This month is all about love as a learning process. We begin the month with Sun and Venus (our sense of self, and how we attract love) in Gemini–sign of curiosity, humor, and investigation. Gemini love reminds us that the people that we love ought to fascinate us, and crack us up–not because they’re particularly funnier than anyone else, but because we find in them that combination of the familiar and the mysterious that prompts laughter. Why is this strange creature the way they are? What are they going to do next? For Gemini, love is a good book, full of surprises, that you don’t want to put down.
With this Gemini flavor, we want to know more about our lovers, ourselves, and what the hell we’re all doing with each other. Why do the crinkles around her eyes drive you crazy? Why does she turn to you for help and then resent you when you try to help? What gender roles are you trying on together? Do they feel right, or is something still wonky? How have you defined your relationship? Do you really know what that means, or are you making it up as you go along? Do your actions match your words?
Go ahead and probe a little deeper. Mars (planet of passion and conflict) will be retrograde in Scorpio (sign of healing old wounds) until the end of the month, so now is the perfect time to let a playful, lighthearted conversation bring you to more serious discussions that get to the heart of what’s real between you–as long as you don’t spring that conversation as a trap! With Mars in Scorpio, our defenses can heightened. Stay attuned to the charming and curious energy of Gemini and you’ll be able to work with this aspect to solve old relationship patterns without actively re-living all the old pains you and your lover have caused each other.
Another big event on the 17th is the second exact square between Saturn and Neptune–the planets of harsh reality (Saturn) and otherworldly bliss (Neptune). This square is a major theme of the year, bringing up our need to redefine our dreams, to mourn the dreams that have died, and to build up new visions. Through the lens of queer love, Saturn-Neptune connections teach us how to let go of tradition, how to treat collective love as seriously as we take normative couplehood, and to let our relationships become vessels through which we try to heal the world. There are a few ways we can approach this energy, though, and they aren’t all easy. We can get paranoid and start doubting that anything we care about is real or will last (Saturn wins and Neptune loses). We can fling ourselves recklessly into unwise romances, trusting that the highs of dangerous love (or lust) will be enough to see us through (Neptune wins, Saturn loses). Or, we can recognize that we’re always walking a tightrope between hope and fear; we know what can wrong, and we know how beautiful it can be when we get it right. In new and ongoing relationships, this square asks us to integrate our sense of what’s real and what’s possible, without being too ruled by fear or longing (Neptune and Saturn tie, you win).
The astro-literate can read their Moon and Venus signs first, followed by Sun and Ascendant. Take what works for you, and don’t get too bent out of shape by what doesn’t resonate! And if you’ve been meaning to sign up for Astrology 101 before the earlybird price ends, that deadline has been extended to June 15th!
As David Bowie sang, “I never thought I’d need so many people.” You’ll benefit from widening your circle of confidantes, acquaintances, and paramours this month. If you’re looking for more intimacy, this is a great time to start something. Your ability to sparkle in conversation is at its height, and you’re open to new experiences. In existing relationships, this can spark some beautiful reconnections. Where there’s tension you’re this month is between your desire for expansive growth and your ability to deeply merge with people you love. Don’t get trapped in love jail when there are experiences you need to have out in the world! Don’t be afraid to insist on freedom for yourself and your partner! Find the ways in which you can let go of old relationship patterns where you lose yourself, while embracing intimacy as a part of freedom, rather than something that holds you back. You’ll be surprised by how secure you both will feel if you stop holding on so tightly.
This can be a month of absolute lusciousness. Crushed berries dripping down your chin, etcetera. If you don’t have a sweetheart to lovingly feed you, do it yourself. Gaze skywards at clouds massed up in erotic clumpings across the horizon. See how much pleasure and beauty you can absorb. Share it with whoever you trust to appreciate it as much as you do. Tensions might arise right now about sex, and how your sexual self helps you or prevents you from forming community. Are anxieties about your sex holding you back from relationships you want, or from a sense of belonging? Do you feel inexperienced, undesirable, or like you’ll never quite be butch enough, cis-passing enough, or kinky enough to swim with the queer salmon to the spawning grounds? Is your own complicated relationship to desire holding your back from feeling kinship with a larger world? Take a few risks in both arenas this month–you’re strong enough to test the waters. Can you integrate your need for losing-yourself-through-bliss with your need to define yourself in a larger group?
This is your time, sweetie! And for your birthday month, you’ve got Venus keeping you company, promising a year when your charm is turned up to eleven, and relationships flow more easily. Expect an extra dose of extroverted energy right now, but remember not to spread yourself too thin. This month is essentially about falling back in love with yourself. Other people can be part of this process, but don’t get too distracted by what they think you are or want you to be. Expect some tension this month between the ways you do partnership and your ambition to become a huge force in the world. It might feel like an either/or scenario, but don’t fall for that binary! The two can feed and support each other, if you get creative about integrating your commitments to the ones you love with your burning desire to forge a bright path for yourself with your talents and voice. When in doubt, you’re allowed to be a little selfish this month.
Your empathic feelers are especially strong right now, and you’re getting major insights from everything you touch. Trust your intuition, and use your healing powers wisely (as in, don’t let the bleeding hearts of the world drain your own powerful heart). Let silence and reflection reign, as much as you can in this highly verbal month! You may be happiest taking some space away from relationships that need a lot of your attention, or that seem to involve endless drama. Even so, you might feel torn between a sense of responsibility to others and your own fiery desire for growth through adventure. Remember that you are vast, that you contain multitudes–that your role in life is not just a supporting role, but to explore the limits of your own expansive nature. Who’s most inspiring to you right now? How can you balance your need to tend to yourself, to recover, to rehabilitate–and to throw yourself into the dance? And if you’re really ambitious, how can you combine your love of nurturing others with your need for adventure?
Your people are everything to you right now. Go to the dance party, the collective meeting, the potluck, the work-party, the gaycation. Let them remind you of your many selves, and your many homes. Each friend holds a piece of you that is unique; the more you circulate, the larger a view you’ll have on your place in the world. This is especially important right now, as you’re recovering from a killer month. You may be indulging a strong escapist streak in your fantasies right now, especially if they feature ecstatic sexual escapades, or the dream of dying and getting to begin again as someone new. Your self-confidence may be shaken, but you don’t need to completely self-destruct. Let yourself be a phoenix. Let sex reawaken you, even if it’s just in your mind. Watch out for bringing too much longing to sex with other people, though–no one can fill up your own sense of power and beauty for you. Take your need for validation seriously, and offer it unconditionally to your own heart.
This month, you get to be who you think you are. What’s the best version of yourself you can imagine? All your bundled energies are ready to spring, and you may enjoy an unusual sense of momentum after a few months of feeling lost, trapped, or floating. Bear in mind, though, that you may still feel caught between your family (what they need from you, the way they’ve shaped you) and your dreams of partnership. Are you choosing partners that play out your family patterns? Are you using romance to escape from your past? Are your ties to lovers and family helping you learn and grow? Who in your life is deeply supporting the best version of yourself? These are your questions right now, Virgo. Set about yourself with finding the answers, but don’t lose sight of the power you have right now: if an answer isn’t immediate, go about your business and it will become clear in time.
Your dream date this month would take you far away from your daily grind, and not ask you too many questions about how you’re feeling and what you need. Perhaps you could show your gratitude by rubbing their shoulders or applying a poultice to their sore muscles. Any act of care that doesn’t require you to hold a lot of emotional space, or listen to their hopes and fears. It’s important that your dreams this month keep you grounded and passionate, rather than scattered in ideas and abstractions about love. It may be hard to turn down the volume on all the questions and theories that zip about and between you and your lover right now, but imagine that you have the luxury to take your time and choose the right words slowly and carefully. Meanwhile, let the silence be a form of intimacy.
You are ready. You may not think you are, but you’ve already begun. Something big has taken root in your heart and your body, and it’s shaking you out of your comfortable routine. Your dreams are getting steamy. A part of you is ready to stake it all, to gamble big. It may feel absolutely terrifying, but also unbearably important, to confess yourself to the one you’re fixated on, to be witnessed, to risk being loved. It is a big risk for you; don’t underestimate how precarious your own sense of self-worth can be. Spend some time this month shoring up your confidence and remembering how fabulous you are–don’t let the fear of rejection or loss block you from fully experiencing what’s come into your life right now. If you’re reading this and wondering what I’m talking about, just wait a little longer–or pay attention to something you’ve convinced yourself wasn’t going to happen. You’re ready for love to open you up and redefine you–but not to break you, trip you up, or betray you. Pay attention to the differences, and hold out for what you really need!
Believe it or not, you’re learning to love being in it for the long haul. Who do you feel most committed to right now? How have you had to change to be able to make that commitment? Do you still feel a little off balance from the changes of the last year, a little unsure of who you are? In the words of a brilliant friend, how does it feel to be taking responsibility for your own freedom? Where there is tension right now is between your core sense of self (what are you doing with your life, why are you choosing the relationships you’ve chosen, who are you becoming through these choices?) and the longing to root down into a forever home–to be done making that decision again and again. You are someone who delights in motion, and a part of you will always need to start over fresh as someone else in a new life. Right now, though, what joys can you find in staying the course–with a person, in a home, or in a consistent sense of yourself?
There’s a fine line between helping your loved ones grow and learn, on the one hand, and being a big ol’ codependent control freak. I know how satisfying it feels to solve relationship problems–you’re good at it! They need solving! We could all be doing so much better! But you must also remember that it’s not your responsibility to fix the people you love. It’s okay not to be in control. Let me say that again, honey: it’s okay not to be in control. Nothing will collapse. Or rather, whatever might collapse may be better for it in the long run. Instead of rushing in to solve problems this month, pay attention to how you communicate. Are you using humor to mask disappointment? Are you being critical when you’re trying to be helpful? How much do you trust the people you love? How much are you protecting your heart by expecting the worst? And what are you missing out on, if you’ve already decided what is and isn’t possible?
Imagine identifying all your life as someone who can’t sing very well, and suddenly learning that if you relax and choose the right songs, you can sing so well that people pester you to lead their bands and record with them. Now swap “sing” for “effortlessly charm, woo, and flirt with people in a way that expresses your authentic nature and makes people warm up to you immediately” and you’ll have a sense of what might be possible for you this month. If not romance, than at least self-expression and creativity will flow much more easily right now–and chances are people will want to pay attention to what you’re doing. Where there may be tension this month is in your fears about losing your dreams–have you become cynical? Have you lost hope in your community, in activism, in progress?–and in your desire for stability and abundance. Are you choosing paths that take you toward comfort and away from your values? If so, how can you carefully, consciously shift course?
Home hasn’t always been the easiest place for you, but this month it’s where you’ll be happiest–especially if you extend some invitations to people who will enliven your space and let you play the gracious host without bothering to put on shoes, a bra, or maybe even pants. We’re talking getting real cozy. If you live with a sweetheart, plan a few dates at home this month–and I don’t mean “we both end up here, and we’re sweet on each other, so this is a date.” Be intentional about how you share your space by drawing actual divisions in the home: this is my time alone, this is my space that I am now inviting you into. Notice what boundaries you need to want to welcome someone in. Where you might feel tension right now is between anxieties about worldly success (do you want it? Do you deserve it? Would you lose yourself through it?) and the person you’d most like to become (but maybe never can). What dream of yourself are you wishing was true? How does this fantasy-you make it harder to see your role in the world more clearly? How much of this can you figure out while cuddled up with your boo watching Netflix? Now is the time to find out.