Autostraddle Roundtable: Who’s REALLY So Hot Right Now?

Wow! What a week for hotness! And lists! Two of my favorite things! Obvs as we have trouble taking things seriously, we thought it’d be a worthwhile enterprise to actually attempt to answer the question at hand: Who are your Hot Three? (Three because 100 takes too long). Unfortunately, we were unable to answer that question as well. Take a gander!




This is hard and so I’m going to cop out. I don’t like ranking people because I’m not a born decision maker, and I avoid both prioritising and culling unless I’m forced. The very top of my Hot list would probably be this girl who works in my office building. I don’t know her name or who she is, but she’s hot and I wish I did. I think Hilary Duff is hot. Clea Duvall is as well. And Amanda Bynes. The whole cast of House is hot. Every girl who has been an ADA on Law and Order is hot. Yesterday I saw my neighbour across the hall for the first time and she was hot. You’re hot.





I hate the Hot 100’s [‘cept the Autostraddle Hot 100—that was hot]. They’re tacky and superficial, based on nothing more substantive than what a person looks like. Since beauty is subjective, the idea that an entire magazine or website would have the audacity to declare someone the ‘hottest’ is senseless and embarrassing. Furthermore, a person’s actions are far more important than their genetic luck or ability to apply makeup effectively. Also, I’m a bleeding-heart and, as such, hate making lists that leave people out. It feels so mean-spirited!

So! Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, here are my Top 3 Things I’ve Gotten Off My Chest:

3. Admitting that I never really liked my grandmother’s biscuits. Biscuits are a big deal in the South.
2. Bras!
1. “Ok, so remember how I said I thoughtmight be bi…? And that crush I had on * that we always laughed about? And how truly awful our sex is? Um, yeah. Turns out, I’m actually gay! So… this [wild hand motions] is over.”




Though I agree that ranking women is problematic, I think actually it’s just another symptom of the larger problem, which is the overall objectification of women in the media (though I actually think it’s fine when it’s a model or actress being ranked—that’s like her job— but it can be misogynistic to subject any ol’ woman in the public eye to superficial and irrelevant scrutiny/rankable standards — good or bad).  A bigger problem than lists is AIRBRUSHING! That I have an issue with. A list is just another way of writing an article, and lists are great for generating traffic to your website and making people buy your magazines! That’s why us women must reclaim our spaces and re-write the lists, as many women have this weekHUZZAHTalk hard!

So anyhow, as I wrote in when I was an intern there back in ‘05, Angelina Jolie is officially the hottest woman alive. My number two is Shane and my number three is Alex Vega. The end!roundtable_angelina-foxfire




I like rankings. Mostly cause, like art, they ARE subjective so you can never take them too seriously. Also, we rank men. (Well, not “we”, but lots of straight ladies and gay men do!) And we rank things we love. And we love women. We love the way they look, but we also love many, many things about them. I have feelings too!!! However, my number one feeling is Natalie Portman, followed by Scarlet Johanson and Lindsay Lohan. (In reality my hot list right now looks more like Carlytron= #1 Hot and Sexy Team Autostraddle= #2 and this blog post= #3.) HOT!



carly-icon2Carly: Personally, I love objectifying women. And if any women want to objectify me, that’s totally alright. I love making lists too, if I could be a professional list-maker I would quit my job immediately. The only part I struggle with, personally, is ranking. I don’t like the ranking, mostly cause it’s just too hard. Who’s to say what makes one girl hotter than the next? They’re all hot. Everyone is hot. Let’s celebrate the collective and unique hotness of lady-folk! My list, in no particular order (and not including Robin Roemer Photography, LLC, who is #1 always and forever), is Eliza Dushku, Blake Lively & Sarah Shahi. Picking just 3 was really hard, you guys!





Well, I needed to research my Top 3 Whatevers so I googled ‘hot lists 2009’ and I’m so happy I did. I have now discovered Google Trends! And thus, my Top 3 as given to me by Google’s ‘Hot Trends’ of May 15, 2009:

#1 Leta Cordes—Leta what? This search term is so hot its “volcanic” according to Google! So apparently this is the name of a person who has been missing since January 11, 2008. Why is this the hottest search on google today? No idea! I’m so confused about the world.
#2 Mom Demands Do Over for Yearbook—…really.
#3 Ninnyhammer—(noun) Definition: A fool or a silly person, Google’s #3 hot trend today, and definitely a word I’ll now be using on a daily basis.

I think Angelina Jolie is #22 but you can’t see that on my screen shot. Just saying.




I don’t know how to answer this question; for me this changes all the time. I’m very Scorpio, and I obsess over things periodically – people, songs, food, movies, whatever, I DEVOUR it nonstop, and then eventually I get sick of whatever it was and move on.

I also find the whole objectification thing kind of weird, and I’m not totally comfortable with it.

That said, if you are Kaki King or Crush from American Gladiators (oh, I KNOW), call me.





Hello Autostraddle it is me Tinkerbell. Number Three is Kelly Clarkson because she’s gay like Riese my mother who I love. Number two is Littlefoot. Number one is also Littlefoot my boyfriend. He is a dinosaur and very handsome. I called him tonight but he did not call me back yet. I love him. Goodnight Twitter.



Because Natalie hasn’t yet responded to this invigorating topic, I, Riese, have taken it upon myself to answer for her, based on my scientific research executed by being her roommate and best friend. Her #1 is probs Patch. Her #2 is Alexandra Hedison, who she talks about constantly and knows a lot of info about considering her overall (alleged) disinterest in the interwebs. #3 would be Rachel Maddow, who she met at the restaurant where she was hostessing the other night. Rachel walked in and Natalie involuntarily SQUEALED (they’re not allowed to be like that to celebrities where she works) and then apologized immediately for squealing, and then Rachel laughed and touched her arm and said it’s okay, let’s start over. I’m Rachel. And Natalie was like, I’m Natalie! And I love your work and your show and what you do! Isn’t that amazing? Dreams really DO come true!


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  1. Pingback: Autostraddle Roundtable: Who’s REALLY So Hot Right Now?

    • I love how everyone who did this list analyzed the whole process of making a list and ranking women and the meaning of beauty. The more I read this site, the more I love it.

      And so many hot, tasteful pix of women!


      You ladies rock my world.

      Also, thanks for the permission to objectify you Carlytron, you are hot stuff.

  2. Know what is surreal? Watching the “Miss Bayside” episode of Saved by the Bell, and reading this article at the same time. Why? Because someone’s comments about objectification of women were what I was reading when Jessie was in the middle of talking about how beauty pageants objectify women. Mm-hmm. Surreal. And awesome.

    Also, I <3 lists too!!! But, I have problems with decisions. So, I can never pick a “Top {Anything}”. There’s always an asterisk on my lists. The disclaimer attached to the asterisk reads as follows: “This list is subject to my current mood; as such, this list may change freely over time, as my mood changes.”

    And, yes… ALL of the ADAs from L&O (and L&O: SVU, L&O: CI) are hotttttttt.

  3. laneia – you didn’t like the biscuits, really? you’ll have to meet Memee. her biscuits and gravy will change your life. (my real name is Ashley – nice to meet you)

    okay, now that that’s out of the way. My only problem with the Top 3 is… really? only 3? That said, I would like to acknowledge…

    1 or 2) Shannyn Sossamon

    2 or 1)) Kate Moennig

    definitely 3) Kristen Stewart

    • I actually had Shannyn Sossamon on my list, but was wholly deterred by the fact that I wasn’t sure how to spell her name and too tired to look it up. Her agent should look into that!

        • i L-L-Love her. that is all.

          ps – i’d be jealous of your friend Laneia… except i think trying to do ballet w/ Shannyn Sossamon would do me way more harm than good.

  4. I’m so jealous of Natalie… I would totally squeal if I saw Rachel Maddow (but I probs would have been more fangirl-ish).

  5. Girls are impossible to rank! Kakki King and her guitar/talent would probs be in my top three tho.

  6. I briefly considered trying to rank the autostraddle team but then realised that this was pure folly as the heat generated by my brain whilst trying to compute this unsolvable equation would cause me to spontaneously combust. Team Autostraddle #1

    • maybe tinkerbell is a boy?

      or bi/pan/what have you.

      idk my cat is queer because i call him she even though he has boy parts. but they’re getting cut off. so maybe tinkerbell is like my cat.

  7. (I wrote a comment and then it went away. Where? Probably to a nice farm where it could run and play and live out the rest of it’s days in peace and happiness?)

  8. Take 2- I love lists but have a problem with ranking because, like Laneia, I hate the feeling that I’ve left someone or something off, or accidentally offended anyone, or somehow did something bad. Or something. So when asked what my #1 fav ___ is I always give a list that changes evertime I’m asked. So for today, right now, May 16th 2009, 7:17pm (Chicago time) my top 3 fav hot lady peoples are… Shelley Conn, Tegan and… um… I can only pick 3? Eliza Dushku. Yep.

  9. Carly: Personally, I love objectifying women.

    LOL. Nice.

    Penelope Cruz is on my hot list right now. But yeah, I’m totes with Carly in that everyone is hot! Yay.

  10. LOL @ Carly’s first statement.

    And Riese, you are woman after my own heart. Angelina and Kate. What more could you ask for?

  11. haha grn/Laneia your no.1 is exactly paralleling my life right now!

    ….also got my autostraddle mini publicity flyers and love that tink gets some spolight on them

  12. 1.Marisa Tomei
    2. Sarah Shahi
    3. Andrea Corr

    Clearly I like me some brunettes! :) The story about Natalie made me laugh, I think if I met Rachel I’d just freeze and stare at her like I was possessed – obviously not my intention but I know it would happen!

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