Autostraddle.com Returns from Sweet’s (Ce)Lesbian Cruise, Is Tired

Photo by JD Salvatore

Photo by JD Disalvatore (look, Brooke is in there!)

Hi ladies! We’re back in New York City after a week of celesbians, alcohol, island-hopping, tanning, friend-making and aggressive networking & interviewing and we are already sad and miss the boat and have been wandering around waiting for someone to feed us. No one has fed us. Actual life is slightly depressing. Where’s our H-List at?

We will have to feed ourselves. So will Jill Bennett, Dani Campbell, Jamie Babbit, Nicol Paone, Erin Foley, Suzanne Westenhoefer, Edie Carey, Gloria Bigelow, Sandra Valls, Kate McKinnon, Cathy DeBuono, Natalie Garcia, DJ Saratonin, JD Disalvatore and all the other ladies who were on the boat. Some of you may read that paragraph and think this sounds like your worst nightmare, and most of you will realize that you must be there next time! Everyone had the chance to really make the trip their own. We like to call ours “Autostraddle’s Life on the Z-List” and we had an awesome awesome time.

Because internet access on the Sweet Caribbean Cruise was about 500 times worse than we even expected, we’ll be playing catch-up all week so bear with us!

You can read our live-blog of the cruise here, and you can also look forward to a ton of features we put together while on board, like interviews with lesbian comics and businesswomen, awesome video of our fantastic adventures and on-board performances, more photos and heaps of business features that will hopefully answer the oft-posed question “where was Autostraddle’s chief operating officer Brooke all week?”

Also if anyone is looking to sell their Mac laptop, our cruise contest winner Julia had hers stolen right before the cruise. Just throwin’ it out there!

Here’s a cute little video from one of of Intern “Editorial Assistant” Jess’s chats with Jill Bennett and Cathy DeBuono, click on the link to watch the video: Jill & Cathy on the Sweet Cruise! We’ll have a more full article about them later this week.

Cathy & Jill Talk to Intern Jess

Cathy & Jill Talk to Jess

From our Interview with Nicol Paone

Screenshot from our Interview with Nicol Paone

Screenshots from our interview with Erin Foley

Screenshots from our interview with Erin Foley, hilarious

Also we’d like to give a HUGE THANK YOU TO Intern Sarah, who took over while we were lost at sea with concussions. She did an awesome job, as did everyone on the team who worked extra hard last week for us. She’s our hero and one day I will vanish and leave her in charge hahah.

thank-you-sarah-palmer
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LADY GAGA: Last night Lady Gaga was on Gossip Girl, which was one of about ten plot devices on November 16th’s episode that made our heads explode as we watched it on the teevee while flying from New Orleans to New York City. You can look forward to more on Gossip Girl’s three in the Televisionary we will attempt to compile although Carlytron is in Buenos Aires.

TILA TEQUILA: Sabrina from OurScene TV (we hung out with her in Cozumel, she is certified awesome) and who is awesome got Dani Campbell’s reaction to the big news that Tila Tequila is a full-fledged lesbian. Unfortunately, this news does nothing for the fact that Tila is also a complete idiot.

OPRAH: For some reason people are still trying to get Oprah and Gayle King to admit that they are lesbian lovers.

LESBIAN GOSSIP: This article has a point, somewhere deep inside of it, regarding Katie Price’s lesbian affair (who is Katie Price), with references to Janice Dickinson and Samantha Fox, and some other stuff, and if you can decode it, you can win a canoeing trip down a pond in your backyard if you happen to own a pond.

LOHAN: Lindsay Lohan allegedly has a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. If this is the best shit they can come up with, rock on times of India. I also have a crush on Leonardo Dicaprio of the 90’s, because he is beautiful, almost like a hot girl.

Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2798 articles for us.

21 Comments

  1. In honor of your return, I present thee with a nursery rhyme:
    “Riese and Alex were jumping on the bed, Riese fell off and bumped her head. Brooke called the doctor and the doctor said, no more Xanax while jumping on the bead”.
    THE END
    Glad you guys are baaaaaaaack.

  2. Haha, that photo is so great. My pleasure guys! I had a lot of fun last week. Probs not as much you did on the boat, but still.
    I’d also like to point out that I’m dressed as god’s gift to women in that picture.
    Can’t wait to see the Erin Foley interview!

  3. I feel like there is nothing I could possibly care about less than this tila tequila thing. the end. Also, I like to think that the beer is part of Sarah’s costume. Like, God’s gift to women is Sarah… and a beer!

  4. Erin Foley would totally look like Yitzhak from Hedwig and The Angry Inch if you just but a little beard on her and a bandanna.

    Also, I wikipedia’d Katie Price (also known as Jordan, I guess…don’t know where that came from…)and under the politics section it read:
    “During the 7 June 2001, British General Election, Jordan ran as a candidate in Stretford and Urmston under her real name using the slogan: ‘For a Bigger and Betta Future’. As part of her comical election campaign, she promised free breast implants, more nudist beaches, and a ban on parking tickets. In the end, Jordan won 713 votes, 1.8% of the votes cast.”
    I don’t know about breast implants but more nudist beaches and no parking tickets sounds nice.

  5. Katie Price aka Jordan used to get her tits out in the newspapers here in the UK. She was married to Peter Andre (remember him? No? You are lucky), she’s one of those people who is famous but no one really knows why. Basically media herpes.

  6. Wow I loved your recaps of the trip and all the adventures you had, the pics, and everything that gave us an idea of how was it!! Looking forward for more of Jill Bennett and Cathy Debuono!!

  7. Pingback: Erin Foley’s "Lower The Bar" Keeps the Bar High for Lesbian Comedy | YGA(dot)Net

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