Also.Also.Also: Let Lesbians Eat Cake and Other Stories We Missed This Week

Today is Wednesday, which means my plans are to leave Los Angeles/cry in an airport while simultaneously feeding your need for moar news! Here’s all the stories we missed last week while I was looking for famous people/sitting in the same room as Damien from Mean Girls.

Lingeries for Trans* Ladies

Chrysalis Lingerie is made for and by trans* women.

Men/Women Are More/Less Same In Brain Space

Men and women aren’t psychologically distinctWe’re all psychologically distinct and lie somewhere different on the gender / sex spectrum. It’s science!

A first-of-its-kind study to be published in the February issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology has dealt a devastating blow to the notion that men and women are fundamentally different when it comes to how they think and act.

“Although gender differences on average are not under dispute, the idea of consistently and inflexibly gender-typed individuals is,” Bobbi J. Carothers of Washington University in St. Louis and Harry T. Reis of the University of Rochester explained in their study. “That is, there are not two distinct genders, but instead there are linear gradations of variables associated with sex, such as masculinity or intimacy, all of which are continuous.”

Analyzing 122 different characteristics from 13,301 individuals in 13 studies, the researchers concluded that differences between men and women were best seen as dimensional rather than categorical. In other words, the differences between men and women should be viewed as a matter of degree rather than a sign of consistent differences between two distinct groups.

Ellen, Stop Making Me Cry

If I went to college with Ellen and Portia they really would have rocked our Tumblrverse.

Stories from the Underground

A Redditor is proud of his badass grandma for leaving her homophobic church. Go Grandma Go!

A kid that attends the church and is in high school is gay, and apparently his parents wrote to the pastor asking what should be done about this. The pastor took the letter the parents wrote, and read it to the entire congregation, outed the kid, and told everyone that they would “work together to address this problem of homosexuality.”

My grandmother stood up at this point, said “There are a lot of problems here, and him being gay is not one of them.” She apologized to the boy, then walked out the door. She just got back from turning in all the stuff she was responsible for for the church’s yard sale and Bible School activities. The pastor is furious at her, but the associate pastor told her that he has a feeling she might be the catalyst, leading a lot of people that are unhappy with things out of the church, and that he himself was uncomfortable, because situations like this are what have led some teens to suicide.

It’s a small thing, and I’m not the best storyteller, but I’m so proud of her, and thought I’d share.

Harlem may become the newest LGBT hub in Manhattan if they build the super-innovative Community Pride Center there. President Obama would probably lay the stone and build it himself if he wasn’t out pressuring the Boy Scouts to suck less and making vague hints about a national approach to gay marriage.

In Bangkok – and around the globe – people are growing to understand and accept trans* identities and bodies into their lives and hearts.

A gay cadet at West Point got his Cinderella on and went to the Winter Formal with his main man. It was adorbs. Did I mention the RNC is dying a slow and painful death as the “permanent minority, which is funny.


Equally adorable are these “traditional” gay families photographed by Alix Smith.


Power lesbians experienced a big win this week when StartOut launched a lesbian entrepreneurial mentorship program. For queers more interested in higher ed, there was a panel for that with more university presidents participating than I’d probably ever feel comfortable standing near at once. If you’re shooting for the real stars, aim slightly lower and go into politics and you might be as famous/loved/amazing as Sonia Sotomayor.

I Would So Read These

BuzzFeed found the 12 most insane Pulp Fiction covers of all time.


Support These Films! And Listen to This Podcast

For your ears: Queer Inquiries, a podcast all about gay people in pop culture and touching yourself and so on.

For your eyes: “Her Tragedy,” a low-budget festival flick in the making that needs your cold hard cash to produce an eloquent drama about “belonging” and other feelings you can relate to.

For your brain: “An Abominable Crime” needs monies to tell the story of Simone Edwards, a lesbian chased by anti-gay gunmen who chooses between hiding or leaving home.

I Don’t Understand How To Play Football

+ Not Another Fake Girlfriend Story:

I knew I was gay, but I felt like I couldn’t be out as a football player. At that age, it just seemed impossible. You never saw gay people playing football. And then there was the actual homophobia in the air. In prep school, I’d hear people call each other “faggot” all the time in the locker room. I kept my head down, scared to look at anyone. In junior college, which I attended between prep school stints, it was the same way. I didn’t get changed after practice – I’d go back to my room. I wasn’t really attracted to the guys, anyway. There is nothing erotic about football to me, and I don’t ever think of football and sex together. I guess it’s sort of like when your friend lets you know he’s 100 percent straight and immediately becomes off limits.

It was really scary. When you’re starting out at prep school or college or whatever, it’s a bunch of people just meeting for the first time, playing a super competitive sport where you’re hitting each other. Back then, you didn’t want people to find out you were gay at 18, 19 years old.

During this time, I would try to say as little about my “girlfriend” as possible, just when it was necessary. If I was going to see a guy one weekend, most likely a married one I had met off AOL, I was “going to see her.” If I had to go call a guy, I’d be “calling her.” I remember certain truths about the girl, like what her father did for a living and who she was related to, but that’s about all I would say.

I had a fake AIM name for my fake girlfriend. I’d login to her account in a school’s computer lab, lock the computer, go to my dorm room and IM her so that her away message came up. Everyone was in and out of everyone else’s rooms, and I was one of the only ones with a computer. People definitely saw that message. My roommate never did, though. He didn’t care. He played basketball and was kind of awkward.

+ The Super Bowl ads: yay or nay, it’s important to remember it’s not as bad as this shit.

+ Chris Culliver is homophobic, but he’s volunteering to make up for it!

It appears that something good might come from the anti-gay remarks made Super Bowl week by San Francisco 49ers defensive back Chris Culliver. The Trevor Project, an organization helping LGBTQ youth, announced that Culliver will work with the group after the Super Bowl. Culliver’s PR rep Theodore Palmer told the Associated Press:

“He’s so passionate about youth and people being comfortable with who they are and accepted by all,” Palmer said. “He’s excited to learn. The plan is with The Trevor Project, and their concerns are that he is genuine about his words.”

+ Two fellow 49ers also forgot they were in an It Gets Better video. I’m saying “forgot” while I roll my eyes.

BROOKS: I didn’t make any video. This is America and if someone wants to be gay, they can be gay. It’s their right. But I didn’t make any video… I don’t remember that. I think if I made a video, I’d remember it. [After being shown the video…] Oh, that. It was an anti-bullying video, not a gay (rights) video.

(Go Ravens!)


Two women denied a wedding cake by an Oregon bakery are gonna get a cake to have, eat, and rub everyone’s face in for free should they choose to get back to Duff Goldman of Charm City Cakes, the bakery from the show Ace of Cakes.

Astounded by the “hate” of a baker who denied service to one of the women, Goldman tweeted that he would make the cake free of charge – and has also pledged to deliver it. Get on it, random unidentified lesbians without a cake!

Must Love Dogs

When some random dude in Tennessee tried to euthanize his dog because he “thought it was gay,” members of the community saved its life.

gay-dog-euthanized-21694A Facebook campaign was set up to try and save the “gay” dog, according to the Atlantic. A Facebook post detailing the troubling situation called for immediate action.

Via Facebook: This guy was signed over to RC, not bc he’s mean or bc he tears things up, but because… His owner says he’s gay! He hunched another male dog so his owner threw him away bc he refuses to have a “gay” dog! Even if that weren’t the most assinine thing I’ve ever heard, its still discrimination! Don’t let this gorgeous dog die bc his owner is ignorant of normal dog behavior! He’s in kennel 10L and he WILL be put down tomorrow bc there is no room at the inn!

Luckily, the healthy pup has been saved.

Gawker notes that a woman named Stephanie Fryns, who is affiliated with the animal rescue group Woof Connections, said that she planned to adopt the dog.

“I am adopting this big boy first thing in the morning,” she wrote on the Facebook page for the animal rescue group Save The Animals Together (S.T.A.T.). “He will be neutered/ htwm tested/ and vetted. He will be temperament tested and then places in a rescue verified and approved home.”

A Jackson Rabies Control employee confirmed to HuffPost that the dog was adopted on Thursday morning. He had been scheduled to be euthanized at 1:00 p.m.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!


Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.


  1. As a Christian, I think that one issue that other Christians have today is asking themselves what Jesus would do in certain situations. Even if you believe homosexuality is wrong (which I don’t but I know some Christians do), you still have to put your beliefs aside and serve them no matter what. A woman at my church recently told me a story about how she believed that women who are unwed mothers should be shunned from the church. She even told the congregation a story about how her previous church through her a baby shower when she was pregnant with her first child but they did not through a shower for an unwed mother-to-be who was pregnant at the same time because she was unwed. She told us that she was proud of her church for making that decision and that she fully supported it. My pastor told her that he believed that was a self-righteous view and that if Jesus were to be in that situation, he would have given the woman the respect she deserves because the truth of the matter is that everyone sins and it is not up to humans to judge them, it’s up to God. Sorry for going on, that’s just something that really bothers me about a lot of Christians who don’t seem to understand that the reason it’s called Christianity is because Jesus Christ is our savior and he never judged anyone the way that a lot of Christians do today.

    • I agree with this completely Also, for an example of how even people who disagree with homosexuality can still ask themselves what Jesus would do and put their feelings aside:

      My stepdad is a pastor for a relatively conservative congregation (even though he himself is totally pro-gay, pro-choice and a proud Democrat). His denomination recently decided to ordain people who are openly LGB despite their previous stance that anyone who has sex outside of marriage (which would obviously be any LGBs in a homosexual relationship since the church doesn’t honor their marriages yet) cannot be ordained. One of the other local churches decided to leave the denomination over their disagreement with that. The other people on his council (this is one of these things where the congregation has more say than the pastor does) decided not to because, even though some of them didn’t agree with homosexuality, “what someone does in their private life is none of our business and we’re not going to go prying into that.”

    • I mean, people need to remember that Jesus spurned the company of self-righteous priests to hang out with prostitutes and tax collectors. A judgmental asshole he was not when it came to picking his friends.

      • Exactly that’s how I feel completely. What denomination is that? I’m only curious because my church belongs to the ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America)and they decided to ordain LGB people as well but this was already a few years ago. My pastor was at the national meeting when they decided to do this and she said that she watched dozens of pastors just walk out of the room and their churches decided to leave the denomination.

        • Presbyterian Church USA is what my stepdad’s church is a member of; the thing about them deciding to ordain gays only happened this pasty ear. The other church that left I think is defecting to the Presbyterian Church of America, which is their more conservative, homophobic offshoot.

          • And my “pasty ear” I mean “past year” although that has to be one of my favorite typos I’ve ever made on this site.

    • Also on the list of new and awesome fashionable things…

      – Veernyc is a fellow androgynyous clothing company that has gained support and could use more! They’re indiegogoing right now and could certainly use more of our support <3 <3 ( I wish those cat faces could transform into hearts) and

      – Sistah Sinema, an online movie ressource site for Queer women of color will launch (after a successful online campaign) this upcoming Valentine's Day!!!

      And LES downtown, another NYC clothing store looking to showcase the Upper East Side (I think) is also looking for support!

  2. I took a picture of that SATAN WAS A LESBIAN cover (in sticker form) this weekend. Yet more evidence that Autostraddle has been stalking me.

    • I genuinely had a class this week involving that book. I’m starting to think Autostraddle is a semi-self-aware cosmic being that knows what all lesbians are doing at all times and keeps itself relevant that way.
      (PS reading Satan Was a Lesbian was … An experience. )

  3. First the grandmother leaving her homophobic church, then the West Point cadet with his date, followed by the gay family portraits… I’m an emotional puddle of happy crying right now.

  4. Well get ready for more feels because I just saw that ABC Family has green-lit two new shows…including one featuring TWO LESBIAN MOTHERS AND GROWNUP! MAX RUSSO from Wizards!!!

    ((But mostly I’m emphasizing on two moms on American TV…like, OMG YOU GUIZE. ALL THE HAPPY FEELS!))

    Did I mention it was produced by Jlo?

    • Here’s the facebook page:

      ((Cross fingers and hope that its well-written and full of good storylines and good feelings!))

      This week makes me gayer than usual with France and Britain updating their laws, queer fashion becoming more accessible, Outweek at UBC…and so many happy thoughts!!! *sniff*

    • I was just wondering about JLo’s show since I haven’t heard much about it.. thought it was canned. So glad it’s not!

  5. Even though Republicans may be turning into a “permanent minority” don’t count out that they will still try to steal election by gerrymandering districts in their favor (pretty much the entire reason they still have the House – more Americans voted for Democrats in House races) and even trying to make it so that their electoral votes are divvied up by said gerrymandered House districts. Everyone who cares about democracy and protecting it needs to read this:

  6. Can we talk about that gay dog? That was the most ridiculous thing I’ve read since “The Fountainhead” in senior AP English. Also, I really just wanted to type “gay dog.” I WISH pets could be gay.

    • I once had a dog that I always thought was a dog but we found out later that she was just born with like a male dog’s body and brain but female parts. She was a Weimaraner and she was huge like a boy Weimaraner and we always thought that she was just not interested because we always tried to breed her with males and she never wanted to and then we got a female puppy and all she would do is try and hump her. Sooooo, who knows?

    • Your Ayn Rand jab makes me want to hit the + button to infinity, but unfortunately, I can only hit it once.

  7. Also, the bakery posted an incredibly racist comment on facebook before they took down their facebook page. Apparently they use a vile mixture of bigotry in their recipes.

  8. I don’t think I’ve ever said how happy Also.Also.Also. makes me.
    These stories (loved that badass grandma one!) cheer me up after dealing with my issues in life, like assholes I deal with every day and sleeping problems I deal with every night. They also ground me to reality a bit, just from hearing news about the world; it always reminds me that a lot of things in the world are shitty, but a lot of things are getting better too. I can’t even express how much getting to read this awesome column every week means to me. It’s just amazing.

Comments are closed.