Sometimes living with other people, even loved ones, can prevent you from doing the things your heart really wants — like being completely naked in your living room or kitchen, for example. Living alone definitely has its perks because you can do whatever you want, at anytime of the day in your own damn home! What luxury! The Autostraddle team dishes on what they do when no one is home and no one is watching.
Rachel, Managing Editor
I’m not sure I do much differently when I’m alone! I’m a little embarrassed by that; it seems boring. Or I guess more accurately I probably don’t look like I’m doing anything differently — I feel like 90% of my waking life is spent sitting in front of my computer at my desk with headphones on (the other 10% is probably spent in front of the fridge, looking to see what we have to eat, giving up and closing it again). But I think even though I’m still just hunched over a computer with my terrible posture I’m using my time differently when I’m alone? I’m more myself and less self-conscious, even in small things. I can be more considered with things, I can open longform articles and often actually read them through, I can think through things more fully and use my time more organically because I’m not budgeting it for being interrupted. Also I talk to my cats a lot more than I do when someone is around — but like the kind of talking to your cats that’s actually talking to yourself, you know? “Momo, is this a feature post or not really? Who did I promise I would get back to before Tuesday?” Momo doesn’t know! Why am I asking her! Her brain is the size of a ping pong ball!
Alaina, Staff Writer
I live alone, so no one is ever watching me. I love it. I listen to the same song on repeat for hours and hours at a time at an unreasonably loud level. I have full on back-and-forth conversations with my cats, where I ask them open-ended questions, and pretend they’re answering me. Like, honestly, even though I’m the only human person living here, I don’t feel alone ever because someone is always on my lap, on my face, or screaming into my kitchen. We have fun. We talk about philosophy, music, religion, we hate on Dnald Trmp together, we have dance parties, we take selfies that no one will ever see. I’m almost never in pants. I sleep literally wherever I want. Sometimes I sleep on the floor in my living room just because I can. Sometimes I wake up at 4 am and power clean my whole house. I never close the door when I pee, or when I shower, or ever. My whole house is one open door (except the front door, that stays securely locked at all times)!! It always feels special to me. It’s like a retreat away from the entire world, which frankly, is terrifying. I always think that maybe I could do a single roommate, but it would take someone very, very, very special to get me to live with someone else again. It’s the greatest privilege in the world.
Kayla, Staff Writer
Even though I live with my girlfriend and two roommates, I am home alone often. I work from home, and they all work out in the world, so I’m usually the only one occupying our three-bedroom apartment. A lot of my time alone is spent on my computer working or in front of the television (which also fortunately counts as work). I do tend to do most of my Real Housewives watching when alone since no one else I live with is interested in that. But I also love to cook when home alone. Cooking is a major anxiety-reliever for me, and even though I like to eat with others, the actual process in the kitchen is something I prefer to do solo…and not just because of the size of New York kitchens. I consider myself a good cook, but I am an extremely messy and frenetic one, so I feel more comfortable knowing that no one’s watching me.
Yvonne, Senior Editor
I work from home and I live with my partner who is mostly at home now that she’s a student and freelance interpreter. When she’s away from the apartment, it’s my time to bask in utter silence because I’m that type of person. When Gloria is here, it’s always so loud — she has music blasting, she’s talking on the phone on speaker, she’s running around with our dog. She’s just a loud person and I love her for it! But I’m the opposite and I thrive off the quiet so it’s nice not having to wear my noise-cancelling headphones while I’m trying to write or read. I also like to watch Forensic Files or any true crime shows that Gloria doesn’t like to watch. And my all-time favorite secret indulgences when I’m alone is eating a #1 combo from Whataburger or eating the whole box of Trader Joe’s Mac ‘n Cheese.
Tiara, Staff Writer
So I’ve been living alone for most of the last 4 years (asides from 9 months with my parents in Malaysia while in between places). It’s not really my most ideal living situation, given my extroversion, but after a disastrous living situation in the Bay Area I wanted to spend some time on my own. (Though right now the reason I live alone in Melbourne is because this was the first option available to me and I’ve been too lazy to move since.) I spend a lot of time on my computer — writing, reading, watching YouTube, playing the occasional game, and more recently catching up on some TV or listening to podcasts. Sometimes I hoard library books (especially graphic novels) and try to read a whole bunch at once; right now I’m working through the entirety of Unwritten. I used to hate cooking for myself but I’ve come around to it now, though sometimes I do wish people would come over to visit! Occasionally there is the solo dance/karaoke party, powered by Spotify or whatever song I’m listening to 50 zillion versions of on YouTube at the moment. I hope my neighbours don’t hate me too much.
Laura M, Staff Writer
I rarely wear clothing when I’m home alone. All kitchen cabinets and drawers are left splayed open, as I can’t be bothered to close them. Dishes pile in the sink; vibrators pile by the bed. Oh, and I pee with the door open. It’s like a weird, sexy hurricane.
Erin, Staff Writer
When I’m alone I play music VERY LOUDLY. I get my wireless speaker out and I CRANK IT UP. For the most part I remember to put my Spotify on “Private Session,” but there was a day recently where I fear the entirety of my Facebook feed was treated to update after update of the same four songs being played over and over because I forgot to toggle out.
Laneia, Executive Editor
I’m nearly never alone! It happens maybe five days a year, and I fritter away the hours with the enthusiasm of a bachelorette party on the Vegas strip. THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE. I drink the wine that stains my teeth or I drink the expensive beer that comes out once a season or I make watermelon basil martinis, because no one else cares about those things. I make myself a fucking cheese plate to end all cheese plates and put on my cutest soft clothes. Then it’s time to watch all the shit that I don’t want to defend: The L Word, Bridget Jones, anything with Meg Ryan, every episode of Chef’s Table, etc. I mean, there’s so much shit I don’t want to defend.
But my very favorite thing is putting Spotify on private session and singing all my favorite songs at the top I MEAN THE TOP of my lungs. When I don’t have to repress this accent — and at this point it’s second nature to repress it, and it’s fine, whatever — I’m convinced I can belt out some COUNTRY HITS. The normal and sane side of me knows this isn’t true: my family can play instruments and rummy; we do not sing. But listen, in my heart, I could. In my heart, I sound like I fit into a place that never felt like mine, and I dance and laugh at no one and it feels like I’m me. THERE. That’s the most honest thing I’ve ever said to you!
Mey, Trans Editor
Well, I love horror movies, but for most of my life I’ve lived with family or roommates who hate horror. So when I’m alone, my favorite thing to do is to marathon horror movies. I’ll make some popcorn, get some like, Kool-aid or Limon Pepino Gatorade or red cream soda with lots of ice in it, and watch as many R-rated scary movies as I have time to. Like, I hate being alone, so I love the feeling that scary movies give me that maybe I’m not alone in my house. But also I hate it, but also I do really love it. Also I usually don’t wear a bra.
Stef, Vapid Fluff Editor
I have the loveliest roommate, which is something I refuse to take for granted as I’ve lived through a lot of nightmare living situations in the last couple of years. I live with a straight cis dude who’s also a vegetarian, cat-loving musician, and we get along great! Our rooms are on opposite sides of our apartment and I have my own entrance, which is ideal because I keep strange hours and even when I’m home, I often require a lot of alone time. During this time, I am having full conversations about life, love and philosophy with my cat and rarely wearing pants. I work in music so weirdly I don’t often listen to music at home, but sometimes I work on writing my own. If my roommate isn’t home and the neighbors across the hall seem like maybe they’re not either, I might even record vocal parts (and then never show anybodyyyyy). Like Mey, I will often watch horror movies by myself, or binge-watch bad TV, usually eating an unconscionable amount of vegan mac’n’cheese or nachos or something else I wouldn’t want my roommate or another living soul to be aware of the quantity I’ve consumed. Here I am telling you about it.
Molly P, Staff Writer
I live with my wife and three dogs, but when she leaves it only takes me maybe an hour to go completely feral. I will eat using one plate all weekend, the sink is my table, raw ramen is acceptable, I can smoke weed in the living room, and play music all the time. I forget to eat at normal times, and my circadian rhythm gets all wonky because I don’t go to bed until at least 2 a.m. But mostly, my secret alone behavior is examining my pores in the mirror and cleansing them. I could do it for hours. It’s bad.
Carrie, Staff Writer
I live with one roommate right now, but by the time this roundtable is published, it might be three; our landlords added a bedroom and bathroom to the house and two new tenants are arriving in early August. So alone time is about to get a lot harder to come by, BUT we’re also getting a dog, so I guess it evens out?
When I am able to snag some privacy, I play music very loudly on my wireless speaker and dance around my room/kitchen/living room/entire home. I spent years absorbing pop and Top 40 as part of my job (back when I worked in a cappella — yes, that’s a thing you can do) and that sucked all the joy right out of it. Now that I can listen for fun again, I take full advantage when no one’s around. I am an awful dancer but no one cares because it’s just me! My favorite move is the Dance-and-Clean.
KaeLyn, Staff Writer
Before we had a baby, I had a ton of alone time. Even though I live with my spouse, we’ve worked opposite work schedules for the past decade. Waffle used to get alone time during the day and I’d get it in the evening after work. We never ate together. We rarely awoke at the same time. We watched different TV shows. It worked for us. Pre-baby, my alone time involved a lot of binge-watching TV, lounging on the couch partially or fully nude, and eating an incredible amount of takeout Chinese food. There have been some major changes since I got a baby dino. Now, with the baby, my alone time only happens under two simultaneous conditions: 1) Waffle is at work and 2) the baby is napping. I fucking cherish my alone time now, which comes in 15 minutes – 1 hour increments. I tend to use alone time to catch up on work or TV or chores. However, I’ve been writing in my passion planner that I want to use that alone time for writing for pleasure or naps or sitting in the sun with a cup of tea or other restorative activities. I’m working on it. One thing has remained the same: I never wear a bra or underwear when I’m home alone.
Faith, Staff Writer
First things first: pants off. Masturbate to porn with the sound on. I like to clean things and binge things (Netflix) and vape things (not nicotine) and write aloud and solo karaoke while replacing the lyrics to pop songs with my cats’ names. I also use my hands to eat things that should definitely be eaten with a spoon or fork. Oooh, and naps. Naps are the fucking best.
Alexis, Staff Writer
My family is mostly all about space, so being by myself isn’t too hard. But when absolutely no one is in the house I usually do five things:
– take a shower with like all the doors open
– walk around in my underwear
– have multiple conversations out loud
– curse very loudly and laugh afterwards
– watch every lesbian show/listen to every gay song I can think of in the living room with the volume up and my anxiety sleeping.
Reneice, Staff Writer
I’ve lived alone for the past five years and my live like no one is watching flow involves a lot of being naked while cooking, eating, reading, stretching on my yoga ball, just living in general. I constantly make up songs about whatever task I’m presently doing. I let dishes pile up. I masturbate. I have dance parties. I clean to a trap music playlist and twerk while I scrub the stove. It’s a party in here basically.
Raquel, Staff Writer
Most of my time alone is spent lounging in strange positions on various pieces of furniture, reading. Or pretending to read and scrolling the internet.
Recently, though, I have been really into baths. Specifically very long ones, where I lay in the tub for actual hours scrolling the internet and/or reading and prune myself into an internet monster.
There’s a whole process for this. First, I waste upwards of five matches attempting to light my beautiful Pomme Frites Candle Co. soy candle. It is worth it, because it smells like warmth and autumn and the cleanest woods you’ve ever been in. Then I turn the faucet as hot as I possibly can, dip in a foot, and freak out about how hot it is and turn the cold faucet. Inevitably the water gets lukewarm and I dip in and shiver awhile until the hot water part does its thing. Okay. Then, it’s lounge time. I go in deep on some twitter threads or my kindle book and try not to think about dropping my phone in the water.
The key element here is time. One time a few months ago, I took advantage of the quiet lull before my housewarming party to take a bath and ended up having to run up and out of the bathtub 15 minutes after everyone was supposed to be there because I had really gone in deep on reading Patricia Lockwood’s Priestdaddy.
(Side note. Read Priestdaddy!!)
But usually, the getting-out-of-the-bath ritual is just as important as the one going in. The water’s gotten tepid, and I have to make the decision of whether I rewarm it with another blast of the hot faucet, or get out. I wring my wet hair so it doesn’t immediately freeze and poke my neck (does this happen to anyone else??) and blow out the candle. I use the smell of snuffed-out smoke as incentive to quickly wrap myself in a warm towel and shuffle into my room.
I towel off, then dive into my bed naked for another 30 minutes, probably, air-drying. It’s a sacred time.
I feel all of this so hard.
I love how many of you eat some iteration of mac n cheese when alone
I live alone now (on the days of the week when I don’t have the kids), and this article made me stressed at the idea that one I might not. Similar to Riese, but not in a good way, I never feel alone if someone was coming home eventually. And being married with kids you’re almost never alone as it is. On the rare occasions when it happened, I’d be too anxiously aware about the time ticking away to truly enjoy it. Now I might spend my weekends with someone, but there is no joy greater than finishing a long day at work and knowing that when I get home no one else is going to be there.
This series is everything. Especially this roundtable, and I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one listening to the same songs approx. 400 times on repeat.
And Laneia – “In my heart, I sound like I fit into a place that never felt like mine, and I dance and laugh at no one and it feels like I’m me.” Something draws me in, and I was not prepared for these emotions on a Monday morning! <3
This is *extremely* relevant to my life right now! I’m coming off of a two week stint of being home alone, due to my wife going out of town on an extended road trip. Like many of you, I have not worn pants or a bra most of this time! ?
I live by myself so I’m always alone. That’s plenty of time for dancing with my dog.
Also I’ve been doing the dance-and-clean listening to Erin’s 2:30 feelings playlist. It’s really good
I lived with my ex for 8 years, followed by living with my parents for a year and a half and I never want to share my space with anyone ever again! LOL! I’ve been living by myself for almost 2 years now and it is bliss. I can watch what I want, go to bed and get up when I want (well, not on work days, but still…) and eat what I want. I don’t have to think about another person’s needs or pay for two movie tickets or meals. That may sound selfish, but it’s hard work. Like Alaina, I never close a door. I also have many conversations with my cat! She provides great moral support when she’s not napping. All in all, living alone is THE BEST.
I second everything in this post
I was going to comment with, “Tag yourself I’m ________” but somehow I am most of you so that kinda doesn’t work. Big ups to vegan mac, horror movie marathons, and do-it-yourself karaoke in particular, though.
I’ve been living (mostly) alone for 3 weeks while my parents are on holiday and lemme tell you, Molly, that I have been using the same bowl and spoon the whole time. I’ve hand washed it a few times, but it’s the same bowl. Also pants are not a thing and neither are bras, the kitchen gets cleaned when I want, the windowsills are filling up with glass jars that I plan to make coconut yogurt in, and reusable bags are always used for grocery shopping even if that means putting not mushrooms in those paper mushroom bags.
I still live at home and my mum hates the bathroom being used after 10pm apart from for getting ready for bed/using the toilet. When she’s out I have baths up to 11pm. (Is that a weird thing to get excited about?)
It used to be watch TV downstairs but there’s little I like anymore. It’s either new and I can’t get into it or an old favourite and when I watch it, I notice how problematic it is compared to the websites I use. Does anyone know of any programs you can watch in UK that are sitcoms and not super problematic? Just like something you can get into on one viewing. I like stuff like Friends and Big Bang Theory where it’s a group of friends hanging out.
When I last lived with my parents there were still kids who had to be not woken up, and my dad working nights and just sharing a house with six other people is all about noise control! Headphones were my best friend.
But my bedroom was in an extension downstairs near a bathroom with a shower and woah did I feel rebellious having a 2am shower. Take this world! I’ll shower whenever I feel like it! AND it will be like 45 minutes long!
Yeah I’m getting so excited cos when my parents move if I can’t afford to just move into my house, I might get the bath put in my bedroom (which will be like an upper floor).
But my mum does this annoying thing where she leaves her clothes over the bathroom floor after she’s had a bath. So it will be good and bad if it even does happen that way, I think they want the attic now.
My current neighbourhood is full of nosey people and one guy isn’t very nice to our pets (to put it lightly) so we’re probably moving quicker than I thought and I won’t be able to afford to stay in my place, which is rented out for holidays at the moment. I hate moving for people like that.
I don’t think I could have a bath after midnight though. Need my sleep too much. It just gives me an extra hour when I’m on my own. Admire your stamina staying up that late!
I live alone and work from home, so I don’t really do anything special when I’m home alone, because it’s… all the time… I feel like an uptight bore because I’m usually fully clothed, avoid listening to music too loud, and try keeping the space tidy like I would living with other people. But this post made me want to more consciously enjoy the freedom of being home alone! Maybe I’m just not used to all the possibilities of being by myself all the time, because I haven’t been living by myself that long! Thank you for inspiring me to do things to feel less boring!
And “I always think that maybe I could do a single roommate, but it would take someone very, very, very special to get me to live with someone else again.” is EXACTLY how I feel!
I also live alone and also relate heavily to what Alaina said about never closing a door. Like…hypothetically, I appreciate that I could close my bedroom doors and keep people from wandering from the kitchen into my room (my apartment layout is kind of weird but I love it), but in actuality it just makes it easier to bring ice cream into my bedroom or decide to make nachos at midnight. Not all my windows have curtains yet, but once they do I’m looking forward to never wearing pants inside. I definitely miss having housemates sometimes, especially bc I recently moved to a new city where I know very few people, and I miss knowing my friends were just down the hall, but also…I don’t have to care about what anyone else thinks about ANYTHING I do, and if there’s a mess I know it’s my mess and a) won’t be bothering anyone else and b) will be my responsibility to clean up and that is an amazing feeling.
I’m one of those extroverted introverts so I’m fun when around people, capable of entertaining crowds, but as soon as I get home, I close the door behind me and sigh with utter relief.
This poem/video taught me the joys of being alone <3
Blast. That was my first attempt at embedding a video :( ANYWAYS, here it is.
“How to be Alone” by Tanya Davis.
I love this round table column so much!
I’ve been living by myself for about 4 years now, and I have a hard time thinking of going back to living with people. I need my alone time (all of the time)! It’s the only time I get to let my little introvert self be fully relaxed :) Also, I support all the loud music and solo dance party! Grey’s Anatomy has taught me that’s the way to handle all lives stress!
I’m very rarely home alone for any extended time whatsoever, but when I am it’s for two weeks because my partner is playing a concert abroad. I play MY music while working, eat salads and stir fry every day, go to bed really late and let the dogs sleep in the bed… but because it’s such a rare event I also go NUTS with responsibility, like, I do the dishes after every cup of tea I brew, never leave laundry unattended, and I do three “this week’s big chore” every day, until I collapse and need a full day or two to recover. Just to prove that I’m a capable and independent adult even when no one’s watching.
But who am I kidding – someone is watching – I keep sending my partner photo/video updates like “Look, I mowed the lawn! I trimmed the hedge! I made elderflower schnapps! And you haven’t even boarded your plane yet!”
Sometimes when my sister has extra days off or she’s sick I wish she would go back to work so I can clean obsessively. I am literally sitting here thinking about all the stuff I want to clean tomorrow when she’s back at work.
I listen to music most of the time anyway, but when I’m home alone it gets cranked up. There may be some repeated songs. Mostly I watch all the gay stuff I can. My sister watches all her British stuff when I’m not home. It works. Other than that, not much is different. I talk to myself all the time regardless of if there is anyone else in the room.
Real talk from Faith there: “First things first: pants off”.
I live with my wife, our boundlessly energetic toddler and two cats. Alone time is rare, brief and often interrupted, so I feel this statement – no time for beating about the bush (pardon the pun).
If I’m miraculously still alone after that; a long shower, air drying, naked YouTube and napping are gifts from god …
Laneia, wow the feels! What a great way to start my morning ^__^
I don’t do roommates well, because it never feels like I can be fully me. There was one time in Japan I really enjoyed the living with others thing, but that was in this international co-op house. We shared one large kitchen/party room downstairs, but then had our private areas on the upper floor, so we could be social on our own terms. Skyrise sunrises with coffee are also much more enjoyable with others.
Living alone is magical, but can also be really dangerous for me. For years I did the whole Alaskan dry cabin thing. 30 miles up a dirt road with my cabbage garden. No running water. No electricity. Just me, the animals, and playing my cello under those icy stars. On a good night, the lights would play in the sky with me. I had my books, who have always been my friends, so I was never lonely. I liked to skinny dip in the river and take long naps in the sun. But, when you are that isolated, your heart can sometimes reveal too much, too quickly. I’d get near suicidal at times, and looking back on it, it’s a miracle I survived at all. During my student exchange in Japan, there was a whole 9 months where I’d arrive at my door, and be shaking, too afraid to be alone with myself in my own house. So, I continued paying dorm rent, while sleeping on the street, on trains, in karaoke bars, and wherever else I could. To this day, I can’t even say why.
I have my good times and bad. When feeling at peace with myself, I like to spend alone time dancing in my underwear, and re-watching all my favorite movies at earth-shattering volumes on my surround sound speakers. I like to sleep outside naked in the grass, wear cute things I’m not ready for anyone else to see, singing in the shower, and reciting poetry while staring up at the clouds.
These days, I don’t do alone well. I still don’t feel mentally healthy enough. The transition, recent suicide attempt, and just curling up at night and needing someone to hold me. Healing takes time. I’m hoping one day I can feel safe enough to live alone again, but now I surround myself with others, because I sometimes can’t recognize unhealthy thinking patterns.
Despite living alone I feel like I am never home alone and it bothers me. I’m an introvert with a girlfriend and a social life so my weekends are busy I have about 2 – 3 whole evenings to myself in which I have to attempt to do jobs and housework that needs doing, but I wish I had more solo downtime.
When I do I do craft activities, go online or very occasionally watch Netflix.
I’m living alone now after years of mostly bad awful roommate situations, although my last roommate was actually THE BEST and I do miss her a bit. I’m so glad to be alone though, I get particular about where everything in the kitchen should be and love the fact that no one will misplace anything or decide for themselves where my cutting board should be. So far the only difference between living with my good roommate and being alone now is I leave dishes a little longer and play my music a little louder. But when I had terrible roommates there was so much I would do when I had time alone cause I couldn’t actually be myself or enjoy my time at home when they were around.
Wow, this was amazing! I usually operate the same when my roommates are at work/away, except with louder music.
It did make me realize I need to have more philosophical conversations with my roommates’ cats, though. “Who’s a gorgeous cat-seal?” Isn’t quite going to cut it anymore.
You guys, I did not know Spotify had a private mode! My days off are going to be EPIC from now on.
I didnt realize there was a not private mode!!! Honestly terrifying! I dont have facebook (probably why i didnt know this) but i cant imagine everyone knowing exactly how often i listen to the monster mash on repeat, or such.
I live with four other people and go to class and work for long hours, so alone time is sacred to me. This weekend most of my roommates were busy with work or homework and on Friday I got to drive to the grocery store alone to get a giant bag of salt and vinegar chips and milano cookies that were just mine. I spent the rest of the weekend hanging out in my room or the kitchen alone, cooking, listening to the same song on repeat and watching trash cartoons none of my friends watch, eating my junk food in glorious solitude.
Now I have a bunch of zits from eating an entire bag of chips in two days, though, so there’s that :( And my sleep schedule is AWFUL without anyone to force me to go to bed on time
I’m very envious of all these philosophical conversations with cats. I can’t get a cat because my roommate has a dog who’s (probably traumatized and) rather aggressive to other creatures, so the concept of being able to just have a cat who runs around your house and gets in your way and listens to you ramble to yourself sounds amazing and just out of reach
I’m going to bed tonight with the knowledge there are a lot of singing and dancing naked lesbians out there. I am expecting to have quite the salacious dream journal tomorrow.
I’d love to walk around my apartment in little-to-no clothing, especially in the summer. Alas, I have big windows that face towards a busy street, and friendly neighbours who are inclined to drop by without notice.
This is so timely! I finally have the house to myself for 2 weeks, for the first time since I moved back in with my family 8 months ago. (My mum and sister are on holiday and I can’t get the time off work right now)
I really miss having a house to myself! I’ve never actually lived alone (though I’d like to), but when I was in uni my flatmates often ended up all being away and I relished those times SO MUCH. Even though I didn’t do anything different apart from walk to and from the shower in my towel instead of fully clothed, and listen to music in the living room without headphones. And sing along, of course.
I also catsat twice for a friend who has a HUGE 4-storey house, and knowing no-one would be around definitely increased my level of disrobedness. And actually did wonders for my sex drive? I had my first orgasm(s) in that house. I took my first bunch of nudes in that house. That’s all completely over now that I’m never alone at home, in a house where the only door anyone closes is the bathroom door.
I think my ideal life setup would to be to live alone and have a fairly regular routine/social life so I’m not completely isolated or structureless.
this all is so lovely and also lowkey making me jealous. I am 21 years old and a jobless disabled student wanting to move out from their (awesome) parents’ house, which is hard as a disabled jobless person. I have to find people willing to live with me, and people to assist me, my day needs to be structured around other people’s days. I will probably never be able to live completely alone. This is especially diffiuclt love-life wise. I have rarely taken anybody home with me that I wanted to sleep with. Still, I am alone most of the day when I’m not at uni. I spend that time reading, writing, surfing on the Internet and masturbating, though I’m kind of always paranoid that my parents might come home early.
Why all the Spotify private sessions tho? Live your truth!!!
When I am home alone-aka when my roomie is gone-I wear no pants and just chill-video games, reading, napping. If it is a cleaning day, I usually crank up Spotify/Hamilton and sing to my cats while I clean.
(but since I can’t live my house alone, my alonetime can get really isolating). I can never be outside alone, which is kinda sad, bc sometimes I just want to leave the house spontaneously and sit alone in a café and I can’t bc of my disability)
When I am alone I feel like I’m in off-mode. Which is necessary for me to relax, but if I spend too much time in off-mode then I find it hard to get out again. So I live most comfortably with multiple housemates to chat to and click me into on-mode. The last year however I’ve lived with one housemate who often works away, and I’ve learnt to enjoy shower music at like 6am and never wearing clothes. But I hate coming home to an empty house. I just need people to chatter nonsense to and to make me exist.