29 Things We No Longer Understand In A Post-Camp World

1. How to make my own food
2. How to not open a beer at 4pm
3. How to check my mail
4. That the scissors are in the same room as me
5. Get into or out of a bed that isn’t a top bunk
6. How to use the desktop version of my own email, Facebook, etc.
7. How many times i am able to wear the same articles of clothing without judgement
8. Why drinking outdoors is not legal
9. How to spend most of the day inside
10. How to make real coffee
11. How to function without being surrounded by tons of awesome people
12. Why we can’t just take a break and collage and/or drink tea all the time
13. Why it’s unacceptable to ask my co-workers if they need to process their feelings or if they’d rather just get drunk in deer lodge
14. That sometimes the cute lesbian who looks like a 12 year old boy is, in fact, a 12 year old boy
15. That you aren’t supposed to show up to your job with a purple bandana wrapped around your bicep
16. Not everyone in real life went to the sex panel
17. It means something different when someone says a bear has been spotted in the vicinity
18. How to exist in a world where no one asks my preferred gender pronoun
19. That I can no longer tell strangers that their clit deserves it
20. That the hopper isn’t coming to clean up my dishes
21. What my day’s going to be like without Marni and Robin telling me my schedule
22. How to deal with having unlimited time in the bathroom
23. The notion that some meals might not actually be that great with Cholula
24. What it’s like to go to sleep before 3 am
25. That that couple holding hands — that femme-y girl and that adorable boi — is actually a straight couple
26. That towels can actually be beautiful absorbent things and not $3 pieces of “fleece” from the grocery store
27. Digesting food
28. How to handle EST
29. What to do with all these leftover bandanas.


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132 Comments

  1. Thumb up 31

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    I just went grocery shopping and kept thinking I saw MoC queer ladies out of the corner of my eye… then I would look and they were actually just dudes. A-Camp goggles are a thing, you guys.

  2. Thumb up 11

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    Real talk: it’s my second day away from camp and I’m wearing my blue bandana on my head and You Do You shirt to school/in public.

    The only reason I wasn’t wearing it yesterday was because I had to many feelings and was home from work all day.

    Also also, every single girl/boi/person I see is queer. Right?!

  3. Thumb up 7

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    30. That when you do something awesome or encourage your friends it will not be accompanied or the hunger games sign.

    YOU FEEL ME ON THIS, RUNAWAYS?

    • Thumb up 6

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      Oh i definitely hunger saluted a car that let me cross. I was wearing my bandana around my wrist and my camp t-shirt because that kind of feels like armour now. Also, I kind of wanted to snap in class when someone made a smart comment….
      *hunger salute*

      • Thumb up 1

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        merbear i love you they probs def thought you were a neo-nazi

        and yes! you can’t just snap when someone speaks your truth. also less people speaking your truth.

        • Thumb up 3

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          ahhh yes, that would be why they looked at me like that…. oh dear.

          less people speaking my truth, but now i’m speaking it louder so there’s that!

          i love you t-pain and miss your face lots and lots. please come here to visit now <3

  4. Thumb up 12

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    To be clear, I was not at A Camp and #14 JUST HAPPENED TO ME IN STARBUCKS. I really thought she was cute. Then she was a scruffy kid.

  5. Thumb up 7

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    Everyone in real life should go to the sex panel.
    Also, I was waiting for the bell to ring so I could eat dinner last night. It never happened. Luckily my roomie came home and made me dinner eventually.

    • Thumb up 2

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      I brought a roll of masking tape to label things. It was gone within an hour, never to reappear. From then on I kept my sharpie on my person until the end of camp.

  6. Thumb up 24

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    30. Why I can’t just use the men’s room.

    Apparently, there are way more men in the outside world. Who knew.

    I was washing my hands next to Sexual Croce and chatting about how weird it would be to go back to the real world, have to use the women’s room, and deal with straight people. Esp straight girls. NOT ALL THE GIRLS ARE QUEER HERE.

  7. Thumb up 5

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    This list! And the comments! I didn’t think I could miss Camp more, but now I do. It was a moment today at work when I responded to a co-worker about a movie she saw this weekend with ‘Oh yeah, Rachel Weisz is SO HOT.” and instead of a rousing chorus of agreement or other hot girls names shouted out…crickets and looks of discomfort. Damn, I miss Camp.

  8. Thumb up 2

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    Speaking of…two weeks ago I got mistaken for a 12 year old boy. Not sure if that’s better or worse than the time the lady at the bowling alley thought I was the 14 year old son of my friend’s wife.

  9. Thumb up 1

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    Didn’t go to Camp unfortunately (millions and millions of sad faces, perhaps next year?) BUT numbers 14 and 18 have totally happened to me in the past. Felt so weird after #14, haha.

  10. Thumb up 47

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    Not two days after leaving A-Camp, I came out to my dad. Though he’s took is badly, you beautiful ladies gave me the courage.
    A-Camp changes lives.

  11. Thumb up 40

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    The patriarchy is no longer a reasonable explanation to why you haven’t done homework, washed dishes, or changed your clothes.

  12. Thumb up 8

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    I want nothing more than I want to go to A-Camp.
    Sidenote, most of this list applies to me with the title “29 Things I No Longer Understand in a Post-Smith College World.”

    • Thumb up 6

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      A Camp is like Smith College’s J term without the snow. All play and no homework.

      AKA the best thing to happen to me outside of going to Smith.

    • Thumb up 2

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      for the record, this will be true for you Smithies for a long time. going back to your reunion will only increase the withdrawal / difficulty of dealing with the real world. (reunion, though, will be totally worth it while you are re-living the overwhelmingly queer debauchery of your smith years. i imagine there are a lot of similarities to a-camp.)

    • Thumb up 3

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      COSIGNED. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve accidentally checked out an adolescent boy because I just left Noho, I could buy myself a drink at Tunnel Bar.

  13. Thumb up 8

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    Oh my god, #14. I haven’t been to A-Camp, sadly, but I trip up on that one all the time. It’s even worse when she turns out to be an unusually tall prepubescent girl instead of an androgynous lady my age. It makes me feel like one of those predatory older lesbians from the pulp novels.

  14. Thumb up 1

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    Reading this, dealing with feelings of the WOC panel where I’m at. I’m just, “I get it, seriously!!”

    How does one function after something so amazing? I’m really serious.

    How? No, hoooooow?

  15. Thumb up 5

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    Can I just say how much I’ve been talking non-stop about Acamp and no one understands me. Also how much I’ve been thinking everyone is queer. I miss everyone so much!

  16. Thumb up 9

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    I had my first class of LGBT Studies today, and the teacher tried to explain pansexual as being attracted to everything equally. Nope, nope, nope. I do not understand.

  17. Thumb up 3

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    A Camp… jealous like you wouldn’t believe. But as ever, I am sadly lacking in time off work, money to fly to the other side of the world and in fact nerve to go meet all you amazing ladies in person. So I’m just enjoying Camp vicariously through your blog/news posts while sipping tea and vaguely wishing I lived on the other side of the Atlantic.

  18. Thumb up 16

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    really, I would be just fine in a society modeled after A-Camp and I don’t know why this isn’t a life option.

    #somanyFEELINGSyall

      • Thumb up 1

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        Never been. Would like to (even though I’m prob too old and also have too many responsibilities right now).

        But! You know what would be great? A permanent A-Camp site/campus/intentional community. Where people could live. And other people could visit to recharge/recover.

        This is precisely why I quite fancied being a nun for a while when I was a kid – till I remembered the whole religion thing…

  19. Thumb up 6

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    omg, I didn’t even go to A Camp and the other night I totally hit on this boi who turned out to be a boy. 🙁 He would have been such a cute lesbian.

  20. Thumb up 10

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    Why signing my name on a young woman’s left breast is only acceptable at an elevation of 7400 ft in the middle of the San Bernadino Forrest surrounded by roughly 300 queers

  21. Thumb up 3

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    I’ve never been to A-Camp before but now I really really really want to go. A lot. Because it sounds like a place where there might be s’mores and the group happiness that s’mores lead to.

  22. Thumb up 3

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    i want to go where the homos are
    i wanna see, wanna see the sex panel
    talkin about those- what do you call em,
    oh- clits!

    out where they are, having queer fun
    out where they stay all day in the sun
    wandering free
    wish i could be
    in a-camp’s worlddddd

  23. Thumb up 1

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    #19 had me laughing so hard because it’s so true.

    Also, I’ve started snapping in meetings and classes when I solemnly agree with someone’s opinion, and I get weird looks. I’M JUST SHOWING SOLIDARITY WITH YOU, GAWD!

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