18 Excerpts from Maddie’s Babyqueer Diary, 2005-2007

Welcome to Excerpts From My Super-Secret Diary, a new A+ feature for Silver & Gold members in which we publish for you some of our incomplete and/or highly personal thoughts we’ve written down, usually with actual pens. Today, Maddie has selected excerpts from her journals chronicling her earliest queer days.

This week, I turn 25 and it's the 10-year anniversary of the first time I came out as anything: when I told two of my friends on my 15th birthday that I was pretty sure I was "totally bisexual."

My early teen years had their share of heavy angst. But that period was also one of the first times I found myself feeling really happy. Sometimes, in-between pining over girls that I couldn’t articulate my feelings for, and spending afternoons at the hospital with my mom, I got to just be an adolescent who did stupid shit with her friends and really loved Rent and the West Wing.

I compiled these journal excerpts because I find them hilarious and heartbreakingly earnest, b...

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Autostraddle staff writer. Copy editor. Fledgling English muffin maker. Temporary turtle parent. Zine creator. Swings enthusiast. Political human who cares a lot about healthcare and queer anti-carceral feminisms. I asked my friend to help me write this bio and they said, "Good-natured. Friend. Earth tones." Another friend said, "Flannel babe. Vacuum lover. Kind." So. Find me on Twitter or my website.

Maddie has written 100 articles for us.