25 Pictures Of Lesbian Sex According To Stock Photography

by riese & laneia

Stock photography: that underrated art form in which professionals create rights-free images suitable for usage by a variety of magazine and online publications. We love us some Shutterstock, we really truly do, especially lately as they’ve been beefing up their lesbian section with photos that look like actual lesbians living actual lives. But the Shutterstock archives are still bursting with evidence of misguided photoshoots of times past. We’ve marveled at the oddness of lesbian stock photography before, and provided some homoerotic Christmas shoots, but that was back in the day when we only used Getty Images and now we have a whole new treasure trove to mine over at Shutterstock. Seriously though, who knew that the primary lesbian sex act was standing breast-to-breast, staring at the camera?

 

25 Pictures Of Lesbian Sexuality According To Stock Photography

1.

uggghhhh my arm is falling asleep

Uggghhhh my arm is falling asleep

2.

Is that a poisonous snake in your hand or are you just happy to see me

Is that a poisonous snake in your hand or are you just happy to see me

3.

Let me get my tweezers and we can take care of that little chin hair lickity split

Looks like your waxer missed a hair

4.

I think a bird just pooped on us

Babe seriously, female ejaculation is nothing to be ashamed of.

5.

shutterstock_74611936

Rosalie swore she was a size M in white thongs, so Bella felt PRET-TY SMUG about proving Rosalie was actually a size S!

6.

You bring me closer to Goddess

No, wait, the Ambien just kicked in. Sorry.

7.

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Blair and Shelly figured out how to make sure they’d never lose each other at the Dinah Shore Pool Party again

8.

Oh crap I forgot to turn the oven off

Johanna and Katniss stayed perfectly still so as to blend in with the rest of the presents under Ellen Page’s Christmas tree

9.

See, like they're doing in this episode of The L Word

See, Autostraddle says it’s totally okay to fuck with our clothes on!

What I read in Curve magazine that this is how lesbians have sex

I know it shouldn’t be, but the fact that your bedspread was stolen from Mrs. Abernathy’s Kindergarten class is SUCH a turn-on.

ooooooooo this is fun!!?!!

You’re right, this is so much better than having sex with boys!

10.

Serpent of old, ruler of the deep. Guardian of the bitter sea. Show us your glory. Show us your power! We pray of thee, we pray of thee. We invoke thee.

Serpent of old, ruler of the deep. Guardian of the bitter sea. Show us your glory. Show us your power! We pray of thee, we pray of thee. We invoke thee.

11.

Uhhh yeah, remember that conversation we had last week about my bloody vagina and the benefits of regularly trimming your fingernails?

Baby, remember that conversation we had last week about trimming your fingernails before fisting?

12.

Mmmmmm

I can’t believe the bank teller only gave us one lollipop. So rude.

13.

mmm next week let's wear our matching red panties

You know you really should consider going down a cup size, there’s lots of extra space in here

14.

TA-DA: SCISSORING!

SCISSORING MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

15.

Legitimately unclear why this photo has been tagged with "lesbian"

Legitimately unclear why this photo was among my “lesbian” search results

16.

Where's my motherfucking sandwich, ladies?

Where’s my sandwich?!

17.

You smell like my favorite flavor of Yankee Candle

It’s just that you smell like my favorite flavor of Yankee Candle

18.

All I need in this life she said is an exercise ball between me and my girlfriend, me and my girlfriend

All I need in this life of sin is an exercise ball between me and my girlfriend

19.

Okay fine you can borrow my shoes but you have to promise not to mess them up!

Okay fine you can borrow my shoes but you have to promise not to mess them up!

20.

WHO'S UP FOR PONY PLAY??!!!

WHO’S UP FOR PONY PLAY??!!!

21.

Uh huh that's right right there right on the tip of the chin ooo yeah that's it

Cassandra had been waiting all her life for a woman who would lick her chin, and now that it was really happening, she could barely remember to breathe

22.

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Is this sex? Are we sexing yet? Get the flowchart out again.

23.

Watching "Game of Thrones" in upward-facing dog lesbian sandwich pose is probably the best idea we've had since we bought these matching nude bodysuits from Frederick's

Watching “Game of Thrones” in upward-facing dog lesbian sandwich pose is probably the best idea we’ve had since we bought these matching nude bodysuits on the internet

24.

Uh babe you're smushing my nose

Uh babe you’re smushing my nose


Now it’s your turn, how would you caption this sucker?

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CAPTION THIS

 

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Riese is the 33-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York City, and now lives in The Bay Area. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Riese has written 1761 articles for us.

110 Comments

      • Thumb up 1

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        Hi there. I had never heard of “transmisogyny” so I decided to educate myself and look it up. Here’s what I got:

        I’m sorry if I caused any distress, but I was wondering if you could help me understand how my comment could be discriminatory? (just looking to improve myself)

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          Hi there. I had never heard of “transmisogyny” so I decided to educate myself and look it up. Here’s what I got: “Transmisogyny, then, is [...] the negative attitudes, expressed through cultural hate, individual and state violence, and discrimination directed toward trans* women and trans* people on the feminine end of the gender spectrum.” I’m sorry if I caused any distress, but I was wondering if you could help me understand how my comment could be discriminatory? (just looking to improve myself)

        • Thumb up 11

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          It can be really alienating and invalidating to suggest that lesbians don’t only interact with vulvas/don’t interact w sperm producing (which I’m assuming your comment was reffering too) genitalia ever because some have said genitalia and some have partners w said genitalia.

          there are for sure more extreme examples of transmisogyny than your comment but it still contributes to a culture that essentializes women’s identities and sexualities to genitalia and causes a lot of subsequent violence for transfeminine folks. Being a woman or a lesbian is a lot more than just genitals which I’m sure you know!! :)

          (full disclosure I’m not transfeminine but my partner is and am thusly sensitive to such issues)

          Thanks for your polite response. Best, Lex.

        • Thumb up 2

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          also kinda added some not fluff to this vapid fluff piece haha sorry ilu all this article is hilar!!

        • Thumb up 1

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          also whoops the first don’t in my comment is not supposed to be there my comment doesn’t make sense otherwise. <3

        • Thumb up 7

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          I might be mistaken, but I took it to mean that because they’re eating actual watermelon, they will obviously always spit out the seeds, so they don’t have to choose – as opposed to having to choose whether to spit or swallow semen. So not actually implying at all that lesbians never have to worry about that, but in fact the opposite (that they sometimes do).

        • Thumb up 14

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          Also, while the joke is arguably cissexist (assumes women with penises don’t exist), it’s not trans-misogynistic. Misogyny (and, by extension, trans-misogyny) is an expression of hate. Just as every act of sexism against women is not necessarily misogynistic, not every act of cissexism against trans women is necessarily trans-misogynistic.

          Failing to explicitly include us and expressing outright hatred towards trans women are not the same thing.

          **btw- I did find Chandra’s interpretation of the joke to be interesting, although I doubt that was the actual intention of the joke.

      • Thumb up 12

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        In the long run, I wonder if maybe it’s more productive for us to offer our own jokes that are explicitly trans women-inclusive with this kinda thing (so as to offer something positive rather than just be critiquing)… that having been said, I stared at that pic for a while and couldn’t come up with anything.

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          Hey ya’ll. Thanks for educating me. I love all people of different expressions and identities and hope that nothing that ever comes out of my mouth is ever taken as an expression of hatred towards the trans* community. I look forward to hearing all your jokes. After all– laughter is what keeps us all sane.

  1. Thumb up 8

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    “I just love it when my boo takes a nice juicy slice of my watermelon. It makes me feel that much closer to her, especially when our matching headscarves do not suffice xoxo”

    #19 and 20 killlled me. Killed. I can just imagine a group of ignorant people sitting around a table: “Lesbians generally wear matching shades of blue and cover their eyes with the hem of their skirts, right? Yes? Ok. Let’s do that then.”

  2. Thumb up 6

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    I actually like the *first* no 16, because it is a poignant vignette about an impotent man discovering that “his lady”, is actually not “his lady”, as she has “her own lady”, and he is transforming into The Incredible Hulk of the 1990s. Dang.

  3. Thumb up 12

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    just as a side note, saying that all women/lesbians are without seed (which, of course, is used as a euphemism for semen) is trans misogynist language/behavior. some women have vaginas, some do not. i know most of you know this, but it still matters even when we’re using euphemism.

    • Thumb up 0

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      (my bad im typing while half asleep bear with me) The comments aren’t transmisogynistic they might be cis inclusive but they aren’t minimizing or belittling the trans community. Dont get so get uptight and laugh a little we could all use it in our days

      • Thumb up 8

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        Remind me again how equating sex to gender is not trans phobic and clearly transmysogynist here? I’m not trying to “ruin” anyone’s fun, but I won’t stand for some people being pushed out of the fun because some kids think that cisinclusive is a better path than woman inclusive on a site for queer women.

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          I have to admit that considering the basis for this website some comments were thoughtless but they were not hateful or purposely targeting the trans community

        • Thumb up 3

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          I didn’t even get what the seed reference was about! Oh gosh yeah, that’s bad. Esteisy Isabel, please don’t minimise the criticism because the point about transmisogyny is incredibly valid and it’s not ‘uptight’ to critique something with very real consequences.

      • Thumb up 4

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        The comments aren’t “cis inclusive,” they’re exclusive. She’s not ruining anyone’s fun, unless you’re unable to have fun without making those jokes. And honestly, the fact that those jokes ARE trans misogynistic probably ruined plenty of people’s fun, and I for one am really glad someone said something. Autostraddle, I expect better from y’all.

  4. Thumb up 12

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    Ok, in response to the conversation up-thread, this is my attempt at a(n) (explicitly) trans woman-inclusive caption:

    “Honey, don’t just walk off with the watermelon… you know I want a taste of banana while we’re at it.”

  5. Thumb up 9

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    This explains a lot about lesbian sex as shown on various TV shows – clearly the writers Google-image ‘lesbian sex’ and get a load of pictures of mostly-/fully-clothed ladies who are lying next to each other in a static fashion. Mystery solved!

  6. Thumb up 7

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    Regarding the twincest, the obvious answer is that straight people see gayness as an exercise in homogeneity, since people wrongly believe every member of one gender are all the same. Thus, “same-sex” = “same people” = “implied twincest”.

    Plus some dude photographers are really into twincest and male-gaze lesbianism. These two facts are probably related.

  7. Thumb up 2

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    Ok I was googling both Yankee candles and bodysuits directly before reading this post. What does that mean? lol Also might I add that googling bodysuits was fun! yeah! and caption for the watermelon ladies “Hey hun yeah let’s make some good old fashioned candles out of these watermelons!”

  8. Thumb up 0

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    These pictures look like a sleepover gone wrong, in a “skins” way, with Emily & Katy instead of Emily & Naomi being their sexy selves with each other… with sexier nighties

    as for the caption, I’d say: I kind of understand the fact that you’re eating the watermelon naked to not mess your clothes,but why do I have to sit naked on this hot itching like a b**** sand keeping the watermelon for you while you don’t even care to share?

  9. Thumb up 1

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    I don’t understand why *all* of these random photoshoots feature the same woman. She is the most prolific unheard of soft porn actress I’ve ever seen. She looks a bit different in photo #7, though. Her blonde highlights change her face shape so much!

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