Autostraddle’s Ultimate Holigay Gift Guide 2015: What We Really, Really Want This Year

Laura, Staff Writer

Holigays_LauraM

Margarita Women’s Socks

You may think I’m boring for wanting socks, but may I remind you that Dumbledore also requested socks for Christmas? And these socks are amazing. They’re super cushiony and non-sweaty and they generally make my feet feel like royalty. They’re also $30 and I just can’t bring myself to buy more than one pair at a time. Which makes them the perfect gift!

Macro Lens for Canon SLR Cameras

I feel really interested in cooking and food photography lately. This lens is what Deb from Smitten Kitchen uses, and her photos are always gorgeous! I would love it if I could play around with a macro lens.

The Food Lab: Better Home Cooking Through Science

Related: food science books are just fascinating to me. I have a couple good reference books already, but not this one. It just came out this year and I have been coveting it since I read the review in Wired.

Cheval Mirror

I don’t have a full length mirror in my life anymore. Which is fine 95% of the time, but occasionally, I need to see all of myself at once. I like this mirror because I’ve never had a mirror on a stand before! Only attached to walls or doors. Standalone mirrors feel fancy and old-timey to me, and I have the perfect spot for this in my room.

Star Wars Tattoo Robot Leggings

Annnnd this is one of those reasons that I need a full length mirror. God. I would look so hot in these leggings. Why would I not want R2 and Threepio splashed across my thighs?


KaeLyn, Staff Writer

KaeLyn

Magic Orgasms, Please

I don’t know how I made it this far in life without a Magic Wand, especially considering I have been traveling around the country as a sex educator for the past five years. I think I just haven’t been willing to put the money into it because honestly a $20 pocket rocket knockoff will do the job for me. But it’s time. I’m a grown-ass woman and I deserve a grown-up vibrator. Plus it’s rechargeable so I don’t have to frantically steal batteries from the TV remote anymore.

A True Red Pout

I got a travel size of this lip stain last year and fell in love. It’s a deep, blood red and the color payout is va-va-voom gorgeous. It doesn’t last forever compared to other lip stains, but it also doesn’t get flaky and, most importantly, it doesn’t dry out my lips. I HATE DRY LIPS.

Femme Flannel Flagging

Flannel isn’t really my thing. Even as a legit teen of the 90’s. The feminine detail on these sexy panties is making me change my mind. Cozy sexy cool.

This Movie That Makes Me Weep For My Youth

This is seriously the best movie. I cried over and over. I know it’s a kid’s flick, but if this didn’t move you to tears, you are a monster. I’m sorry. It’s true.

Mallory Ortberg and Literary Snark I Can Hold In My Hand

I usually read books on my Kindle, but this book seems worthy of a hard copy. It would be a fine addition to the stack of weird and hilarious books I keep in the bathroom for guests embarking on a long stay. Is that offensive to Mallory? It’s a compliment, really, I swear. I take the bathroom experience very seriously.


Maddie, Staff Writer

Holigays_Maddie

A Fanny Pack

I don’t even care how overwhelmingly hipster-ish this is; I desperately want a fanny pack. Carrying a purse makes my back hurt, and sometimes I wear pants that are just too tight to carry everything I need for whatever I’m doing in my pockets and/or bra. A fanny pack is the clear solution, correct? But my number one concern when looking for a fanny pack was will it look bizzarre with flannel and then I FOUND AN ETSY MODEL WEARING THIS FANNY PACK WHILE ALSO WEARING A FLANNEL SHIRT and it’s perfect. Please someone buy this for me. Please.

The Year of Magical Thinking

It’s absurd that I haven’t read this yet.

This Puzzle of a “Tapestry Cat”

Jigsaw puzzles are the best and I can’t deal with how perfect this cat is. I would like to spend many hours over several consecutive days assembling this cat in my living room.

Yoga Books

I’ve been doing a lot of yoga to work on chronic pain I’ve been experiencing, and it’s made me really interested in anatomy and how the body moves and holds itself. I always get kind of paralyzed when I look up information about bodies and health, because I never know who to trust, BUT I have decided I am going to take the plunge and ask for these books. Yoga Anatomy seems basic and not too woo-y and it comes highly recommended. The Key Muscles of Yoga: Scientific Keys, Volume I seems more connected to a specific person’s practice and it was recommended to me by a teacher I really trust. Together, these books feel like a good place for me to start learning more about my body and how to name how it works and feels.


Audrey, Staff Writer

Holigays_Audrey

Leather Sleeve Bomber

This year I have to survive an entire winter for the first time in three years. I wish I could have this beautiful jacket to do so in. The details like mixed texture and gold accents are lovely, and it would match with literally anything.

In Times Of Terror Wage Beauty

This little book is what all inspirational texts should be. Beautiful designed, full of radical wisdom and no fluff. A friend recommended it a few months ago and I’ve wanted to get my hands on it ever sense.

Beyoncé on Vinyl

I’m about to have access to my record player again, and what better way to celebrate than with some new LPs? First on my list is Beyoncé’s 2014 self-titled masterpiece. I’m very ready to vogue around my parents’ house while this baby spins.

Mighty Leaf English Breakfast

I love to experience wild and lovely teas of all kinds, but at 7 a.m. I require a utilitarian approach. That’s where this giant box of English Breakfast tea comes in to keep me awake for at least three months.


Beth, Contributor

Holigays_Beth

A Fancy Ceramic Coffee Dripper

I’m not sure when or why drip coffee became such a hot trend since it’s like, the cheapest, simplest and most portable way to make nice fresh coffee, but since it has there are all these fancy (and lovely) dripper cones around. This handmade ceramic one is totally gorgeous. I won’t be taking it on any camping trips but it would look lovely in my kitchen next to the coffee pot and grinder.

The Moon. Around My Neck.

I pretty much own every set of brass earrings created by the wonderful fair-trade jewellery store Made, so it’s time to move on to necklaces! This long-chained crescent moon is witchy enough to be part of my ‘yes I’m a tarot reader’ get-up, but elegant and dangly enough to go with almost everything else I own.

No more scalded hands or bike mishaps!

Y’know, I genuinely believed I had invented this and have spent many mornings thinking about how this afternoon I’m going to make a prototype from, like, a bent coat hanger and then proceed to become a millionaire with my awesome invention. Well guess what, some hipster got there before me. And I’m glad, because I never did make that prototype and in the meantime have had many unfortunate spillages. No more! I shall have my coffee and ride my bike!

The Wicked + The Divine

I got into reading this amazing comic earlier this year and now I want All Of The Books. It’s about a pantheon of reincarnated gods who are like pop idols to their mortal fans (and basically I fancy all of them) and a teenager named Laura who gets caught up in their It’s filled with clever mythological references that go right over my head, and bad language and wicked deeds and sarcasm and extremely cool outifts and beautiful acts of heroism.

A Cup For Me (And Only Me)

I’m one of those awful people who hates it when people use my mug and will go on the rampage around the whole building if mine vanishes at work. The problem is, my mugs are totally non-descript, but this hand-thrown cup is special enough that my studio-mates should know to leave well alone.


Raquel, Intern

Holigays_Raquel

Murdered-Out Eames Chairs

Okay, big-ticket item, but: the Eames Lounger has been on my bucket list of “Things I’ll Own When I Know I’ve Made It” for a long time. Recently, I was stalking a fellow designer’s blog and found an all-black “murdered-out” version and was suddenly overcome by a powerful need. Unfortunately, the Herman Miller site has less-punk versions, but I did find I could make a badass, all-black version of another favorite of mine, their Molded Dowel-leg Chair.

1968: Radical Italian Design: Photographs

Looking around, you may have noticed recently a resurgence in the bright patterns and weirdo shapes of postmodernist Italian design like the Memphis Group (see: Nathalie Du Pasquier’s collection for American Apparel). If you’re a fan, you can now go straight to the source: one of my favorite alt art-photography magazines, Toilet Paper recently put out this insane, saturated rundown of some of the weirder parts of Italian design in the late-60s. It’s both education and a total head trip, making it exactly my favorite type of thing.

Davines OI Aroma Roll-On

Full disclosure: I haven’t actually smelled this yet. But! I have been thinking a lot lately about having a signature scent. After all, it’s one of the most evocative forms of memory retrieval, and I never want to be forgotten. Recently, one of my favorite ladies/writers Rachel Syme seriously endorsed it on twitter, the place where I get all of my best recommendations. So. I can’t wait to smell good, girl.

Collection of the Four Best Clean Air Plants for Your Home

I love plants. Like, obsessively. If you find a photo of a home with beautiful plants in it, I will invariably pin that ish. Recently, I found out that not only are they beautiful and make you feel like more of a real human being with an inviting home, but also, they can improve the air quality in your home! Who knew? Maybe it’s snake oil, but at least it’s also completely lovely. Plus, they’re an excuse to buy a million adorable planters.

Strange Plants

Speaking of my love of plants, Strange Plants is a great little collection of art about plants, made by assorted artists. There are currently two editions and they’re both charming as hell. The best things about these books? They come with a page of stickers for customizing your book jacket, laptop cover, and life!


Nikki, Intern

Holigays_Nikki

Hipster Sloth Quote Poster

Sloths are just cool critters, right? Add that to a poster that is basically just weird and silly and you have exactly what I need for my apartment. There is nothing I want more than this simple greeting from a sloth, “welcome home, darling.” I mean, if I had this in my apartment I just don’t even know what would happen. It would be the best day ever. I would never have to find another weird poster again.

Small Leather Card Holder Wallet

You know when you really want to purchase something but you’re not sure. So you keep going back and back to take another look because it is beautiful and you want it, but your mind is like not today, human, not today. That is what it is like with this wallet. I want to try to not carry a purse and this seems like the most logical solution. I want a wallet that is easy on the eyes and also does what it is supposed to do.

Clay Pomade

I have a confession to make, I think I’m getting a little too into my hair. On a scale of 1 to Justin Bieber I am reaching and dipping into the Bieber arena. I am still searching for the best pomade for my straight as an arrow and fine hair. I have read about this pomade and it is really something I want. Yes, I check reviews on pomades. It’s like checking the weather for me.

DIY Moss Terrarium Kit

First off, this kit has a dinosaur on it and IN IT. I don’t want to write anymore because that already should of sold you on why I need this in my life but I will. Second, terrariums are just cute and I want to live inside this one for a moment. I would like to say I’m a tender queer so I would love to make this and then give it to someone in my life.


Karly, Intern

Holigays_Karly

Gallon Cold Brew Coffee Kit

Have you heard the Good Word about cold brew coffee? I tried it and now I’m addicted. I’ve been brewing it in like 4 mason jars but they are not gallon size like this one! Also I’ve been Macgyvering filters, so it would be awesome to have one specifically for that. A kit!

Nostalgic Bluetooth Turntable

My record player broke recently and it was a cheap one that didn’t sound great in headphones or speakers. Also it looked terrible. Look how cute this one is.

Silver Octopus Collar Clip

An online friend posted a picture of her deer antlers collar clip and I’ve been coveting one just like it since. The octopus is one of my favorite animals and I’d probably wear this every day.


Molly, Contributor

Holigays_Molly

The Sexiest Camera Strap Ever

It’s so pretty and practical and it goes with everything. And you can tell my mom that it’s better for my back or something.

For real though I carry around cameras all day and don’t use cases because I’m really good at being organized and if they were tied to me with this nice leather harness that’s made for quick shooting my life would be so much better.

Cookies

PLEASE SOMEONE SEND ME A MONTHLY COOKIE BOX DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY. Just imagine waking up one day to a box of cookies on your doorstep. Guys. We live in a world where cookies can show up on your door step. All kinds of cookies. Cookies for me, cookies for you, cookies will bring about world peace just watch.

Groundwork Coffee

To enjoy with my cookies. And to be honest this will be gone in a week so if you hear of a Groundwork subscription coffee service that would be great.

Scissoring Boxer Briefs

So I look great when I eat cookies and drink coffee in my underwear.


Haley, Contributor

Holigays_Haley

Fleece Booties for Baby

It’s finally getting cold in San Francisco, and Tiny needs something to keep those little toes warm! Turns out socks are no match for squiggly newborn feet, so I want a pair of these to strap on. Size 12 months please because girly’s feet are huge!

Sex is a Funny Word

Okay, so it’s not really relevant for Tiny just yet, but in the meantime I want this book to show to all my parent friends (and kid friends, if their parents will let me!). A book for kids about sex that talks about gender and feelings and justice and consent and all sorts of bodies and joy?! Yes! Cory Silverberg’s What Makes a Baby is one of the best most gender inclusive books of all time, and I’m so happy this author is tackling sex, and I want this book on our shelves pronto.

Backpack / Diaper Bag

I’m out and about wearing Tiny and wandering the city most days, and I need a diaper bag that can keep up! I’ve been looking all over the place for a backpack I can use that has enough pockets to organize everything within easy reach, is style-y enough that it doesn’t ruin my outfit, and is supportive enough that I can carry it and the baby comfortably. I finally found this perfect specimen, so please buy it for me.

Rechargeable Magic Wand

Simone and I just exploded our second Hitachi Magic Wand (oops!), but I’m a die-hard believer and was about to purchase another one anyway. THEN I SAW THIS INCREDIBLE INNOVATION. A rechargeable Magic Wand that doesn’t require being tethered to an outlet but can also be used plugged in so as not to kill the moment in case someone forgot to recharge it?! Yes oh yes.

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58 Comments

  1. I want everything on Mey’s list too, even though I now realize that the rainbow-colored bottle is kitchen tools and not really gay vodka.

    Stef, those cat panties! I thought I was looking at a cat peeking into a box from the perspective of the bottom of the box. I was like, “Is this a poster? Some kind of cat toy I’ve never seen?” Nope! It’s cat panties!

  2. @laura-m If you are looking to do macro, there is always the option of going with a close up filter. I’ve seen some going for as low as $20(for a more common filter size). I’m thinking about going this route for myself as a macro lens for my camera system cost $$$, and I don’t have the option of going older Canon, Nikon, or Minolta macro lenses.

  3. On the topic of of books about traveling written by women, I recommend Tracks: One Woman’s Journey across 1600 Miles of Australian Outback by Robyn Davidson. I listened to the audiobook a couple months ago. It’s about traveling, but it’s also about a lot of other things (like racism against aboriginals) and other really interesting and profound topics, and I found it utterly compelling. Plus, the audiobook was read by an Aussie woman so it was super nice to listen to as well.

    • Seconding this recommendation! Tracks is an amazing book. My mom gives it to every woman in our extended family upon graduating high school. It’s a great read during times of transition and/or traveling.

      • You’re welcome! I went through a phase a while back where I listened to a bunch of survival stories (Into the Wild, Into Thin Air, Dead Mountain) and all of them were good, but Tracks had a narrative quality that really stuck with me. I hope you enjoy it!

    • @carmenrios I came to say exactly the same thing! Tracks is beautiful and odd and stubborn and unlike other travel narratives. Film is worth watching too, though it doesn’t delve into her inner monologue as much.

  4. I 100% recommend the Harry Potter Illustrated Edition book. I bought it for my birthday and it’s even more gorgeous that I expected. There’s something exciting on every page. get it get it GO GO GO GO GO

    • promise me that if someone gets you both the burr grinder and the infrared thermometer you’ll use them together for the perfect coffee!
      (PS I broke my Hario Skerton jar and am now a Porlex convert. apparently the burrs don’t wear down as fast even if it’s not quiiite as consistent as the Skerton.)

  5. -Rachel that coffee grinder is half off right now! Make your dreams come true.

    -Yvonne: best rice cookers? I don’t have one but god bless the internet and its overabundance of information/choices.

    -I just got lost in the accessories section of Wildfang’s site. Had a laugh at the “SORRY I’M SUCH AN ASSHOLE” balloons.

  6. I want a FitBit for the same reasons as Chelsey. I couldn’t care less about how many flights of stairs I move in a day or have caller ID on my wrist BUT heart rate and sleep are such cool features!! I want them to make a model that’s cheaper and just has those features for those of us who just don’t care about the rest.

    • i have one for those features and it is wonderful! however sometimes when i lie in bed for hours stressing out about every little thing, it seems to think i am asleep, which i am most definitely not. :-(

      • That would be my ideal device! Riese, I am sad to hear that it registers lying awake at night stressing about every little thing as sleep :(

        • i actually thought it was 100% accurate and insightful until this one night that i barely slept at all and it said i slept a lot. however it did say i was often “restless” and also honestly just having it on somehow motivates me to try and get a good amount of sleep. i think because i know if i ever wake up and it says like, 4 hours 14 minutes, i’ll probably just give up and die instead of trying to make it through the day. i’m curious to find out how accurate it is at camp.

  7. I just bought the Harry Potter illustrated edition as my Christmas present to my mom. I am such a good daughter! (also, I want to immediately borrow it from her as soon as she’s done reading it so maybe I’m only a so-so daughter).

  8. @yvonne if you can get into a costco, they’ve got that coloring book and some other gorgeous ones by the same company! I saw them a couple weeks ago and was ver intrigued

  9. If you like a camp fire smell, Alex, this shampoo from Lush is highly recommended.
    It makes your shower smell campy but doesn’t really linger in your hair.

    I came home once to my roommates convinced something in the walls was on fire when I first bought it. It is also great for your scalp.

    • I clicked your link because I was so excited about this, but the description says it’s been reformulated to smell warm and sweet instead of smoky. :( Do you think it’s drastically different?

      • ah man, why would they do that???

        I don’t know… it’s been a little while since I bought a new bar. :( I’ll probably pass by Lush before the end of the week, so I’ll pop in and give it a sniff and let you know.

  10. Rachel, I can confirm that the infrared food thermometer is lots of fun and actually useful!

    Chelsey, have you been watching “Girl Meets World”? They have carried over some storylines and Shawn has made several guest appearances. A bunch of Cory’s family has actually. Still no sign of that little sister that disappeared upstairs for years though, lol.

    KaeLyn, I also love “Inside Out” and cried as well. Have you seen “Wreck-It Ralph”? That one gets me too.

    Maddie, there are some good jigsaw puzzle apps out there. I have one where you can make it super easy or super hard. With our two cats doing actual jigsaw puzzles is tricky.

    • Not to get off-topic Besides the Christmas one(which is on Netflix), what other episodes has Shawn been in? What about Eric? And he now also has a little brother who is in high school, which I don’t remember from Boy Meets World.

      • Oh geez… There was an episode where Maya got a new wardrobe that Shawn was in, there was a whole storyline about Maya’s crush on the teenage brother, another storyline about Eric and politics…

        http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2543796/?ref_=nv_sr_6

        That’s the shows IMDb page. Shawn was in three episodes in Season 1. So far in Season 2 there have been 6 episodes with someone from the original show- Shawn, Eric or Mr. Turner. Mr. Feeney was briefly in the first episode and also in Girl meets Pluto.

        Hope this helps :)

      • I’ve been impressed that they have brought back pretty much everyone important from the original show in some capacity. Cory’s family has been on. Shawn has been in 5 episodes. Feeny and Eric have been in three episodes. Turner in two. They also brought back Angela for an episode this season. And I think Shawn’s dead dad appeared to him as well. Minkus has been in several episodes since he is the father of one of Cory’s daugther’s friends. More importantly Rider Strong has directed many of the episodes and Ben Savage and Danielle Fishel are co-producers on the show.

    • Yes, “Wreck-It Ralph” is also very sweet and made me do some tears and I love how it turned the princess movie on its head.

      I bought myself Inside Out because I just couldn’t wait and I watched it again twice and then watched all the special features and it was worth it!!! It’s a film of incredible depth, even though it’s a movie for kids. Bing bong Bing bong! ::tears::

  11. Yvonne, there’s this Sony Bravia Smart TV that my parents have and they love it! Comes with internet connectivity and everything, including PlayStation Now compatibility so you can play video games right on it too!
    I want so many things on this list, but mostly I’m asking for a Gal Pal hoodie for a gift because what the heck they look so good!!!

  12. Rachel- my dad’s had an infrared thermometer lying around the house for years and until about thirty seconds ago I had no idea that it even had a purpose other than ‘point it at furniture/your cat/your brother and see how warm they are’

  13. YESSSSS

    I have unashamedly asked for socks for 3 years in a row (and also for a few years in jr high and high school) because warm wool socks are fucking expensive

  14. “…and also practicing how to curl ribbon over and over again in the middle of the night.”

    Don’t open the scissors, just keep the scissors closed and use the flat edge. You don’t need the sharp side for the ribbon to curl, just something flat. I have a seasonal job wrapping presents at a local art gallery and I wrap so many things this time of year, I can probably wrap gifts/curl ribbons in my sleep. The scissors trick is the greatest thing I have learned there and has saved me from cutting my hand off.

    • You just changed my whole world. Seriously. I imagine this also prevents ribbon shredding from too-sharp scissors. Into it.

  15. that laptop stand though!! that whole etsy store! And also the whole thing about uncoated stainless steel cooking things @green, i feel that 1000000000% i just want pretty kitchenware forever. (does autostraddle have a williams-sonoma affiliate link? for #domesticqueers?)

  16. laneia, the southerner’s cookbook is lovely. my mom got it recently, and I really regret that I didn’t sit down and read the whole thing while I was home for thanksgiving. I did, however, assist her in making “bacon crackers” which are a 1950s culinary marvel featured in the cookbook and which are surprisingly tasty.

  17. Listen. Don’t buy Fallout 4. I have had no life ever since getting that game. I should be ashamed but I’m kind of not.

  18. Well, this just about covers my friends (and me. cause Eve’s Hollywood is coming home with me today.)

  19. Craigslist, in say late-January/early-February, is an awesome place to get home gym stuff. Also garage sales.

    Or pick up TRX straps (or go super hardcore and DIY them with $20 worth of stuff from Home Depot).

  20. My Lesbian Coloring Pages (adult themes colouring pages) are now a digital download for only $3.99 you can buy and print as many as you need! I have a signup feature to try and keep kids from accessing the link but if anyone remembers them from my old website – they are available here: http://www.christineleader.com/#!blank/ei1zl

    20 pages of colouring!

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