A new trailer has finally — FINALLY — dropped for Ocean’s 8 a.k.a. Ocean’s Gayt a.k.a. Good God If None Of The Women Are Gay In This Movie Then I Am Going To Take To The Streets.
In December of 2016, I posited that Cate Blanchett is most certainly playing a coat-loving lesbian heistmaster, and the film’s first trailer added fuel to that gay fire by making it look like Blanchett and Sandra Bullock’s characters are most definitely exes who are reconnecting through elaborate crimes. Plus, Blanchett crosses her legs in the trailer in a way that is just simply gay — no follow-up questions. Erin took it a step further, ranking of every character in the Ocean’s 8 trailer by top energy.
The new trailer includes some very important moments like Cate Blanchett and Sandra Bullock scheming in trenches that could give Atomic Blonde a run for its money, Cate Blanchett wearing a vest, Rihanna playing with a pool ball in an incredibly erotic way, Sarah Paulson wearing various Mommi sweaters, Cate Blanchett pretty much straddling Rihanna while wearing a blue velvet blazer?! Is this the stylish queer heist movie I have been waiting my whole life for? GOD I HOPE SO.
But perhaps even more important than the new trailer, which I’ve already watched eight times, are the new character spotlights that came out yesterday. This one stands out in particular:
— Oceans8Movie (@oceans8movie) April 11, 2018
Here we learn that Blanchett’s character is named Lou. Lou! This is perhaps the gayest news to come out of the movie so far. A straight woman going by Lou? Sounds fake.
See the new #Oceans8 trailer tomorrow. @oceans8movie @mindykaling @annehathaway @badgalriri @awkwafina also the perfect #sandrabullock #cateblanchett #helenabonhamcarter 🙌🏼🙌🏼 pic.twitter.com/TulPKNFx9b
— Sarah Paulson (@MsSarahPaulson) April 11, 2018
And then here, Sarah Paulson pronounces “gala” as “gayla.” Sounds like she is speaking in coded lesbianism to me tbh.
Ocean’s 8 comes out (if u know what I mean) on June 8, 2018, and I have never been more ready for anything in my life.