Things I Read That I Love #212: She’s A Little Trigger-Happy On The Misanthropic Rage

HELLO and welcome to the 212th installment of Things I Read That I Love, wherein I share with you some of the longer-form journalism/essays I’ve read recently so that you can read them too and we can all know more about Blue Apron! This “column” is less feminist/queer focused than the rest of the site because when something is feminist/queer focused, I put it on the rest of the site. Here is where the other things are.

The title of this feature is inspired by the title of Emily Gould’s tumblr, Things I Ate That I Love.

In Blue Apron’s Chaotic Warehouses, Making Dinner Easy Is Hard Work, by Caroline O’Donovan for Buzzfeed, October 2016

This made me think of Good Eggs, where my fiancée used to work. It was such a good idea on so many levels, but sometimes an idea that involves small portions of high-quality food from multiple ethical sources at a reasonable cost simply cannot be — or, at least, cannot be without somebody getting fucked in the process.

The Golden Suicides, by Nancy Jo Sales for Vanity Fair, December 2007

The story of these two really messed with me when I first read about it, in New York Magazine, because of a relationship I was in when I read it. The kind where you both feel like misunderstood geniuses but also one of you is making the other slowly lose their mind. I liked reading about it again.

The Team of Men Behind Rachel Brewson, the Fake Woman Whose Trump-Fueled Breakup Went Viral, by Anna Merlan for Jezebel, October 2016

Well this is an intense and new way to and reason for creating a new identity on the internet to write personal stories that are lies. Really alarming from the perspective of an editor, it seems like it wouldn’t have been too difficult to vet an actual person from an imaginary one, especially when you have to pay them. Read this!

The Snarling Girl, by Elisa Albert for Hazlitt, October 2016

This is about ambition and I am 100% in love with 90% of it and look there’s just a chance, a rather large chance honestly, that you will love 90% of it too. Maybe the same 90%, maybe not. But I might even read it 2-3 more times.

Here is what we know for sure: there is no end to want. Want is a vast universe within other vast universes. There is always more, and more again. There are prizes and grants and fellowships and lists and reviews and recognitions that elude us, mysterious invitations to take up residence at some castle in Italy. One can make a life out of focusing on what one does not have, but that’s no way to live. A seat at the table is plenty. (But is it a good seat? At which end of the table??? Alongside whom!?) A seat at the table means we are free to do our work, the end. Work! What a fantastic privilege.

Blindsided: A Dream Engagement Turned Nightmare, by Mary Milz for The Indianapolis Monthly, May 2016

A woman who pretended to be somebody she wasn’t, a duped lover, lots of murder, Indiana — just relevant to my interests all over. And maybe also yours. FUCK I hope also yours.

5 Tragic Reasons Why the World’s Largest Theme Park Stands Abandoned in Ohio, by Brian Krosnick for Theme Park Tourist, September 2014

If you’ve been here for any significant period of time you’ll not be incredibly surprised to see this piece here. “This” is not a work of literary genius. It’s not necessarily longform so much as it is a pile of information that took a long time to read, but it does contain lots of dramatic pauses and melodrama in general. Honestly, I found it delightful, but your mileage may vary. Although the author humbly declares “Those park maps, particularly, tell the story of the park perhaps better than words can!” at the outset, I think he is really selling himself and his material very short. I really do. Also now I can’t seem to tear myself away from Theme Park Tourist, especially after reading this exposé of a Cedar Point mistake I luckily only made once and regretted immediately. Did you know that Disneyworld is closing today for the first time in over a decade? Because of the hurricane.

The Art Of Fiction No.216: Bret Easton Ellis, interviewed by Jon-Jon Goulian for The Paris Review, Spring 2012

Bret Easton Ellis is basically an asshole, but I’m drawn to his work regardless, even though I think engaging deeply with his writing makes me feel like a sociopath. Also he’s an asshole who has never had to make a living at anything besides writing, which is a pretty interesting angle for a human being to speak from. Can you imagine? Started from Less than Zero, now he’s here.

Are You Ready To Meet Your Fixer-Uppers? by Taffy Brodesser-Akner for Texas Monthly, October 2016

The story of a couple who have turned Waco into “a tourist destination, a lifestyle aspiration” and “a relocation consideration” (rather than “the place where the Branch Davidians thing happened”) by headquartering their home improvement empire and HGTV show The Fixer-Uppers there. It’s also about the history of Waco and all the shit that has gone down there and about home-improvement shows in general which I, like the author, never watch and don’t entirely understand. I really love Taffy’s writing though and it shines in this piece.

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Riese is the 39-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2967 articles for us.


  1. One of the things I love about these lists is that often you include articles that are older and interesting and that I generally missed when they initially came out. It is really nice to see things that aren’t being widely circulated, that I haven’t come across elsewhere. Thank you!

  2. Geez. I sat longer than I should have in, squished in between two men sweat dripping down my pits and forehead a matatu in Nairobi just so I could finish that Elisa Albert piece. Smiling through all of it, because I know, I know…. Everything she says (except the 2.5 kids + house)… I know. Thank you!

  3. I sat longer than I should have, squished in between two men sweat dripping down my pits and forehead, in a matatu in Nairobi just so I could finish that Elisa Albert piece. Smiling through all of it, because I know, I know…. Everything she says (except the 2.5 kids + house)… I know. Thank you!

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