This week on Bomb Girls, Betty McActuallyGerman wants to know if you are ready to rumble, and almost everyone needs to take a serious look at their lives and choices. Except Vera Burr. Vera continues to be a flawless human being.
There’s a whole bunch of new girls at VicMu, and given the current ratio of lesbians to “mostly straight” chicks at this factory, we can only assume that about three quarters of this crop are gay as a Christmas tree. The Holy Trinity rolls up in Gladys’ car and makes what one would describe as a truly gangster entrance. Unfortunately, waiting for them and all other eligible vaginas is Bumhole McSkeezy, aka Gene Corbett.
Unfortunately, Lieutenant Poopdick has his eye on the prize, and that prize is our angel-faced Gladys. Lorna is all up on this situation like white on bread because she will be damned if anyone touches her little goober. Dearest Lorna, your little goober has grown into a giant nutsack and you need to rein his ass in stat. Prime example: Gene does not know the meaning of multiple no’s.
i got the award on my okcupid profile for “gives off rapey vibes”
Betty and Kate are sizing up the freshmeat, who are recent deportees of a washing machine factory, where I guess they made washing machines? It’s unclear. I really wish this scenario would end with a freshman paddling scene a la Dazed and Confused, but oh well.
idk kate none of these girls look like the switch top/bottom we’ve been seeking in a third
Outside, Gene is using car euphemisms to try to woo Gladys. Barf. Yeah buddy, she’ll never guess what you’re onto when you use the line “let me check under your hood.” Did you even know that there is such a thing as a clitoral hood, Gene? Or a clitoris? This paltry level of innuendo is wasted on this doofus.
and when i say check under your hood i mean can i use my penis on your car bc that’s a hot car
Betty takes over registration and checks in Regina, who goes by Reggie. Oh, sweet baby dyke and Mini!Betty and awesome WOC character, you are one of the many reasons I love this show and all the things it gets right. Needless to say, Reggie and Betty do not hit it off.
Lorna confronts Gladys and basically tells her that Gladys is a skeevy homewrecker who is going to destroy her baby boy’s reputation. Lorna, what planet are you living on and how do I get there so I can blow it up and return you to Marco’s arms? No, but really, Lorna seemed much happier and more rational in Marco’s arms.
bitch i will cut you and think nothing of it
Reggie cuts Betty in the clearance line and basically says that she is hot shit. Betty is like hot shit in your diapers, you mean. It’s cute because they’re the same person, give or take ten years.
i just think jenny has a complex narrative that does not get the credit it deserves okay fuckface
Gladys is quick to point out to her bro that the two of them are butting heads because their heads are more or less identical.
Betty: The only thing bigger than that girl’s mouth is the chip on her shoulder.
Gladys: Gee, reminds me of my friend.
Up in the office, Mr. Akins needs a new office manager, which means it’s time for some hilarious hijinks when Vera faces off with that bitch Carol! This is like that time my friend and I fell for the same girl and baked her endless amounts of cookies and kept inviting her over for burgers. Plot Twist: It turned out she was vegan and hated both of us.
oh honey if you want a prank war i’ll give you world prank war ii
On the floor, not to be confused with that J.Lo song, Reggie and Betty continue to face off.
Betty continues to be appalled that anyone could not be fed up with her mini-me. Gladys has decided to Switzerland this situation and stay the fudge out of it until Betty realizes she is in a wrestling match with herself.
Vera and Carol are giving Mr. Akins a laundry list of things they’ve been doing around the office, but Mr. Akins really doesn’t care. Mr. Akins just wants to go home and shine his bald spot, okay? I didn’t even mean that in a dirty way, but now I’m rereading that sentence and there’s no other way to interpret it.
Vera says that she is definitely the lady for the job because she’s been both on the floor and in the office. I didn’t mean that sentence in a dirty way either, but there you go.
did your lady cycles sync up or something
Reggie and Betty continue to butt heads in Ye Olde Dining Hall, where Reggie equates Betty with Hitler. Come on, Reggie! Didn’t you see last week’s episode? German stuff is a tender spot with Betty McActuallyGerman!
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Okay, I haven’t even finished the first page, but I’m dying of all the L Word screencaps. Homigod, best screen caps ever.
I hope you know that your screencaps are the reason I watch this show, Kade. …much like how every TV show I watch is solely because Autostraddle recaps it. #correlation
Best. Recap. Ever.
Gladys is totally a Team Tibette girl. I bet Kate is a Dana/Soup Chef shipper.
Okay, I’m going insane here trying to find the promo for next week’s episode. Does anyone have a link?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Y8iu3zsvw
You’re the best thank you thank you
OH GOD! Too much Eugene and ALL THOSE FEELINGS for Betty :S
Oh goodness the screencaps were so perfect! Betty’s angry face!
That scene where Kate says she is going out with Ivan made me so sad for poor Betty. And then to top it off, Kate asks her to help pick out an outfit for the date! Way to kick her when she’s down :( I actually can’t get over that line and Betty’s face afterwards.
I feel like there’s one person, who would deny it if asked (Marco, maybe?), who ships Alice/Dana and cried for days when Dana died.
…and to this day cannot hear “You Are My Sunshine” without sobbing just a little.
…oh my, you just described me. That song breaks my heart now. I admit to being a Dana/Alice shipper, though. They were adorable as a couple, especially with the Love Boat roleplaying that had me keeled over in laughter. But really, I was ultimately a Dana/happiness shipper, and I liked her with the soup chef too (much like how I’m endgame McAndrews but am totally down with Betty/Bond Girl in the meantime). …and then season 3 was the end of that. Thanks, Ilene. :/
I was going to point out the part of this recap that I loved the most/made me laugh the loudest but then I realized that would be all three pages.
Kade you have a magical writing gift (both here & in the Butch Please articles) which is just out of this world.
I’m pretty sure next week’s episode is going to set fire to my heart, and not in the way that Tums can cure. Also, did Kate lose her powers of vision? How did she not see Betty sitting right in front of her with all that pain on her face and think, “Oh, okay, she’s definitely cool with me riding Ivan’s rocking horse?” No. Kate, please refer to the Ali Liebert’s Face Situation chart and know that she is NOT COOL WITH IT.
Also, I read those supes secret leaked spoilers and I kind of feel like I’m going to have a feelings explosion (but like in a bad way and not a sex way).
That pass the orange fight between Betty and Reggie was pretty much the lesbian equivalent to the tent scene in “Brokeback Mountain”. So I see those two sharing the sheets in the future – they just need to sort out who gets to be the top first.
Reggie is super young though so I don’t know how I feel about that.
But isn’t the age of consent 16 in Canada? Also my guess is that by the time Betty is done picking up the pieces of her heart off the floor (after the final smash-down by Kate), Reggie is gonna be 18, still awesome and probably already secretly in love with her / confused by “strange feelings” that she feels whenever, wherever she sees her.
How old is Betty supposed to be anyway?
ummmmmmm no guys let’s please not do the reggie/betty feels. i wanna squash this like a bug right now:
betty is 28
reggie is 17
and while age of consent is 16 blah blah blah – technicalities should not be the reason we allow a problematic ship to get by
let’s talk about how reggie’s character has essentially been on her own, is emotionally vulnerable and felt the need to strike out against elders as a way of asserting herself because she was so afraid of losing the only thing she had. despite the tough exterior, she is still just a KID who was forced to grow up fast after being abandoned at 14. something sexual developing with betty would be super gross and not okay because it would mean that her only connection to vicmu/one of TWO people who were nice to her was a sexual dynamic which just does not sit right with me. i’m actually okay with mcandrews not happening if kate never comes through, but we’ve got a hot soldier lady coming to fill that gap okay?
i just ship betty/happiness
“i just ship betty/happiness”
THIS. Can this please happen?
Honestly I thought Kate and Ivan were cute, and I want Kate to be happy too… but noooooooooooo Betty’s face I really really just can’t.
Wooooooooooooooow, I thought Betty is supposed to be younger than that. How old is Kate then? To me, she doesn’t look a lot older than Reggie. I kinda assumed that she is 19 or 20. But that might be just her permanent wide eyes… or whatever.
So what do I do now? I already have Reggie/Betty feels but I agree that 11 years are just too much for somebody that young. Okay, I just gonna rub my nose into my cat’s fur and blame Jenny Schecter for ruining e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g! Life sucks.
I think Kate is 24.
Exactly. I don’t think they even set it up to look like there would be a romance there- it looks like they are going to develop a mentor/mentee relationship, and be sweet Lesbifriends. Which is so good too!
I agree that Reggie’s background (and childhood abandonment) has to be respected, but 17 in 1942 was not the same as 17 now. At that age, my grandmothers were both getting married, having children and running households of their own.
(It’d be nice if they could become friends, get some mentoring going, that kinda thing. I’m still hoping that Kate will get struck by gay-lightning and realize that Betty is the one for her. I know it’s not gonna happen, but a girl can always hope.)
Betty is 28 according to GlobalTV’s website.
I love this show!
Vera is the best.
Also, ‘little cannoli’ might be the dirtiest thing you said…
Love these Shenny/Sharmen-Screencaps! Funny thing tho is that for me as a ordinary Swiss citizen, Tibette is my actual favorite. Mindreader, somehow you are!
i read somewhere that betty is supposed to be 28
I cannot get over the running L Word shipping gag
“Vera says she doesn’t regret any of her choices. High five to Vera, high five to the Bomb Girls writers, high five to everyone who made it possible for a girl to do what she wants with her body on a show and make it a-okay and not something to be ashamed of.”
when i was watching this scene i was like.. oh, she’s crying.. oh no i hope this isn’t going to be a lesson about how vera brought this upon herself for being a slut… and then the dialogue happened and i was like YUSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want everyone i know to be watching this show and i’m so scared it’s gonna get cancelled bc nobody i know even has a television anymore.
Is there any somewhat easy, cheap way to catch up on this show? I missed the first season and the first part of the second, but now I’ve fallen in love with it and want to watch it all but it seems like the internet just can’t handle the foreignness of Canada…
most of the episodes are on youtube if you search for “bomb girls s0*e0*”
*insert number here.
:)
does nobody know about sidereel, 1channel dot ch and/or the endless number of other pages like that.actually you’ll even be fine with just googling ‘watch bomb girls online’
yeah that works as well
I live for this recaps!
Vera’s the best. And Gladys is team Tibette of course. Of course. Those recaps. They kill me. They’re even better than the show itself.
Also I have no problem with Gladys sleeping with Gene. I want Gladys to get laid as often as she wants to, and since it’s not going to be with girls, why not Gene? I don’t get how women can be horrible people and that’s fine (hum, Lorna anybody?) but men have to be perfect like Ivan because if they have flaws, they’re obviously assholes.
I hear what you’re saying, but does Gene have any redeeming features at all? Sure Lorna’s a bit harsh and double standardsy, but she sticks up for her girls to Mr Akin and takes in homeless new workers. Gene is just horrible (at the moment – maybe we’ll see another side with this PTSD storyline).
Mr Akin is far from perfect but he’s not really an asshole in the same way. Same with Bill Corbett and Mr Witham, I’m not sure if it’s really a man/woman thing so much as Gene/everyone else.
Vera is my spirit animal.
Carol really stooped low with the slut-shaming question card. No wonder the only guy she could get on board was Donald-the-would-be-rapist from Season one. Not just any old sleaze ball, really scraping the barrel here.
Still, kudos to Vera for being a true class act, and regretting nothing. In terms of self worth, she’s a million miles away from the sorry state she was in immediately after her accident. What a woman!
I didn’t particularly love this episode, but now I’m glad it happened because it made this recap possible. The L Word shipping debate version was much better than the “they are both being cocky and egotistical shits and are probably a bit racist too” version. Thank you, I laughed endlessly at those screencaps. :)