Bomb Girls 205 Recap: Them’s Fightin’ Words

Mrs. Witham stops by to give Gladys a talk about not sleeping with boys that aren’t your boyfriend. It also seems to a thinly veiled rehash of someone in the Witham family cheating on someone else? Gladys is like, whatever, mom, I am using an alien’s brain now and barely understand what you’re saying.

godfather theme plays in background

and this alien brain thinks i should make out with girls anyway

Vera thinks they should have a mixer to help the new girls fit in better. Because let’s face it, there is noting in the world that can’t be solved by Robyn and cheap liquor.

Picture 360

i already booked sam ronson to dj and yes you can thank me later

Carol tells Gladys she has seen Vera sluttin’ it up. Gladys is like, I just joined her Slut Pride Girl Gang and we are uninviting you, Carol. I feel sorry for Carol. It’s not her fault she’s super square and has had no exposure to nice people. Some day she is going to discover the world of tumblr social justice and have a lot of great outlets for her destructive feelings.

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and when that day comes i am going to tumblr savior the words “gladys witham” until i die

The mixer is underway and it looks about as fun and socially lubricated as the first two hours of Ladies’ Night. Gene shows up because General Assmunch clearly has nothing else to do with his life, and Lorna tells him that Gladys wants to “use him.” Lorna, did you get an alien brain too?

why have you and gladys been talking about galactic domination so much lately

why have you and gladys been talking about galactic domination so much lately

Carol has set up the most lesbian game possible called Pass The Orange which I didn’t even know was a game that could be played and *not* lead to gay sex acts.

Picture 363

are we heterosexual yet

Betty decides this as good a time as any to confront Reggie about being her personality twin. Betty, you’re killing me.

 SARAHPicture 366

So that doesn’t go very well.

Gladys and Gene are in Gladys’ car going for that long innuendo-filled drive we’d all dreaded. R.I.P. Gladys’ taste in men. Again, I am blaming the alien brain that is the only way to explain this behavior.

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uh gladys your skull is kinda giving off this green glow

Kate tries to flirt with Ivan’s buddy Buster, whose name I was really hoping was Buddy, but he blows her off. Ivan is that Token Nice Guy and gets her some punch, but everything about this interaction is giving me Really Bad Feelings in my Lesbian Department.

Picture 368

fine i’ll make out with you but you’re gonna need to wear a blond wig and one of betty’s pantsuits

Reggie and Betty come to final terms. All I want is for Betty to take this baby dyke under her wing and teach her the ways of the pantsuit. Anyway, they make amends, and it’s adorable.

SHANELILBRO

And so, a Lil Broship was formed.

Gladys and Gene get into a near car crash because Gene’s a fucking idiot and then they are overcome by their loins. I just…no.

Picture 371

life_choices

Carol gets a sleazy guy to slut-shame Vera by saying she’ll bang anyone for a pair of earrings. Low blow, Carol. Super low blow. You’re gonna need a lot of tumblr processing to figure out where you went wrong here. Vera insults the dude’s manhood and walks out with her head held high. Vera, you are flawless.

i'm gonna chop off your penis and serve it to mr. corbett in the guise of sirloin

i’m gonna chop off your penis and serve it to mr. corbett in the guise of sirloin

Gladys and Private Dickhole are in the middle of the dirty when they are stopped by the cops who I guess have nothing better to do than disturb outdoor sex in the countryside? I mean, I know Canada doesn’t have crime or whatever, but this seems like overkill.

uh no officer i was not attempting to suck his brain out through his mouth for alien experiments

uh no officer i was not attempting to suck his brain out through his mouth for alien experiments

And guess what? The cops called her PARENTS! Ugh, Gladys is so grounded. So much for homecoming and prom and Mackenzie Zales’ party.

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this is such lumpin bullshit

Vera is still human so that whole stunt Carol pulled makes her upset. Marco goes to comfort her, and can I just say that Marco would have probably made a really great dad to the little cannoli? R.I.P. Baby Cannoli, your dad gives great hugs. Vera says she doesn’t regret any of her choices. High five to Vera, high five to the Bomb Girls writers, high five to everyone who made it possible for a girl to do what she wants with her body on a show and make it a-okay and not something to be ashamed of.

Picture 380

the only thing i regret is that dolphin tramp stamp i can’t remember getting

Since there was a minimal amount of heartbreak in this episode, everybody get your feelings out because they’re about to be trampled! Kate and Betty are PAINTING EACH OTHER’S NAILS. Gay, gay, hands, gay, hands, gay. I mean, this happened:

tumblr_mhhpepKVDP1qblbmso1_500

marmitepandasdrinkingtea@tumblr

Kate says that Ivan asked her out. Holy Ripping Out My Soul, Batman. Betty’s face when Kate asks for approval pretty much destroyed any hope I had of feeling joy again. I feel like the show’s OTP is actually Betty/Deep Personal Pain.

He’s a nice guy. You could do a lot worse.

Are you sure it’s okay?

Mhm. Help me pick out a dress?

Sure.

please kate no not the perfect disney face

please kate no not the perfect disney face

no why stop please don't make that face

no why stop please don’t make that face

Mr. Akins says Vera would be the best pick for office manager but he can’t give her the job after what happened at the party from hell. But he definitely won’t give the job to Carol either, so technically Vera wins. She is flawless queen of this office and the world.

Picture 383

nobody ever said my handjobs were second rate

Reggie is going to stay with Lorna now, which is the one redeeming thing Lorna has done this episode. Alien brains, I am telling you. Speaking of brains, it looks like we’re gonna tackle a PTSD storyline soon.

go watch the promo for next week because betty confesses her love to kate

go watch the promo for next week because betty confesses her love to kate – that’s all i could caption this with and feel good about it

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kate

Full-time writer, part-time lover, freelancing in fancy cheese and cider.

Kate has written 1 article for us.

36 Comments

  1. Okay, I haven’t even finished the first page, but I’m dying of all the L Word screencaps. Homigod, best screen caps ever.

    I hope you know that your screencaps are the reason I watch this show, Kade. …much like how every TV show I watch is solely because Autostraddle recaps it. #correlation

  2. Oh goodness the screencaps were so perfect! Betty’s angry face!

    That scene where Kate says she is going out with Ivan made me so sad for poor Betty. And then to top it off, Kate asks her to help pick out an outfit for the date! Way to kick her when she’s down :( I actually can’t get over that line and Betty’s face afterwards.

    I feel like there’s one person, who would deny it if asked (Marco, maybe?), who ships Alice/Dana and cried for days when Dana died.

      • …oh my, you just described me. That song breaks my heart now. I admit to being a Dana/Alice shipper, though. They were adorable as a couple, especially with the Love Boat roleplaying that had me keeled over in laughter. But really, I was ultimately a Dana/happiness shipper, and I liked her with the soup chef too (much like how I’m endgame McAndrews but am totally down with Betty/Bond Girl in the meantime). …and then season 3 was the end of that. Thanks, Ilene. :/

  3. I was going to point out the part of this recap that I loved the most/made me laugh the loudest but then I realized that would be all three pages.

    Kade you have a magical writing gift (both here & in the Butch Please articles) which is just out of this world.

  4. I’m pretty sure next week’s episode is going to set fire to my heart, and not in the way that Tums can cure. Also, did Kate lose her powers of vision? How did she not see Betty sitting right in front of her with all that pain on her face and think, “Oh, okay, she’s definitely cool with me riding Ivan’s rocking horse?” No. Kate, please refer to the Ali Liebert’s Face Situation chart and know that she is NOT COOL WITH IT.

    Also, I read those supes secret leaked spoilers and I kind of feel like I’m going to have a feelings explosion (but like in a bad way and not a sex way).

  5. That pass the orange fight between Betty and Reggie was pretty much the lesbian equivalent to the tent scene in “Brokeback Mountain”. So I see those two sharing the sheets in the future – they just need to sort out who gets to be the top first.

      • But isn’t the age of consent 16 in Canada? Also my guess is that by the time Betty is done picking up the pieces of her heart off the floor (after the final smash-down by Kate), Reggie is gonna be 18, still awesome and probably already secretly in love with her / confused by “strange feelings” that she feels whenever, wherever she sees her.

        How old is Betty supposed to be anyway?

        • ummmmmmm no guys let’s please not do the reggie/betty feels. i wanna squash this like a bug right now:

          betty is 28
          reggie is 17

          and while age of consent is 16 blah blah blah – technicalities should not be the reason we allow a problematic ship to get by

          let’s talk about how reggie’s character has essentially been on her own, is emotionally vulnerable and felt the need to strike out against elders as a way of asserting herself because she was so afraid of losing the only thing she had. despite the tough exterior, she is still just a KID who was forced to grow up fast after being abandoned at 14. something sexual developing with betty would be super gross and not okay because it would mean that her only connection to vicmu/one of TWO people who were nice to her was a sexual dynamic which just does not sit right with me. i’m actually okay with mcandrews not happening if kate never comes through, but we’ve got a hot soldier lady coming to fill that gap okay?

          i just ship betty/happiness

          • “i just ship betty/happiness”

            THIS. Can this please happen?
            Honestly I thought Kate and Ivan were cute, and I want Kate to be happy too… but noooooooooooo Betty’s face I really really just can’t.

          • Wooooooooooooooow, I thought Betty is supposed to be younger than that. How old is Kate then? To me, she doesn’t look a lot older than Reggie. I kinda assumed that she is 19 or 20. But that might be just her permanent wide eyes… or whatever.

            So what do I do now? I already have Reggie/Betty feels but I agree that 11 years are just too much for somebody that young. Okay, I just gonna rub my nose into my cat’s fur and blame Jenny Schecter for ruining e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g! Life sucks.

          • Exactly. I don’t think they even set it up to look like there would be a romance there- it looks like they are going to develop a mentor/mentee relationship, and be sweet Lesbifriends. Which is so good too!

          • I agree that Reggie’s background (and childhood abandonment) has to be respected, but 17 in 1942 was not the same as 17 now. At that age, my grandmothers were both getting married, having children and running households of their own.

            (It’d be nice if they could become friends, get some mentoring going, that kinda thing. I’m still hoping that Kate will get struck by gay-lightning and realize that Betty is the one for her. I know it’s not gonna happen, but a girl can always hope.)

  6. “Vera says she doesn’t regret any of her choices. High five to Vera, high five to the Bomb Girls writers, high five to everyone who made it possible for a girl to do what she wants with her body on a show and make it a-okay and not something to be ashamed of.”

    when i was watching this scene i was like.. oh, she’s crying.. oh no i hope this isn’t going to be a lesson about how vera brought this upon herself for being a slut… and then the dialogue happened and i was like YUSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want everyone i know to be watching this show and i’m so scared it’s gonna get cancelled bc nobody i know even has a television anymore.

  7. Is there any somewhat easy, cheap way to catch up on this show? I missed the first season and the first part of the second, but now I’ve fallen in love with it and want to watch it all but it seems like the internet just can’t handle the foreignness of Canada…

  8. Vera’s the best. And Gladys is team Tibette of course. Of course. Those recaps. They kill me. They’re even better than the show itself.
    Also I have no problem with Gladys sleeping with Gene. I want Gladys to get laid as often as she wants to, and since it’s not going to be with girls, why not Gene? I don’t get how women can be horrible people and that’s fine (hum, Lorna anybody?) but men have to be perfect like Ivan because if they have flaws, they’re obviously assholes.

    • I hear what you’re saying, but does Gene have any redeeming features at all? Sure Lorna’s a bit harsh and double standardsy, but she sticks up for her girls to Mr Akin and takes in homeless new workers. Gene is just horrible (at the moment – maybe we’ll see another side with this PTSD storyline).

      Mr Akin is far from perfect but he’s not really an asshole in the same way. Same with Bill Corbett and Mr Witham, I’m not sure if it’s really a man/woman thing so much as Gene/everyone else.

  9. Carol really stooped low with the slut-shaming question card. No wonder the only guy she could get on board was Donald-the-would-be-rapist from Season one. Not just any old sleaze ball, really scraping the barrel here.

    Still, kudos to Vera for being a true class act, and regretting nothing. In terms of self worth, she’s a million miles away from the sorry state she was in immediately after her accident. What a woman!

  10. I didn’t particularly love this episode, but now I’m glad it happened because it made this recap possible. The L Word shipping debate version was much better than the “they are both being cocky and egotistical shits and are probably a bit racist too” version. Thank you, I laughed endlessly at those screencaps. :)

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