29 Things We No Longer Understand In A Post-Camp World

  1. How to make my own food
  2. How to not open a beer at 4pm
  3. How to check my mail
  4. That the scissors are in the same room as me
  5. Get into or out of a bed that isn’t a top bunk
  6. How to use the desktop version of my own email, Facebook, etc.
  7. How many times i am able to wear the same articles of clothing without judgement
  8. Why drinking outdoors is not legal
  9. How to spend most of the day inside
  10. How to make real coffee
  11. How to function without being surrounded by tons of awesome people
  12. Why we can’t just take a break and collage and/or drink tea all the time
  13. Why it’s unacceptable to ask my co-workers if they need to process their feelings or if they’d rather just get drunk in deer lodge
  14. That sometimes the cute lesbian who looks like a 12 year old boy is, in fact, a 12 year old boy
  15. That you aren’t supposed to show up to your job with a purple bandana wrapped around your bicep
  16. Not everyone in real life went to the sex panel
  17. It means something different when someone says a bear has been spotted in the vicinity
  18. How to exist in a world where no one asks my preferred gender pronoun
  19. That I can no longer tell strangers that their clit deserves it
  20. That the hopper isn’t coming to clean up my dishes
  21. What my day’s going to be like without Marni and Robin telling me my schedule
  22. How to deal with having unlimited time in the bathroom
  23. The notion that some meals might not actually be that great with Cholula
  24. What it’s like to go to sleep before 3 am
  25. That that couple holding hands — that femme-y girl and that adorable boi — is actually a straight couple
  26. That towels can actually be beautiful absorbent things and not $3 pieces of “fleece” from the grocery store
  27. Digesting food
  28. How to handle EST
  29. What to do with all these leftover bandanas.

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133 Comments

  1. Real talk: it’s my second day away from camp and I’m wearing my blue bandana on my head and You Do You shirt to school/in public.

    The only reason I wasn’t wearing it yesterday was because I had to many feelings and was home from work all day.

    Also also, every single girl/boi/person I see is queer. Right?!

  2. 30. Why I can’t just use the men’s room.

    Apparently, there are way more men in the outside world. Who knew.

    I was washing my hands next to Sexual Croce and chatting about how weird it would be to go back to the real world, have to use the women’s room, and deal with straight people. Esp straight girls. NOT ALL THE GIRLS ARE QUEER HERE.

  3. This list! And the comments! I didn’t think I could miss Camp more, but now I do. It was a moment today at work when I responded to a co-worker about a movie she saw this weekend with ‘Oh yeah, Rachel Weisz is SO HOT.” and instead of a rousing chorus of agreement or other hot girls names shouted out…crickets and looks of discomfort. Damn, I miss Camp.

  4. Speaking of…two weeks ago I got mistaken for a 12 year old boy. Not sure if that’s better or worse than the time the lady at the bowling alley thought I was the 14 year old son of my friend’s wife.

  5. Oh my god, #14. I haven’t been to A-Camp, sadly, but I trip up on that one all the time. It’s even worse when she turns out to be an unusually tall prepubescent girl instead of an androgynous lady my age. It makes me feel like one of those predatory older lesbians from the pulp novels.

  6. Reading this, dealing with feelings of the WOC panel where I’m at. I’m just, “I get it, seriously!!”

    How does one function after something so amazing? I’m really serious.

    How? No, hoooooow?

  7. A Camp… jealous like you wouldn’t believe. But as ever, I am sadly lacking in time off work, money to fly to the other side of the world and in fact nerve to go meet all you amazing ladies in person. So I’m just enjoying Camp vicariously through your blog/news posts while sipping tea and vaguely wishing I lived on the other side of the Atlantic.

  8. I’ve never been to A-Camp before but now I really really really want to go. A lot. Because it sounds like a place where there might be s’mores and the group happiness that s’mores lead to.

  9. i want to go where the homos are
    i wanna see, wanna see the sex panel
    talkin about those- what do you call em,
    oh- clits!

    out where they are, having queer fun
    out where they stay all day in the sun
    wandering free
    wish i could be
    in a-camp’s worlddddd

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