Elisabeth Hasselbeck Could Age, Go Gay, Become Rosie O’Donnell

Today on The View, the panel discussed a recent study indicating that late-in-life lesbianism is becoming more common. Elisabeth Hasselbeck has it all figured out: Older men are dating younger women, forcing older women to go gay. Joy Behar, the voice of reason (and any intelligence on that show) states the obvious, “That’s ridiculous. [Those women] wanted to do it their entire lives but were just trapped in a system that said Get Married.” Elisabeth snipes back “Thanks for educating me!”

You know what would be even more amazing? If Elisabeth would consider educating herself.

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How should Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s career finally end? Do you think ABC should feed her to the sharks at Sea World? Or would that be a conflict of interests because of its direct competition with Disney Land? Are there any animals with sharp teeth at Disney Land?

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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3178 articles for us.

54 Comments

  1. The View executive producer Bill Geddies found his RepubliDummy with Elisabeth Hassholeblech – she reads what he tells her to read, says what he tells her to say. That’s why I am boycotting The View until Hassholeblech is fired – & I keep posting that on http://twitter.com/theviewtv http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/TheView?ref=ts
    http://theview.abc.go.com/forums/message-boards

    BOYCOTT THE VIEW UNTIL BILL GEDDIES’ REPUBLIDUMMY HASSHOLEBLECH IS FIRED

  2. Hm they should just burn her to death with her life time supply of blonde hair dye in the suntanning bed she sleeps in everynight. She’s like a tanning vampire

  3. Elisabeth Hasslebeck hurts my soul, also Whoopi set up the question to be why are so many women “choosing” to be lesbians “late in life” which is already problematic, Whoopi wtf, I thought you were on our side.

    I hope one day people think these kinds of convos are just as dumb as asking why more kids are born blonde

    • Whoopi also defended Mel Gibson and Roman Polanski… she’s on the side of the delusional.

      • Whoopi reminds me of men who drive big trucks. She has a tiny dick. But hers is a strap on. And she wants to bang women with it. Lots of them. #overcompensating

    • There really used to be a day when Whoopi spoke out loudly for minorities and children, and putting away pervs and hatemongers… I know this cuz I totally idolized her. But what is it with her lately? I’ve noticed it too, seems just kinda like she’s distancing herself from all that and going middle-of-the-road.

      • Guess she has her own point of view and does not feel obligated to have homocentric views of every cause. Many gays are conservatives who get alienated and put down by those whom dare to have a different opinion. Meanwhile, others tow their party line for acceptance and financial benefits. Kudos to Whoopi for being independent contrasting mainstream gay, black and left wing POV… and risking alienation and being called a sell-out.

        • so… you’re sayin’ hasselbeck IS gay, then, right?? i knew she complained way too much…

          • Actual my comment was regarding Whoopi whom has the balls to be hetero-ideological instead of having to do what is PC. As far as that other lady beth is concerned. Who cares if she’s gay for whatever reason she has. Why is it such a defining term for you. Why do you have a problems with gays… They have a right to do what they want, and have whatever ideology they want. LIVE AND LET LIVE.

            peace Out

          • you, sir, are a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a tortilla wrapped in a chinchilla, casting a line for fishies out of your depth. *ruffles your fuzzy green hair*

            my problem with the gays is that they gayed me up and then I turned around and gayed someone else up (bc that’s how it works to stay in the club) and I never got my damned toaster oven! >:[

          • Guess you have to stick with the crowds ideology or do what ya got to to be accepted.
            But if you didn’t get the toaster oven, I’d bump someone or somewhere else to get it.
            -BTW Thanks for the appetizer, I’m gonna go eat me a chinchilla.

        • Whoopi thinks drugging and vaginally & anally raping a 13-year-old girl while she cries, says “no” and asks repeatedly for her asthma medication isn’t “rape-rape”. I’ll keep my kudos, thanks.

          • Your a bright one simplifying the argument to an ad hominem attack which has nothing to do with this topic. Using that logic noone’s word means anything.

            -I’d venture to say the only thing that makes the Polanski issue offensive to you is the hetero nature of it and you have no identity to defend in the issue, and of course a tinge of jealousy.

  4. Ok..I’ve never done this before, but I will give it a try..I think this is how it goes..Dear God..Please..PLEASE..make Elisabeth Hasselbeck shut up….phew..hope that works…

    • I’ll “Amen, Sister!” that… or I’ll change it a bit…

      “Dear Jesus,

      Elizabeth Hasselbeck loves you a whole lot and tells bunches of people that she does. She also says totally batsh*t crazy stuff that is weird and hateful. I’m just thinking, that’s probably not great for your reputation.
      If you could bless Elizabeth with the gift of speaking in tongues, it would be much appreciated, because I’d really like to hear no coherent English words from her mouth anymore.

      Kthx,
      Cowgirlumhum

  5. I guess if The View is supposed to capture different points of view across the United States, then Elizabeth Hasslebeck is filling the quota for “ignorant.”

    A quick Wikipedia search reveals she was captain of the softball team at Boston College. My question is how the hell did she coexist among all the softball lesbians?

    • “I guess if The View is supposed to capture different points of view across the United States, then Elizabeth Hasslebeck is filling the quota for “ignorant.””

      Tweet that, It should be the quote of the week.
      I couldn’t have said it better myself.

    • Maybe Hasselbeck is the girl equivalent of a Senator… is there a “rent-a-girl” website? Because we should see if she’s a patron…

  6. I said this on Jezebel, but what the hell.

    What would you guys give to tie her down and make her watch The L Word or *gasp* hang out with a real lesbian? Granted I don’t know what horrible thing that lesbian would have had to do to deserve it but it’s worth a shot.

    Also, it really pisses me off that this kind of stuff is STILL on tv. For as many of us there are complaining about Elizabeth Hasselbeck there are just as many, if not more, people at home quietly agreeing with her.

    • IKR. But also, it’s so weird, because she has! For a while, Ro & Kelli did have Elisabeth over from time to time, and they had worked out their differences to some degree. When they fought on what turned out to be Rosie’s last day, and Rosie mentioned that she’d had Elisabeth over to her house with her family, she was being totally honest. And you know, Rosie is a strong personality that turns some people off, but Kelli is super down-to-earth and charismatic so like Elisabeth hasn’t lived in a cave. Maybe she’s had memory loss. or maybe that’s what makes her so good for TV — that she never changes, and can always be depended on to re-play the same broken record.

      • Jeeze I didn’t even think about that. I guess for all we know about the way stuff bounces around Hasselback’s brain she was talking about Rosie. Like “Oh yea! I knew that Rosie person for a while. I’m sure that she just can’t get a man either!”

        I think you’re right about how some people just never change *sigh*.

  7. Oh dear. They are talking about me. They are talking about me on The View and I want to die because they are all so wrong and for the love of Mike is THIS what people THINK OF ME???

    I am one of these “late in life” lesbians. I don’t know what’s more…for lack of a better word flabbergasting: that my people are a topic on The View or that Hasselbeck is up there with her hand gestures and her snippy voice and her whole vibe offering all of America insight into what it’s like to be the exact opposite of everything that she is. Just wow.

    • I feel like her feelings are just so ignorant and so wrong and it’s quite scary that many people at home, including unfortunately also the kids of some of the “later-in-life lesbians” hear these messages. Also like, god, everybody’s coming out more now. The statistics are staggering. All age groups are reporting huge increases. So, wtf Elisabeth i h8 her.

    • **Hasselbeck….but really why am I even bothering to correct her name? P.S. I think they should just make her ride the tea cups at D-land for a long, long, long time.

      • Wow, thanks for posting this article! As a 30-yo in my first relationship with a women, it was like reading about myself. (Though I’ve never been married and have no kids.) I like that they referenced Lisa Diamond’s work; I bought her book “Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire” right after I started dating my gf and it really helped me sort through and understand what I was going through.

    • Also, because of her, I don’t like people who spell Elizabeth with an “s.” LOL. Sorry other EliSabeths.

  8. One thing that bothered me about EH’s final comment (around 1:30) is that she says, “We’ve done studies…blablabla.” And I can’t help but thing 1) The moment someone is backed into a corner by a reasonable, opposing argument, all they want to do is back his/her argument up and saying there’s a “study” floating around out there — OMG sounds so *brainy*! 2) Who’s the “we(‘ve)” she’s refering to? Now, I went back and listened a few times to try to rule out that she said “they’ve” or “there are” or “beeve,” but she doesn’t say those things. She says “we’ve” which not only causes me to question how deep her homophobia runs (“We” vs. “Them”), but also begs me to believe that Elisabeth Hasselback has partaken in some sort of group research project titled “Old Lesbians: Real or Lonely Ex-Wives?” Not gonna happen, miss. Shut your stupid, stupid mouth.

      • Ha, thanks. I actually was going to type “weave” but hit the “B” and decided “beeve” was definitely worth it, instead.

  9. “It’s not just holding hands and walking through tulips.”

    DAMN STRAIGHT, GIRL. IT IS MAD, MAD DRAMA. PREPARE FOR TEARS, AND HORMONES, AND SLEEPING WITH FRIENDS. MOST OF YOUR FRIENDS.

    On a more serious note, when I came out to my mom, she said “Oh, I sometimes think maybe when your father finalizes the divorce I’ll find some woman. That might be something worth trying. We could garden together, and she wouldn’t always be out in the garage working on her convertible.”

    Naw Mom, she’d be working on her Harley!

  10. Wow. I don’t have TV, so I’ve never really seen The View (um, except for the clips on YouTube of when the dudes from Star Trek TNG were guests…), but my did Ms. Hasselbeck and that clip royally piss me off. Homophobia + bisexual invisibility (“more and more women choosing same-sex partners” does not necessarily equal “late-blooming lesbians”) + age-old sexism (“women don’t really want sex, they all just want ‘companionship'”) = bad times.

    My number one feeling about/to Ms. Hasselbeck: eff you.

  11. remember when she was marooned in the outback? let’s do that again. except fo’ real

  12. With this kind of gross generalization going on, one could assume that after years of enjoying whiskey and nachos I would wake up one morning and because I ran out of whiskey and nachos I would decide to drink water and eat a banana instead.

    One massive run on sentence but this kind of thinking makes my head hurt. Off to get some whiskey and nachos.

  13. In my version of reality, Whoopie sets her up just to laugh at how dumb she is. That – or one day Whoopie’s gonna WHOOP her upside the head off camera. (or better, on camera)

    I agree with lkk239 – send her back to the bush.

  14. In regards to late in life lesbians, no one is bothering to distinguish between women who say their sexuality changed and women who say they knew they were gay but were in denial for awhile. I don’t think it’s one of the other…both probably happen.

    And there probably are some people who are bisexual to a degree, but don’t know it until they meet someone of the same sex they’re really attracted to.

    As someone who’s been out for 17 years, in my experience, no one knows what the hell they are talking about. There are so many variables I can only conclude that sexuality and gender are unique to the person. After that it’s just generalizations and social grouping.

    I’m just a plain old dyke, and there seems to be no shortage of lesbians telling me how unusual I am. I’m like a mythical stereotype.

  15. Hmm Well I think GrrrlRomeo is a voice of reason here.

    I think it is really easy to get a hate on for Hasselbeck. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why, but I don’t think that it is productive to just disregard her as ignorant. I think a lot of people think they way she does, and even lots of gay people hold these misconceptions, and they are not all ignorant, stupid, a-hole buffoons. I think she is wrong, yes, and I think Joy particularly made that clear, however, I would like to point out that the conversation has been misquoted here a little bit. Hasselbeck actually quipped, “Thanks for educating me”, – quite sarcastically – AFTER Joy said, “there are things they do sexually”, not after they “wanted to do it their entire lives “but were just trapped in a system that said Get Married.”

    My point is that as GrrrlRomeo pointed out, there is no one way of being or becoming, and yes it is frustrating for us to hear Hasselbeck spew this jibberish, but the at least it is being spewed, -I think – in a somewhat productive forum where her views can be challenged and responded to. Because we know, that around tables like this all over the country, women with the same views are having this conversation without a voice of reason, so we perhaps should be grateful that Hasselbeck is giving voice to the ideas that so many people hold so that she can be challenged in public where we have a chance to discuss, repudiate, challenge, and call out what we believe to be incorrect or hurtful assumptions.

    Just a thought.

  16. We could do a Survivor: Lesbianism and put 16 lesbians on an island with her to educate her in our ways. Of course, they only ones that would really suffer would be the lesbians.

  17. It’s hard to fathom that someone would actually believe that women coming out later in life are doing so because there aren’t enough men their age. I’m sorry, but could she really be that clueless?

    Susan Gabriel
    author of Seeking Sara Summers
    (a novel about falling in love with your best friend)

  18. Hasselbeck seemed there for a while like she might actually be having a tiny moment of tolerance for the gays, but that moment’s long past.

    You know what she reminds me of, are those mega-sweet, cute, perfect church-goin’ conservative girls who are never seen without makeup or the designer handbag in hand, and can’t say “vagina” out loud because it’s a dirty bird. Then you walk in on them playing a round of bend over, bad girl together in the chapel after school, coked up into the stratosphere.

    Not that that’s happened to me or anything.

  19. What shocked me more is the way the audience applauded Hasselbeck after what she says. NONE cheered when Joy stood up to her. There is something wrong there.

    I would ask Hasselbeck if (for whatever reason) she found herself divorced at 50, would she ever feel so lonely and in of companionship that she would develop a taste for pussy.
    (Sorry for being crude, but this really pissed me off).

    I would love to hear from all the gay friends that she has what their opinion of this is.

  20. I love the attitude of Joy here, “For real? Do you even listen to yourself speak?”

    To me Hasselbeck is just so ridiculous that I would never even think to take her seriously. It breaks my heart that the audience took her side, but I guess that’s the easy answer that most people watching daytime television are looking for. Wouldn’t it be nice if they could explain away gay as “Oh, they’ve just run out of men. I mean its understandable, it must be lonely.” wtf. We’re still in 1950.

  21. “This is Hollywood, everybody’s gay once in awhile”. Wasn’t this an L-word episode? What is Television, if not a way to stir controversy, and expose the greater American ignorance quotient?

  22. wait wait wait……

    whoopi defended mel gibson????

    Also, with that logic, does this mean that Cougars are now forcing 55 year old male homophobes to bend over??

    However, I do commend Elizabeth. Despite being a total ignorant bird, she actually tries to come up with some logical, albeit highly superficial, explanation for this sudden rise of Jill & Nikki gayness instead of blaming it on liberal media and/or the devil (same thing). If I grew up in an uber patriarchal and male centered world that only acknowledged the male’s perspective I would assume that lesbianism had to do with a woman’s inability to find the right man, or her daddy issues, or not having any other option because all the men are gone too. Women don’t make choices. Or have feelings. Or inner-worlds or anything like that.

    But to be honest for some reason I do find Joy’s response a little unsettling as well….something about the black & white, “you’ve either always been gay or not gay your whole life” argument rubs me the wrong way…I think because it totally oversimplifies and removes the utterly liquid and continuous process that is identity formation…..but then again the statistics themselves are also kind of weird…Like, how was this research done? Are they comparing coming out ages? Like more women between the ages of 35-60 are coming out than they are in the group of 18-34?? Or was it like within the age group of 35-60….most women are gay? Or did the census include a question that asked you if you were gay and then they compared the ages and realized the majority of these women are older? Or did they poll ex-married women and asked them if they were gay and the majority of them said yes??? Or was it older gay women and asked them if the majority of them had ever been married and they said yes?? Is that really a new phenomenon?

    Sorry for that long rant of pondering, I’m just starting to find more problems with this whole thing.

    And for kicks,
    http://www.hulu.com/watch/134721/saturday-night-live-whoopi-goldberg

  23. Hasselbeck will say anything that gets her more attention. College doesn’t cure ignorance and arrogance. Why she’s just an authority on everything, isn’t she? How can people be such morons and not recognize it??? The View is now a joke and very boring.

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