Anonymous Sex Toy Review: The Super Femme Sasha Harness


It’s our 51st Autostraddle Anonymous Sex Toy Review! Over the last few years, sex toy companies and stores have asked us to review their toys in exchange for, you know, their toys.

This week, one of our anonymous reviewers tried out the SpareParts Sasha harness, sent by Wet for Her.

  • Material: 77% nylon, 23% spandex
  • Color: black or red with black
  • Size:XS to 3X
  • Price: $150

The Sasha harness from Spare Parts is, hands down, my absolute favorite harness to fuck with. It feels great. It looks hot. It can hold up my stockings. And it holds toys in exactly the right place.

The most important things I look for in a harness are fit, control and whether I can come just from fucking someone while wearing it. I found the Sasha fit true to size, and was snug without feeling (or looking) like spanx with a cock attached. The material is thick, but not thick enough to make me think twice before wearing it under tight pants. It’s comfortable enough I’ve worn it as underwear when I’ve run out of clean real underwear. (A Good Vibrations rep has also said the Sasha is good if you’re interested in tucking.)

My main complaint with harnesses I’ve used in the past is the lack of control. I found the RodeOh pretty terrible for anything but gentler sex with a smallish dildo and the Velvet Nest too insubstantial to feel sturdy, though I liked it when I first got it and I’d still recommend it if you like polka dots and smaller toys. I’ve gotten great control with an Aslan leather harness, but it’s 2015 and I do not want to have to deal with a leather harness with buckles and sharp edges and things riding up in places and a distinct lack of machine washability ever again if I can help it. The Sasha does not have buckles and does not ride up and has the best control I’ve ever gotten from a non-traditional harness, regardless of how big the cock an activity partner and I feel like using that day is and regardless of how enthusiastic we get.

The o-ring sits low enough that, with the right cock (1.25 to 2.25 inches in diameter, though note it fits toys with much larger bases), I can come regularly just from moving inside of someone with no vibration needed, though there are two small pockets for bullet vibes. I do not come easily. It feels like magic.

Also, on the subject of enthusiasm, the fabric is moisture wicking, so getting sweaty doesn’t mean feeling gross. It’s also quick dry, machine or hand washable, and if you wring it out in a towel it air dries over night.

The Sasha is similar to the Spare Parts Tomboi harness, which is the essentially the same thing but without the femme details. The Sasha has a cut more similar to booty shorts, but has adjustable ties that can give it a higher cut at the sides. The Tomboi is also $75 to the Sasha’s $150. Having worn the Sasha and been on the appreciating end of the Tomboi, I think you have to be at least moderately committed to a femme harness situation and presentation to justify the Sasha’s price tag given the small differences, but as someone so committed, I am considering getting a second. It’s really neat to be able to use my favorite harness style, i.e., any harness without straps, without having it be incongruous with my gender presentation. There are bows and ribbons and ruching and removable adjustable garter straps and I can change the cut according to my outfit and I can come and have really rough sex without getting bruises from a harness or having a dildo pop out onto the floor. I am sold.

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  1. I’ve had my eye on this harness for a while now. Anything Spareparts makes is ah-mazing. I have the Joque, and now I’m probably gonna take the leap and buy this one.

  2. Cheeks flaming, I sat in my car and stared at my crotch. I skimmed my hand over my dress, practicing nonchalance while I felt the bulge at the apex of my thighs. A shiver of excitement raced down my spine, and I opened the door and got out of the car. My brain couldn’t get past the way the silicone slid between my legs, so I didn’t see her at first.

    She strutted up to me, grinning as she winked badly and preened, then did her best impression of Fonzie. Her chin-length bob was slicked back, and she wore high-waisted jeans, a white t-shirt, and my black leather jacket. I wasn’t used to seeing her so butched up, and my heart did a little flip at the change. She’d told me she was going to dress up as a “gay street tough”, so I’d dressed girlier than usual to, opting for a dress instead of my usual jeans.

    “Hey little mama. Did you fart, cause you are blowin’ me away!” she drawled with such an excessive amount of finger gun shooting, eyebrow wiggling, and hip thrusting that I couldn’t help but dissolve into helpless giggles. We collapsed onto each other, laughing. She trailed her fingers along the side of my face and neck as our breathing slowed, and then she stood on her tiptoes to kiss me. We struggled to stop grinning enough just to kiss each other properly, but we were both too elated to be with each other again. I’d been gone for a week, the longest we’d been apart in months, and a big part of me wanted to skip our date and head straight for bed.

    While I was gone we’d sent each other sexy photos, sexted, and murmured what we wanted to do to each other over the phone, but we’d both decided that orgasms were not allowed for the entire week. Instead of reuniting at home, we’d agreed to meet out at a bar so we could tease each other and delay our orgasms even further. Suddenly, though, my clit was throbbing so hard I couldn’t think, and all I wanted was to bend her over and fuck the shit out of her.

    Tugging her hand, I pulled her into the loud, crowded bar, and straight to the bathrooms. She smiled so widely I could see most of her teeth and followed me, her eyes sparkling with delight. I didn’t usually take control, and I could tell she was trying her best to let me. I pushed her into the last stall, locked the door behind us, and spun around to ease her up against the wall. We were both breathing hard, and I could feel her squeezing her thighs together.

    I stepped back from her, maintaining eye contact so she’d know to stay put. Her eyes dropped down as I slowly pulled up my cute a-line dress that had hidden my surprise, and her eyes widened when she saw the bulge in my underwear. I hung my dress on the hook behind the door and started to peel off the first pair of underwear. I’d nervously put on two pairs over the harness and dildo, and my face started to heat again as I almost toppled over trying to wrangle myself out of them. Finally, I stood in front of her with a hot pink dildo sticking out of my black panty-like harness, and nothing else.

    “Is this okay?” I asked, uncertainty rising back up in me. I’d worn her favorite strap-on dildo, a Vixskin Mustang, but we’d never strapped it on outside our own home. We’d had plenty of orgasms in public bathrooms, though, so I’d been pretty sure she’d be down with my surprise.

    Instead of answering she pulled me into her, positioning me so the dildo butted against her pelvis, and she kissed me hard. We ground together as we made out, and it didn’t take long before she started whimpering and taking off her pants. When she managed to get one leg free, she turned around spread her legs, and bent over, using the handicap railing to thrust her ass towards me.

    “Please, fuck me baby. God, I missed you so much, I just want you inside of me. I need to come.” With her pleading words and unusually submissive pose, my confidence returned, and I stepped up to her, bending over her a little to find her sensitive little clit. “Oh fuck,” she moaned, “I’m going to fucking come if you don’t put that cock in my cunt right fucking now”. I smiled as I straightened, spitting on my hand to lube the dildo.

    “Yes ma’am” I said, positioning the tip at the entrance of her pussy, and slowly sliding into her. I laughed as she growled and thrust herself back onto me, then stopped breathing as the base of the dildo ground into my own clit. “Oh shit.” I whispered, delighted, and began to fuck her in earnest.

    Each thrust into her pounded my own clit, and her constant stream of obscenities and yesses ramped me up even higher. I let go of one of her hips to smack her ass lightly. She yelped, then moaned, and I did it again, a little harder this time. I dug my fingers back into her hips, hoping I left little bruises where my hands had been. She demanded that I fuck her harder, so I did, slamming into her fast and hard, putting myself right on the brink of orgasm as the dildo massaged my clit.

    She came with a babbling stream of curses and moans, and the sexy sound of her coming pushed me over the edge. My hips slowed into hard grinding thrusts, and I collapsed heavily on top of her as my whole body exploded. I thought we might both fall to the ground, but she braced her knees and kept us upright as I continued to grind against her helplessly. I regained control of my body as soon as I could and stood shakily, helping her up as well as we leaned against the wall. We got dressed awkwardly, grinning at each other at our trembling legs and satisfied bodies.

    “Should we get a drink?” I asked, doing my best to put my hair in order and admiring her flushed cheeks and smeared lipstick.

    “Can we just go home?” She asked. “I want to try that harness on you next.”

  3. I own this, and it does not work for me as a fat lady. I am so crushed, because I was really excited to try it! It digs into my hips in a horribly unflattering and painful way. I actually tried to remove the elastic from the wide waistband to see if that would help.

    This is problem I have with a lot of lingerie and every harness that’s more than just straps (even by RodeoH): there’s not enough material to accommodate for my VERY round ass, hips and belly, so they end up either cutting into my hips, not covering up my whole stomach if I pull it up enough to fit how it should (which makes me feel self conscious, even though I’m proud of my body and I only share my bed with women who are wild about my body, too!) I just can’t wear it comfortably, I don’t even think I’ve ever taken this for a test drive.

    I got the largest size they make, which should fit me, based on the measurements. I have wasted hundreds of dollars on strap-ons that don’t work for me and I was sure this one would be perfect, since it’s the style of panty I wear most often (in a 1x or 2x, even, so I was worried the 3x would be too big, not too small!)

    By the way…if anyone wants to buy mine for the price of shipping, I will wash it on the gentle cycle and send it to you. I did cut out the elastic, but it’s not noticeable (and it made zero difference in how it fit) and someone careful with a needle could make it look brand new. I never got rid of it because it seemed like such a shame to throw it in the garbage, and I don’t think Goodwill would know what to do with it. :)

    • oh no! That sucks. I am a large lady, but my weight is all in my belly, and I was hoping that maybe this would be comfy and cute. I have the Spareparts Joque, and it is really comfortable, but it makes me kind of self conscious of my belly at times.

      I’d kind of still like to try it, though! I have a really flat ass, do you think that would make a difference? Email me at [email protected] if you are serious about selling it for just the price of shipping!

      • Totally! I just emailed you. Now I feel better about it just wasting away (…somewhere, I moved with it and have no idea where it’s stashed).

    • Lady H, Sorry to hear about your issues with the fit of the Sasha harness. Please visit our website Fill out the customer contact us form, so we can assist you in this matter.

      Best regards,


    • Hey! I’m looking at this thread because I’m in need of some new toys and accessories and this really caught my eye. Do you still have this, and if you do, are you still willing to sell it for the price of shipping?! [email protected] if you are! Otherwise I hope it went to a good home!

  4. Some commenters here have hit the nail on the head for my problem with harnesses — I run into problems due to my buddha belly (the straight lady magazines would call me “apple-shaped”).

    For undies, I wear Torrid hipsters that look a lot like this harness (in 1X), and they sit perfectly halfway down my tummy, but the reason they do that is because their waistband isn’t any tighter than the material below it.

    So getting personal, it seems like underwear-style harnesses on rounder ladies either:

    1. Have a very firm waistband (tighter than the material below it) that sits below the flub, so it all gets to jiggle out there

    2. Have a very firm waistband the sits mid-belly and is uncomfortably tight/bisecting


    3. Isn’t too tight but also offers no control.

    Ladies of Autostraddle! I am comfortable with my round body. I would like to also be comfortable in a harness (preferably one that is somewhat femme, I can get kind of dysphoric borrowing my boyfriend’s manly, strappy harness). Is it this one? Is it another one? Who has tried this shit out?

  5. This is a lovely harness. I recently bought another femme-y harness ( I like it but I don’t get a lot of sensation from the dildo base–unlike my girlfriend, who can come from the stimulation of dildo base against her clit, I need pretty intense clit stimulation to get off and this has not happened yet for me in a harness situation. I wonder if the thinner material of the Sasha would help, but the o-ring seems to fit pretty high for my body and dildo situation and $150 is a lot to gamble on somehing that may still be ineffective. I think I’ll stick with my adjustable harness and just enjoy pleasing my girlfriend, especially since I’m not on the giving end very often…

    For the price, I’d rather just buy the Vixskin Outlaw, tbh.

    • I replied to you, down below in the wrong spot :/.

      FYI SpareParts harnesses in general are worth the price. I believe you’ll never go back once you start wearing them. They’re that nice. I think you just need to take time to pick the style that is right for you.

      • Thanks for the tip! I did scroll down and read your reply. :)

        I also really like SpareParts as a manufacturer, we have packing trunks made by them that are super rad and comfy. I know my current harness probably won’t be my forever-harness, but right now I’m on the receiving end of strap-on play 98% of the time and my girlfriend is still getting used to the idea of receiving herself, so something this pricey doesn’t seem worth it in the short term. She’s butch, so she likes a different style harness than I do and is also a different size, so it’s also not a shareable purchase. However, if my femme-dick becomes more of a hit I may consider a different style harness.

        I definitely want to try this:

        If I prefer the brief style after making my own, I’ll probably consider a more expensive long-term version like the Sasha. Also, getting a job might add to my [extremely important] sex toy budget. ;)

  6. I LOVE my Sasha. I could never really get into being the penetrator before the Sasha. I felt like I had to be less femme in order to do it, and would spend a lot of time trying to get into the right mental space to be less femme, which would then kill the mood. It had literally never occured to me that the act of putting on a strapon could *help* me get in the mood, until the Sasha.

    But, I’d agree that the waist is a bit weird, and could be improved upon.

  7. Honestly, I’d recommend the Theo by SpareParts. It does not get enough love compared to their other styles. It’s not as femme as the one you linked or the Sasha, no bows or ruffles, but it’s basically a sleek-ish thong and it pairs well with bras. It’s a lot more femme than the Joque and more importantly for me it provides more control and it sits lower on the pelvic bone. That’s a more natural angle for penetration and if you’re not someone who is overly sensitive you’d be more likely to be stimulated from the Theo than the Sasha, no guarantees of course.

    I was scared by the thong style, but it’s shockingly comfortable and it’s very easy to adjust.

  8. I also love the Sasha, and I’m really glad to hear that I’m not the only person with fit issues (32-28-40/”pear”, to the “apple” girl. it’s not just your body type!). I own a medium, and when I’m at my slimmest (about a 6), then it slides on like a dream. if I go up to an 8, there is no give, and it’s downright embarrassing to put on in front of a partner. TBH, I gained a little more weight that I have in a while, and not being able to put on my harness to sexy music is probably THE major motivating factor for my weight loss. eff jeans. I can buy new jeans.

    still, for control and mutual stimulation, it’s my favorite.

    and THAT BOW! <3

  9. Just bought he Tomboi because I couldn’t justify paying twice as much for bows and lace. Another advantage: you’ll want to hand wash the Sasha to keep it intact but the Tomboi can go in the wash (neither should go in the dryer).

    The WeVibe Tango seems to fit in either style, which is nice if you like a strong rumble vibe. Haven’t field tested how well it’ll stay in place—yet.

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