Hello and welcome to this thing we’re doing where we help you figure out what you’re gonna put in your mouth this week. Some of these are recipes we’ve tried, some of these are recipes we’re looking forward to trying, all of them are fucking delicious. Tell us what you want to put in your piehole or suggest your own recipes, and we’ll talk about which things we made, which things we loved, and which things have changed us irreversibly as people. Last week, we ate dark chocolate.
There was a time in my life when I was a stress baker. Finals? Red velvet cake! Waiting for someone who will clearly never text me back to text me back? Cupcakes! Weird pseudo-breakup whose contours are impossible to clearly articulate? Also cupcakes! That isn’t really my coping mechanism anymore, mostly because I don’t have time to bake or eight thousand roommates to eat the things I bake. What if, however, you could have all the sugar highs (and lows) of baking without having to go through all the steps of traditional blending wet into dry ingredients and waiting to cool before frosting? What if you didn’t even have to turn your oven on? And instead you just sort of combined 3-7 ingredients that taste good and then maybe stuck it in the fridge for a while? Welcome to the world of no-bake baking, where cheesecake-related recipes rule with a fudgy fist, and where cakes, pies and cookies live together in harmony.
Thank you!!! <3
Waiting for someone to text you because you had a kickass third date and you don’t want them to know how crazy into them you are so you are waiting even though it’s killing you: time for Oreo truffles!!!
Rice Krispie cakes were one of the few things I was actually allowed to help make at home when I was little, and I haven’t thought about them for ages but now I really want some!
I had the misfortune of making some chocolate vegan cookie bars last week because the woman I’m seeing is making the switch to a vegan diet and I wanted to be supportive. Those cookie bars were simultaneously slimey and chalcky as well as all around disgusting. I’m not even sure how they managed that feat. In my mind I was thinking” God I hope I at least get some sex out of this because these are fricking horrible.”
I didn’t get any sex. Which is fine though. Disappointing sure, but she didn’t owe me any sex for doing a thing. I don’t support “nice girl” culture so I was chill. That was until she put on a beyonce album and danced around wile eating her share of the cookie bars. Being the non confrontational person I am, I ate the rest of my share as well and just smiled through it.
Long story short: I spent the night eating some sorry ass excuses for a dessert, while listening to an artist that I don’t even like and watching my gorgeous, rhythm lacking girlfriend dance around in her underwear. It was a frustrating, taste bud murdering night.
What I’m saying here is that I’m gonna try that cookie bar recipe and I pray to whoever may or may not be in a heaven that may or may not exist, that these ones have a better turn out for me.
Tastes like success.
I could live off these. I could probably live off just the first one.
So , Rachel, I assume you had to try all these desserts, right? To make sure of their deliciousness before recommending them to us ? :)
Yay! Gonna throw this out there to add to the no-bake pile:
This is a vegan, raw, gluten-free cheesecakesque thingy. I am not, as a rule, vegan, raw, or gluten-free. It is just delicious. I think it’s probably best to make the day before so it can freeze overnight. You could also easily just make a graham cracker crust for this, if gluten-free is not an issue.
did anybody else wish they had this stuff in front of them in place of what ever you were going to eat next?
I totally stress bake!!! “Weird pseudo-breakup whose contours are impossible to clearly articulate?” – so my life right now…..I’ve made brownies from scratch, cupcakes, chocolate caramel cream puffs, and cake :( Luckily the people at work eat them so I don’t have to….
Wow that turtle cheesecake trifle is everything.
There are some weeks that I’m in a sort of co-dependent relationship with Autostraddle, where it just enables all my bad life choices like super easy desserts.
are they bad life choices or are they delicious life choices
Oh golly. I’m just saying that if you made me the Turtle Cheescake Trifle in a tupperware container, then came camping with me and got up at 5 am to go fishing, then brought out said Trifle…I would never.ever.ever. let you go.
I don’t have an oven. THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY!
Ohhhhman how was I unaware of this Reese’s Oreo situation??
Please please pleeeeeeease set your links to open in a new window. It’s v.fustrating to keep going back and forward on a list like this, esp when one’s interweb connection is a little shonky….
right-click on a PC, Command + click on a Mac
Bad Photoshop Rachel….your head is gray! Yikes! Or is that all the sugar from the goodies? :P
I don’t know if its just me but these posts are bit overwhelming. I’d prefer if you showcased a few recipes that some of you actually tried and had pointers or things to add.
It’s not just you,but I swear somewhere here on Autostraddle I’ve seen single recipes showcased before that the person writing the article had done and went through the process like a cookbook.
Personally I find these posts more like an idea booklet, skim (well as much as a dyslexic person can skim)through a bit and see what’s worth an extra look.
Wh-whaa…those vegan cookie dough bars. The everything.
Hey did y’all know you can make lemon curd in microwave?
Orange, and lime curd too.
Also citrus curds can last 2 weeks in the fridge and freeze well.
If you want the recipe, I will share. That and probably the best frozen dessert recipe that is not up on that list, strawberry mint ice box pie.