Papi’s first rule of poker is “Let Angela Robinson write and direct everything!” This week we get 11 minutes of lesbian phone tree perfection, a Stacey Merkin/Debbie McJenny showdown, some questionable rules of poker and the much-anticipated “Roll the Dice” premiere, during which everybody looked very Shane today. Will luck be a lady tonight? Will Paige make her grandmother’s meatloaf? Have you ever gone to the hospital for a cut on your face? Did Megan deserve the promotion? These questions and more will be addressed in one of our favorite eps! Are Also, Carly had a lot of coffee!
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- Our 2007 lesbian phone tree video
![Tina looks angry and is standing in Bette's office. She says, "So she can go to preschool with Diane Keaton's kids?"](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Screenshot-2020-05-03-17.20.05-scaled.jpg?resize=1220%2C763)
Who by the way are SO overrated
![Bette sits at her office desk and yells angrily, "No, it is not just crayons!"](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Screenshot-2020-05-03-17.20.33-scaled.jpg?resize=1220%2C763)
IT IS ALSO COLORED PENCILS!
![Alice (wearing a purple patterned top) reaches out in front of her. She says urgently, "Get your pants off the chips!"](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Screenshot-2020-05-03-17.21.14-scaled.jpg?resize=1220%2C763)
That’s where my pants go
![Jodi stands on steps in her loft, looking down at Bette (whose back is to the camera). Jodi is holding a drill in her hand, and has the other hand pressed to her chest. She says, "Why do I scare you?"](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Screenshot-2020-05-03-18.10.08-scaled.jpg?resize=1220%2C763)
Is it the large electric drill in my left hand? Be honest
![Close-up of Bette's face, she has tears in her eyes. "I don't want to die right now."](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Screenshot-2020-05-03-18.11.40-scaled.jpg?resize=1220%2C763)
Gimme like 2-3 hours of catching up on twitter
![A bunch of guys (including Max, whose back is to the camera) standing around in a circle in the office break room. One of them says, "She's a stupid bitch."](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Screenshot-2020-05-03-18.37.38-scaled.jpg?resize=1220%2C763)
So that’s one small thing we have in common
![Alice (wearing a thin strap peach colored dress) and Helena (wearing a black blazer) are standing in a crowd of photographers. Alice says, "The Chart."](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Screenshot-2020-05-03-18.41.00-scaled.jpg?resize=1220%2C763)
You’re on it!
![Shane shakes the hand of a woman with long blonde hair and wearing a ball gown, standing in front of a poker table. She says to Shane, "I've been told I'm looking very Shane today."](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Screenshot-2020-05-03-18.48.14-scaled.jpg?resize=1220%2C763)
Which tbh does not seem particularly accurate
![Bette (wearing a brown top, her back to the camera) sits across a dinner table from Jodi. They're holding hands across the table. "Eight. Eight, eight, eight."](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Screenshot-2020-05-03-18.49.17-scaled.jpg?resize=1220%2C763)
Is Great!
The Lesbian Phone Tree, the Basketball game and the mission to ascertain the disposition and intent of one Miss Lara Perkins are some of my favorite scenes from this show