Hello and welcome to the 367th edition of “autostraddle is broken,” starring whiskey kitten and my soul and your achey breaky heart. I am writing this post on a mobile app because I can’t get into the WordPress dashboard, so forgive the choppy talk and lack of kitten photos. The site should be working on your end, we can all read and comment, but we can’t get in to write or publish more posts today and I can’t upload photos. We have decided instead of freaking out about this all day, we will let go, admit defeat re:this day, and instead focus on tomorrow and all subsequent tomorrows!
You may wonder why we are so often broken or running so slow. From what I understand, the answer is that this website was built when we had about 6,000 views a day and now we get 75,000 views a day and have expanded the breadth of the site to include much more than just a bunch of posts – the social networking element is a big drain, for example.
We are running approximately one billion plug-ins. (30, actually.) Imagine a cardboard house with a lot more cardboard taped to itself. That is this website. We just kept adding plugins and making galleries and adding features and so forth. At this point there’s not much our host can do (we pay $900 a month for hosting), it’s on us to rebuild the theme and more effectively code the things, I think? We’re handling a load of features and traffic that usually is only handled by actual companies with salaried employees and full-time paid tech support OR by unfunded but mega popular blogs with very simple coding (eg hyperbole and a half).
Our next step will most likely involve a kickstarter campaign to help raise funds to get the support we need to rebuild the theme and implement a redesign and make social networking work once and for all. Well, first I’m gonna cry softly in the shower while clutching tinkerbell to my chest (wrapped in a plastic bag to avoid water damage), then we’ll get in to the rest of it.
You should peruse the archives and watch “words with girls”! It’s funny and has cute girls in it.
You guys have always been the most patient, generous readers in the world, and we thank you for bearing with us and hopefully helping us get through this to the other side where you can all read posts underwater and chat with your mom. Right? Okay. I hope this is okay.
i don’t think stuffed animals can get water damage from tears, it’s part of their ~~~magic
Punched me right in the feels with that comment. So true.
I lo that this is the only comment, but I completley agree. :3
I want all of you to consider yourselves hugged.
Is there any level you won’t stoop to in order to cop a feel?
if your website is broken because too many people like it then i think this is more good than bad.
Hugs! All kinds of hugs & kind thoughts. Autostraddle is amazing and does so many amazing things with so very few resources, so four for you all!
No worries Riese! I’m sorry you guys have to deal with this. You just let us know about the kickstarter campaign and Imma reach for my wallet :)
I just got home from the UK and I am very jet lagged. I suspect the website is also jet lagged. It’s hard to live like we do.
you’re back! hoorahh!! =)
I have my final essay for the semester due in approximately 12 hours. I’m going to look at this as one less procrastination opportunity and celebrate my freedom on the other side by donating funds relative to the size of my love for AS to your kickstarter.
I love you all and this is gonna be okay. You’ll figure it out. You always do.
this is so sweet, thank you
The part I miss most is the pictures of whiskey kitten that should be attached to this post. Their absence signals the severity of this issue.
I hope the world gets better by tomorrow.
When I first saw that the site was broken, I was momentarily excited because I thought there would be a post composed entirely of kitten graphics. Autostraddle, if I give you money, will you give me kitten graphics?
*Resolves to put all pennies aside for the kickstarter campaign*
But yes, pimpin’ ain’t easy, as they say :P
Plus, dunno about the rest of y’all but I like to spend disproportionate chunks of my day procrastinating on the Autostraddle archives…and now I feel no “I should be studying/working/exercising instead” guilt by doing so, because Riese totes just ordered it. And Riese is God, right?
Keep on truckin’ guys! Hope you can sort it out!
riese is pretty holy, it’s true.
You guys are troopers!
I’ll donate the hell out of a kickstarter campaign.
Glancing at the title, I totally thought this was gonna be some super emotional long form essay with all the feelings and such.
you know us too well
I’m actually doing research at my uni on how to make website creation/design easy and cheap for nonprogrammers. I wish us both luck
You guys! It’s too bad you are just so awesome and popular and have such a huge following :) I am ready to throw my money at you whenever your fundraiser is ready for it. Thanks for working so hard for us!
no thank YOU
I would sing Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’ to Autostraddle, but I can’t sing worth shit so I’ll just think it.
Sending love and positive vibes your way! Please don’t stress too much Reise, hope you and Marni have fun celebrating her birthday tonight! I think I speak for all of us when I say we’ll still be here and just as loyal come tomorrow.
Also, I'm making a collection jar for my small change just for that kickstarter campaign, even though I wish I could give soo much more since you all are so amazing!
Sends love, hugs and the glitter still in my hair from pride to the team. Everything will be okay.
You know what would maybe be an idea for raising moar moniez? Sell merch with Whiskey Kittens on it. Seriously, I’d buy that shit. (But I buy and throw moniez at you guyz for everything, so I may not be impartial. Mebbe.)
no, this is legit. i would buy at least two items of whiskey kitten merch.
+ kitten-shaped whiskey stones.
You guys are using WP Super Cache, right?
The browser inspector says there is an unexpected token in dropdowns.js.
And… jquery.js is not found.
Personally, I think it’d be best to separate the social features from the main WordPress installation. Since WordPress wasn’t really designed to fulfill that role, whatever plugins you add are going to tax the database more than it was designed to handle, and the groups thing isn’t really ‘social’ in the way people have come to expect. Maybe have a plain old forum on a subdomain and give it a separate database instead.
Every time I look at you I feel so completely dismantled.
Best comment evvvver.
All the comment awards!
I’m trying to laugh quietly cause it’s late and I laughed so hard I squeaked.
I have some web experience (do it all day at work, learning each day) and I’m willing to work for free. So if you need help, I am here!
thank you! <3
hm, maybe this helps
found my credit card, ready to throw money at you
I love you guys and hope you get better soon! I want to give you my money too okay?<3
Just take some deep breaths and make the best out of today. There is so much love and support here for this site, this vision, I refuse to believe it won’t triumph over all of the hang ups. In the meantime, I’ll look up all the whiskey kittens and think happy thoughts. Also, kickstart away!
Whiskey kitten stickers.
I’ll buy anything in sticker form. :P
“We are all special snowflakes” stickers!
I just want you to know that I will 100% donate to a kickstarter campaign. Like everyone, I’m flat ass broke but I bet if alot of us broke-asses can afford to donate at least $5.
I feel the same way. Get well soon, autostraddle!
I will donate to your kickstarter. so will lots of other people. don’t cry for too long because <3
It’s okay, Autostraddle, it’s okay! Just you wait until you have a Kickstarter. We’ll donate the shit out of it.
‘Cause we love you. http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m58d0a3CVH1r6x3joo1_400.gif
co-signed. “donate the shit out of it.” yes yes yes.
I wish I could clone myself to help you out… ugh, I’m working 10 hour days.
Please tell me you’re on dedicated servers for that price!
yes! we have dedicated servers. :-)
Riese, it’s like you’ve given birth to your own baby girl, except she’s like a big giant girl who smokes and says “shit” a lot. You know?
Now the giant girl has fallen ill, but you don’t need to worry. We can all help heal her.
i feel I’ve made an error in gendering autostraddle
i wouldn’t want that done to me
but sexing autostraddle is never wrong
i’m going to stop now
commenting is scary
this thread is really amazing
Sending hugs and love and happy vibes your way. You are all amazing.
My credit card is at the ready.
I guess I’ll have to save that money I was gonna throw at a stripper and instead virtually throw it at y’all instead!
I want to do the same but then how will all the strippers in my city pay there rent?
The title of this post makes me want to quote Stitch… ahem…
“This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”
ok now i’m crying thanks a lot
ilu for that.
You matter. What you are doing matter. You. Are. Not. Alone. Thank you for creating. thank you for giving a voice to people who need to hear their own voice. thank you thank you thank you. We are holding you up.. don’t worry
I’m imagining a big band-aid across the website…
I will happily donate if it will keep you all going. Love. This. Site!
sending love & good vibes & money, soon.
autostraddle is forever. today is just today. <3
“Imagine a cardboard house with a lot more cardboard taped to itself. That is this website.”
Yes, that’s exactly what I did, then I pictured the whole Autostraddle team in a room with furniture like this:
I like how Autostraddle still keeps a sense of humor when shit hits the fan, as that is my usual default mode as well. It’s like, “Oh fuck, I’m going down the highway, a rock just put a crack in my windshield, I now have a flat tire and I’m in Getmethehelloutofhereville, with a can of mace and 10% battery life on my cell phone, grrrrrrrrrreat! Maybe aliens will abduct me next and if I’m lucky, I’ll live to tell about it!
Sidenote: As I was writing this very response, my computer did some weird shit and logged it self out somehow (apparently the alien abduction is already taking place with my computer). *cue X-Files theme http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAAlDoAtV7Y)
Anyways, on that note…
I got a job, so now my credit card is ready….
We love all of you autostraddle! Even the parts of you that are broken and don’t work right, that’s what an Internet family is for :)
I don’t mind sharing my blessings to a worthy cause. Feel better (website, and yes, Riese) and keep on rocking our world (to the staff of AS). <3
heal thyself!! I keep coming back to repetitively check for new posts like I do 10+ times a day because I forget that it’s broken. sad face.
Snuggles to Autostraddle and your tech team! Bring on Kickstarter. Will be happy to support you (and the whiskey kitten).
Knowing I can donate to the kickstarter has given me purpose at work. Much love and fuckery.
In an homage to the missing whiskey kitten pic, I’ve gotten my cat drunk. Mostly, I just didn’t want to drink alone.
Comment of the day.
Whisky kitten is my facebook cover photo. Whisky kitten is how I feel for the next 23 days. I get broken. You get my hard earned cash for your kickstarter.
AUTOSTRADDLE 4 LYFE
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
Actually, KEEP TALKING AND TAKE MY MONEY!
No no no, Team Autostraddle! :(
I have been in your exact. same. shoes. with a website that blew up from being a little niche blog/forums/other junk to a mainstream-for-its-crowd place (we have similar traffic numbers on Alexa as far as I can tell.) There are definitely things that have to be done to realign your site for larger traffic–everything from page compression to backend server junk–but this is not what concerns me.
Paying $900/mo. does. You can do better. I push 2-2.5TB with control over ALL THE THINGS for…$100/mo. 100Mbit line. Bandwidth’s more or less unmetered on a Tier 1 provider mix. I know great places (and the people who work there!) across the country, from the datacenter in the Midwest to the datacenter which uses 25 percent of all electricity in San Francisco (!!!)
Contact me–I totally want to help you guys out.
we love you guys so much! thank you for all your love and promises of future kick-starting!
You AS folks know we love you, right? If the site’s even up, we’re grateful. If we know you’re trying to fix things, we’re grateful. Hell, we’re just happy you exist.
As long as you’re here sometimes for us to come home to, we’ve got one extra reason to smile. You help people from all over not feel quite so alone.
Hope you had a decent day. We’ll be here for you when you need us.
y’all are all my favorite people! i hope you know that. also we are thinking up some of the most awesome kickstarter perks. YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THIS JELLY.
“YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THIS JELLY”
CUZ MY BODY’S TOO BOOTYLICIOUS FOR YA!
Aw don’t feel bad. Are we not all somewhat broken? In one way or another? I ask you.
Is the “your comment is awaiting moderation” part of the brokenness too? I’m getting that all of sudden. *holds patience by the hand and frolics in the hills somewhere yonder singing, “The Hills are Alive with Music.”*
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