“Brandon asks Mike why Stef wasn’t wearing a vest. Geez Brandon! Not all lesbians wear vests! But then I realize he means “bulletproof vest” and let this slide.”

The Fosters and all their friends and lovers go to the hospital. The least dramatic thing that happens is Jesús getting his head drilled open.

“Steph is wearing a worn out t-shirt and a pair of plaid pajama pants which is very similar to what I wore to drop off my kids at school this morning. #lesbianmomuniform.”

With the winter portion of the fifth season firmly behind us, and only a three-episode special summer “goodbye” in our future, I can say confidently that The Fosters is coming back full circle. They have returned their focus to the family, and most importantly, to the best moms on television.

In which there is a party, halibut, and a knock at the door.

Can we talk about Season 2 of The Fosters? Because I feel like we need to talk about it.

Lena teaches Stef to twerk, says the phrase “heteronormative thinking,” continues to be flawless.

Monty apologizes to Stef and Lena about the Great Kissing Debacle of 2015, so Stef decides to let her live.

Stef and Lena take down the pillow wall, get naked … and talk about their kids.

Stef almost Stefs-up Christmas, but Lena swoops in to save the day.

Man, they really went all in on making this show a murder-mystery, huh?

Monty tells Lena she didn’t prey on a female student, while the female student continues to insist that she did.

Remember all the hope I had for Brandon? My hope is Humpty Dumpty and all the kings horses and all the kings lesbians will never put my hope for this character back together again.

“Mariana sits at a table alone and takes her fancy plastic lunch container out of dumb paper bag. Why doesn’t she have a reusable lunch bag? What kind of family are these lesbians running?”

“When they pry themselves apart, Lexi tells Jesus that her parents took her computer and phone and locked her away in Cookie Monster’s tower where she has to spin gold.”

A positive and romantic sex scene for a trans teen! Plus, don’t miss all our other TV coverage from the week.

Jude and Connor come out, and Monty finally stops keeping her lips to herself.

Stef and Lena agree to let Callie go, and Rosie’s got a brand new house.

The Fosters is back! You’re excited. Let’s talk about it.

“That’s right — the characters on this show abusing their power has become so commonplace that I am now desensitized and can only think of denim.”