WELL! Now that the parade is apparently over, Dana & Alice hunt down Jenny, who's standing at the HRC booth staring listlessly at pamphlets, blissfully unaware that one day she will plunge to her death in Tina & Bette's backyard.
Jenny says Howie will meet up with them later, and Dana & Alice theorize Howie's probs at a sports bar with the other straight dudes having a brewsky and talking about where to get good animal-printed underpants.
So clueless, Danish, all wrapped up in their love for one another! Jenny leaps buoyantly across the rolling hills of OMG SO CUTE with her beguiled expression of amusement that Dana & Alice haven't caught on that Howie also carries the gay gene.
Then! A freaky girl wearing a rainbow chain necklace strides over to invite these Sapphic Sisters to her Tower of Terror. She tells Jenny she loves to punish a tease, which inspires Dana to make Amazing Face:
This is the way is the way that we liveeee and loveeee
After that brief interlude for Death & Disease, we return to Danish debating a trip to the Chamber of Horrors, a.k.a., The Seven Stations of the Cross. I'm sure there's some liner notes somewhere that explain the point of this device or the obscure celesbian cameo it enabled?
Dana's not too big on anal penetration, but the buffet with chicken wings & tofu sounds good! They're so cute I want to eat them! Not the chicken wings, but the Dana & Alice Out & Proud thing.
"Anal Penetration?"
Dana & Alice walk in, see Jenny staring at the haybales muttering about her organs in Yiddish, and bust that pop stand with classic hilarity. Alice yells "Where's my chicken wing, bitch!" but it's off-screen unfortunately, but will be on the DVD Extras in my brain.
The Ascent of Cute Mountain ambles gamely on with Dana popping bubbles in the air at the Planet, wondering if she should've spent more quality time with Howie. Alice isn't worried about Howie (surprise!), he's got keys after all .. until she sees that Howie has removed his shirt (nipples!) and is dancing with a black person, which is not how they do it back in Wilmette.
Dana Pretty Party
JK, Alice isn't racist. She's homophobic and doesn't like seeing ol' How-How chowing away with another fudgepacker. Neither does Dana. Get out and stay out my ass.
Dana makes ten faces that change my life while yanking Howie off to the side to get the dirt. In the background, Alice is cute and her boa is covering most of her unpopular romper.
Dana: Okay. A cosmo, Howie?
Howie: Yeah!
Dana: That's alcoholic.
Alice: "That's gay."
Dana: What's going on?
Howie: I'm celebrating pride!
Dana: But Howie what do you have to be proud of?
[Howie pulls hunky man to his side, holds him there, says see Dana, this guy just shot a load at my tonsils in the backroom of Babylon on our way over, holler, Dana doesn't get it.]
Dana: Ahhh okay. Excuse us for just one second -- Howie, that man is gay.
Howie: I know, Dana.
Dana: Are you imitating me? Is that what this is? It's not funny, if that's what you're doing.
Howie: No, I'm not.
Dana: So you just -- you just decide that you're gay. You're too young, you're just -- it takes time!
Howie: Dane, I've known since I was four.
Dana: You made that much fun of me?
Howie: Well, Ilene didn't decide until just this episode that I was gonna be gay, soooo ... any ideas on how to explain that reaction from last season away, smarty-pants?
Dana: Oh COME ON, you'll take any excuse to rip on Ilene. That's how it always works with gay characters, hello Jack from Dawson's Creek. It could've been so much worse.
Howina: I'm pregnant.
Dana: You made that much fun of me?
Howie: It's 'cause you were scared. I mean be gay! Be proud everybody!
Dana gives Howie a special squeeze and they share a moment while Alice continues pursuing awesomeness somewhere in the background.
IS EVERYONE READY TO BE PROUD AND RODEO DISCO?
OUTRAGEOUS CELEBRATION ENSUES LIKE TYRA JUST ANNOUNCED WE'RE ALL GOING TO CANCUN!!
DANA & HOWIE HUG AND HAVE A BRO/BRA MOMENT!
OMG PRIDEEEEEE!!!!!!
Lovely job adding an extra comedic touch to the best parts of the L Word!
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