In the good old days, one could successfully divide the nation between Real Americans and Pinko Commie Homosexuals with little difficulty. However, as time marches on, things change and become complicated and weird, and now there’s a little more gray area than that. Based on a survey of Google News taken around 1 am this morning, there are now roughly three camps:
1) Raging homosexuals.
2) Those who tolerate their existence.
3) Those who exist in a state of perpetual horror and disgust at the former two groups.
Two prominent conservative personalities, Glenn Beck and Ann Coulter, have recently migrated towards the tolerant group, with Beck finally dropping his opposition to same-sex marriage and Coulter headlining GOProud’s Homocon 2010 As we mentioned on Thursday, Coulter is maintaining the speaking engagement despite criticism from other conservative groups and exclusion from some of their events. Add to this Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s mention in an interview last week that she supports marriage equality, even though she apparently still thinks that adult women become lesbians as a result of not finding a nice boyfriend. It’s almost like we woke up in a whole new world, where your hair looks nice and your mom wants to meet your girlfriend.
Of course, that doesn’t mean haters are gone – the American Family Association has responded with: “Let’s be clear: endorsing homosexual behavior is not a conservative position. Period. Supporting special rights based on aberrant sexual behavior is not conservative, period. Supporting either civil unions or marriages based entirely on using the alimentary canal for sexual purposes is not conservative, period” as well as language that reads like a call for a political hit on both Beck and Coulter. And there’s still Focus on the Family, which brought this mindbending nine minutes and twenty-four seconds into the world:
What’s the secret sauce ingredient that keeps the AFA and Focus on the Family talking crazy while other hardcore conservatives are beginning to concede that this just isn’t an issue that affects them? It could be anything – it could be the fact that growing social familiarity with the issue makes opposing same-sex marriage less popular; it could be an unexpected positive effect of the liberal backlash against Prop 8; it could just be America growing up a little and changing with the times.
I would argue, however, that in this case it seems like this could just be about the facts. Everything that the AFA and Focus on the Family has released is wildly incorrect; a commenter on the above video asked “why they bothered to remove their tin foil hats before taping this report,” and the AFA response to Beck and Coulter implies that they have access to some secret copy of the reviled Homosexual Agenda – “You will be received with a standing ovation for pandering to a group that wants to put open homosexuals in the same showers and barracks with sexually normal soldiers (priority #4) and is fiercely opposed to any attempt to elevate protection for natural marriage to the Constitution (priority #7).” – which honestly makes them sound insane.
Last week, a US District judge has rejected counseling student Jennifer Keeton’s claim that having to tolerate or learn about gay people in the course of her studies violates her religious beliefs. Keeton’s school had originally provided her with a “remediation plan” to educate and familiarize her with gay issues, so that she would no longer tell gay clients that “their behavior is morally wrong and then help the client change that behavior.” The judge has ruled that this requirement was “academically legitimate,” and not an attempt to change Keeton’s religious beliefs, as she had claimed. This is important, because it establishes (again, for people who were apparently confused) that being able to treat all clients to the best of your ability regardless of their identity or your opinions of them is necessary for anyone who provides physical or psychological care, and that it’s not an issue for serious debate whether homosexuality is something that needs to be “fixed.”
Would this case have gone our way a decade ago? It’s hard to say, but it wasn’t that long ago that known homosexuals weren’t even ALLOWED to be teachers in the first place!
Also we should mention that many of the comments on this article are hilarious and feature scare quotes prominently.
Over the past 50 years or so, our community has put forth a concerted effort to educate our families, our communities and our country. From coming out to one person at a time and letting them know that we’re not as scary as they’d heard we were to the PSAs created to correct the misinformation spread by Yes on Prop 8, there’s more information on gay people and their lives available to the public than ever before. Maybe it’s being too optimistic, but is it possible that some people have actually taken it in, and decided that this isn’t really something worth fighting over? My impression is the the current divide in conservative circles is between people willing to look at the facts seriously and people who aren’t interested in reality at all. If that’s the case, it might not be too much to hope for that the former group increases in the coming years, and the latter is reduced largely to a reliable source of funny YouTube videos.
Let’s cross our fingers, at least until we accomplish Priority #7 on the Sexual Deviant To-Do List.
My mind may get confused, but most anti-gay activists set my gaydar off like crazy. It was all over the place during the “report”.
The Coulter/Beck thing mystifies me but in a good way. This: “Supporting either civil unions or marriages based entirely on using the alimentary canal for sexual purposes is not conservative, period” on the other hand, is just weird. Why are they so obsessed with anal sex?
It took me reading the article, then reading your comment twice to understand their euphemism. I still do not understand their obsession.
plus, like, does that mean they are 100% okay with lesbians getting married since (most of) our relationships are not “based entirely on using the alimentary canal for sexual purposes”? can we only get married if we give up anal sex? can we be married at all times except when we are having/ about to have anal sex and is there a hotline we can ring to report in so they know to temporarily suspend our marriage licence? SO MANY QUESTIONS
Sorry guys. Alimentary canal begins at the mouth and ends at the anus. So if you gay ladies want to get married, you’ll have to promise hands-only vag action. Also, you should turn in any heteros you suspect of giving blow jobs for immediate annulment of their vows.
Sounds like their totes cool with some vag on vag action, so we’re cool!! :P
The conspiracy theorist in me can’t help but think that Glenn Beck has realized how many people hear him say something and immediately decide that he’s full of shit, so now he’s giving his approval to gay marriage in a covert attempt to discredit it.
Anyway, I’d really like to get a copy of the gay agenda! I’m really curious as to what the other priorities are, and whether or not there are different ones for those of us in other countries.
I think it involves recruiting innocent straight people to our decadent lifestyle, but I can’t quite remember; I’m afraid I mislaid my copy.
It might be anal sex. That is what everyone is talk about about, after all.
Do u mean to say u didn’t get the agenda included when u got th hand book?? It’s just before the section on ‘how to seduce every straight person in the world-there’s a reason that ‘backs to the wall’ saying exists!’ – I love that tag btw! and after ‘how to dress like just queer enough so u can have some one shout out your lovlerly gayness to whole wide world-apparently u get extra points the more colourful th language used!! Yay rainbows!!! :D
I love that the “homosexual activists” are hiding behind things like safe schools, diversity and anti-bullying. Can we start hiding behind cupcakes and kittens next?
We can play hide-and-seek, if you like.
Totally up for it!
I’ve personally always been a strong supporter of both cupcakes and kittens, as well as sunshine, happiness, rainbows, and unicorns. I’m willing to hide behind any and all of these things if necessary.
As an aside, I really want a copy of this numbered list of priorities the AFA has got hold of. My Gay Welcome Package(tm) was missing it.
yeah, me too, i’m really curious as to how gay showering got higher on the list than CONSTITUTIONALLY MANDATED EQUALITY. really, anyone who wants to share how that happened, feel free.
well, i don’t know, personal hygiene is important
idk. i couldn’t even get past 3:21 of the video, i was so disgusted.
I felt like vomiting after watching it. The worst part was that there was no guilt in their voices for preaching such hateful things.
BTW here in Australia, a big name footy player went on a bit of a rant and said that gays should stay in the closet because he thought it would make showering awkward….he was recently sacked from the club (albeit for a number of reasons- I personally like to think that this comment may have had helped push him off the ‘cliff’. Probs not- but I can hope!!)
Hello? Censorship, much? Like, hey, straight relationships being shoved in children’s faces hasn’t kept roughly 10% of the population from batting for the same team. That includes some members of Christian faith, which then go on to hate themselves cuz “it’s wrong”.
The whole point of acknowledging the existence of gay relationships in school, I think, is to help overcome the something that shouldn’t be a problem. Puberty alone is enough. Children don’t “loose their innocence” by realizing that “hey! i’m a girl and I could possibly like the idea of kissing another girl”.
I do think Prop8 is helping our cause, much like the article in some US newspaper claiming victory over PirateBay (evil copyright offenders) increased its traffic as soon as it was set up again. Like I’ve heard stated in publicity, any advertisement is good advertisement. Too bad some of our advertisement comes from sad suckers that don’t really know what they’re talking about and refer to anal as “using the alimentary canal for sexual purposes.” That’s just… sad.
Right? And why exactly are THEY using the birth canal for sexual purposes? That’s just sick and wrong. Babies’ heads have to come through there. PAEDOPHILIA!
Heh. Reminds me of a bit of a really cute gay story:
“MOTHER: [to son] I can’t believe you let you son sit in that man’s lap! He probably had a hard-on the entire time!
SON: [in love with said man + my modifications of story] He’s not a paedophile mom. He’s just gay.”
Oh, and remember, babies are brought by cranes, which probably live on the Nile (Egyptian baby, anyone?). So birth canal isn’t really a birth canal, thus acceptable as it has no function other than accepting dick. And other phallic objects, but we don’t talk about that. Not in this safe school, anyway.
I need an updated agenda. Mine says Priority 4 is undermining baseball to make the WNBA America’s national pasttime. When did that change?
They did it at the same time plaid was changed from mandatory to optional in the dress code.
(But mostly I just wanted to compliment your comment. #colorsystemjokes)
Ha, Beck and Coulter don’t care about “facts”. They’re political opportunists. And right now the political LGBT blogosphere is hating Democrats. They smell blood in the water. Plus, libertarians really don’t care about gays. It kills me a little inside that civil rights are a political game though.
I remember when Beck was having anti-transsexual stories on once a week when he was still on CNN headline news. I’m thinking he still hates trans folk.
has anybody looked at the website from the video? cuz its full of hatemongering and will probably wreck your day, so, you know, i wouldn’t recommend it.
i just wanted to roundhouse kick that focus woman in the face.
Oh my GOD- Stuart Shepard is so TOTALLY GAY!!!!!!
Urrrgh!!! Yes, we gay-ladies trick people into liking us by being bullied at school! Well hello! How else will people come to accept us as the lovely people that we are!
Im going to hide behind a rainbow unicorn with my cat now….Poko won’t be happy about that- he doesn’t like unicorns (thats what you get for having a boy cat!!)
Your title is pretty ridiculous — gay conservatives exist. Like the Log-cabin Republicans. They may not be as visible (or loud) as liberal conservatives, but that doesn’t mean they need to be bashed.
Your title is pretty ridiculous — gay conservatives exist. Like the Log-cabin Republicans. They may not be as visible (or loud) as liberal gays, but that doesn’t mean they need to be bashed.
Uh…yeah. They do need to be bashed. They totally do. We can’t and shouldn’t make fun of their internalized homophobia – that’s not something anyone should be gleeful about – but how many of them are transphobic, racist, classist, ableist, and misogynistic? How many of them only care about gay liberation as long as it doesn’t dismantle white Christian supremacy and cis patriarchy?
As a gender-nonconforming, disabled, gay, pagan woman, I’m more frequently targeted by this shit than you likely are, and I can’t afford to NOT fight back if my health , safety, and most if not all of my basic human rights are being put up for debate by cisgender, abled Christian Republicans – whether they’re straight or not. I honestly don’t mean to yell, but I really think that gay people who think we can afford to compromise with the Religious Right need to realize that not all of us can afford to do that. Intersectionality, please.
For fuck’s sake.
Yes, as a high school student, I’m totally running around trying to convert all the straight girls. And children. Can’t forget the five year olds.
And, you know, it’s not considered bullying for my girlfriend’s locker to have “pussy eatter” carved into it. Can’t infringe on the other students’ free speech. Nope, that’d be wrong. And yeah, they were stupid enough to spell that incorrectly.
/sigh
Sometimes I just want to punch people.
I mean, idk how we’re getting “special rights” when we want the SAME rights as everybody else…