The Comment Awards Will See You at Abbot Elementary

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Guess what, classmates? You knew just what to get Autostraddle for their 13th birthday! All told, you raised over $17,000 and over 300 people signed up for A+ during the mini membership drive and fundraiser. You’re amazing, you’re transcendent, and can your mom drive us to the mall after seventh period?

This week, my efforts to slog through Grey’s Anatomy once a week just for a glimpse of Kai and Amelia finally paid off in the form of a rock show and long-legged sofa cuddles and can you tell I am excited for this one (1) entire watchable storyline? Also: Kai having an apartment full of plant babies makes it very clear there is at least one queer writer in the writer’s room this season!

When she was 19 and closeted, Kayla wrote an essay about Santana Lopez. (When was 19 and closeted, I argued passionately with a lesbian friend that she deserved more accepting parents, as the very dedicated straight ally that I was, so…this tracks!)

Shelli spoke to longtime AS friend and contributor B. Nichols about writing for Abbot Elementary and the quest for more queer Black stories. This is perfect, Abbot Elementary is perfect, I hope it is renewed for one million seasons, thank you.

Abeni reviewed My Volcano, an “abnormal, bizarre, exhilarating novel” about a volcano…in…Central Park? Ok!

Read this: I’m Trans and I’m Not Leaving Texas.

Here are some fictional books Riese wishes she could read. Real talk: just how bad do we think Lez Girls really was? Were there manatees?

Finally, are you voting in Autostraddle’s March Madness? The choices are so hard but Natalie’s write-ups of these ships and couples are an absolute DELIGHT.

Then there were your comments!


On Boobs on Your Tube: Amelia and Hot Doctor Kai Had One of the Hottest Dates in Grey’s History:

The I Wanna Rock ‘n’ Roll All Night Award to Caitlin:

every week I send my sibling and best friend updates on greys bc I’m the only one with the moral fiber to keep watching its slow demise and I’m pleased to report that my “BRO hot doctor Kai is in a BAND?” text followed by video has inspired the sib to catch up!

On It’s Time To Get Into Jerky:

The Yellowjacket Special Award to Luca:

please imagine that I’ve inserted a GIF of adult Nat saying to adult Misty: “Jerky? Really?”

On Charting Celesbian Breakup Albums: “Cheap Queen” and “Valentine”:

The Co-Written in the Stars Award to Jill:

“Who gets to write about being sad/and who is allowed public heartbreak/and who gets to be the hero in the story” sounds like the first banger from a lesbian breakup album.

On The Essay I Wrote About Santana Lopez When I Was 19 and Closeted, Annotated by My Present Self:

The Dolphins Are Just Annotated Sharks Award to tapir:

Kayla ilu but your editorial note from the present correcting past Kayla’s spelling of Brittana… also misspells it 😂 all this to say, it’s fine and past and present Kayla and the rest of us are all doing the best we can!!

And the Elementary, Dear Caitlin Award to Caitlin:

oh, the joys of rereading very queer things you wrote prior to coming out! when i was about fourteen i wrote a sherlock holmes adaptation that was murders at a boarding school with an insufferable lesbian sherlock and a quietly heroic bi watson and honestly this might have inspired me to reread it!

On Pop Culture Fix: Meet The TikTok Twins Playing Tegan and Sara on Their New TV Show:

The Eagle Eyed Award to Kristana:

Heather, are you…hawking…this bird channel to us?

On I’m Trans and I’m Not Leaving Texas:

The Action Items Award to Gina:

1. this is really fucking inspiring and 2. thank you for giving us the gift of a concrete way to lend our aid from afar

And on Pop Culture Fix: You Can Wear Whatever You Want to Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe’s Lesbian Wedding:

The Ever So Fine, She’ll Toe the Line Award to Cecily:

I know it’s uncool to love Gentleman Jack in these streets, but IDC. Suranne Jones (As Anne Lister) is the only straight woman I’m even remotely attracted to. I watch it just for HER.


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Darcy

Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. She's a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of her Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! She also wants to make you laugh.

Darcy has written 334 articles for us.

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