Straight Man Confused About Why Teens Are Lesbians, Want Each Others’ Bad Romance

STRAIS ON GAYS:
One of the things I personally find consistently hilarious is straight people talking about gay stuff, and this article from Psychology Today called “Why are so many girls lesbian or bisexual?” is no exception. It is written by a (presumably) straight man who reminds me of Spock and includes memorable quotes like “…a growing number of girls self-identify as lesbian or bisexual. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, as Seinfeld might say,” and “Girls kiss other girls at parties because guys like it,” one teenage girl told me. “It makes the guys hoot and holler, so the girls do it again. They’re just doing it for attention. It’s not for real.” It’s actually not that bad overall and does its best to be objective instead of sensationalistic, but then again it also interviews a girl who says she’s bisexual now because an ex-boyfriend tried to make her shave her vadge, and asks if the increased visibility of queer women is because “guys are losers.” Also did I mention he looks like Spock. (@psychologytoday)

THIS IS FOR YOU SARAH PALMZ:
I think it says a lot that every gay news site we follow has covered this story. “Two elderly otters who were best friends and lived side-by-side for 15 years have both died of a heart attack within an hour of each other… zookeeper John Miller said the Asian otters, who were 19 and 16 years old, had been best friends for 15 years.” (@dailymail)

DINAH:
Have you been reading our series of Dinah Shore liveblogs? Maybe you should be, because we defo met Miley Cyrus while getting coffee yesterday, and Riese wore all black to the white party, and also BOOBS. Seriously. #desertstraddle2010

CORONATION STREET:
Um, speaking of sensationalistic, there’s going to be a lesbian storyline on UK soap Coronation Street! Don’t worry though the actress has a boyfriend in real life so it’s totally ok. “We’re both really happy. He’s been making the odd joke about me ­becoming a lesbian, but it’s what I expected and I can handle him.” (@dailystar)

PAQUIN:
Oh hey, I dunno if you heard, but Anna Paquin came out as bisexual! Also she crashed the True Colors Foundation site when she did. Other charities should follow this example and have hot female celebrities come out in order to gain support for their causes. LOOKIN’ AT YOU KRISTEN AND ELLEN (@kmtr)

CAFE:
Portland, OR is now home to Tuff Luck, a really great-sounding trans-inclusive cafe. “The cafe is inclusive of anyone who identifies as transgender, regardless of transition status, and raises funds for a variety of health care needs, including therapy, hormones, and surgery. Richardson’s friend Seamus Bogues created the shop with the goal of funding their top surgeries and told Just Out they eventually want to provide the same option to others.” If you’re anywhere in the area, definitely pay them a visit! Because apparently right now they can’t afford to pay their employees! (@theadvocate)

GAGA:
You thought you had heard every Bad Romance cover, didn’t you? Normally we wouldn’t bother you with another one, but this girl is very pretty.

And hey, do you feel like listening to the demos for “Just Dance” and “Monster?”

(@ohnotheydidnt)

MUPPETS:
Happy Easter! #eastermuppets (@buzzfeed)

And also crashed the True Colors Foundation’s servers. Other charities should learn from their example and convince other hot female celebrities to come out to bring attention to important causes. LOOKIN’ AT YOU KRISTEN AND ELLEN (@kmtr)

Rachel is Autostraddle's Managing Editor and the editor who presides over news & politics coverage. Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1064 articles for us.

22 Comments

  1. Lissis is AMAZING. This is such a great cover (and do I need to remind anyone of the end montage of Dollhouse?). Can’t wait for her album to be released in June!

  2. Not looking forward to watching the lesbian story evolve on Coronation Street, it’s set to be pure cringeworthy. Still, it’s kind of exciting as I’m pretty sure it must be the only proper coverage of “lesbian issues” on telly on the UK on a programme watched nationally by people over 20 (i.e. not Skins or Hollyoaks).

  3. That one boyfriend you had/John Mayer said what?

    Oh. Really? He said that?

    He is a loser + He is a guy = All guys are losers.

    I’m gay.

    Now,roughly 15% of young females today, let’s watch a movie and talk about God and death and growing old!

    I agree that the ‘Sax on Sex’ article seems to be doing its best to be “objective instead of sensationalistic”, but I also think it’s that earnestness what makes the amusing bits (and Sax) even more enjoyable.

    So, thank you very much for sharing that article. And, most of all, thank you, confused straight people, for being (roughly 86% of the time) unintentionally hilarious/adorable.

    • “I agree that the ‘Sax on Sex’ article seems to be doing its best to be “objective instead of sensationalistic”, but I also think it’s that earnestness what makes the amusing bits (and Sax) even more enjoyable.”

      yes, this was exactly my thought too. i guess i spend a lot of my time in a pretty gay bubble, but i’m genuinely surprised that lesbian/bisexual women seem so weird and foreign to straight people. like, i’m shocked that this was really the best they could do, and that they’re still so stumped by us. maybe they should just read autostraddle more, we are very educational

      • I spend most of my time around somewhat/very/completely confused straight people so I’m pretty used to the ‘gay = intimidating yet amusing alien’ outlook. But it does continually surprise me when it comes from someone who’s actually writing articles/books about The Gay.

        Having a ‘pretty gay bubble’ helps tremendously. Mine is mostly AS and not only is it very educational but it’s also, in a refreshing twist, intentionally entertaining.

        Also, I love that you wrote that “they should just read autostraddle more”, implying that they do read it. I’m not saying they don’t, I just really enjoy that thought. (Hello family! Hi Sax! Let’s talk it out!)

    • As you should! 😉

      If your comment had anything to do with my comments above I just want to clear up that of course I don’t think all straight people are confused about (homo/bi)sexuality or that all confused people are straight, but that particular intersection is usually very amusing and also, at least in my particular context, common (which I guess I can see as a good thing: I’m constantly amused!). There’s also the gay and confused about (homo/bi)sexuality intersection, but since that goes into depressing internalized-homo-confusion issues I would say it’s roughly 80% less amusing. (I was going to go with 90%, but then I remembered this mister )

      If it had nothing to do with my comments, which would make my clarification even more unnecessary: I’m sorry and, I don’t know… good luck with all future endeavors, or something!

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