A-Camp May 2013 Recamp #1: Over The Mountain and Into The Woods We Go

Welcome to the first of four fantastic recaps of our experience at A-Camp 3.0, which took place 2.5 hours outside of Los Angeles at Alpine Meadows Camp atop a mountain in Angelus Oaks, California, from May 23rd-27th, 2013. These recamps serve to ease our collective separation anxiety, enable us to wax nostalgic over times gone by and provide prospective campers with a brilliant glimpse into the A-Camp Experience.

A-Camp was the genesis of an idea Riese had at 3AM in July 2010: the concept was to take the spirit of the website into three glorious dimensions and create an affordable vacation for queers for whom other lesbian-marketed vacations aren’t a perfect fit.  In April 2012, we did it for the first time— along with 160 campers and 35 staff members, we rented out a summer camp in its off-season and enjoyed a transformative weekend of fun, friendship, panels, workshops, classes, sports, entertainment, events and so forth. It was probably the most awesome experience of our life and we knew from there it would only get bigger and better — and it did, in September 2012!

Which brings us to May 2013, when our largest-ever group of campers arrived on the mountain, and were greeted by dedicated counselors and treated to four days of kickass programming. Swagger 101! Comedy Improv! Yoga! DIY Body Scrubs! Hop-Hop Dance! Kink Panel! Know Your Whiskey Tasting! Recess Games! Drag King Workshop! Femme Luncheon! Lilith Fair! Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard! DeAnne Smith! Somer Bingham! The cast of Unicorn Plan-It! Calendar Girls! Team Autostraddle! Most importantly: EACH OTHER! And So. Much. More.

In the past, these recamps have been exhaustive recollections of every minute of A-Camp, but this time we’re tightening it up a bit. See, A-Camp is whatever you want it to be — and it’s something different for everybody. You all have your own stories in your hearts and brains and cameras and in the notebook paper pieces in your back pockets and this is our story of what goes on behind-the-scenes and also in the front of our brains to make this whole she-bang come together with relative grace. Are you ready? I don’t think you’re ready. (Also, we miss you!)

A-Camp May 2013 Recamp #1: Pre-Camp & Day One

Monday, May 20th

The night before traveling to Los Angeles, a lengthy reply-all takes place as everybody panics and also worries about Gabby having bronchitis. 

Tuesday, May 21st: Pre-Pre-Camp

The day before Pre-Camp, the A-Camp staff makes its way to the campsite in Angelus Oaks, a mere 2.5 hours outside of Los Angeles. This involves locals driving in vehicles and foreigners traversing land and/or sea via air and landing at the Los Angeles Airport to be retrieved by an overpriced shuttle and taken up the mountain as a family or, for those arriving later in the day, via rented automobile. It is a joyous time of reunions and introductions.

Riese Bernard, Editor-in-Chief & Runaways Counselor: Marni and I drove down to Los Angeles on Monday and stayed at Alex’s, and then drove to Angelus Oaks the next morning while Alex and Mary fought the epic battle of Boxes-Of-Hoodies vs. Car. As per ushe, I’d had to compact all five feet and ten inches of my body into a overhead-bin-friendly size in order to fit all our camp supplies into our economy-sized rental car, which included three bags where my legs would normally have rested. But once we began the mountainous ascent, my fixed-muscular-position-induced fibromyalgic pains faded and were replaced by this nervous anticipatory feeling of being back at Alpine Meadows! It’s so weird how much it feels like home. And I knew that in 24 hours it wouldn’t even seem like a big deal that all my best friends were a pebble’s throw away and in 48 hours there’d be 147 brand-new faces and 112 familiar faces right there with us!

Marni, Contributor & A-Camp Co-Director: Altitude aside, I feel so lucky that we’ve found Alpine to host A-Camp. Katie, the site’s Group Coordinator and erstwhile “lunch lady” has been nothing short of amazing in accommodating all of our weirdo requests (can we use your photocopier to make flyers for our afterparty at “Klub Deer”?), and the kitchen staff (who had only been recently installed on-site a week before we arrived) were champions in meeting our group’s exhaustive dietary needs. Even the housekeeping staff and groundskeepers ask me for camp t-shirts and tell me how excited they are to have us and how much they want us to come back. And for a group like ours – weirdo queers of all stripes – that kind of warm, welcoming, enthusiastic acceptance is really something.

Stef, Contributor & Bombshells Counselor: Katrina and I didn’t fly together, but we did go to the airport together, and in the process we were chased up the subway stairs by a very scary and very aggressive crackhead. Suffice to say, by the time we disembarked from our respective redeye flights, we were a little bit fried.

Rachel, Senior Editor & Slayers Counselor:  I was able to recognize Taylor immediately because she was the only person in LAX wearing Google Glass to drink lemonade in an airport bar. Kristen and Whitney were there too, and Kristen had thankfully brought several full-size bags of ketchup chips. God bless Canada.

Stef: I want to talk about Ali, and the fact that Ali flew in a goddamn bowtie. She stepped off the plane looking like a million bucks. Like, I thought I was ahead of the game because I followed Lizz’s article about how to feel less disgusting after flying, but Ali took this to another level entirely. I was about to learn a lot of amazing things about Ali this trip, like the fact that she rises with the dawn each morning, beaming widely, looking fresh as a daisy and ready to greet the day, while I communicate exclusively in dinosaur noises before my morning coffee. I am obsessed with everyone on Autostraddle staff and every single camper, but currently I am obsessed with Ali the most.

Riese: Also Ali got stopped by airport security because they thought her binder was a bulletproof vest, which is horrible/hilarious.

Carmen, Contributing Editor and Inferno Counselor: Geneva and I were coming from Los Angeles and expected to be on time, but a mixture of overpacking, last-minute camp cabin decoration shopping, and general inabilities to coordinate our time well led us to show up at LAX fifteen minutes later than our peers with a Quesadilla Maker (a gift for Brittani Nichols, of course) and a 12-pack of beer in tow using one of those Smarte Cartes (why the e’s?) to cling to our sanities and lives.

Lizz, Contributing Editor and Starjammers Counselor: I know it sounds lame to say “I had so much fun hanging out with everyone in the airport,” but it was just so good to see the staff. We were all exhausted and giddy that we ended up just shooting the shit for hours instead of doing typical airport things like listening to music or reading.

Stef: Because I was wearing a goddamn captain’s hat, somehow I ended up in charge of collecting all the staff members and putting them on a shuttle, and in this process I was able to shed the negativity that had literally chased me here and start getting pumped about what we were about to do. It was so exciting to slowly amass a giant group of Autostraddle staff, both returning counselors who I already knew I loved working with and the newer writers, who were all amazing in their own right.

Mey, Contributor & Slayers Counselor: I was totally starstruck… these are some of the people who helped to shape my queer identity. This is the website that I lurked on seemingly forever in order to get advice and find like-minded people when I was too scared to come out or couldn’t find queer lady friends in my hometown. And now I was sitting on a bus with them? Now I was getting hugs from them? This was too much.Meeting all these people and becoming a part of their community filled me with so much hope and love and warmth and brightness.

Lizz: Even the long drive up was fun. As we approached the mountain Ali started to get a little nervous about the huge death cliffs. Okay obviously I did too. I tried to tell Ali stories to make her feel better but the only ones I could access in my brain-space were scary ones about me and heights. We got there safely in the end though I suppose.

Mary, Calendar Girl & Little Rascals Counselor: It took Alex about four hours to pack our car before we nabbed Brittani and drove up the mountain. By the time she was done, the vehicle looked like it belonged to a hoarder. Driving on the freeway in downtown LA with no way to check your blindspot? Priceless.

Riese: Robin and Carly got to camp right after we did and we were SUPER-EXCITED about the shuttle showing up with all the humans in it so we hid behind a tree for 20 minutes waiting to leap out from the woods and surprise everybody. It was super-exciting, and then I got to see all the people and also meet Mey and Cara and Kristen for the very first time! And later that night I’d meet Kate for the first time!

Mey: Here were Riese and Laneia, who had given me chances and encouragement to write for Autostraddle and share my feelings and experiences in a way that no one ever had. Here were Kristen and Lizz who wrote things that had helped me shape my identity and grow as a femme. There were Kate and Carmen and Hansen, whose columns I read all the time, and Whitney and Katrina whose articles I love (and everyone else I didn’t mention, it’s not that I don’t love you, I’m just running out of room to gush).

Sophia, Inferno Counselor: I was a hot mess Monday night, I didn’t have my flights in order or anything, I was sending nutty emails out like PRE-CAMP IS TOMORROW?? when my flight left in less than four hours. I missed my first flight out of Dulles, but managed to get on the next flight to LAX leaving seven hours later and arriving in the evening. It turned out to be very fortuitous as Kate missed their flight as well and we got to chill with “I’m in a black suit and know everything about LAX” Konstantin who gave us free snacks and showed us how to be truly indifferent while driving 60 mph up the mountainside.

Wednesday, May 22: Pre-Camp

The day before camp, the A-Team prepares for camp: we meet with our panel groups to finalize conversation topics, decorate cabins, prepare gift bags and workshop supplies, rehearse the opening ceremonies, participate in Being a Good Counselor 101, tour the grounds, make pigeonholes, and talk about our feelings.

I. The Cool Clear Light Of Day

Hansen, Contributing Editor & Scissor Sisters Counselor: For some reason, every morning at 6:30am, Kristen and I would wake up without alarms, she’d look over the edge of her bunk to see me staring at her and then we’d quietly creep over to Wolf for coffee. Intern Grace and Crystal were usually there, too. One morning, Intern Grace insisted we watch T is for Twig. Don’t EVER watch T is for Twig.

Riese: This year Robin and Marni were super-serious about everybody completely planning out and being 100% ready for their workshops like a month before camp even began, which made pre-camp oddly… not stressful? Which’s an uncommon feeling amongst employees of Autostraddle.com.

Meredydd, Business Advisor & Golden Girls Counselor: There is always a moment during pre-camp when I look around and can’t believe that I am surrounded by such an amazing, diverse, dedicated bunch of staff. And that everyone is giving their whole selves to make sure camp is as good as it can be. It is inspiring.

Mary: Co-counseling with Grace is my favorite everything. She is seriously one of the best people I know! We just love seeing everyone and learning about our campers. Also we decorated their cabin with baby shower decorations, including “Welcome Baby!” balloons. Grace let me use confetti and I love confetti!

Crystal, Music Editor & Toros Counselor: Carly and I were under the impression that we’d ordered one single inflatable cow to act as cabin mascot for the Toros cabin, so imagine our delight when we tore open the Amazon package and discovered an entire inflatable cow army inside. We’d only been on the mountain for 24 hours and I was genuinely concerned that my A-Camp experience had peaked.

Riese: Prepping for the sex panel = talking to Lizz, Daniela and Ali about sex for an hour. I learned a lot about lube.

Taylor, Contributor & Vipers Counselor: I love everything about pigeonholes, from the fact that they are called pigeonholes to the full range of creepy to heartfelt messages (and objects!) that arrive in them to the ongoing saga of how to make them structurally sound. And making tiny notes for my cabin (VIPers!) during pre-camp gave me a great way to impress everyone with my Artistic Talents, by which I mean showing off a miniature watercolor set that I bought to make it look like I have Artistic Talents.

Riese: Vanessa followed Kate around for most of the afternoon making headlines out of their every move – Butch Writes On Her Laptop. Butch Eats Breakfast. Butch Sits On A Bench. Butch Eats An Egg Roll. For sure Kate found this HILARIOUS. (Seriously though, still waiting for Butch Bleeds, inspired by the altitude-inspired nosebleeds.) No but really we don’t know how else to express love besides this manner of joviality.

II. Butch Goes On A Solo Hike

starring: Kate

Kate, Contributing Editor & Tiger Beat Counselor: I’ve never been to the West Coast before, but I grew up in the Adirondacks and I was a hiker before I was a walker. Living in Philadelphia makes me miss the mountains more than anything, and being in the middle of California mountains? My heart just about jumped out of my chest. Actually, it literally did that too, since binder + high altitude + physical activity = continual lack of proper breath.

I heard about the lookout point and decided I would go find it myself. I need a lot of solo moments to regenerate myself when I’m in an intense situation. Since camp is one intense situation after another and I’d been there since Tuesday, I needed that regeneration by Wednesday. So, I took a hike. By myself. Which we explicitly told you not to do, and which I would explicitly advise you not to do.

I saw a lot of blue-bellied lizards. Y’all have lizards! With blue bellies! And birds I’ve never seen before, and trees I’ve never seen before, and my favorite thing about the very limited travel I’ve had is seeing things I’ve never seen before.

The lookout was stunning. I took a couple very deep breaths and had a moment to myself. And despite the fact that so much of camp was beautiful because there were amazing people around me, the moment in which me, myself, and I processed everything that was happening was so very worth it.

III. Ice Ice Baby

Brittani, Contributing Editor & Hellcats Counselor: In the weeks leading up to Camp, Stef jokingly tweeted about how many Smirnoff Ices she should bring to Camp. Since it’s been a dream of mine to unironically Ice people, I showed up with a variety pack. They were well worth the space it took up in Alex’s packed car might I add. It didn’t take long for me to ice Carmen which she fully appreciated because she knew it was a sign of affection.

Carmen: I got pinned to go first. I chugged valiantly on one knee in clashing patterns while Brittani lovingly chanted, “bros icing bros, bros icing bros…”

Brittani: Carrie also found herself iced before I eventually lost interest and decided it was too difficult. There was no way to predict who would walk through what door when, making it impossible to effectively ice anyone. I think Robin got iced the last day of camp with a Smirnoff I left in Julie and Brandy’s room but I missed it. Maybe next time with more people down for the cause, icing will make a comeback three years after its initial popularity.

Riese: We capped off the evening with a fire circle in which everybody cried and shared their feelings about what Autostraddle meant to them, and it was intense and beautiful. Also: cold.

IV. Over the River and Through The Woods and Up The Mountain We Go

Crystal: Somer Bingham and DeAnne Smith joining us on the mountain late Wednesday was a definite highlight. I am the biggest fan of both these people, they’re just so funny and talented and chill! They showed up a little after midnight because Somer Bingham experienced a series of travel mishaps that I now feel could’ve only happened to Somer Bingham.

Riese: I’d rented a car in Somer’s name and she realized when she got to LGA that her drivers license was expired, but assured me she could “turn the 3 into an 8” by the time she landed in LAX.

DeAnne Smith, The Talent: Somer and I drove up the mountain in the dark, late at night, pretty sure we’d be murdered. When we arrived, we were greeted by Marni, who offered to park the car, carry bags, and give me lip balm. That was way better than dying, and only a tiny taste of all the goodness A-Camp and it’s amazing humans had yet to provide.

Next: Our first day of actual camp!

Thursday, May 23rd: Camp Day One

On Day One, three team representatives return to LAX to coordinate camper shuttles, while the rest of us stayed onsite to finish set-up, register campers as they arrive, and run drop-in activities. Then campers are subjected to a top-secret Cabin Initiation Process and escorted to the Opening Campfire to be delighted by our singing skills. On Friday morning, camp proper will begin. 

I. Hello Morning

Somer Bingham, The Talent: After crossing the country from LGA to LAX via O’Hare, missing a flight while sitting at the gate, discovering my driver’s license was invalid, being stuck on the tarmac for two hours, and driving up winding mountain roads at midnight WITHOUT GUARD RAILS (!), I woke up on the beautiful mountain where 300 A-Campers were about to arrive. Pretty awesome. And that morning started with a glorious hike. I think it’s a strong memory of A-Camp because it was the beginning, when everything was so new to all my senses and time felt refreshingly slowed down.

Sophia: Carmen and I were running off such excited and nervous energy all morning, making shirts and decorating the cabin, throwing streamers at each other’s faces and yelling things like ‘if they don’t love us at least we love each other!’ despite that we’d been in email contact for a couple weeks and everybody seemed like lovely reasonable folks.

II. Call Of Airport Duty

Stef: Once you get to the campsite, the rest of the world seems far away and inconsequential. It seems impossible that you could just jump into a car and jump right back into normal society, but that’s exactly what Daniela, Meredydd and I did – bright and early Thursday morning.

Daniela, Intern & Starjammers Counselor: People make me anxious, and new people make me even more than a little bit anxious. It took me like 20 minutes to leave my cabin and get in the car that Stef would drive to the airport, I kept changing clothes because “it’s the first impression that counts.” I kept changing my A-Camp hoodies, too. Three hours later we arrived to the airport to spend the rest of the day receiving campers that could not care less about what we looked like as long as we showed them the way to A-Camp.

Meredydd: The last time I loved being there when campers first start trickling in, welcoming them and seeing the site fill up with smiling, anxious, excited faces. This time I got to see all those faces at once at the airport.

Stef: None of us had ever been in charge of transportation before, and we weren’t quite sure how this would work, but we quickly transformed into an efficient check-in machine. We gathered teams of bright-eyed, bowtied queer ladies by the baggage carousel, trying to introduce them to their cabinmates when we could. My favourite moment was Jill Stromberg (I see you, Bombshells) sitting on the floor, reading tarot cards for her fellow campers while waiting for the last shuttle – “Ah, three of knights. That means you’re going to have a threesome at camp!”

Daniela: It is intoxicating to be in such a little terminal with so much giddy for a thing you’re a part of. Being at the airport set the mood for the blast that was the rest of camp. Also, if I hadn’t been part of the airport team I wouldn’t have gotten Jill to read me my tarot, so it was like a win/win/win situation.

Meredydd: Running the shuttles to camp was one of the hardest things I have done. I wish I could have spent more time talking to campers but remembering and keeping track of 150 names and flight times was all my brain could handle. Daniela and Stef were the best team airport I could have asked for.

Stef: Once we’d amassed enough queers to fill a shuttle, I’d lead them pied piper style across LAX to the bus stop. Turns out loading 49 babes onto a bus and waving bon voyage as they take off for the promised land has always been a fantasy of mine, and I fulfilled it three times that day.

III. Hello, Campers!

As afternoon descended, the campers started showing up.

Riese: After we spray-painted tank tops for the Runaways and finished up the cabin decoration business, Laneia and I manned the registration table which’s always a TREAT because we get to see everybody’s faces and hug their bodies the moment they arrive. I sorta feel like a stalker when I first meet our new Runaways because I’ve been taking notes on their personalities and printing out photos of them and pasting them on index cards so I could be sure to be prepared for their faces and personalities, forgetting that the moment you meet someone all that shit you memorized is replaced with like — their energy. And other intangible things.

Carly, Contributor & Toros Counselor:  For the new campers it was really exciting to see what they were experiencing as they arrived, and for the returning campers it was shrieks and laughter and hugs all around.

Riese: I surprised myself with the degree to which I freaked out every time one of my campers from last time showed up. I can’t wait ’til next time when I’ll have TWO sets of former Runaways to freak out about.

Mary: Meeting all of the new Little Rascals and seeing the returning campers that were in our cabin last camp is always really special to us. They grow up so fast!

Gabby, Writer & Foxfire Counselor: I volunteered for what is now one of my favorite things in the world: greeting campers when they make it to the top of mount feelings! Holy crap, me, Vanessa, DeAnne Smith, Marni and Jill at one point were all huddled together up there just waiting. I felt so goofy and happy. The thought of being the first face ya’ll saw up there filled me with super amounts of geeky joy and excitement. I even made a video that we posted to tumblr starring Marni, DeAnne and Vanessa. Literally that’s how excited we were even after like ten utility trucks and construction vans passed by and we waved to the men driving them even though we all wished they were you but it’s cool.

Gabby: So so so, then y’all started arriving in your cars, some of you with your parents and that’s when I really started to geek out. You rolled down your windows for us and gave hugs through passenger side windows and I felt that you were just as excited to see me/us as we were to see you. It was so sweet to see some of the returning campers in cars with newbies and ya’ll were blasting Tegan and Sara, Robyn, Frank Ocean and it just felt like all our queermo playlists were riding up the mountain with you. And then, and then the first bus of campers came up and I think my heart exploded. A gaggle of you rolled out of that bus like motherfucking champions ready for todos los feelings with your boxes of beer, guitar cases, floppy kitten hats, wicked side shaves w/ designs and big ass beautiful smiles. Ahh! Best job ever.

Lizz: Greeting campers on the first day was such a rush. Intern Grace and I hid out in the woods waiting for the bus. I had on these really cute white seersucker shorts and literally three minutes before the bus arrived I sat in tree sap! And then Intern Grace told me it looked like I had pooped my pants!! So when the bus arrived I told all the girls the only rules of camp were the rules in the binder and no making fun of my ass! The grrls got of the bus and practically ran to check in. It was quite a sight!

Kristen, Contributing Editor & Scissor Sisters Counselor: I wasn’t excited or lively enough to be nominated as an Official Bus Greeter, so I just got to sit around Wolf for a few hours while everyone else Did Things. Intern Somer, Hansen, Julia, Ali, Whitney and I sat on slightly jagged rocks, eagerly awaiting all of your attractive faces and greeted campers with a fervor normally reserved for Justin Bieber, Tegan and Sara or some other lesbian icons. We were Second String Greeters so of course we had something to prove. You guys made me swoon by how stylish and QUEER everyone looked, even after a hair-raising three hour commute. So many rainbows! And bowties! And clever homosexual pun shirts! I was equally impressed by how much luggage and booze people could carry over rocky, downhill terrain. Even in heels! I had never seen so many handles of vodka before! You guys arrived like rockstars!

Carrie, Community Managerette & Tiger Beat Counselor: Our campers arrived in tiger-themed gear on the first day! Thankfully tween magazines have about one hundred posters in so many pages so the walls of Cabin 5 were quickly filled with One Direction, Bieber and Selena Gomez (for better or worse). Sidenote: Did you know that Intern Grace has a subscription to Tigerbeat? Real fact.

Jill, Wild Things Counselor: Haviland and I’s Wild Things were so friggin’ cute. I mean, cuter than the Little Rascals cute (who were pretty cute, but just not quite Wild Things cute).

Marni: On the first day everybody is arriving at different times and registering and getting oriented, and it’s a sort of magical in-between time when there are queers in little pockets all over the place, jamming and talking and getting haircuts and playing on the swings.

Cara, Contributing Editor & Bombshells Counselor:  As the shuttles poured in, Whitney, Somer and I led a rotating group of very talented campers through renditions of popular favorites from the “You Know How I Know You’re Gay” XM Station.There were shoutalongs, melodicas, harmonies, and cardboard tube percussion.It was a great way to transition to A-Camp Life, where you can be as quiet or as loud as you want and everyone sits in the same circle.

Crystal: I walked outside of Wolf Lodge, where campers were registering, to see Somer, Whitney, Cara and some of the more musically inclined campers having a huge jam session. At one point Whitney lead a rendition of Michelle Branch’s “Everywhere” which was spectacular even though no one knew the words to the verses.

Stef: When we’d assured ourselves that Operation No Homo Left Behind had been a thrilling success, we jumped back into our trusty rental car and booked it back up the mountain with just enough time to greet our cabins before heading to the opening campfire.

Marni: The first time we’re actually all together, though, is the first dinner. It’s always a little bit strange at first, since everybody’s excited and on edge, and some people haven’t been to camp before and some have. That moment is always really special for me, because I know that while lodge names and meal hoppers and trails are still this foreign concept, in a day’s time we’re all going to be this big crazy family and it’s all going to make sense. It’s an exciting feeling, that knowing anticipation. Robin and I got on the announcement microphone at the start of the meal and I just said “Check one” into the mic, and the room erupted. Across the room I saw DeAnne Smith looking at me like “This is the craziest, most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed, what even is this.” It blew me away.

 Next: Night-time activities!

III. Before Night Falls

Cabin Initiation, followed by Rainbow War Games

Sophia:Our campers arrived in threes and fours and sometimes stragglers came later but we sat in a circle in our cabin and dove into each other’s personalities and bonded over consent and our favourite article of clothing. The Infernos won my heart and now there is a fire there that pulses with y’alls names.

Crystal: For cabin initiation Carly and I we asked our campers, the Toros, to send us a song that meant something special to them. We sat around for an hour after dinner playing everyone’s selections. It was so amazing to hear campers yell, “whoever chose this song, I love you!” only moments after meeting each other. I feel like only music can create such a rapid love fest.

Rachel: Mey and I were running around all over the place and didn’t catch all of my beautiful/perfect as they came in, but our cabin initiation made up for that. We played a version of “Celebrity,” which Liz informs me is a game that actually already exists and that I did not invent for camp, although I thought I had. Our cabin had so many Xenas, all of whom were hilarious. The Slayer cabin’s love for strong, independent and ass-kicking women is undying. We also made Buffy-themed feelings notebooks for camp. Mine was full of feelings almost immediately.

Riese: Our initiation ceremony involved The Runaways and The Blackhearts, the latter of which contained many Runaways September 2012 Alums. The details are secretive, but the message is: BE RIGHT HERE. Leave everything else at the bottom of the mountain and be here. Welcome to our cultish ’90s-themed grrrlzine faux-slumber-party, we command you to have some fucking fun.

Gabby: The Foxfire Cabin initiation was redubbed “The Familiation” because we wanted to build family and not like claim any part of weirdo fratty pressure type things (obvs that’s not what initiation at A-camp is ever about. Also, Katrina and I like being fancy). We wanted our campers to feel like they were already part of a family and that we were doing something to solidify that bond. AnyMcwayz, instead of Katrina and I coming to Foxfire with every slogan and chant planned out, we came to the familiation with some unfinished marching/protest chants and asked our Foxes to fill in the blanks and/or create something new. We gave them five minutes and when we came back, they had some good good stuff. Elizabeth “Make it Rains” Rains read the new chants outloud and together we found our cabin voice. Also, we talked about how important it was to treat each other with the utmost respect and love and all that good shit. The Familiation was a complete success.

Ali: As I met each Outlaw individually, I knew I was going to like my cabin. But nothing could have prepared me for the cohesive camp machine I was about to co-counsel. During the Color Wars station games, the Outlaws won Balloon Tag and Tug O’ War. By the time we walked into the photo booth with Robin, my cabin had its very own tagline: “How can we win this?” So they set about trying to win photos. They built a human pyramid. I actually have no idea how that photo turned out, but darn it if my cabin didn’t try to win photos. Over the next few days, they went on to win several unannounced games, such as “Making Ali Cry On the First Night” by giving me a birthday card (the first day of camp was my birthday), supporting the fuck out of their cabin mates, impromptu spray painting and “Making Ali Cry on the Last Night.” Outlaws, you may not have gotten color war points for any of those things, but you win in my heart.

Jill: On the first night of camp when we were doing the inter-cabin competitions, I could tell that the Wild Things were going to fall on the “Team Polite” side of scale when it came to competitiveness. They were full of apprehension when I told them the last competition of the evening consisted of a trial of “speed and dexterity.” When they reached Eagle lodge and saw that they had to do a balloon stomp, their faces filled with horror. And it wasn’t just Team A vs. Team B balloon stomping – no it was a four rainbow war color teams free-for-all. As they nervously tied on their little green balloons I advised them on war strategies so they would not be balloon popped right out of the gate. But to my surprise in that moment a great change came over the Wild Things. They became fierce balloon hunters and won the balloon stomp free for all!!!!! Never have I known a prouder moment.

Gabby: Tug of war. Tug of war. Holy shit, Robin thank you for making me the boss of something. Sick as a dog and losing my voice, I jumped on that tug of war as if my weirdo little life depended on it. I have to give a huge shout out to every cabin for being such good sports every time I shouted “don’t touch my rope!”. The Golden Girls killed it even though they only had like 5.5 people on their team. Also, mad love to my Foxfire babes for winning the tug of war and shouting “Foxfire, Don’t stop!” like a million times afterwards and forever.

Riese: We were so good at “being right here” that we missed all the Color Wars games? But I wasn’t about to miss the motherfucking photo booth action.

IV. Those Girls Are ON FIAR

Marni: At the first two camps we took time during the first night campfire to introduce all the staff one-by-one, and it dragged on forever and we knew that we had to find a way to do it that was less static and more fun for everyone. We had this crazy idea to change around all the lyrics to “Part of Your World” from the Little Mermaid and make it about the staff, and Riese pounded out the lyrics in one night at home. Carly, because she is magical, had downloaded a karaoke version of the song and spent part of pre-camp painstakingly splicing it to match our much-longer version, which we then scrapped in favour of doing it a cappella (thanks Carly!). All the staff were troopers about it and it was a really fun way to kick off camp.

Riese: Katrina Dangermouse Casino was like ten minutes late and we couldn’t start the song without her so I tried really hard to convince them to use Mel, a camper in The Blackhearts, as a stand-in ’cause she’d just gotten a Katrina haircut from Katrina and so maybe she could just cover her face, Riese-style, while crossing the stage, and nobody would know the difference! But then Katrina showed up and anyhow nobody thought it would be funny to swap in Mel besides me.

Robin: There aren’t many moments in one’s adult life when you can stand up in front of a crowd of other adults and sing a ridiculous version of a Disney song and receive a standing ovation. I am so grateful for the staff so being able to introduce them with Marni was an honor.

Riese: Not gonna lie, our song was fucking awesome. Highlight includes “Up where we walk / up where we run / up where we fuck Liz with a strap-on / You’re gluten-free / now you will be / part of A-Camp.”

Robin: I loved looking out on all the smiling faces of the campers who remain my top reason for coming back to work on camp every session and feeling their support and love.

Brandy Howard, The Talent: The opening campfire is always a huge highlight for me. The air was freezing, but the atmosphere was hot, hot, hot. I guess that’s what happens when hundreds of gorgeous girls gather around a huge burning fire pit. Plus, It’s always white hot when Julie always sings her camp anthem, Gay Baby Army (Now Available on iTunes!). This year there was no mic stand so I held the microphone for her, and my right shoulder got so hot I thought all the cartilage was going to melt into my collarbone. See how I did that?

Riese:I’ve started taking “Gay Baby Army” really seriously. Like I hope you’re all on board with having a Gay Baby Army for real, because when we all sing “Gay Baby Army” together with Julie Goldman I kinda feel like we could win a war of some kind.

Crystal:The Toros and the Bombshells (the other Orange cabin) had to perform a song on the opening night and within literally ten minutes of meeting they had formed a cheer troupe called the Toro-Bombs and wrote a cheer inspired by Bring It On. It was so damn impressive, Stef, Cara and I were so proud.

Riese: I think this was the camp where I realized once and for all that what makes camp special isn’t 50% us and 50% you, it’s definitely 15% us and 85% you. Like how do you guys manage to write a cute song/cheer with 30 other people in about ten minutes and then perform said cheer/song for 300 other weirdos on your first night atop a mountain? Because you BURN BURN BURN LIKE FABULOUS YELLOW ROMAN CANDLES EXPLODING LIKE SPIDERS ACROSS THE STARS. That’s why.

V. BEWARE THE BEARS

Crystal: I’d been checking out the nitelyfe in Klub Deer with camper Katie Millar when we heard a loud clashing sounds coming from near the swing-set. I assumed it was an intoxicated camper stumbling around in the dark, running into trash cans, and moved closer to help out. It was not a drunk camper. It was a 70 foot devil bear. I’m an Australian, I don’t do bears. So I did what I believe most people would do in a life-threatening situation: I called Marni to come and save us.

Hansen: Kristen and I were leaving Wolf around 3am through the side doors, and Crystal and a camper were standing there. Crystal was on the phone, and when she saw us, she very calmly held her hand over the receiver and said, “Oh, there’s a bear down by the swings.” So calm. I panicked. I clutched people. I hyperventilated.

Stef: So I was having a drink in Wolf Lodge when Marni walked in looking very fucking serious. “There’s a bear down by the swings,” she gravely announced, “but I can’t tell everybody in Klub Deer because they’re all going to want to run out and Instagram the bear.” Obviously that was all the encouragement I needed to run outside to try to catch a glimpse of that which we would later dub Lilith Bear.

Crystal: While waiting I got to work securing the scene, by which I mean I advised Hansen and Kristen to watch out for the bear.

Hansen: Marni showed up, talking about cap guns or bear blasters or whatever Canadians have, and we all watched this black bear steal trash near the swings with our flashlights. I was honestly way too terrified to do anything but whimper.

Stef: Lo and behold, there was indeed a huge black bear rooting through the vegan marshmallow leftovers in the trash, though I’m told it was just a cub. I’d never seen a bear in the wild before, and when Marni shone a flashlight on it, the cub looked at us like a guilty dog caught drinking out of the toilet and shuffled off back to the woods. Carmen, in case you were wondering, THIS is what ambling looks like.

Hansen: Then the bear tried to attack us and Crystal wrestled it to the ground. No, that’s the truth.

Crystal: I’m not crazy about the word “hero” but I think we can all agree that I saved lives that night.

Hansen: The next night, two of my campers and I walked past the swings and thought we saw a bear but it was just two people hooking up. Way less terrifying.

 In our Next Recamp, we experience our first day of Camp and we just might be quoting YOU!

A-Camp 4.0 will take place October 9th-13th and registration will open soon!