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Welcome to Home Alone for the Holigays, where our writers welcome you to spend the day with them virtually, and live-tweet one of their favorite holiday films, with the hope that it will make us all feel a little less alone this year.
So, in this movie with THREE Vanessa Hudgenses, there’s a Mockneck Mommi and a Bi Cottage Core Sub, but still not actual switches???
While there’s broad societal acceptance of which season is the happiest season, what about the happiest seasoning? Considering the internet can’t really agree on what a seasoning even is, I realised I had my work cut out answering this pressing question. So, after minimal research and a commitment to “following the science” to the level of the average Western government, I present a shortlist of seasonings.
“What I would most like is to sleep in a glass coffin in a secluded forest dale doted on by chirping woodland creatures until the butch of my dreams comes to wake me with a kiss in roughly mid-2021, but excepting that, I will take these things.”
Lots of us will be spending the holigays on our own, which may be exactly what you’ve always wanted! But if you are trying to create a sense of togetherness, these activities might help you and your loved ones feel closer in far-away times.
I originally added this movie to my queue because, well, It was black. I love black people, I adore Christmas and I wanted to check out and support black films and who knows, maybe I would find a new classic. I started watching and quickly realized that not only did it feature a mostly POC cast — IT WAS QUEER!
This holiday season, show your favorite anti-fascist that you care with a gift they can take into the streets.
Much to my chagrin, this did not turn out to be a movie about Vanessa Hudgens and Vanessa Hudgens taking turns topping each other.