3 Tarot Spreads for Checking in with Your Relationships

If you’re looking for a relationship tarot spread, you’ve come to the right installment of Fool’s Journey! Today I’ll be sharing a few relationship tarot spreads with you, which you can use to look at what’s going on with your relationships. Firstly with your one-to-one relationships, secondly a spread for polyamorous folks, and lastly a little spread that’s just for loving your wonderful self.

Header by Rory Midhani

Header by Rory Midhani

First, a couple of little tarot-land updates… Remember the Slow Holler queer/Southern tarot project we mentioned a few weeks back? Good news! Its ambitious Kickstarter campaign was successful and the deck is going to be produced — which means another beautiful queer tarot deck soon to be available. Hurrah!

Also, if you’re interested in taking your tarot practice further, did you know I’ve created an eight-week online course? It’s called the Alternative Tarot Course and it’s $25. It’s a little like The Artist’s Way, with daily and weekly practices, lots of exercises to try out, and a different topic each week. I’m just sayin’!

New to tarot? A ‘tarot spread’ is a predetermined layout for your cards, where each card has a specific position — check out the spreads below and you’ll see what I mean. Typically, you’ll shuffle your cards, then lay out one card at a time according to the spread. Each card is then interpreted according to its position.

You, Me and Us: a relationship tarot spread

This spread can be used to examine the relationship between any two people – for example, you could use it with a friend or a colleague or of course with a partner.

The first column of cards represents you (or person 1, if you’re reading for other people). The second column is the other person (person 2). The third column runs down the centre of the spread, and represents the relationship itself.

Relationship Tarot Spread of 10 tarot cards

Person 1 
1. How they view themselves
2. How they view person 2
3. How they view the relationship

Person 2
4. How they view themselves
5. How they view person 1
6. How they view the relationship

7. A key strength in this relationship
8. A weaker point in this relationship
9. Where the relationship seems to be heading
10. Advice: What the relationship needs

PS If you’re short on time or just want something simpler, you’ll find a mini version of this spread here!

Photo 05-05-2015 16 37 30

A polyamory tarot spread

There are two different versions of this spread. Sometimes you want to look at the whole shebang, and draw cards for the other people involved (version 2), other times you want to focus on yourself and your needs, without the distraction of other peoples’ energy (version 1).

Either way, this spread has a one-person focus at its heart. What I like about this spread, and why I often use it with poly querents, is that its focus is so strongly on what the individual is experiencing.

The card layout remains the same whichever version you choose:


Version 1

The focus is totally on you as an individual here, looking at where you’re at and what you bring to/need from the relationship.

1. Who you are in this relationship – two cards, one crossed by the other. The first is you, right at the centre. The second is your ‘challenge’ at this time, or something you are carrying.
2. Your special skills – personal qualities you are bringing to the relationship (three separate cards)
3. A potential issue, and a possible solution.
4. A potential issue, and a possible solution.
5. Your safe place – when you are giving and receiving so much love and energy, it’s important to have a place where you can retreat. This card offers an idea of a place that is just yours, something you don’t have to share if you don’t want to.

Version 2

The focus stays mainly on you, but there is space to bring in other partners and a card for the relationship as a whole entity.

1. Who you are in this relationship – two cards, one crossed by the other. The first is you, right at the centre. The second is your ‘challenge’ at this time, or something you are carrying.
2. Energy brought by other people into your relationship/s. Lay as many cards here as you have partners. Each of these cards represents one of your partners, how they are affecting you right now or what they are bringing to the relationship.
3. A potential issue, and a possible solution.
4. A potential issue, and a possible solution.
5. The foundation of the whole thing – why you are doing this, a safe place that everyone can come back to if things get rocky, or something you can celebrate together if things are good.

Tarot cards in a relationship tarot spread from Fountain Tarot

Cards are from The Fountain Tarot

The ‘why I’m totally awesome’ tarot spread

No partner? Just need some self-love? This relationship tarot spread is just for you.

Try using this as a ‘flash-card’ spread — so immediate, one-line responses only. Try not to go too deep, just say or jot down the first thing that comes to you (for an example, check out my personal reading using this spread.)Solo relationship tarot spread diagram

1. What’s totally awesome about me is…
2. My favourite thing about myself is…
3. I am brilliant because…

And if that hasn’t sorted you out, go right ahead and pull one more card:

4. One reason it doesn’t matter if I have one lover, three partners or no sweetie at all is…

Have you got a favourite ‘relationships’ tarot spread? Tried out any of the spreads above? Or got any tips for doing tarot in couples or groups? Let us know in the comments!

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!


Beth Maiden is a tarot reader and writer based in Machynlleth, mid-Wales. She has two cats, a hot builder girlfriend, far too many tarot decks and not enough coffee cups. She's really into bread, the colour red, camping and brand new notebooks. She'd love to cut your hair, read your cards or hang out with you on her blog, Little Red Tarot!

Beth has written 111 articles for us.


  1. I LOVE the me, myself and I one. Such an important relationship, the one we have with ourselves, that often gets overlooked in discussions and articles about relationships. <3

    • Right? I made it cos around valentine’s day I got a bunch of people emailing me feeling sad and it was like ‘I know this is cheesy, but LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!’

  2. Not specific to this post, but I am really loving this series. I’ve kept my woo-woo side pretty much under a blanket for ages, but your posts inspired me to check back in. Tried out some of the apps, loving what I’m discovering in myself. Thank you!!

    • Thank you Kae! So glad you’re enjoying the column and *TAROT*! Good luck on your journey… no need for hiding under blankets here <3

  3. I am loving this series! I’m such a perfectionist newb, but had a coworker ask me about tarot and wanted a novice reading! Went so well and helped me realize I’m heading in the right direction!

    • Wow – well done! Reading for other people can be really intimidating – good for you for taking the plunge @egypt

  4. Honestly, the rampant pseudo science on autostraddle is causing me to check the site less and less and less

  5. Just signed up for your course! I’m very much looking forward to starting and I will *try* to stick to the schedule but may race ahead.

  6. Love these! I read tarot but have a personal policy to use it only for insight but not fortune-telling (that is, I don’t use spreads that have outcome/”what will happen” cards), so I find these spreads very refreshing. I also love that they seem respectful of the autonomy of all individuals involved.

Comments are closed.