Learning to feed yourself can be one of the most terrifying things. Am I about to give myself food poisoning? If I eat this too often will I end up with scurvy? How can I get the most nutritional bang for my buck? Why does thisΒ stillΒ taste like ass?
WithΒ Ode to My Pantry, learn to navigate a grocery store without having a meltdown in aisle three. Give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach a queer to cook and stave off malnutrition for another semester.
It’s almost new years and all that jazz! Like most of you folks I’m more apt to break a resolution than make a resolution this year. Jogging? Saving money? Calling my mom on a regular basis? I’m going toΒ try, but, to be brutally honest, I’ll probably fail before I have a chance to turn my calendar page. But hey, while I can’t promise I’ll go to the gym, Β I can promise that I’llΒ go to my kitchen!Β While some people can confidently say, THIS IS THE YEAR I GO VEGETARIAN,Β THIS IS THE YEAR I EAT LOCAL or I’M GOING TO PLANT A GARDENΒ I’m going to try for 14 attainable goals for 2014.
- I will remember to buy more NutellaΒ before it’s too late and I’m only left with heady memories of chocolate-hazelnut goodness and knife streaks at the bottom of the jar.
- I will start labelling all of my leftovers, sauces and other Citizens of Chill Chest with their opened dates. Accidental soy cheese? Never again.
- One way or another, I’m going to discover what the fuck a cronut isΒ and maybe try a ramen burger while I’m at it.
- I promise to eat a banana this year to see if they’ve stopped tasting like plaque and regret.
- I will limit take out thalis to once aΒ
monthΒfortnightΒ week, no matter how cheap they are. Um, unless I’mΒ reallyΒ effing hungry. - IΒ willΒ buy a kilogram of discounted Cadbury Mini Eggs on Easter Monday! And I will not eat them within a week.
- I will clear my freezer of all of my vegetable and animals carcasses and make some fucking delicious stock.
- I will take the extra 10 seconds to grab my goddamn splatter screen when I’m sauteing to avoid 15 minutes of cleanup.
- I will turn some of my pumpkins into Edible Things instead of Decorative Mold Globes.
- I will figure out how to cook the broad beans, navy beans and kidney beans that have been glaring at me from my pantry for the past two years.
- I will unpack my waffle iron, use my waffle iron, write an Ode about my waffle iron or just donate the ol’ dust collector.
- I will grow a plot of tomatoes, bat my eyelashes and pilfer all of my retired neighbours’ secrets to their Gardens of Eden.
- I will get off my ass on a Saturday morning and start making my own bread again.
- I will floss. I know, notΒ exactlyΒ food-related, but I should probably do it so I can continue having food resolutions in 2054 that aren’t exclusively “Learn to puree better.”
I have a lot of food-related goals for this year too. A big one is going completely vegetarian (3 days strong so far!), and also I’m trying to cut out dairy. I also want to learn to like eating kale.
Learn to like eating kale? Becoming an astronaut might be a more attainable goal.
But seriously it’s actually not bad in soups so if you haven’t tried it that way maybe give it a go?
I’m not particularly fond of kale or quinoa, but oddly, when they’re cooked together, I enjoy the combination.
I have two favorite ways to eat kale:
1. SautΓ© it in a frying pan with a little oil (whatever you prefer to cook with) and red wine vinegar. Add garlic powder and salt. Boom, you have healthy deliciousness on your plate. SautΓ©ing the kale makes it much more palatable compared to the thick dark green leaves of raw kale.
2. In a bacon Caesar salad. Since you’re going vegetarian and dropping dairy, perhaps you could try a modified caesar with vegan dressing (I know that Annie’s makes a good vegan caesar-like dressing). The trick is to massage the kale with the dressing. I know that sounds weird, but it helps soften and break down those yucky raw leaves. Wash your hands, spend a good couple minutes massaging the dressing into the kale, and then eat. The difference is noticeable.
3. I don’t like kale chips (I’m not a huge chip person in general), but lots of people swear by them: http://www.insonnetskitchen.com/cripsy-baked-kale-chips/
Best wishes on your kale-eating journey :)
thank you, helpful people <3
Last year I wrote a post about kale and readers had a bunch of awesome recc’s. Italian Wedding Soup and salad with a hearty dressing are my favs. If the texture feels weird, you massage the leaves to make them less fibrous!
I am literally in the middle of a cook-from-dried bean cooking session to create a how to cook beans photoset for a friend of mine. He was super curious to know how to make them tasty and creamy and assumed I would know as I’m married to woman with Hispanic heritage. Spoiler alert, I had to teach her!
I NEED YOUR SKILLS
Just successfully procrastinated doing my distance homework by finishing the “bean cooking guide” I hope it helps you cross off #10.
http://ejmears.tumblr.com/post/71896767078/ive-had-more-than-one-person-ask-how-my-wife-and
No. 6. Lesdudis!
I relate so much to number 8. When I last went kitchenware shopping, I told myself that splatter screens are a non-essential luxury and that I was only allowed to purchase kitchen basics. Wrong. That thing is definitely a kitchen basic. I’ve splattered both myself and my kitchen with hot oil and fat one too many times this week. 2014: Buy a damn splatter screen.
I pledge that only 50% of my meals will be frozen next year and that i will no longer buy value mince aka mince pellets. That is all.
Love this! But Bananas are wrong, don’t do it, you can get potassium elsewhere, I have accidentally eaten them twice in the last 7 years and have pledged to never let it happen again. I too will dust off my waffle iron. I will…I must. Also use that splatter guard I had an unfortunate shallow fried thumb incident resulting in a week in burns bandages and a thumb that looked like a cocktail sausage…until the skin fell off…now it’s super heat sensitive. Hooray for kitchen resolutions :)
I’m so glad someone else uses the phrase ‘dust-collector’! It’s my nana’s favourite term for her numerous possessions. Her life is somewhere between Hoarders and Extreme Couponing.
ha! my girlfriend and i were looking at random kitschy stores in berkeley that sell things you usually give as gifts or like, put on mantels, and i was like, everything in this store is what my mother would call “a dust collector.” she wouldn’t buy or let us buy anything that didn’t have a function which was really sad because i wanted a precious moments doll