Final Word on Tila Tequila from Dani Campbell, Autostraddle & The Publicist

DANI CAMPBELL: Even if the overall arc of A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila seemed to push gay visibility into retrograde, it did break one barrier by introducing the world to Dani Campbell. After Tila declared she just didn’t “get” or even like “masculine” girls (which was actually precisely the moment that I decided I couldn’t take one more minute of the show and turned it off, which I realize was like five minutes into the first episode of the first season), she ended up falling for one. Dani became mainstream TV’s first genuine “butch” heart-throb.

Today Dani weighs in on the Tila debacle on her myspace blog:For the last week or so, I’ve been getting inundated with calls from the press about Tila Tequila. It’s been bringing back memories, and making me think back to my time on the show. I guess the only thing I really want to say is that when I met Tila, she was sweet and down to earth – but since the day I left the set of ‘A Shot at Love’ I’ve been wondering how sincere our interactions really were… When I met her, she seemed so kind and real. I would hate to think that she’s now resorting to publicity stunts to keep herself in the public eye.” (read the rest at Dani’s myspace blog: @myspace obvs)

TILA TEQUILA: Yes, yes! We’re still talking about it. Look I just want to say something that I don’t think enough people are saying. I felt this way when Britney Spears had her public meltdown as well, which in its way was not so different, although Brit is smarter and had more supervision. (This is a great Op-Ed on the Britney situation) You also may recall that like Tila, Britney as a young girl felt comfortable with a kind of aggressive sexual com-modification that most teenagers don’t — I’m not shaming her for being sexually expressive, and I don’t believe in shaming women for anything they choose to do with their own body. But none of us know how it feels to be that sexualized to that many people at that age. It must feel very strange. And often this kind of exhibitionism is indicative of an emotional instability or budding mental illness that the public fails to notice, as the voices of the Fans (Britney is hot!) and the voices of the Puritans (She should be ashamed of herself! Women should hide their bodies! Sex is bad!) drown the moderate liberal pro-sex feminist voice that wonders if there’s something else at work emotionally.

Many famous artists & entertainers are bipolar or have experienced mania — often it’s mistaken for a show business or crazy artist mentality. Which is all well and good, until the “benefits” of the illness outweigh the danger — a.k.a., when the mind snaps from hypomania to Mania or Psychosis.

This stuff always upsets me; the way the media eats & spits out these people. So I guess since we are a part of the media now, we have a chance to provide an alternative voice. I didn’t want to because I don’t ever want to be seen as a “gossip blog” (yes, to us, that is a dirty word), but well, if you can’t tell the difference between analysis of pop culture & opinion on mishandled mainstream issues and “gossip,” then you probably won’t like this site anyhow.

Here is what we have to say about Tila Tequila, regarding her publicist dropping her, and her recent twitter activity and interviews:

Hypomania (literally, below mania): is a mood state characterized by persistent and pervasive elevated or irritable mood, and thoughts and behaviors that are consistent with such a mood state. Persons in a hypomanic state may feel like they are speeding through well-crafted thoughts and can’t slow their mind down, a decreased need for sleep, a flood of ideas, an increased desire/drive for success, pressured speech/rapid talking, inflated self-esteem or grandiosity, easy distractability and attention-deficit, obsessive behavior, poor judgment, impulsivity, can be happy but may quickly become unpleasant if they can’t get what they want, and heedless involvement in pleasurable activities (like being on tv, for tila) with a high potential for negative psycho-social or physical consequences while thinking themselves above said potential consequences.

Hypomanic people are generally fully functioning and the person knows what is real. However they can overestimate their capabilities and fail to see the risks involved in their ventures. For example, someone may suddenly decide to expand their business in a way that is not really practical or set up schemes for which they are ill prepared.

Hypomania is a feature of two mood disorders: bipolar II disorder and cyclothymia, but can also occur in schizoaffective disorder.

If left untreated, hypomania can slip deeper and deeper into mania (and sometimes psychosis), in which case, Bipolar I Disorder is often diagnosed.

Which brings us to last night …

Mania: Characteristics of mania include rapid speech, racing thoughts, decreased need for sleep, hypersexuality, euphoria, impulsiveness, grandiosity, obsessive behavior, an uncontrollably intense interest in goal-directed activities, hyper-religiosity, absentmindedness where one is unable to be aware of anything besides the flow of thoughts, talkativeness, irritability, delusions (of grandeur, potential, or otherwise), an internal pressure to keep talking (over-explanation), grandiose ideas or plans, abnormal social interaction, highly vocal arguments, and denying anything is wrong with them.

Grandiosity leads a person to have inflated self-esteem, believe they have special powers, spiritual connections, or religious relationships.

Because mania encourages high energy and decreased perception of ability to or need to sleep, within a few days of a manic cycle, sleep-deprived psychosis may appear.

Bipolar Disorder, schizophrenia, sleep deprivation, severe clinical depression and stress is known to contribute to and trigger psychotic states. A history of psychologically traumatic events, and the recent experience of a stressful event, can both contribute to the development of psychosis.

I hope someone in Tila’s life is getting her some treatment, but it seems like everyone is either attacking her on Twitter or in the media, or just abandoning her altogether. If any of her enemies really want this behavior to stop, there is a guaranteed solution: therapy, perhaps Lithium, Seroquel, Ativan, Effexor… and the professional care provided at a mental hospital. I don’t expect the Johnsons to selflessly care about Tila’s well-being at this point, but it blows my mind that the people who are looking out for their own self-interest by seeking legal and media protection from Tila aren’t pursuing the logical solution — get her to a doctor. If you truly want her to stop talking about you, Jasmine L’modelgirlhateveryournameis, this is the way to do it. The fact that you aren’t seeking this path is suspicious to me.

And; pleasant side-effect — perhaps Tila will finally get the care & help she needs and get some counseling during a trying time. She’s a human being, and in this psychological state she will not seek help herself or admit she has a problem (that’s part of the illness), and she needs rest. Otherwise she will likely become a physical danger to herself and others very, very, very soon.

That’s all. Thanks for listening.

ADAM LAMBERT: “Whataya Want From Me” video! It’s here, it’s now, get excitant!

+
DANCE: Hey New Yorkers! Autostraddle’s favorite party-starter, DJ Carlytron, is spinning tonight at RF Lounge in the West Village (531 Hudson St) from 10p – 4a AND you get a complimentary RF shot. HOT! We’re all fans of DJ Carlytron, ARE YOU?

GOLDEN GLOBES: The Golden Globe awards are coming up! Here are 20 vivid moments from the golden globes to keep you entertained while you wait.

ART CONQUERS: Twelve lesbians seeking asylum in Britain express themselves through art. “Sometimes I wonder how I got into the position of a ‘refugee’; being pitied, given handouts, being a second class citizen, labeled and displayed.”

GLEE: ‘Glee’ star signs with UMG: Matthew Morrison, the actor-vocalist who plays Will Schuester on Glee, is getting a record contract! Way to go, Mr. Scheu.

TEGAN AND SARA: New video for “Feel It In My Bones” by Tiesto featuring Tegs and Sez! (©Crystal) HOLLA GET SOME.

Riese is a Jewish lesbian and the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2618 articles for us.

91 Comments

  1. I was SO happy they FINALLY release the official Feel It In My Bones. I really like the video. They look so good. I just wish there was more dancing like Sara said there was going to be.

  2. While I definitely could see the hypomania/bipolar action happening with Tila, I think ultimately she might be the kind of girl that gives Borderline Personality Disorder such a terrible stigma. And such a cartoonishly wild, female and promiscuous characterization in popular media. Also, as a note, I would prefer she not check into my psychiatry department, assuming she veers (careens?) toward a mental health resource in the foreseeable future. I think she lives in LA, but if she makes it anywhere near the Bellevue hospital system, I’m heading West.

  3. Thank god the voice of reason. This is most definately a bipolar episode and there just seems to be no one at all looking out for her welfare. Why people would be so happy to see someone fall off the cliff face is beyond my ability to understand. Where are the minders, friends, PR people. In this take take take world, is there no room left for loyalty or compassion. Apart from everything else, she appears in her ‘normal’ state to be a kind and loving person and whatever her relationship with Casey. She at least held out a hand to someone that all of her ‘true’ friends had abandoned. No wonder these two women felt that they had found true love.. Very very sad..

    • It is very sad. It’s unfortunate I think the internet gives ill people easy access to communicating with a ton of people at the click of a button, in the old days they would’ve needed to go out to the proverbial street corner and yell at people. and maybe that helped push people into treatment quicker, or at least have less to be embarrassed about when its all said & done.

  4. That Tegan and Sara video made me so predictably giddy. Also I was watching an episode of UK Celebrity Big Brother (don’t ask) and they were playing a word scramble game and one the winning answers was Tribadism. Score one for mainstream scissoring acceptance!

  5. Dani got cuter.

    I have respect for Britney, axshully.

    Yesss, someone needs to get her something beneficial rather than attacking her.

    I wish I were 21 and back in NY, to support Carlytron.

    When @TheTeganAndSara tweeted that the video had been realized I was on UberTwitter on my blackberry and watched it immediately. Being the grubber that I am I’d already seen clips of the video as Tiesto projected it as his concert which has been put on youtube. But to see the actually video is like eye-sex!
    Plus, I really really love Feel It In My Bones. It’s my text ringtone so every time I get a text they’re an overwhelmingly giddy party in my pants.

    P.S. is Tegan gauging her ears?
    Sex.

  6. Regarding: “Here is what we have to say about Tila Tequila, regarding her publicist dropping her, and her recent twitter activity and interviews.”

    Your comments are way out of line. Not regarding TT’s total delusional behavior. However, who died and made you pope. These people barely know Tila. It is far (extremely) from their responsibilty to get TT help. If you care so much – do it yourself. That girl has pulled so much bs in such wretchid ways, hurting many people-to benefit herself no matter what. And won’t stop at that. Believe it or not, some people out there are just that cunning.

    And another thing, Brittany Spears and Tila Tequila… Two completely opposite talents. Brittany actually has some.

    • Talented or not, I think the point was that Tila was sexualized and put in the public eye in similar ways. That must be very difficult to handle and especially, IF (speculating) someone has any underlying mental instability.

      • Tila was not sexualized in any way by any indusrty folk. Tila Tequila sexualized herself – ALL BY HERSELF – She didn’t even have representation at the time. She sent out mass emails to hundreds of thousands of people (which probably should have been a loud enough call for help in itself) to ask them to friend her on myspace and then sexualized herself on there in every way possible in front of that audience. She ran her myspace – nobody else. Then used her sex to try and draw attention to no talent. What are you left with? Hmmm.

        There are a thousand things we could call, and do these days, mental instability. Every single person on the planet has some mental instability. And there are plenty of woman who use their sexuality far more artistically as they create showcasing their talent. This is far from grounds for being very hard on someone. It’s what they do amongst many other things. Big difference between Brittney Spears sexualizing and Tila Tequila’s. HUGE.

        Overall I don’t know who you think we’re talking about. She falls onto about the felebrity d-list. Her mental instabilty believes differently.

        • Yes, Tila chose to sexualize herself like that. That’s part of the point — that women who WANT to do that to the extent that Tila did it often (NOT ALWAYS) have other things going on mentally & emotionally that in retrospect, were warning signs of a mental illness. I’m not saying all women who sexualize themselves are sick — FAR FROM IT. But I think a lot of things about Tila have been pointing towards instability from the get-go.

    • nobody at autostraddle wants to be the pope!

      britney and tila’s talents were not compared here, nor are they relevant to the subject at hand.

      these people are taking the time & effort to press charges against tila, threaten tila with legal action and go to the media to respond to tila’s allegations. also she is constantly pointing aggression in their direction. seems they could tell the same story they tell to US Weekly to a doctor, would be happier ending for everyone.

      • Oh, why not?! Imagine if Autostraddle were the Pope! You could actually get rid of pedophile priests and send them for psych treatment instead of relocating them, open the ministry to everyone, replace the more boring hymns with Tegan and Sarah songs, announce that God loves the gays even more than Charleton Heston loves guns, replace the guilt trips with group hugs, allow proper sex-ed, and change communion wafers to fresh baked chocolate chip cookies! Also, I bet the Vatican has some places where you have DJ Carlytron set up some MAD dance parties. Also, the Vatican is its own country so think of all the money you’d save on taxes. I would totally go back to the church if Autostraddle were Pope.

      • “britney and tila’s talents were not compared here, nor are they relevant to the subject at hand.”

        Really? Okay… What blog are you reading??????????

        And the rest of your comment doesn’t even make sense to anything truly going on, so I have to say, you’re fired.

          • Uh, no I’m trying to have a mature conversation utilizing facts. That’s about it, so if you can’t feel that.

          • All in good fun, you know? I just don’t get where the fired comment comes in. Riese is her own boss. Perhaps I’m missing an innuendo. Also I think the rest of her comment is in fact relevant, but that’s just me.

          • When one is reduced to editing, for lack of being able to actually compose a worthy answer indicative of what is in question, I suppose that would classify as immature.

          • I’m trying to think of the last mature conversation I had where someone arbitrarily threw in “you’re fired” at the end without there being any relation to buisness or employment…

      • …which is probably the biggest and saddest part of the problem. I do think it would be far more commendable that she get to help. But Tila Tequila, unlike many real celebrities, is dying for fame. Many people develop mental instabilities once they become famous because they can’t deal. It’s quite backwards in this case – so every bit of attention she get, good or bad, she will harness to try and become famous. It is terribly sad when you break it down, for sure I agree. But at this point how far she has taken it hurting this family at such a horrible time, tarnishing Casey Johnson’s legacy even more… Her child will now face all this some day… It’s irreparable, and near unforgivable at this point. I find it hard to believe and somewhat suspect that you touched nil on this large factor in the equation. Nor a word about how often she has lied surrounding where she was when Casey died. AND NO ONE IS THREATENING OR PRESSING CHARGES AT TILA TEQUILA. Let’s get that straight. The only person doing any of that is Tila herself. So please don’t write what is not true, and add that the very people most hurt should get her to a doctor. Call a spade a spade regardless. At the end of the day, as a Tila-type reads everything out there about herself (and tough love in her direction is beyond needed at this point to hopefully get her admitted somewhere), you are only an enabler defending her in these idiosyncrasies.

        Beyond that, I really dug your mania breakdown. And these darn reply buttons are messed up.

          • Oh, I’m sorry, truth, a little comedy, and difference of opinion doesn’t fly here. No – that immediately illicits explosive reaction with no intelligible commentary referencing what I’m actually arbitrating.

            Nice. I will be sure to check back. Y’all take care.

            And get over yourselves. God forbid someone disagree.

          • I think everyone here totally cool with disagreeing, but there’s a way to handle disagreements that doesn’t involve “who died and made you pope” and then ignoring the very sensible responses initially provided. By the time this back-and-fourth got to round four of your insults and incredulous question marks about what blog everyone else reading — rather than admitting a difference in interpretation between what you perceived and what others perceived — there was no energy or motivation to go on attempting to talk it out.

            People who don’t feel that they are being listened to, or people who feel that they are being dealt with using unnecessarily aggressive language … well, these people can only take the high road for so long before it gets tiring and inexcusable. When our first retorts were ignored in favor of reiterating your opinion (based on a misinterpretation of the article), how can anyone hope for greater clarity by continuing the conversation? You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, as my Mom always said.

          • You’re delusional. Go back an a) reread ur blog
            b) reread ur “retorts” if they can be called that as once you reread your blog hopefully you will recognize there is only one perception to be gathered unless you’re an idiot. Your retorts were not even relative to my questions.
            c) learn to write.
            d) have a great time on your gay blog sticking up for one another regardless of how ignorant.

            WHO DIED AND MADE YOU POPE!? Run along and cry now.

          • I would like to respond to Char’s comment except there is no reply button. So I’ll say it here and then hopefully never lower myself to this level again. I mean, this just bothered me too much. All I’m going to do is quote Char.

            “c) learn to write.”

            “a) reread ur blog”
            “b) reread ur “retorts””

            Thank you, I am going to peruse this gay blog now. Also I’m going to have a great time doing it.

    • How are the comments ‘out of line’? Why are you being so condescending? Do YOU want to be the pope? I don’t want to speak for Riese, but I don’t think she is in a position to help Tila. I’m sure she would love to, because she is actually a sympathetic and compassionate person, but it would make more sense if the people in Tila’s circle helped her.

      • wretched

        –adjective, -er, -est.

        1. very unfortunate in condition or circumstances; miserable; pitiable.
        2. characterized by or attended with misery and sorrow.
        3. despicable, contemptible, or mean: a wretched miser.
        4. poor, sorry, or pitiful; worthless: a wretched job of sewing.

        Pick any one really, though number 3 was my wildly weilded written intention.

        And I do apologize for my typo in my previous post.

  7. DSM-IV FTW!!111

    Nice assessment of Ms. Tequila. I dig yo style.

    I have an acquaintance from college who is currently in the throes of hypomania and resisting assistance — it’s a tough life, and I appreciate that Tila consistantly gets fair treatment from the lovely Autostraddle ladies.

    Youze gals never cease to amaze!

  8. did anyone else feel like that entire adam lambert video would’ve been so much better if they had a romantic partner in it? it reminded me of like, videos i’d make as a kid where i didn’t have any friends so it had to just be me in a lot of different costumes. like they didn’t want it to be about him fighting with a dude, and thought a girl would seem unbelievable, so they just made it about him communicating with the mysterious person holding the camera?

    • I used to do the same thing with the videos and the costumes! I didn’t think I was the only one but people just don’t talk about it enough. I also used to record interviews with myself (in different characters) on my tape recorder, and I ran a radio show from my computer with callers (me, every single time) who would phone in to request Waterfalls or Gangster’s Paradise for various heartbreaking reasons.

  9. Geez, I’m not even bipolar and I think I’ve had a recent bout of hypomania. Just without the delusion of grandeur (more the opposite). @[email protected]

    As I mentioned to Riese on Twitter yesterday, I sent off an email to the LAPD concerned that Tila might be self-harming (or suicidal) and asking them to do something. I hope they don’t think I’m a hoax (being from Australia and all). If this was anyone else I’d probably do the same time, so why not her? I’ve both been the “crazy mental bitch” (my words) and seen others become totally nuts out of mental stress, and to say it’s not fun is an understatement. I hope she gets the help she desperately needs.

    GROUP HUG!

  10. Thank you very much for taking the time to write an article about what is really behind many of the meltdowns among celebrities. Too often gossip columnists take the easy route of pointing fingers and laughing instead of explaining that these people are ill and need to be under a doctor’s care. Amy Winehard is a good example of this. Refusing psychiatric medications she medicates with street drugs and alcohol. It is estimated that more than 60% of people with Bipolar have substance abuse problems and that more than half of all people with substance abuse problems have an underlying psychiatric condition that is not being treated. Again, thank you very much for covering this in such a thoughtful, informative manner.

    Katie
    CyclothymiaCollective.com

    • Thank you Katie for getting it, coming to the site and commenting. I’ve seen three loved ones go through serious manic episodes and it’s heartbreaking — and often embarrassing for them when they recover and have to live with the record of what they did when they were ill. It’s absolutely true what you say about self-medicating, I’ve seen so many people do that in my own life. My Mom is a social worker who deals with dual diagnosis patients (mental illness & substance abuse/addiction) and we’ve had our own problems within my larger family as well.

      It honestly does shock me how celebrities with so many people paying attention to them that no one does the right thing, and how easy it is for gossip columnists to point and laugh. When I see this happening, I just feel sad.

      Anyhow, thanks Katie,and kudos on the great website you’ve set up for Cyclothymia awareness.

  11. I’ve been reading all of your comments and really love how funny/witty/serious/educated they are.
    Riese, or anyone-what does ftw mean?
    I love Autostraddle! Keep up the great work, everyone!

    • Keep on keeping on with those great attitudes justifying eachother in such profound ignorance, and keep sticking up for people purporting lies in your blogs, simply because they are gay like you. Be sure to get angry when someone does not concur, and neglect to answer NY direct questions by all costs. GREAT BLOG YOU GOT HERE.

      Your a winner Riese. Really. And don’t you forget it!

  12. I have watched Tila since the first shot at love I knew she was a little off the rocker then but aren’t we all? The mania was apparent. I wound up deleting her from myspace from constant bulletins and things. Now things are horrible and I’m asking to what point will people reach out and get a court ordered mental evaluation for her. in the past month its gotten worse and WILL only get worse. I am actually worried for the fact I know the results. I have borderline personality disorder and bipolar 1 (the most severe) and I can bet you a million tila doesn’t just have bipolar. I am very into psychology and if you look up histrionic personality disorder they may as well put tilas picture right beside it…basically attention whore. Someone needs to get her help fast. And also get her off the net exposing herself nude to minors that is disturbing and just another confirmed reason for why I think she has HPD.

  13. Um, I know this is probably “insensitive” but I’ll just be honest and say if she’s a harm to others and herself..just leave her alone. She’s just a harm to herself. She’s obviously crazy and no one cares about her. I don’t even and I don’t even know the “woman” but when you go as far as to saying you’re pregnant when I just recently read she admitted to NOT being (e-mail was sent somewhere between yesterday and saturday). SOME OF US aren’t lucky to get pregnant without help and with that, she’s the insensitive one. So I take back if i were to apologize on a public forum for being rude about Miss Nguyen. She’s looney and we care about Britney because most of us grew up with her, not Tila.

    As far as Tila is concerned…let’s see how bad she can get because you have to admit, it’s sort of funny in an ironic way. She mocks so many but yet, she has NO media attention. Just read this weeks STAR and there’s no TILA to be found. So much for just being Tila Tequila the E-famous slut who shows her boobs and bloody tampons, right?

  14. really so u didn’t like the show after she said she didn’t get or like butch lesbo’s wtf. that is her choice. so if a show comes on and the person doesn’t like girls with red hair u won’t watch it. ur an idiot. and i don’t get butch lezzie’s either. it’s stupid. if u are a lesbian it’s because u like GIRLS. If i frigging want a girl that looks like a dude. i would be straight and date a dude.

  15. Pingback: Lesbians Chime In on Tila Tequila’s Mental State | Savory Dish

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