Live-Blogging Dinah Shore Weekend Part II: Autostraddle vs. The Lesbians

Hello lesbos and lesbo allies! Welcome to the 2010 Autostraddle Dinah Shore Weekend LIVEBLOG, taking place in Palm Springs from April 1st to April 5th.

We’re splitting our live-blogging up by days.
Did you miss Thursday, April 1?! How dare you! Get on it GIRL. You’re lookin’ good today.

Check back here often, as we’ll be constantly updating this page with plenty of pictures, reportage, tweets, and general nonsense from the Auto-Team here in Palm Springs: Riese, Alex, Brooke, Nat Garcia, Laneia, Sarah, Jess, Tess, Taylor and Kelsey.

We did this last year, but it was only Alex by her lonesome self creaming her pants over lesbians and Lady Gaga.

In case you missed our Official “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Dinah Shore” Guide, here is the map of Palm Springs that sum up the weekend events:

Club Skirts events shown in magenta.
GirlBar events shown in light blue.

UPDATED MARCH 12 // CLICK TO ENLARGE

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Friday April 2nd, 2010 at Dinah Shore Weekend:

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4:24 AM Alex: Um it’s 1:24am and as soon as Kelis sings about milkshakes, I’m done. We out. She’s pretty fuckin fierce though, so I give her that. /retroactive feelings

Can someone tell me what the deal is with that wolf? I don’t think I “get it.”

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4:14 AM MORE FEELINGS: It is v. late both here and in Hotel California and Kelis hasn’t even gone on yet which, girl, what is that about? ANYWAYS I am going to go to bed so I will be ready for #feelingsstraddle2010 tomorrow, and you should too! Goodnight to Nicole and Rachel, my homegirls who are still awake. Go to bed ladies. Dream about Keira Knightley. Or whoever. I love you. GOODNIGHT

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3:56 AM THIS IS MY FEELING AS WELL

#desertstraddle2010

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3:32 AM OMG girrrrrrl, things just got cute up in here! THIS GIRL MEANS BUSINESS

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3:28 AM You know, where is Team Ke$ha? Wasn’t that the plan, that we split the group like in Scooby Doo and attend both? Did Team Ke$ha get stabbed? I really need someone to realize my plan where they meet Ke$ha in the back with a bottle of jack and see if she really is an “animal” slash “bisexual.” In related news, is anyone else in the entire world awake and reading this? Because I’m at the point where no one else I even know is awake and all that’s on TV is Avril Lavigne doing ProActiv commercials, and I’m just not really feeling it.

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3:11 AM Alex: I don’t know Riese wanted me to take this photo and send it?

I GET IT YOU GUYS SHE’S VERY ATTRACTIVE. I’m just over here watching NUTRISYSTEM INFOMERCIALS AT 3 AM, don’t mind me.

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2:58 AM Brooke: Wearing a tie for the first time in my life. Mixed emotions.

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2:54 AM I’m getting the message loud and clear about hotness w/r/t SamRo, you guys.

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2:48 AM Laneia: This is a thing that’s happening:

HGHHTYDOFFFGJTYOR

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2:37 AM Laneia: Lice could be spread here. Just saying. #close

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2:36 AM Sarah: SamRo is playing “I Want You Back.” Obvs for Lindsay. Now it’s “Signed Sealed Delivered” and straight into “Sex Machine.” THERE’S A THEME

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2:34 AM I don’t know if you heard, but we’re at the GirlBar Pure White Party? Like, we’re all wearing white. At a party. Except for Riese who’s wearing black because she’s a special snowflake. Also, it turns out they weren’t kidding about GirlBar, there are a lot of ladies up in here! Including one who looks like Dominique from that one cycle of ANTM, can you find her?

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2:27 AM HI WE HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT SAMANTHA RONSON. If that is not your thing you should probably check out for a while, make a sandwich or stare at the poster of Cathy and Jill on your wall

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2:10 AM And SPEAKING of HEY GIRL HEY, it’s SamRo taking her throne/place/stage at GirlBar’s Pure White Party!

Riese “thinks SamRo is hot IRL.” Specifically, she says “Tell Rachel I said she’s really hot.” She’s my boss, you guys! #ihavethebestboss

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2:03 AM Oh hey, I look away for ten minutes and Riese is suddenly hanging out with Jennifer Coolidge! Hey girl hey!

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1:47 AM BOOM BOOM POW

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1:43 AM Well, here we go:

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1:28 AM Sarah: We’re assembling.

!!!

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1:21 AM Goal for the night is to not fall asleep before team #desertstraddle2010 makes it to the white party. This may or may not happen. Would help if anyone in Palm Springs were talking to me. Just saying.

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12:57 AM In case you were wondering what’s going on, Riese has it covered for you.

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12:29 AM YOU GUYS

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12:25 AM Can I just take this moment to whine a little, just until 12:26? Everyone else gets to drink and make their hair pretty in fancy mirrors like they have for Las Vegas showgirls, and then wear white which will show off the tan they probs got today and gyrate while Samantha Ronson holds a headset to one ear. I have to stay up just as late (later? the east coast is 3 hours ahead) but cannot drink b/c then i would be drinking at home alone on a Friday night while eating ice cream and watching Whose Line (for real) and that is not okay. Also I do not have a sexy tshirt and have had zero bloody marys today. THAT IS ALL. We can keep going now!

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12:16 AM “So glammy!” – Laneia

#gettingreadyforthewhiteparty

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12:00 AM Sarah: We are doing what the kids call “pregaming.” That mostly consists of everyone whining about having to wear white. We are disregarding rule #1 of being in a horror movie and splitting up into groups. Half of us are going to go see Ke$ha and half of us are going to go stalk Lilo I MEAN see Samantha.

y’all someone is going to get STABBED but maybe we will break the story on how Sam and Lilo actually just secretly eloped and are also both pregnant with twins.

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11:52 PM OKAY GUYS NEW PLAN, since WordPress is like a delicate flower that is too fragile for the harsh ways of the world, we are going to lighten the load and post some photos on Facebook instead of here. Click on over and it will feel like you are invited to an exclusive club where you get to see how pretty we are. #feelings and #desertstraddle2010 will continue happening here.

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11:42 PM I feel like this was an ANTM photoshoot and the direction was “BE THE REVOLUTION.” It was shot by J. Alexander.

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11:37 PM Things I will just never get over: this shark slash this series of shark pictures

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11:31 PM Wakeup time! Wake up sleepyheads! KE$HA IS WAITING FOR YOU

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11:13 PM Jess: So I’m at the Palm Springs Convention Center for the comedy show…
Erin Foley is adorbs per ushe which makes me very jealous of Nicol Paone. Why aren’t Julie Goldman or Liz Feldman doing standup? Anyhoo, everyone is very funny and the lesbians are all in white for the dollar sign (um, Ke$ha) concert happening in a bit. Btw, I totally saw $ this afternoon doing an interview and she looked semi-human!

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10:34 PM Time for #cutetexts from Sarah F*cking P*lmer: Rachel it’s naptime! And porch time. Fyi. We think they lost our room service order. Also Samantha Ronson is in the same town as us! Wheee!

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10:15 PM Last I heard Riese did not have any pants for the white party. Is that still the case? B/c if so I see a lot of no-pants dancing in our future

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10:11 PM Ok ok ok we can go back to #cutestraddle2010. CARRY ON.

Brooke: I do not know how to iron. Taylor is domesticated and ironing my shirt for the upcoming white party.

You guys, Taylor knows a lot of ways to wear a bandana. Did you know this? It’s true, she’s like a black belt at wearing bandanas. Hopefully we will be able to see all her bandana decisions in all their glory over the next few days. ARE YOU LISTENING TAYLOR

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9:54 PM WHAT THE FUCK I just found out that Kelsey has been trying to get lesbians to have sex with the shark and I HAVE NO PICTURES OF THIS. I haven’t been that upset since that time everyone was really cute and I wasn’t there, which was like 20 minutes ago.

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9:27 PM Heartbreakingly we have to take a short break from #cutestraddle2010, because Brooke took this picture for us:

Brooke says she heard this was a soundcheck, but I feel like these ladies are looking awfully posed for a soundcheck? Maybe it’s a photo op. Also these may or may not be the Paradiso Girls. I think it is but also I had no idea who Kelis was until an hour ago, so. UPDATE: Brooke says one of their shirts says Patron Tequila?

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9:11 PM I’m just going to stop talking now. This will be a photoblog from now on. Eh eh eh, there’s nothing more I can say.

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9:03 PM Brooke: Alex can’t find her pants and is napping on the floor.

LOOK AT THAT. WHY WOULD YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE BESIDES THIS LIVEBLOG.

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8:57 PM JK it turns out we are ALL WORK AND NO PLAY. This is how your magazine gets made y’all. By ladies lookin’ cute on a hotel bed.

Is Alex wearing boyshorts? I hope yes

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8:43 PM I’m going to go ahead and guess that we are now in the transitional period between “pool party” and “white party.” I won’t lie, it sounds awesome.

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8:23 PM Why are you even following this liveblog, clearly Riese’s twitter is where it’s at

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8:20 PM !!!

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8:02 PM BREAKING NEWS: Kelsey’s mom thinks she is actually at the LGBA golf tournament. Kelsey’s mom is my new favorite person.

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7:50 PM OMG you guys. YOU GUYS. CSI, my favorite show in the history of shows (except for Iron Chef Japan) is on, and it’s even an episode I haven’t seen! I am confident this will add a sexy, dangerous new dimension to my liveblogging, get excited. Cause Sara Sidle is hot, right?

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7:35 PM Not to get too pathetic or anything, but I maybe spent the last 15 minutes watching Kelis music videos because I know nothing about her and she is performing tonight. So far I have learned that 1) She is bossy, 2) you’re not going to trick her twice, and 3) I like her a lot I think! I bet that will be a good show!

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7:19 PM !!! OMG too fucking cute for me to handle

We can probs stop the liveblog now, it isn’t getting any better than this! Just kidding we can NEVER STOP EVER

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6:48 PM Oh no Laneia is still playing hurt! I think we need a prayer circle you guys, who’s with me

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6:41 PM Jesus Christ, I just checked the schedule again and there are TWO MORE POOL PARTIES tomorrow. I really hope everyone packed sunscreen, I really honestly worry a lot about skin cancer and I am cringing just thinking about this

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6:34 PM Alex:This Dinah merch girl liked our tshirts and wanted one. So I gave her my last tank! Then she straddled this chair!

I support this decision, mostly b/c that girl is a stone fox. I’m jealous because I don’t have an Autostraddle tank top! Also when Alex said merch girl I immediately thought of Tiara, where are you girl, we miss you

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6:25 PM Oh my God! You guys! I want to put this in a locket or something!

Alex: How cute is Nat Garcia?!

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6:22 pm Oh heyyyyyyy more lesbians by a pool

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6:20 PM Oh shit, I just checked the schedule for tonight and realized that it’s Kelis/Sam Ronson night! That is so cool you guys, sometimes I forget that Sam Ronson is an actual human person who DJs parties and not just a thing I write daily fixes about, but a bunch of drunk lesbians are going to Experience Her for real. Oh Jesus Christ and tonight is Ke$ha’s thing too. How will we ever decide what to go to? WE ARE SO POPULAR.

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6:07 PM I just have a lot of questions about lube wrestling in general. What kind of lube are they using? Lube is expensive, how much did it cost to fill up that baby pool? Once when I was in high school my friends and I all came back from a gay prom and slept on the floor and someone gave someone else a back massage using lube as lotion. That is literally the closest I’m getting to Dinah. The program didn’t even say “lube wrestling,” it just said “pool party” – do pool parties normally have this? Am I just going to the wrong pool parties?

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5:59 PM Riese is sending pictures too! I am not sure what this is:

I feel like you could play Lesbian I Spy with it though. Ready? I’ll start: I spy one pair of cargo shorts and I think maybe a hoodie. YOUR TURN.

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5:56 PM I’m in love. This is it. This is no longer the Dinah Liveblog, it’s just the Lube Wrestling Liveblog. Also Riese isn’t here so there’s no one to stop me from changing the name of the site to lubestraddle.com. Fun fact: sometimes Laneia calls lube “situation lotion,” you guys should all say it too so it catches on.

I wish I had more context here – who is wrestling? Who is winning? Where are these women coming from? Does Dinah have its own team of bikini-clad professional wrestlers? B/c some of these ladies look buff (hot) as hell. Is this an Olympic event? If so, I might give up my dream of being professional eater and start training.

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5:50 PM — I’ve changed my mind, I’m totally pro-Dinah now, this is a great idea

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5:46 PMBrooke: This is about to happen:

It’s happening! It’s really happening! LUBE WRESTLING WILL BE A REALITY

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5:40 PM — YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

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5:00 PM — Hi! Sorry this is taking forever! We had a little bit of a Firefox Situation but it is ok now!

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3:55 PMKELSEY SPEAKS: So last night was fun. We went to bed at 930 ca time so to be fair it was later IRL. Also Alex made us put together some auto lanyards to hand out tomorrow. But then I started crying because I was tired. No one really understood what was happening but I got a lot of hugs out of it. Then I woke up this morning and got my period. So sorry everyone I was just pms-ing.

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3:45 PM – Um this is not related at all but I’m worried you guys don’t know how great Taylor and Kelsey are, so they sent this picture of Kelsey posing like a statue of George W. Bush. You’re welcome.

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3:30 PMTaylor: Kelsey and I found bloody marys, thank everything holy. Were gonna procure a fine buzz before the pool party goes down because that shit looks intense- there’s a logo sponsored baby pool of lube, which kind of made me throw up when I stumbled across it at like 10am

ALL MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE. Also Taylor and Kelsey are maybe the most adorable? Of anyone? Ever? Yes.

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3:00 PM – Oh hey guys! You all look so cute and tan! Especially Riese! Thanks for sending me this iPhone picture!

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2:30 PM – Here is what I like to imagine is happening right now:

Riese: Whee! I love pool parties!
Laneia: I know! It’s all the fun of childhood without the awkwardness of middle school parties and feeling like you have to wear a t-shirt into the pool!
Taylor: I have ONE HUNDRED MOJITOS!
Kelsey: And I brought everyone candy!
Alex, Jess, Tess, Brooke, Sarah: Hooray!

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST

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2:03 PMTaylor: Oh man- I came out to the pool to cover up my extreme paleness and I think they’re setting up some pool party situation which looks terrifying. A nice old dyke just gave me a towel- so much lesbo chivalry! Hey, I hold doors open.

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1:00 PM – Once again, in lieu of actually knowing anything about what’s going on at Dinah, I’m going to look at our helpful Dinah guide that we wrote ourselves ostensibly for other people going to Dinah and not, um, livebloggers. It turns out that today there’s – oh, a giant pool party! Two pool parties actually. Obvs I have not heard from anyone all day b/c you can’t take iPhones in the pool. This was poorly planned on our part. This is the picture we have associated with the pool party on the Dinah guide, though, so.

Can you tell I have a little bit of a one-track mind as far as Dinah goes? I am trying really hard to convince myself that it is a weekend of all lesbian wrestling, all the time. I guess I just like a girl in a bikini who can put me in an armbar.

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12:35 PM – Okay, Laneia may be awake but apparently no one else is. I CAN’T LIVEBLOG YOU SLEEPING GUYS

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12: 15 PM – OKAY we are back now from a long and lonely night of WordPress Not Letting Me Post In This Liveblog. What happened in those hours of radio silence? We may never know for sure, but Brooke did send me this photo on her iPhone.

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2:47 AMAlex: We’re back in the room! After dinner! I am drunk! Laneia has fallen and hurt her foot because she forgot how curbs work.

Apparently we missed out on some really great tacos, guys. #lifeishard

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2:29 AM Riese: Everyone is crazy!!!!!!!
[I’m not sure if I was supposed to post that, but I’m going to go ahead and assume YES]

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12:41PMAlex: There’s a pool party happening and it sounds awesome but the Auto-Team in our hotel room on our computers! We had technical difficulties (awesome timing with that,) but we’re back in action and will see the sun soon! I think/hope! Now back to our regularly scheduled programming above!

Here we are at dinner last night before we disappeared from the internet for 12 hours:

Rachel is Autostraddle's Managing Editor and the editor who presides over news & politics coverage. Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1086 articles for us.

49 Comments

  1. dear kelsey: because i never have to worry abut getting pregs, i don’t track my period which means i have this very special ritual with my mum where i cry a lot to her and she tells me i’m probably pmsing and i say “just let me have my feeeeeelings! i am not ruled by my body!” and then i call her the next day to apologize because she was right.

    • I DO THE EXACT SAME THING. I’ll call my girlfriend all weepy, being like “I miss youuuuuuu.” And she’s all, “Are you bleeding yet?” and I’m all, “You are so insensitive!! I just have soooo many feelings!” and then the next morning I wake up and am like… “oh yeah. shark week’s here.”

  2. UM. can you please make those tank tops a reality for the broke and under-21 and not-on-AS-staff crew? i would actually like to be buried in one of those tanks. not buried alive, obvs, unless it was under a pile of slippery, drunken lesbians. which seems to be a legitimate death option at the dinah. right up there with suffocating on a dental dam or getting tangled in an alternative lifestyle haircut. i’m sensing the need for a gi joe style psa?

  3. So I am so incredibly jealous. I say we host a mini Dinah in central park for the poor people who can’t afford to leave NY. It is supposed to be 70 here tomorrow. who is with me? Bring a bottle of lube and an autostraddle themed clothing item and we will be set.

  4. LOVE that group shot, my god, you are all sooo cute!!
    So much going on..Those tee’s are fab! Lube wrestlin–hello, ah sod going to bed here, I’m staying up with you guys! I’ve decided I’m on dinah time for the Easter weekend, so that’l be tequila and nachos for breakfast?

  5. oh my goodness, you ladies are OOC.

    1) kelis is awesome, i interviewed her recently and she was super cool.
    2) yes those are the paradiso girls.
    3) i knew that shark was a dyke.
    4) robin and i went to home depot today, so WHO’S GAY NOW, BITCHES!?
    5) did you say hi to our friend Erin at the logo lube wrestling thing? HI ERIN!

  6. K this is totes happening! Sheep’s meadow central park, NYC tomorrow at 2. bring your lesbians. I am wearing my autostraddle underwear for the occasion because I do not yet possess an awesome autostraddle tank top.

  7. So who’s going to see Ke$ha!? I’m hoping for a full report and some photos and maybe for someone on Team Autostraddle to get an autograph on their rack. Is that a lot to ask? I dunno, I’m sad and trying to live vicariously through y’all okay.

    Also, hot tank tops.

  8. I’m sorry Rachel, I wanted to stay up, I made it til 3am (UK time). I now have a #desertstraddle liveblog hangover.
    You deserve a lifetime supply of bloddy marys, margaritas, n coffee for keeping going!!

    • Um, yeah, or better still *bloody* marys.
      I need the sun on my face and a coffee in my hand, oh,and now its raining again here.bloody.marvellous. See, I can spell!

  9. Rachel here is what I love about this; that last year I was the one who was up at 4AM EST to live-blog Dinah Shore while Alex was in Palm Springs and I was in Ohio for random reasons whatevs, anyhow, I totally felt all the feelings that you feel.

    Also Samantha Ronson is super hot for reals, and me and laneia kind of have crushes on her. it’s semi-serious.

  10. HERE I AM

    boo lack of US visa + funds, so I’m in Toowoomba (the center of the universe) having just polished off a giant Easter egg. Not an euphemism.

    Sounds like fun!

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