Remember when they canceled Bomb Girls? Do you remember how every bone in your body felt as if it had been broken, and your heart had been stomped by a million stampeding wildebeest, and nothing would ever be happy again?
Remember when they told us that maybe there’d be a movie, and we stopped crying for about five minutes to think about the vague and distant possibility of a movie?
But the movie was just a rumor, and some of us said maybe they’re just throwing it out there to keep us from losing all hope, and some of us said it’s a gimmick and a lie, and some of us were in the darkened corner of the room chewing on blankets because Bomb Girls had stolen our souls.
Well, guess what? It’s all coming true, and it’s probably going to be even better than we’re imagining. Take a break from writing that Betty/Kate fanfiction and rejoice, for the powers-that-be have heard our pleas and have made good on their promises because WE ARE BACK, WE ARE IN BUSINESS, AIN’T NOBODY FUCKIN WITH MY CLIQUE BECAUSE WE HAVE A MOVIE AND THAT MOVIE IS OFFICIAL.
In case you didn’t hear, the word is out and the word is good. Come 2014, Bomb Girls: The Movie will take place in spring of 1943. There will be sonar equipment, there will be mysterious spywork (but is it “how be good spy” spywork?), and there will be lesbianism. Today was the first day of the shoot, which means if you can fly, drive, or walk very fast to Toronto, there is probably still time to be an extra or set groupie. Now is your chance to hand out bagels to the cast, or “hand out bagels” to the cast, if you catch my meaning.
So, let’s talk about what we want to see happen in this movie. What are the pressing questions we need answered?
- Will Gladys finally learn how be good spy? Is this movie how be good spy?!
- Does Vera run the company yet? Has Vera taken over Canada and/or the world as part of her empire? Is Vera God Empress of the universe at this point in the narrative?
- Did Ivan’s bro finally confess his love for Ivan? Will this all come out into the open during the kiss cam at a Leafs game?
- Have Sheila and Dr. Patel made lusciously coiffed babies yet? Just how perfect will their hair be?
- Is Lorna gonna learn to own her bad self? Will the ghost of Baby Cannoli haunt them all?
- Will Bad Accent No Why be back with his Bad Accent and hokey lip-scrunchy faces?
- How many women can Marco make out with before the end of the movie? Is there anyone his doe eyes can’t lure like a lesbian to a Home Depot sale?
- Will Betty finally be happy? Will Kate love Betty back? Will they make out? Will they have beautiful, beautiful sex? Also, if that doesn’t happen until the end of the movie, can we can get some Betty/Gladys in there in the meantime because that’s hot and we all know it.
To reiterate: the cast is back together, the movie is underway, and come next year, your favorite 1940s babes will be back on your screen being 100% perfect.
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