The future is f*cking bright, kids. I hope you’re wearing 1-5 pairs of sunglasses.
We have been keeping a big secret from you which involves our favorite comedian of all time doing a webseries for Autostraddle called Julie & Brandy in Your Box Office.
BUT! Also. also. also. Though we’ll be bringing you a FULL teaser for our new show AutoNatic (I know, we voted on Nat’s What She Said, but we do what the pretty girl tells us to do Nat was so cute about liking AutoNatic better that we had to submit to her desires, but we have serious plans for a Nat’s What She Said SPECIAL SEGMENT) very, very, very, soon…
…today we are going to bring you a very special teaser for all of our brand-new webseries! You know, like they do on Showtime and stuff. Right? We’re fancy!
We don’t want to say too much more. ‘Cause we want you to be surprised, and maybe have a party in your pants? Is that too much to ask? When was the last time you had a real party in your pants…? +
This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
In Your Box Office: with Julie & Brandy
They see the movies so you don’t have to.
Autostraddle Behind the Scenes
You know how we do.
Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our A+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining A+ and supporting the people who make this indie queer media site possible?
Riese is the 40-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in California. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.
This looks amazing. OMG. Julie Goldman. *passes out*
UM HELLO i work here and i still just died and came back to life a bunch due to this teaser.
ARE YOU READY I DON’T THINK YOU’RE READY , ETC.
Nat demonstrated scissor fingers, which are my favorite type of fingers, second only to chicken fingers! And who is the cute blonde w/ Julie Goldman? Is that her companion girlwife ladyfriend? hmm. Well, I always have a party going on in my pants, but after watching this, my pants decided to invite other people to the party… and install a disco ball. SO YOU KNOW ITS SERIOUS. yayayayayayayayayayay for the future! :)
I think we should start a ukelele (STEF!) band called Scissor Fingers. No pants allowed obvs.
The first single could be “Fingerblasting.”
I totally agree.
Just when I think Autostraddle can’t get any better, you go and get me Julie Goldman. :)
OMG! I want the future to be NOW. I don’t care what havoc it might wreak on the time-space continuum.
I was concerned that you had spelled audio wrong..then I got it. DUH.
LOOKS AMAZING, I WANT TO SEE IT NOW!
This might, very possibly, be the best thing ever.
To express how this makes me feel. I must quote Julie Goldman, “Holy Mother Fucking Shit, autostraddle”. I am looking forward to this more, please.
Like Haviland, I too am optimistic about the future. Autostraddle just keeps getting better!
OMG, my brain just had a heart attack and my heart just had a seizure. I LOVE THE FUTURE, especially when it’s pixelated.
I just saw Julie Goldman on The Sopranos. I yelled “HI JULIE GOLDMAN” at my TV. And it was a way better moment than when I saw he-who-must-not-be-named on The Sopranos (you know, the guy with the gossip website).
This is so exciting/awesome. The teaser was full of epic.
AHaha I was like OH SHII- VOLDEMORT WAS ON THE SOPRANOS? ..just kidding.
this looks AMAZING. you guys are really going places.
omgomg why won’t the future just get here already?!
you know how most years around this time, you’re anxiously waiting to see how ilene managed to fuck everything up this season? what i’m feeling now is like the exact opposite of that. eeeee!
so true! I’m afraid it’s a mirage that Ilene has somehow manufactured and that if I walk towards it I’m going to fall into some kind of canyon that plays the interrogation tape re-runs and is decorated like Max’s baby shower.
Is it something about working on/for autostraddle that makes you all incredibly attractive???
My guess: They use photoshop and special effects. Alex Vega is secretly not only a design director++, she’s a superwoman, leading a team of graphic supernerds, going over every pixel to make sure it’s flawless. I’m sure they have the budget for that, right?
This is pretty accurate. Brandy is our first 100% CG character! She looks so realistic the way her and Julie interact and I’m very proud of our animation team!
Yes, we used the “f*cking hot” template with the “perfect hair” add-on.
this comment ftw!
anyone looks osm with a lens flare!
awesome, i´ll be having a drink to celebrate this.
To bravely straddle where no man has straddled before.
I’m pretty sure there is an inappropriate comment to be made here… I just can’t figure out what it is.
I can’t wait to ’em during my physic class =D
SO THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE.
jk. these are very exciting times we’re living in, kids: the steve miller band is confirming this for me.
THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY SOUNDS LIKE
(couldn’t let the reference go OR forget about the AUTIO portion…)
omg am I witnessing a le tigre secret lyric thread?
the future is SO EXCITANT. Julie and I share some feelings about James Cameron, no biggie.
Also Bumblebee at 2:17 made my nerdy heart go pitter-patter.
I know, I don’t understand how that costume is even possible but i want it/ an Optimus one!
I saw/heard Julie Goldman say Autostraddle and I got so excited, things went a little fuzzy. So I had to watch the whole thing again!
This is making me really excitant! I need to buy more sunglasses for sure- alot of people probably do now if we want to keep our homosexy vision. I think autostraddle just single handedly revived an entire sector of the economy.
The elephant in the room is that fucking TRANSFORMER.
ALSO, TESS’S SHOULDER.
I READ ALL THE COMMENTS JUST SO I COULD SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE FUCKING TRANSFORMER BUT YOU WERE FASTER THAN ME ALEX VEGA.
THE FUTURE IS SO BRIGHT I NEED TO ALL CAPS EVERYTHING
WHERE IS VASHTI
Very exciting. So very exciting.
I am super excited to be part of the future!!
um, can we talk about your amazing sunflower/lioness icon?
Has my vote for my favorite icon of all time.
this icon is the best part of my day so far
AutoStraddle is taking over the world. I like that I can be a witness.
AUTOSTRADDLE * (JULIE GOLDMAN + TRANSFORMERS AND BUSES + REPEAL PROP 8 SIGN)= i dunno i passed out from amazing-itis.
Confession: I first read that as “amazing tits”
PERVS. Ok me too.
Oops. I’ve never passed out from amazing tits, but I won’t object. Well, maybe I’d object to the passing out.
Um can the future be now. This looks amazing can’t wait to catch the Julie Goldman series. Bravah!
omg, that trailer made me so excited. i think a little pee came out.
that’s how Julie makes me feel too
This is the most amazing, exciting thing ever. I just had a seizure of love for Autostraddle.
i just laughed at that ‘white devil’ moment so hard i cried, and then i played it over and over. riese, could you make kelsey & i like a 8+ minute loop of that one moment? k thx.
OMG Taylor, I did too. Thank god I’m not the only one.
i’m afraid to watch it again because i love that two seconds and that cat head so much.
I am SO glad I put on 3 pairs of sunglasses before watching that promo.
Looking forward to it, I love this fucking place!
OMGaga! I just watched the this and I FUCKING LOVE AUTOSTRADDLE! I thought it couldn’t get better, but it will! The future is so so bright!
also, is being attractive a requirement for working for autostraddle?
It is. Basically, this is why I go I COULD NEVER APPPLLLYYYY. It’s like being a lesbian Playmate.
OMG you are really doing this! I’m so proud and a little teary-eyed but never mind that. It’s been a pleasure following you from Sunday Top Tens and Insomnia Poems to this rainbow coloured Internet empire, and at this rate I bet you’ll reach World Domination before Ellen does!
Also, the fact that Nat liked my half-joking AutNATic win comment so well she changed the name of the series is the best thing that has happened to me since that HTYSTC award! Yay for democracy!
awww this comment warms my heart
Why was a little Bumblebee walking down the street. Transformers….more than meets the eye.
Who is the girl that says, strap it on? She looks familiar.
Shannon Wentworth, CEO/Founder of Sweet (the lesbian travel company).
YES. rock it out, AS.
Haviland, you need an icon/avatar/whatever it is called. It is pretty much your civic duty. Also, as autostraddle’s BFF you have to represent. andmaybeijustwanttoseeyourfacebecauseyouarepretty
annnnnd now I have a smile on my face! thank you autostraddle, for existing.
Brooke told me I needed this. Done.
oops. ok trying again. HA.
That video made me smile.
Which means so so much right now.
I want the future now
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i feel like…. i also feel like i miss the future! (get it, because that is EXACTLY how I feel!)
Julie Fucking Goldman.