Olympic Women’s Soccer Open Thread: US vs. France

The opening ceremonies aren’t for two more days, but women’s soccer starts today! Have you looked at naked pictures of Abby Wambach recently? When was the last time you celebrated the fact that Megan Rapinoe is an out lesbian? Women’s soccer! I’m excited.

all in our places with bright shiny faces

The U.S. team begins their Olympic journey against France today 25 at 12 p.m. ET, and the game will be broadcast on NBC Sports, thank the baby Jesus. The U.S. women are in Group G along with France, Colombia and Korea DPR, which, to be honest, shouldn’t be too terribly challenging after today. After group play finishes on July 31, the team that wins the group will advance to the quarterfinals. The schedule is outlined here, BUT LET’S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES. Today, the teams are playing in Glasgow, 400 miles away from London and at the heart of all of my secret “Lip Service” fantasies.

The U.S. needs to do well in this tournament for a lot of reasons, primarily to redeem themselves for their bummer of a second-place finish at last year’s FIFA Women’s World Cup and to help establish a fanbase for a new, solid women’s professional league. This is a really important tournament, and we will all collectively cry and go back to watching “The Real L Word” if they lose. The team looks sharp, but it won’t be an easy road, especially not today. The LA Times reports:

One of those teams is France, which has won 17 consecutive matches since losing the third-place game at last summer’s World Cup. The French have outscored their opponents, 61-4, over that span and shut out their last seven foes, including a 2-0 win over World Cup champion Japan six days ago.

Yikes. Not to fear, dear readers; the U.S. is ranked number one in the world, and the team looks strong and prepared. Today’s starting lineup is Hope Solo, Amy LePeilbet, Christie Rampone, Rachel Buehler, Kelley O’Hara, Megan Rapinoe, Shannon Boxx, Lauren Cheney, Tobin Heath, and power-duo Alex Morgan and Abby Wambach up top. They’re ready.

In order to fully prepare yourself for the game, I strongly recommend watching / marathoning this video, which has so many gif-worthy moments that I can’t even narrow it down to my top ten favorites. I will say this: Learning that Amy LePeilbet can’t dance was a what-if-God-were-one-of-us moment for me.

All right, let’s get this party started and talk about the game! The Canadian women are also playing Japan at the same time, so maybe we can talk about that, too!

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Grace Ellis has been writing and making hack-job graphics for Autostraddle since 2011 and is a co-creator and co-writer of the comic book series Lumberjanes. She is mostly an intern in name only. (Mostly.) She lives in Columbus, Ohio because why anything. Also, she wants to write the Black Widow movie and feels like if she just keeps telling people, eventually she will be allowed to do it. She has a Twitter and a Tumblr, both of which are pretty above average.

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63 Comments

  1. Thumb up 3

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    Okay, so i don’t know if you US guys can see it yet but i’m watching from england and enjoying the shit out of it!
    like, i should be watching gb v nzl but i turned over because it was boring and i realised that rapinoe was on the other channel…

  2. Thumb up 4

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    I’m having so many feelings! I usually cheer for France in soccer, but I’m so in love with the US women’s team that I’m changing my loyalties. Tons of internal conflict.

  3. Thumb up 1

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    I’m watching GB vs NZ, but I was told that I cheered too enthusiastically when GB scored. The rest of this match hasn’t been too amazing, but it’s a change to see women’s football on TV so I’ll take it. Hopefully we’ll get better as the tournament progresses.

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    i’m going to get a heart attack before this tournament is over. i can feel it already. what a completely insane first 20 minutes.

    also whassup with that no call on the baby horse take down in the box? damnit ref issit too much to ask that you not be incompetent.

  5. Thumb up 2

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    NO ONE IN CANADA IS BROADCASTING US WOMEN’S SOCCER.
    Everyone wants to watch the Canadian game, or something.
    Which is still good, and Sophie Schmidt is essentially a Canadian Megan Rapinoe, but still
    I’m missing out on Wambach’s glorious head(ers).

  6. Thumb up 4

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    I am unfortunately not watching the game because I am (even currently) in class. But I am refreshing the shit out of the Results app on my phone and thus far very happy! I am trying to hide smiles when I refresh and see that another goal has been scored by the US.

    Related, I have noticed today a much bigger proportion of girls on their phones/laptops during class than usual. I SEE YOU CHECKING OUT WOMEN’S SOCCER SCORES TOO.

  7. Thumb up 2

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    I’ve just realised my dissertation red mist meant I never twigged that the fact men’s Olympic football is being played in Glasgow (boring) also meant that WOMEN’S OLYMPIC FOOTBALL IS BEING PLAYED IN GLASGOW. I am in the same city as Hope Solo and I didn’t even try to get tickets.

    Utter, utter lesbian fail. Oh lord.

  8. Thumb up 2

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    France has learned well the lesson Keep Face Clear of Wambach’s Feet. Brutal!

    Also, that Party in the USA video. Thanks Wambach/LeP, now I know what I look like when I dance. Enthusiastic arm flailing may not be pretty but it gets the job done.

  9. Thumb up 11

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    That video made me genuinely feel like I have a shot with US Women’s Soccer players. I don’t know if that is healthy set of emotions to be harboring. But it sure is distracting.

  10. Thumb up 3

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    OH MY GOD THAT VIDEO.

    I wish that the uk team were more like the US team so i could love them since that is my team and all. But, the us team have made themselves so accessable and loveable. I’m sure the uk team are as crush-worthy (and youknow, i’m more likely to get with them since they live nearer) but i just don’t know them! i need to get more into women’s football.

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      this x1000.
      There is nothing out there on the GB team [which is understandable seeing as they've only just entered existence] but there’s also hardly anything on England/ any of the women’s teams here, compared to the mass of videos/info you can get on the US team.
      I want to support GB [and women's football over here in general], but at the moment, I’m a total US fangirl.

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        Omg, SAME. I am so glad that GB never played USA because I would have been so conflicted!

        I think I wanted GB to win more, but I wanted to WATCH USA more. Like I sort of wanted Japan to equalise in the final just so it would go into extra time and the match would be longer. Also I felt a bit bad for Canada and the ref’s decision in the match before that so… while I supported USA it wasn’t 100% wanting them to score, score, score. Plus Rapinoe had gone off. :(

  11. Thumb up 1

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    I had class during this game so I recorded it and managed to stay off of the internet until I got to watch it. I was worried that someone would ruin it for me, but then I realized that most people in Alabama probably don’t watch the USWNT. Successful self-imposed media blackout! Great game,

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    On vacation and dragged my nieces and nephew away from the pool to watch this game. Crazy Auntie had her Wambach shirt on representing! (sort of…) By the end go the game, I had bought Morgan and Solo shirts for the new fans online! We were screaming like it was the finals. I need a Pinoe shirt next. We all love that video too.

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    It’s going to be an unproductive few weeks. I watched the both US/FR and GB/NZ matches today while cooking, using the excuse “I’m cooking right now, so I can’t be working, so I can watch these games…”

    I MADE SO MUCH FUCKING FOOD!

  14. Thumb up 1

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    I was at work during the game. :(

    But my favorite part was when my (French) girlfriend stopped texting me and I knew the US was back on top.

    My second favorite part was when I got home and was being nice and not saying anything (after weeks of arguing over who will win) and her Mom texts her to say “Elles sont trop fortes ces américaines!”

    Too bad if the US moves on the French can’t hang in for silver, if I understand the set up correctly.

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