Laura’s Team Pick:
You know those songs you listen to when you need a good cry? Or the ones that sneak up on you and make your eyes start leaking at inopportune moments? As it turns out, there’s some pretty rad science behind all those tears.
This week, the week of Adele’s Grammy sweep, the Wall Street Journal ran a story on what exactly it is about “Someone Like You” that pulls at everyone who listens to it.
“Twenty years ago, the British psychologist John Sloboda conducted a simple experiment. He asked music lovers to identify passages of songs that reliably set off a physical reaction, such as tears or goose bumps. Participants identified 20 tear-triggering passages, and when Dr. Sloboda analyzed their properties, a trend emerged: 18 contained a musical device called an ‘appoggiatura.’
An appoggiatura is a type of ornamental note that clashes with the melody just enough to create a dissonant sound. ‘This generates tension in the listener,’ said Martin Guhn, a psychologist at the University of British Columbia who co-wrote a 2007 study on the subject. ‘When the notes return to the anticipated melody, the tension resolves, and it feels good.‘”
Music theory and I broke up after a rocky relationship that lasted from 1998 to 2002, and from what I understand it was with good reason: music can be a manipulative bastard. But like most loves, it can also be a beautiful, heart-wrenching thing that makes you feel altogether human. The more you think about it, the more it makes sense: songs are more than just words set to music. There’s a reason that Sophie B. Hawkins song made me cry when I was 7, even though I’d never lost anyone I loved before.
Everyone likes the occasional cry, but songs don’t get to #1 by making people sad. So what’s up? Are we really just a bunch of masochists in love with our sadness?
“If ‘Someone Like You’ produces such intense sadness in listeners, why is it so popular? Last year, Robert Zatorre and his team of neuroscientists at McGill University reported that emotionally intense music releases dopamine in the pleasure and reward centers of the brain, similar to the effects of food, sex and drugs. This makes us feel good and motivates us to repeat the behavior.“
In the interest of your brains’s dopamine output, we’ve compiled a list of some of our favorite devastatingly beautiful songs.
Fleetwood Mac: Landslide
Daby Toure: Banta (Laura)
Phosphorescent: A Picture of Our Torn Up Praise (Laneia)
Jimmy Eat World:Â 23Â (Riese)
Patti Smith: Pissing in a River (Whitney)
Vanessa Carlton: White Houses (Laura (hon. mention: Katrina))
Otis Redding: Dock of the Bay (Jamie)
Death Cab For Cutie: I Will Follow You Into The Dark (Lizz)
Rent: I’ll Cover You (Reprise) (Riese)
Neutral Milk Hotel: In The Aeroplane Over The Sea (Jamie)
Iron and Wine: Flightless Bird, American Mouth (Laneia)
Regina Spektor: Us (Laura)
Adele: Hometown Glory (Laura)
What are your favorite heart-bending songs?
Well, this is good timing, as I intend to spend a lot of time crying to sad music about the fact I won’t be attending A-camp.
U2’s ‘With Or Without You’ is on that list for me… also appropriate in the circumstances ;)
Aeroplane Over The Sea! That’s one of my go-to songs when I need a little cry. “Two Headed Boy Pt. 2” is good for that too, also by Neutral Milk Hotel.
That, and “Oh, Maker” by Janelle Monae.
I might just sit in on your crying session because of your soundtrack. I can bring you cookies or blankets.
Laura, guuuurl, we have an ex in common — i dated Music Theory, too. We broke up in 2004. Times were rough. As much as I tried, I never really understood her beyond surface level. She made me a better musician, and I’ll always remember her for that, but our relash ended pretty dissonant–no resolution.
music theory and i have a long relationship in our future; i hope it doesn’t get ‘suspended’ because of my ‘dominant’ personality.
oh, music theory jokes. i’m sorry.
It seems puns are your forte, Jen.
“Mon coeur s’ouvre ta voix” from Samson et Dalila by Saint-Saëns.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJfR8qxXL8g
Just seeing I Will Follow You Into The Dark on this playlist makes me tear up.
Also by DCFC “What Sarah Said” makes me cry.
Sarah Mclachlan’s “Do What You Have to Do” and Counting Crows “A Long December” as well.
ooooh this playlist is so good and sad — right up there w/ riese’s “oh seven” mix, but like, sadder.
My gal and I were just discussing two nights ago how “White Houses” is one of those pure pleasures, like getting to the top of a mountain after a hike, or driving along PCH at sunset with someone you love. Glorious playlist.
I frequently want to cry when Adele is on the radio. Because she is playing on every station seventeen times an hour.
i make myself turn the station every time so that evil evil pop radio doesn’t ruin her for me.
Oh my god, WHITE HOUSES. I thought I was the only one! I feel much better knowing I’m not the only *good* music lover who still cries to Vanessa Carlton occasionally.
Blake Shelton “The Baby” always makes me cry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkZxy4E1QEU&feature=related
Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing”. Every freaking time I cry.
Two songs I go to for a good sad song induced crying spree:
Ryan Adam’s ‘This House Is Not For Sale’
Warpaint’s ‘Undertow’
Everytime…
Brick by Ben Folds Five. Slays me everytime.
And also The Heartache Can Wait by Brandi Carlile.
Which is on a CD of Christmassy songs, of all things.
Sarah McLachlan’s “In the Arms of the Angel” because it makes you think about those poor SPCA puppies or that Meg Ryan movie and either way it’s just SO SAD.
Also SNL did that sketch about how Someone Like You makes everyone cry:
http://jezebel.com/5859220/the-adele-moment-that-articulates-everything-in-your-soul
Wow. Half of this playlist are like my favourite songs ever. Can’t wait to discover the other half :)
Also: “Songs are more than just words set to music.” –> Love this.
Oh hey! I heard this reported on NPR yesterday! Here’s the link for the audio story… It’s awesome cause it has a conductor talking and it has a lot of audio examples from different songs about the appoggiatura and examples of it so you kind of get more from it than just reading an article.
Mmmm I just love NPR and music and science.
http://www.npr.org/2012/02/14/146888725/another-take-on-the-appoggiatura
thanks! i’m going to go listen to this stat.
That playlist, YES.
For me it’s Don’t Know Why by Norah Jones. And also, Blackbird (original and Sarah Mclachlan cover). Seriously these songs: RIVERS. On my face.
Ok and also…. The Rainbow Connection by Kermit. Yep.
Oh, my God, the Rainbow Connection. Yes.
Anything from Damien Rice’s “O” album. Blower’s Daughter, Delicate…might as well be chopping onions.
Cliched, I know, but Jeff Buckley’s cover of Hallelujah.
omg. yes. during my year of crying I listened to that song like every other week. it still gets me. “it’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah, hallelujah.”
oh hands down. hands. down.
My go to Sad song of late is “Putting the dog to sleep” by the antlers.
One day it came on my shuffle, and it was just the right brand of morose for my mood.
I mean, the opening line is
Prove to me, I’m not going to die alone
re:stacks by bon iver always makes me feel weird.
true that
x3
Manchester Orchestra – Sleeper 1972. 100% sadness guaranteed.
The Indigo Girls’ “Love Will Come To You”.
Blindsided by Bon Iver always ends me. There is no hope for me to not be a crying mess whenever I hear it!! Or anything else on that album, for that matter. Also 9 Crimes by Damien Rice. I’m gonna start crying just thinking about this now!!!
crying to sad music and feeling bad for myself is probably one of my favourite pastimes
Urgh, I have wept to too many of these songs! Now I see it was this ‘appoggiatura’ malarkey…
Personal favourites are ‘Flightless Bird, American Mouth’ (I love me some Iron and Wine) and ‘Landslide’
lullabye(goodnight, my angel) by Billy Joel. I heard it for the 1st time after my 2 cats died within 3 days of each other, 1 from cancer and the other of heartbreak. that was 2 years ago and the song still destroys me.
do you have the link to that wallstreet journal article? i think you intended to link it but it actually led to another AS article
nevermind – found it!
Crying in a good way: Heartbeats (The Knife cover) by Jose Gonzalez gets me every time. Also his cover of Kylie Minogue’s Hand On Your Heart.
Crying in a bad way: Anything by Betty.
Ray LaMontagne- ‘Jolene’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdT9uzfTRM0
and Sufjan Stevens- ‘Casimir Pulaski Day’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXxYvlVWbG8&feature=fvst
songs that helped me get through watching my grandpa die and all the weirdness that goes along with witnessing death.
oh fuck, Casimir Pulaski Day. YES 100%
if i ever had to produce tears on demand, Casimir Pulaski Day would be my inspiration.
Johhny Cash’s cover of “Hurt”. The music video is 100000000x worse too.
While I do love White Houses, it doesn’t make me cry…
Oh my god all the songs I know on that list have a direct connection to my heartstrings WHAT IS THIS WIZARDRY
Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah is my favorite crying song, i listened to it all the time for a while. Genius Next Door and Man of a Thousand Faces by Regina Spektor break my heart. Also Death Cab for Cutie, Transatlanticism. Straight by Amanda Palmer. Elliot Smith, Twilight. okay, a lot of my music is crying music…
I learned to cry again when I was 16 and it happened when I listened to Tori Amos’ “Winter” on repeat.
as for “Someone like you” – I can’t cry to it anymore, I have to laugh almost every time I hear it. But that’s a different story.
Interpol – Leif Erikson, how could I forget.
Yes ,this. x100. Leif Erikson always makes me cry. Every. single. time.
I lost it at “I’ll Cover You.” That’s one of the few songs that consistently makes me cry.
A song that makes me cry is “Open At The Close” and “End Of An Era” by Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls. Yes, they’re Wizard Rock, but I’m a nerd.
Just thinking of Someone like you causes me to want to cry, the first time I heard it, I thought of my ex and it made me cry, loved the song but tore me up. A few months ago, she took her life, and now I literally cannot listen to the song, the first few notes and i feel my chest tighten up, have to turn it off or I will almost sob
More or less every song in Elliott Smith’s discography works here.
I’d also like to nominate:
“Sister Winter” – Sufjan Stevens
“Harmonix” – Surfer Blood
“Shot in the Back of the Head” – Moby
“Candy Says” – Velvet Underground
“Adieu Mon Coeur (Acoustic)” – My Brightest Diamond
“Dreams” – Fleetwood Mac
“How It Ends” – Devotchka
“Jed’s Other Poem (Beautiful Ground)” – Grandaddy
“Legs Away” – Mother Mother
Now, if you’ll all pardon me, I’m going to listen to “212” on repeat until I feel less like melting into a puddle of despair after listening to all these songs.
Brandi Carlile – Before It Breaks. It gets me every single time.
Brandy Carlisle’s The Story always gets me crying. Plus I always get a good cry from Sia’s Breathe Me has the same effect. The same with a lot of Dido songs.
Radiohead – True Love Waits
ah I love so many of these, but I have to up the cheese factor.
The song “People Change” by Rockapella has slayed me since high school. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_o_B8qC3Yc
(Yes, THAT Rockapella of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego fame.)
Yes to Regina Spektor’s “Us”
Dolly Parton “Coat of Many Colors”
William Fitzsimmons – I Don’t Feel It Anymore
Terra Naomi – Flesh for Bones
Ray LaMontagne – This Love is Over
Olafur Arnalds – Undan Hulu (ok, this one is instrumental)
Francis Cabrel – C’était l’Hiver
Brandi Carlile – That Year
Bebe – Cuidándote
+1 Sarah McLachlan – Angel
+1 Rent – I’ll Cover You reprise
Hmm. Apparently I like sad music.
WILLIAM FITZSIMMONS!
ikr? All of his lyrics are so depressing but his voice is so soothing at the same time.
Let Me Leave – Marc Broussard : Ugh. Heard this live. Became an emotional wreck.
Ben – Michael Jackson: I’m sorry but there is nothing more sad than a boy writing and singing a song to a rat about him being his best/only friend.
Exhale (Shoop Shoop) – Whitney Houston: This is my go to “listen to this while you’re feeling emotional and need to cry but can’t”
This Is Me – Jen Foster: Song about coming out to your parents. How could I not cry?
These are my sad songs:
9 Crimes by Damien Rice
A Man/Me/Then Jim by Rilo Kiley
Elephants by Rachael Yamagata
Sorrow by The National
aaaand…
The Freshman by The Verve Pipe
Brick by Ben Folds Five
also, maybe something super emotional happened to me whilst listening to The Decemberist’s new album but it always makes me sad for whatever reason.
In California by Joanna Newsom
Lover You Should’ve Come Over by Jeff Buckley
Colors and the Kids by Cat Power
Good Woman by Cat Power
Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits
Birds by Neil Young
Nightswimming by REM
Empty by Ray LaMontagne
Sometimes I Still Feel the Bruise by Trembling Blue Stars
Nightswimming, yes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qczXWXNgRdU
just watch it
oh! and the freaking cover of “Skinny Love” by Birdy gets me all the time too. dammit.
River by Joni Mitchell
The Last Time I Saw Richard by Joni Mitchell
A Case of You by Joni Mitchell
Living Without You by Harry Nilsson (cover of Randy Newman) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA8i3NYLSVs&feature=related
Wise Up by Aimee Mann
I Can’t Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt
Pacing the Cage by Bruce Cockburn
Backstreets by Bruce Springsteen
OH MY GOSH I’M LISTENING TO A CASE OF YOU RIGHT NOW. <3 It's my favorite song. All of your Joni picks are mine as well. She's just incredible at writing gorgeous sadness. I love her so much.
I almost just said the entire album Blue… but there are a couple sliiiiightly more upbeat songs on there. :-)
The Long and Winding Road, Oh! Darling (especially Oh! Darling)… They break me down. Paul at the end of The Beatles is heartwrenching.
The Grammys lead me to discover The Civil Wars which led me to discover their song, “Poison & Wine.” This in turn led me to discover a new Sad Song.
“Romulus” by Sufjan Stevens…you congratulate yourself for staying strong through “Casimir Pulaski Day”, and then boom- “Romulus” comes on and you’ve just lost the dry eyes war.
To Be Alone With You by Sufjan Stevens
A Boy, A Girl, & A Graveyard by Jeremy Messersmith
Silent Night by Lisa Hannigan
Bittersweet Melodies by Feist
and the one that gets me every single time…
Little Hell by City & Colour
Sia – Breathe Me, I’m In Here (piano version), etc.
Rent – I’ll Cover You (reprise) is the reason why I started playing the piano again! One day I’ll be able to play it, but it’s still too hard for an amateur like me.
Also certain songs by Our Lady Peace.
Ooh also Queen – Love of my Life, Is This the World We Created
T__T
Bound to You from Burlesque! Gets me every time, oh god.
And Cry Me A River (the jazz standard, of course). Alongside Adele and DCFC, they have cause me emotional stress most of late.
“Someone Like You” makes me want to weep in the middle of the road or wherever i am when the song comes on.
Sarah McLachlan’s “When She Loved Me” (anything by Sarah actually),
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’ “Your Guardian Angel.
One of the most depressing song in my opinion is the Tamil song “Thenpandi Cheemaiyile” sung and composed by Illayaraja. You can listen to the song here; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eX0WwVgerW4
Now i have to go do something to cheer myself up :(
Left Behind from Spring Awakening, One Voice from bare: a pop opera, and 23 by MC Lars all make me sob literally every time I listen to them.
…Wow, this list makes it very obvious where my issues lie. But really, these songs are heart wrenching.
Also, The Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine. It doesn’t make me cry, but it falls under my definition of devastatingly beautiful.
…also also Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars. OKAY I’M DONE NOW.
oh that one gets me every time. and “passing afternoon”
Somebody already broke my heart – SADE
Scott Matthew always gets me.
I have literally been moved to tears by only one song–“Ara Batur” by Sigur Ros. The first time I listened to it, I was driving home from packing up my grandmother’s apartment after she died. The crescendo towards the end still gets me every time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_tIss1OhGM
Aside from that, there are only songs that make me FEEL like crying. SUCH AS:
“Anthems For a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl” by Broken Social Scene
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl3PyTqsc5c
“Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYIAfiVGluk&ob=av2n
“Konstantine” by Something Corporate (because the fifteen-year-old in me is still alive and weeping openly)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMwI1DlZpyY
Songbird by Fleetwood Mac and Angels by Robbie Williams. Both of them make my heart hurt.
I have an iTunes playlist called Feelings. Hallelujah was already mentioned, here are some of the other songs.
Catching Kisses (Acoustic) – I Spy Strangers
The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Sea – Los Campesinos!
Hear You Me – Jimmy Eat World (MY HEART! ALL THE FEELINGS!)
Stars – The Swellers
Meter And Verse – Young Guns
Top Of The World – The Blackout
Helena – My Chemical Romance
Konstantine – Something Corporate (which is probably EVEN MORE FEELINGS THAN JIMMY EAT WORLD IS)
I’m secretly a crier. Like if I go to a funeral, I won’t generally cry (exceptions were for my grandmother and her sister), but let me see the preview to the movie Dreamgirls and I’m wrecked… so here are my sad songs:
And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going – Jennifer Hudson (why won’t they love her??)
Save Me – Aimee Mann
Left and Leaving – The Weakerthans
Lua – Bright Eyes
Judas – Antje Duvekot
Even Though I Hate You, I Love You – Davichi
http://youtu.be/oINCeYxp2Vk
and of course a lot of the songs already mentioned make me bawl too – Sufjan Stevens, Fleetwood Mac, and Sarah McLachlan = +1’s.
Last request-Paolo Nutini
Gravity-Sara Bareilles (which I totally can’t listen without crying)
Medication-Garbage
Don’t you remember-Adele
Skunk Anansie- You’ll follow me down
This does it for me.
M.I.A. – Caps Lock
The Weeknd – The Birds Part 2
CocoRosie – Summer Breeze (You Wanna Fuck Me)
Active Child – Hanging On
Billie Holiday – Strange Fruit
Kanye West – Lost in the World
Cat Power – Names
Drake – Doing it Wrong
Portishead – Roads
and, naturally, Usher – Confessions Part II
I think you hit on a few good songs but Samson by Regina Spektor is at the top.
Gotye & Kimbra “Somebody That I Used to Know”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY
SERIOUSLY. i have more emotions for this than someone like you anymore. soooo good.
Bat for Lashes – I’m On Fire
Cat Power – Sea of Love
Ummm… this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwvHL_HcqwM
tear and soul jerkers:
sara bareilles – “gravity” and “between the lines”
bon iver – “holocene” and “i can’t make you love me”
elissa – nseet ensak
the civil wars – poison and wine
shakira – “no” and “pienso en ti”
joseph arthur – september baby
cinematic orchestra – to build a home
christina perri – arms
barcelona – get up
band of horses – noone’s gonna love you
eva cassidy – time after time
Sooooo many…where do I start:
The Civil Wars – I Want You Back
Tweet – Smoking Cigarettes
Tegan & Sara – Call It Off
Muse – Uno
Drake – Doing It Wrong, Deceiving, & Shot For Me
Evans Blue – Over
Trey Songz – Cant Be Friends
Kanye West – Devil In A Blue Dress
Adele – Chasing Pavements or almost anything else she has of course
and of course there’s more
I have a playlist tailored specifically for moments like these. And the title of my playlist? “Stop Crying Your Heart Out” in honor of Oasis.
Some favorites:
Christina Perri – Jar of Hearts
Glee – Get It Right
Bruno Mars – It Will Rain
Katy Perry – The One That Got Away (Boyce Avenue cover hits the spot)
Aaron & Andrew – New Start
A Fine Frenzy – Almost Lover
Aqualung – Breaking My Heart
The Fray – Heaven Forbid
Keith Urban – Tonight I Wanna Cry
Colbie Caillat – I Never Told You
Regina Spektor – Hero
Damien Rice
Adele
the list goes on.