“Brandon asks Mike why Stef wasn’t wearing a vest. Geez Brandon! Not all lesbians wear vests! But then I realize he means “bulletproof vest” and let this slide.”

The Fosters and all their friends and lovers go to the hospital. The least dramatic thing that happens is Jesús getting his head drilled open.

This makes no sense. You would hand out a letter to each person as they arrive, starting with the first. Brandon arrived last which means he should have been left with the last “S.” YOU CANNOT JUST HAND OUT LETTERS RANDOMLY!

“Steph is wearing a worn out t-shirt and a pair of plaid pajama pants which is very similar to what I wore to drop off my kids at school this morning. #lesbianmomuniform.”

With the winter portion of the fifth season firmly behind us, and only a three-episode special summer “goodbye” in our future, I can say confidently that The Fosters is coming back full circle. They have returned their focus to the family, and most importantly, to the best moms on television.

In which there is a party, halibut, and a knock at the door.

Stef and Lena take down the pillow wall, get naked … and talk about their kids.

Monty apologizes to Stef and Lena about the Great Kissing Debacle of 2015, so Stef decides to let her live.

The Fosters is back! You’re excited. Let’s talk about it.

Can we talk about Season 2 of The Fosters? Because I feel like we need to talk about it.

Jude and Connor come out, and Monty finally stops keeping her lips to herself.

Stef almost Stefs-up Christmas, but Lena swoops in to save the day.

Stef and Lena celebrate the fourth year of their first year anniversary.

Stef had her surgery and she’s doing just fine!

Stef and Lena go skinny dipping and follow it up with a little bit of scissoring.

The kids all leave the house for one night, so Stef and Lena get down to the serious business of drinking wine and scissoring.

“When they pry themselves apart, Lexi tells Jesus that her parents took her computer and phone and locked her away in Cookie Monster’s tower where she has to spin gold.”

Man, they really went all in on making this show a murder-mystery, huh?

It’s the season three finale and Stef’s breast cancer didn’t kill her at all! Not even a little bit!

In one of the best-ever episodes of The Fosters, Stef conquers her fear of the word “butch” and learns to love her whole self.