. I definitely love the holidaze but this is also kind of a stressful/busy time of year and I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS so half the time I’m like this:

    but also I love seeing Christmas lights and drinking hot beverages out of Christmas-themed mugs and getting into the happy holiday spirit so I also feel like this:

  21. Heyyy Queermos!!
    This holigay season is shaping up to be pretty decent. We’ve decided to throw my grandmother a surprise bday party, which is interesting because she lives in the Bahamas and we live here and so we have to plan a party without telling her while visiting her and sleeping in her house and making a lot of phone calls?

    Everytime I watch the news and/or hit up social media, I’m just like

    It’s sad I’m not even surprised by these things anymore. I guess it’s cuz I’ve been terrified for my brother every time he left the house since he was like 11 and taller than everyone else in his school. This crap is not new, it’s just now being televised and tweeted.

    BUT. I found out that the #ShutitDown folks here in Miami managed to shut down I-195, so that has me all like

    Today was the last day of class for me and my hearts this year, and I have a lot of feels. We did manage to take this awesome shot that I think should be a logo for something somewhere, dammit.

    And my class clown made me laugh with this gem as we were working on artsy things

    But! Now that I’m without work, I need a job? Because bills? And it seems like I’ll be joining the fun world of part-time retail for the holidays and that has me like

    Hair and all.

    But I’ll be fine, right?
     photo thumbs-up_zpse6532238.gif

  22. My week has not been the raddest. It’s finals here at MSU, and i’m just extraordinarily stressed about everything in the news – i want to be on the ground, participating in protests, but I can’t because i’m so busy.
    Plus, in Michigan, the house just passed a religious liberty bill. I think it’s the first time an attempt has been made to take away rights that i feel actually apply to me, and it’s fucking terrifying. (The rest of my lost rights have been taken away already, or i felt didn’t apply to me at the time of their taking.)
    I know a lot of people have it a lot worse, and i suppose i’ve gotten a glimpse into their world. And.
    Holy shit. It’s like: i can feel the wall closing in on me. I’m afraid, for maybe the second time in my life, i’m afraid, so afraid, because of how people might try to restrict me simply because of my sexuality.
    And i’m so privileged that this has happened so few times.
    Fuck. I’m sort of a mess right now.

    • I’ve been reading about that bill passing and stressing about it all day. My heart’s going out to all of you still in MI! I’m so so sorry. I remember hearing about it going around and thinking it was a horrible joke? ugh ugh ugh. Keep your head up for finals, and know that you will be done soon! Also, if you’re feeling stressed, the LGBT resource center had really lovely staff when I was at MSU. I wasn’t out at the time, but I went to RING with my transitioning roomie for moral support all the time, and it was a truly wonderful group. GOOD LUCK <3 <3 <3

      • Thanks so much y’all!! <3 <3
        I held off doing social things this week, so I've been skipping all the meetings I usually go to, but after I finish this paper, I'm going to start right up again!
        Thanks for the advice and the support! I hope y'all have a wonderful holigay!! :D

  23. It’s been a while since I’ve commented on these threads because my internet access is limited and I’ve been busy… so busy!
    I finished NaNoWriMo.
    I’m planning tattoos, and designing jewelry to order next year
    I’ve got a wish list that mostly includes sex toys (did you know Lelo has just released a new kind of Mona and Ida?)
    I’m planning to get a box of donuts before I head back to where I’m staying tonight.

    But gif wise? I’ve had kissing on my mind lately so:

  24. I always find the discussions of big holiday family gatherings a bit hard to relate to. I have never in my life spent a holiday with more than three people.

    I will probably visit my parents and brother on my weekends before or after Christmas, though Dec 25th will probably just be by myself, because of my odd work schedule. My December will be pretty socially uneventful, and I’m pretty okay with that.

    Is it sad that the majority of the Grinch gifs I found were actually quite fitting?

  25. This is how I want to be, re: my dad and my trans – ness:

    But instead, I’m feeling more like this:

    I did finally send the letter I’d written, by email instead of sending the hand written one. Something has to change, I hate visiting my parents right now.

    But, other family members are making me feel

      • He actually did reply. It was heart breaking, but he isn’t shutting me out. I’m just going to have to be very gentle. I’m able to bear pain because I can share my feelings with friends and therapists. He doesn’t do that.

        Anyway, it’s a start.

        • Dev! I’m sorry that it’s going to be hard, but glad that stuff’s happening! I know you’re going to make this work because you are awesome and smart and also super fashionable duh, but also because I feel like you have a special sort of softness, that gentleness, backed up by an iron determination. I don’t know, that’s the vibe I get from you. You got this!

          • Thank you. Some of my friends from around here said the same thing. (well not exactly, but the same sentiment) I leaned on a few friends right after I read his response because it was heartbreaking before I was able to analyze it. I also spoke to my therapist today. I’m actually doing really well, but I’m ready for yours part of transition to be over. (and other parts, like the electrolysis. I have to go to Chicago for round two this week.)

            Thanks again. Also, several of my closest friends call me Dev : )

  26. I’m so happy and shit about this I don’t know what to do with it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z33TMCuqDus

    It’s a holiday song called Santa, I Been Bad All Year that I would totally sing at the A-Camp talent show if I ever get the chance to go because my Santa Baby is good but too naughty and I would probably chicken out doing Joan Jett or Pat Bentar.

    I’m so excited cause I found it online somewhere and I can share it!

  27. Guys, my girlfriend doesn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. Or I’m breaking up with her before she can break up with me. Or something. When I said, “I think I like you more than you like me,” she said, “I need time to think about it.” :((

    It’s kind of a good in the moment distraction though because my mom fell and fractured her neck and spine and has become cognitively delayed.

    Still not drinking. Quit smoking this week. Ferociously supporting the Mr. Christie cookie company. Is there a gif for this??

    • Oh Lolau that is some heavy stuff. I am so, so sorry. Are you taking care of yourself while everything is going down? You’re wonderful and smart and I know you’ll be okay, but just remember that if you need some extra love or support or a stupid gif or distracting cat video, we’re here for you! I’m here for you. We’ve got your back, as much as a bunch of weirdos on the internet can! <3

      AND good on you for keeping with the not drinking!! And quitting smoking, too–you are rocking through this! SO so so proud of you :)

      Gif wise….


      • Those gifs were all so appropriate :)) I just needed people to be horrified with me, I guess. I’m kind of numb about it.

        The girlfriend thing is hurtful on a far lesser scale but still another notch in my dating belt that makes me feel like a total hysterectomy and associated lack of romantic/sexual desires is just not such a bad idea.

    • All of the kitten gifs ever and that one where the dog wraps theyself in a blanket and hides in their kennel.
      Because any of the gifs I have knowledge of that would fit the sort of feelings of having your support system pulled out from under you and having a loved injured to the point of cognitive damage would be from the anime Berserk and that is not something you need to see considering your stress level.
      Also some people might find image of person soaked in the blood of their enemies screaming like their heart has been ripped out and trampled upon traumatic to look at.

      So here’s a puppy clumsily trying to hug a cat:

      And the jazz hands kitten:

      That dog hiding:

      And a cat:

      My grandfather who was always larger than life at 6’3″ and fostered my thirst for knowledge when it was something that made other kids pick on me is in shitty nursing home because the treatments for cancer masking his onset of Alzheimer’s and took away his ability to swallow. And all the nice assisted living places are not “equipped” or staffed to deal with and abdominal feeding tube.

      Every time I visit is struggle not to breakdown and after I’m wreck or an edge. I want to break things. I want to destroy something, but am not a child so I watch cute animal videos, look at cute pictures, read porn, listen to gentle arias and hold who ever I trust and get together with as tight as I can.

      If your girl can’t be that person to hug you back and be there for you in your time of need. Good riddance, you don’t need a person who’s only going to be there for the fun stuff right now.

      Consider a low sugar chewing gum, the act of chewing can be comforting in itself.
      That’s all I got.

      • I am doing a really good impression of that dog right now. I smiled like an idiot at the clumsy puppy gif. Thank you.

        I work with dementia clients one on one. There are kind and unkind PSWs in every nursing home. When people lose touch with their surroundings, it’s the people who make the difference – no amount of fanciness would be very likely to change his level of comfort. I’m so sorry to hear about his loss of autonomy though. Consider sharing your arias with him. Music does incredible things for folks with dementia. That’s all I got.

        Also, I actually just bought sugar free gum. You’re a wise one. :D

        • It’s not a matter of kindness more than it is it’s matter of geriatric medicine is the bottom of the barrel after prison medicine in this country and possibly my region unfortunately. After an incident last week we’re trying to help my Gams get him into one of the ones run by Catholic Charities.
          Music that doesn’t make him think dancing seems smart, I’ll try it if I can.

          Aw shucks, I’ve just got a lot of stress experience that’s all.
          Blankets are best friends you’ll never have feed, talk to or change the batteries for. Glad the silly animals gave you a moment, I hope things get some sort of manageable or level of tolerable.

  28. SNOW! I’m excited for snow! I know, I know, you are rolling your eyes at me. But I actually love winter (at least until the beginning of February). This is my favorite time of year; the holiday season has always felt magical to me, even though I didn’t grow up celebrating Christmas and don’t celebrate Hanukkah that much anymore. I don’t really exchange gifts with anyone but my parents at this point and I’m not in school, so I don’t get off school. So I don’t really have any reason to be excited, but when I start to see all the colored lights on people’s houses and it’s cold enough to see my breath, I just get this magical feeling inside and it makes me really happy.

    • That GIF is adorable.
      I love snow as long as I don’t have to drive in it. I practiced putting on chains on dry pavement a couple weeks ago, but I really don’t want to do it while freezing my fingers off at 4:30 am while stressing about being late for work.
      But if I have no car-obligations… it’s beautiful. And I love all the lights too. I put some LED lights on my deck a few weeks ago (not really holiday themed, just to light up my stairs at night), and they make everything seem so much more cheerful and welcoming.

      • Good point about car obligations! I always forget how awful it is to have to drive in snow because I haven’t had a car in years. And in that time I’ve lived in NYC and Boston, both cities that know how to deal with snow pretty well, so I’m sure that’s influenced my continued love of it as well.

  29. I have one project due tomorrow, and there’s an Issue with it. I’ve emailed my professor, so we’ll see what he says. In the meantime, I’m doing this:

    And next week I have finals for both of my classes, so I’ll be acting like this:

    But then, the HOLIDAYS can officially begin!

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