First Person

How Rape Jokes Sound Inside Queer Bodies

If the performer had known that I write about the horrific violence against my community by day and process the trauma of that work in my journal by night, maybe he wouldn’t have made that joke. But I bet you he would have resented the implication that he shouldn’t.

First Person

She Wouldn’t Give Me Up

“I remember everything: what normal felt like all through college in my relationship with her — an attractive and charismatic woman who was also a compulsive liar and an abusive lover. Of course it didn’t start out that way. Insane realities rarely do.”

Politics + Activism

Communities, Not Police, Are Our Best Bet for Ending LGBTQ Domestic Violence

Victims/survivors in general are expected to seek help from law enforcement to escape from abusive relationships, but the police are sometimes the most dangerous and threatening forces in the lives of marginalized folks, even those who have an abusive partner, friend, or relative. For that reason, community support is central to assisting victims and survivors of domestic violence.

First Person

Because If I Was Honest, Everything I Knew Would Explode

“That instinct, to lie or protect the men who abuse us, is hard to explain. It comes from being afraid of the person who is abusing you, of course, but also afraid for the changes that honesty will force. We don’t want to endanger the men who hurt us, because we love them and we don’t think we can live without them… If anything, my identification as a feminist made the idea of disclosing the abuse even more difficult, because I thought it was something I was letting happen to me and it embarrassed me.”

News + Politics Politics + Activism

You’re Free To Travel While Transgender, Protected From Queer Partner Violence

The State and Justice Departments are teaming up to give you kind of a nice Friday – it should now be a lot easier for trans people to get accurate passports, and new guidelines on partner violence are also going to apply to queer relationships. Also, gay Republicans at LA Pride, angry gay Bostonians, the superstar teen sailor is missing, Exodus International wants you to know it’s sorry but you’re still going to hell, and a Jewish/Arab lesbian feminist has some thoughts to share.