These Miniature Snails Are the Small Pocket of Joy You Really Need

Feature image via aleia on Instagram

I’m prepared with an entire thesis about why snails are queer culture. They’re kinda slimy and traditionally straight people aren’t into them, for one. They’re underestimated, for two. They carry their houses on their back, which would be so helpful for gays — who famously cannot drive or pack light to save our lives.

But it comes down to this: there’s a snail in this post that will sleep on a perfectly recreated mini-bed made out of a Belgian waffle. Either you’re into that or you’re not (and you should be).

I was first introduced to the aleia Instagram account by Autostraddle’s A+ and Fundraiser Director, Nicole, who brought it up during a team meeting. And I’m pretty sure they first learned about it from their girlfriend? (what did I say? queer culture.) Within minutes the entire Autostraddle senior staff had all stopped what we were doing ooooh over virtual snails that we didn’t know as they went on teeny tiny fake dates and slept in the most perfect, tiny, fake houses. I joked “oh when we next have a hole in the in schedule, I’m writing about snails!!” Everyone laughed but I was dead serious, and friends, today is that day.

It turns out, I’m not alone! The work of Aleia Murawski and Sam Copeland  — the artists behind legit surprisingly gorgeous snail photography and accompanying Instagram account — have been featured in the New York Times three times since January! Once to demonstrate climate change, once to.. ugh… sell miniatures of supermarket brands (?), and once to talk about the secrets of getting snails to pose for photos (it’s cucumbers!). If you follow their Instagram, you’ll also see more BTS peaks for those of yall who are into that sort of thing. They also sell books, prints of their work, and are rescuing a very cute dog!

Now! Onward! SNAILS!!

Elder snails walking in the sunset!!

I don’t know bud, I think you have to listen to this snail play a miniature piano. I think you just have to do it.

A snail on a motorcycle in the desert! Does the peace and relaxation not just wash right over you??

For all my goth gays, a full(tiny)-scale recreation of Scream. How is something so horrifyingly adorable?

No, but a pet snail!!! With its own pet hamster!!! 

I simply want to discuss how they turned a waffle into this snail’s bed. I want us all consider how soft and delicious a Belgian waffle mattress would be. Tell me that’s not heaven. I dare you to try.

Just a snail in a heart-shaped bathtub, looking for love in all the wrong places…

… But I think we can level up on our heart-shaped objects. For example, nothing quite says romance like a miniature pick up truck with a heart-shaped cargo bed filled with comforting ramen.

And finally, BIRTHDAY SNAILS! 🎂

I hope this ridiculous boost of serotonin has made your day!

If you want another shot of that sweet sweet snail sunshine — don’t forget to follow aleia on Instagram (yall I promise they didn’t sponsor this post, I’m just very gay for snails!)

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Carmen Phillips

Carmen is Autostraddle's Editor-in-Chief and a Black Puerto Rican femme/inist writer. She claims many past homes, but left the largest parts of her heart in Detroit, Brooklyn, and Buffalo, NY. There were several years in her early 20s when she earnestly slept with a copy of James Baldwin’s “Fire Next Time” under her pillow. You can find her on twitter, @carmencitaloves.

Carmen has written 700 articles for us.


  1. I do not comment very often but I really needed to say:

    Patricia Highsmith was really into snails.

    Would be interested to read part 2 of the Queer Snail Thesis!

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