Rihanna’s Lesbosexy “Te Amo” Video Will F*cking Tease You, You’ll Like It

This week has been one of those weeks where we kept throwing links into a post waiting for one of them to become important and then they don’t. Right? Has this week been weird, or have we just been mixing too much ambien and adderall? You never can tell.

RIHANNA:

The international version of Rihanna’s Te Amo video is very very homosexy. Very. Before we even get into it, let’s just throw it out there that Digital Spy has described the song as such:

“After the rather explicit ‘Rude Boy’ campaign, Rihanna’s taking a well-deserved break from titillating the blokes here – only to find herself the object of another lady’s affections. One of her Rated R LP’s less menacing moments, ‘Te Amo’ finds La Fenty grappling with her sexuality over some irresistible, latin-infused Stargate beats.”

And our BFF Lezbehonest had this to say about the song in her post amazingly titled “New Photo of Rihanna on the Scene for her Lesbian Song “Te Amo” and Yes Lesbians its a LESBIAN SONG”

So Rihanna filmed her video for her song “Te Amo”, this has got to be the gayest song ever, especially since she openly says “she” in almost every sentence and its something all of us lesbians can relate too, We wonder if she’s talking about Melissa, who are we kidding we know this  song is for Melissa.

THERE YOU HAVE IT. FACT.

NY Mag’s Vulture says:

The European video for “Te Amo” has surfaced, and it’s an entirely different beast than the North American video for the same song, which has been kicking around since last year. Whereas American audiences got to watch Rihanna dance provocatively, if a bit robotically, in black and white, Europeans get to watch her nuzzle up to Laetitia Casta in front of a roaring fire in a really big castle. (Another reminder that Lady Gaga did not invent the use of fire or bisexuality in her music videos.) We will leave it to you to decide which continent got the better deal.

(@vulture)

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KRISTEN STEWART:

Kristen Stewart: “If I could go to work every day and not have to be followed around by f**king fifteen gangsters trying to take my picture, willing to do anything for one… It’s not normal. It’s funny how in America fame is placed so f**king high — above wealth, above happiness, above everything. It’s so not true. And I knew that before [I was famous]. It was so obvious to me. I don’t know how people can’t see that from an outsider’s perspective. My perspective is the same: it’s exactly what I thought it would be.”

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THE MUPPETS:

Sam The Eagle does American Woman, it’s awesome, because the Muppets are awesome.

THE REAL GIRL’S GUIDE TO EVERYTHING ELSE:

NPR does a story on “The Real Girl’s Guide to Everything Else: Move Over Sex and the City, Hello “Real Girls”:

Ms. NIKKI BROWN (Actor): (As Vanna) So, kind of like “Sex and the City” for brown girls.
Ms. REENA DUTT (Actor): (As Sydney) Oh, women of color unite and shop.

Also:

But whats exciting about “The Real Girls Guide to Everything Else” is that we have a gay lead, and that it’s not necessarily about her being gay. It’s just part of who she is, and that she’s now thrown into a situation where she has to experience something different. So it’s both the LGBT community is represented, as well as a lot of different ethnicities. And that to me was really exciting.

PAMBITION!

Pam’s abandonment of her art career is indicative of The Office’s checkered history regarding women, ambition, and positions of power. (@bitch blogs)

LAMBDA LITERARY AWARDS:

The Lambda Literary Awards were held Thursday night in NYC and we’re pleased as punch to congratulate Rhiannon Argo for winning in the category of Lesbian Debut Fiction for her book, The Creamsickle! There were other winners and we’re also very excited for them, too. Yay books! We told you about all these books a while ago. Do you remember? Also Portland Queer: Tales of the Rose City won for Best LGBT Anthology (featuring a story by Gabrielle Rivera our new favorite person). .

SEX AND THE CITY 2:

Hands down totes the best review of SATC2 you’ll ever read is at The Stranger: Burkas and Birkinis. “It is 146 minutes long […] an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls.” (@thestranger)

SUMMER JAM:

Songs of the Summer: The Top 6. (@nymag)

AMERICAN IDOL:

Adam Lambert still didn’t win. Somebody named Lee DeWyze did, though.(@nytimes) You’re probs most likely to enjoy The Awl’s Behind-the-Scenes audience perspective: “How does this transfer to the screen with such control? There are a few rough moments—closeups on empty chairs instead of the judges plaintive faces, some notes gone terribly flat—but that this is made into a TV show, this is a feat. The mechanical transfer of anxious pandemonium into precise minutes of television, compelling television at that, is astounding.” (@theawl)

CHELY WRIGHT:

Our new favorite out country star continues to be a classy lady at the GLSEN RESPECT awards in NYC, her first official appearance at an LGBT. OurSceneTV caught up with her and has some video of her lookin’ pretty and talking about being gay, check it out! (@ourscenetv)

LESBIAN VAMPIRES:

Someone over at Geekosystem is pleasantly surprised to discover that Lesbian Vampire Killers is significantly more enjoyable than Twilight, and also based in a fine literary tradition of lesbian vampire action: “Dracula was actually preceded and inspired by the work Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, which came out in 1872. This novel, the real first vampire novel (though still not the first piece of vampire fiction), tells the story of a lesbian vampire who seduces a young girl and manipulates her family.” We’re on to you, KStew. (@geekosystem)

GAGA:

Lady Gaga is being tested for lupus after exhaustion and heart palpitations continue to plague her on the Monster Ball tour. In a recent interview with the Times of London, Gaga admits that the potentially terminal illness runs in her family, but did not reveal her test results. “Yes, I have been tested. But I don’t want anyone to be worried. I have heart palpitations but it’s OK. It’s just from fatigue and other things,” the 24-year old singer said. Gaga also reassured us that she’s “taking care of herself” and doesn’t “want her fans to worry about her.” (@rttnews)

SOUND STRIKE:

Zack de la Rocha, lead singer of Rage Against The Machine, has enlisted a bunch of other musicians to join him in a Sound Strike boycotting the state of Arizona for its racist laws. So far Cypress Hill, Juanes, Conor Oberst, Los Tigres del Norte, Rage Against the Machine, Cafe Tacvba, Kanye West, Joe Satriani, Serj Tankian, Rise Against, Ozomatli, Sabertooth Tiger, Massive Attack, One Day as a Lion, Street Sweeper Social Club, Spank Rock, Sonic Youth and Tenacious D, and Calle 13 have all signed on. (@ontd)

Rachel is Autostraddle's Managing Editor and the editor who presides over news & politics coverage. Originally from Boston, MA, Rachel now lives in the Midwest. Topics dear to her heart include bisexuality, The X-Files and tacos. Her favorite Ciara video is probably "Ride," but if you're only going to watch one, she recommends "Like A Boy." You can follow her on twitter and instagram.

Rachel has written 1079 articles for us.

50 Comments

  1. Omg Rihanna… There are days when I’m very very happy the internet exists. This is one of those days!
    As an American I feel very cheated that I didn’t get to see the european version of “Te Amo” until now. It is just so unfair! I’ll go back and watch the video a few times to feel better. 🙂

  2. I know I am going to be the only one but I didn;t not like the Rhianna video. Just wasn;t working for me.
    I am not saying Gaga invent using fire in a video but she is the only one I have seen set someone on fire with a pyro tech bra gun. Just Saying…

  3. Just wanna make it clear that I’m straight, I just clicked on this link because I googled Rihanna. Anyway, am I the only person who thinks her latest video is just another case of “sell as much sex as you can” just like all her videos as of late? I know most female artists these days use their sex appeal to get ahead, this is hardly a little known fact, but with Rihanna it always looks way too f*cking obvious, like she’s trying too hard. This video wasn’t really meant to appease to the LGBT community so much as it another marketing ploy. Kind of like “I Kissed A Girl”, using the fantasy of two women together to get the male fanbase all hot and bothered. And besides, Rihanna has almost zero chemisty with Laetitia Casta. She’s so robotic, so passionless, I don’t know how anyone could get turned on by her. Laetitia is the only reason to watch this video.

    • ITA!! I am straight too and its not the gayness of this video because I am a regular reader of Autostraddle, gay is okay! I just agree with what you said its like a ploy and its tired. In her defense though, unlike some people who just do it for the hell of it, a least it has something to do with the song.

    • from my perspective as a big ol’ queer, the difference between “te amo” and “i kissed a girl” is that katy perry’s lyrics are blatantly exploitive and (to my mind) anti-gay, while rihanna’s aren’t. so yeah, they might both be using sex to appeal to the male gaze or what have you, but one of them is doing it in an inflammatory way and the other isn’t.

      also tl;dr, rihanna is fab, etc

    • Yeah. I listened to the song and the first time she used female pronouns I was surprised. Because I figured that maybe she was going to pull a Christina and getting sexy with women whilst not singing about them directly at all.

      But, to be honest, the song actually (while definitely engineered to sell) seems to be kind of grappling with some kind of real feeling (like “oh wow I think she said she loved me, now what do I do?”) unlike Katy Perry, who just used “I kissed a girl” for shock value and constantly qualified what she did in the song by adding that “it’s no big deal” and that she had a boyfriend, etc. And as rok pointed out above me, there are no boys or men mentioned in this song. It’s just her grappling with her feelings.

      Is it the best song ever? Probs not. Could it be possible that it’s all a ploy to sell the song with sexual images? Quite possibly. But it doesn’t really seem exploitative. And it was kind of hot. So I’m okay with it.

      (Though, can I just say, I really don’t get the whole writhing on the floor thing? All kinds of pop singers do it in their videos… they’re always rolling around on the floor, or a bed, or whatever. I think it looks ridiculous, not sexy. Just sayin’.)

      • agree on all counts. although i should maybe preface this by saying i love rihanna really fucking hard.

        mostly i was impressed by the fact that this song actually takes place in a universe where women have genuine homosexy feelings, even if those women aren’t rihanna. like there is an understanding that women really do have feelings for one another, that is a thing that happens. with katy perry it’s like that doesn’t even exist, like the only reason girls make out with other girls is to titillate their boyfriends. that’s probably the foremost of the 10,000 terrible things about that song.

        at the same time though i definitely do not get the writhing, like if i were inside a castle with a sexy lady we would not stand on opposite sides of the room and writhe at each other, that is weird.

        • Yes. Even if the speaker in the song isn’t quite sure what to do with the homosexy feelings that she is interacting with, she is acknowledging that they exist.

          If this is a marketing tactic*, I don’t much care, because 1. It’s a catchy song and 2. It gives visiblity. As Riese said a few posts above, at least they’re selling the kind of sex I like.

          Btw, I find it super amusing that various lyric sites for this song are filled with comments about “I dont gett it why is she singin as a guy?!?!?! [sic].” Because guys are totally the only ones who occasionally want to writhe around in castles with women.

          *Everything we consume, on some level or other, it tied back to marketing. That doesn’t preclude it being sincere. Te Amo doesn’t feel exploitative. See: Everything StephG and Rachel said.

          • “Btw, I find it super amusing that various lyric sites for this song are filled with comments about “I dont gett it why is she singin as a guy?!?!?! [sic].” Because guys are totally the only ones who occasionally want to writhe around in castles with women.”

            hahaha, that really made me laugh :’)

        • “this song actually takes place in a universe where women have genuine homosexy feelings, […] like there is an understanding that women really do have feelings for one another, that is a thing that happens”

          exactly my thoughts, why didn’t this happen when I was 12 and watching MTV all day? This is such a great and important and rare thing.

          • I really agree with this. One of the main reasons I love this video is for anyone out there in that situation now – I think its important for them.

            And is Poker Face not about fantasising about a woman?? ;O

  4. Okay, so I’ve never liked Rihanna’s music in the slightest…
    So.. maybe she’s bi? maybe she is actually writing that song from personal experience? maybe it actually means something to her? …Or she could just be employing the classic that everyone KNOWS will get her video all the attention it needs?

    meh, either way, its hot!

    And again Kristen, why oh why do you have to be so fucking cute?! Everytime I see a new video or photo shoot I nearly wet my pants with excitement. She’s got me so obsessed…

  5. saldilaskfj;laksd a;l my crush/fling/etc just updated her FB talking about how she’s having dinner in a Spanish castle wearing a very similar outfit (black suit) to Rihanna’s love interest. MELTY.

    are there any videos that have two guys canoodling? we only seem to see this with girls.

  6. i heard that interview about real girls on npr. i have seen a few of the episodes and i like it, but i was very excited about the interview! made me want to go back and watch the rest.
    also, how cool is it that npr did an interview with a cast of a web series! (i’m a huge npr dork)

  7. I’ve just seen Gaga in concert tonight and she was f*#king amazing!! I can see why she’s suffering from fatigue!! The best concert I have ever been too!!

    Oh and her ass was hot too as were her dancers!!

    Sorry, just had to tell someone that cause all my mates are asleep (and they don’t really like gaga either-huh the fools!) and I’m still buzzing and well, I’ve come to think of Autostraddle as a friend, so thought I’d stop by.

      • Ah YESsss, I was like ‘OMGggg’ It was all just so jaw dropping all throughout, like no show stone left unturned. I took so many photos, but have now learnt the lesson that tryin to a photo whilst dancing=blurry lights and fuzz, but pretty blurs!! Almost artistic, I’d say!!

  8. How often do people actually catch lupus nowadays? i think i ve only ever heard of it on house or in Harry potter…. is it one of those silent killers like the serial killer from saw I?

  9. I approve entirely of the Te Amo video and look forward to it randomly playing on telly when I’m marking essays or hoovering or some such dull activity.

  10. I was convinced that Rihanna sang “listen we can dance, but you gotta wash your hands” signifying she had read the safe sex post on here last week.

    But then I looked up the lyrics and she says “watch” not “wash.” Now I am simultaneously disappointed and concerned for her sexual health.

    WRITHE SAFELY, RIHANNA.

  11. I think Kristen Stewart thinks Kristen Stewart is too cool for life. I feel like shes one of those people that would refer to herself in the 3rd person… just saying.

  12. The Axis of EVIL is exactly To CONFUSE, and MALITIOUSLY Suggest to most SHEEPle.But SPECIALLY CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS. When pple are confused they highly opened to suggestions.THEREFORE, the lyrics say one thing while the VIDEO SUGGESTS the exact OPPOSITE. If you stop the video at the mark of 2:25, That is a SUBLIMINAL representation of HOMOSEXUAL ORAL SEX Does it look like Rihanna is even trying to get away from that situation at all?( At the 3:39 mark, You’ll see Rihanna Behind Letitia Casta, holding her head…what that subliminally means, is that Rihanna is “taking her from behind” or “mounting” her from that position. She’s the one taking the Lead. Like the RUDE BWOY she portrays on the clip. And it doesn’t show any instance, Rihanna even attempting to get away from HER SAME SEX LOVER…IT ONLY SHOWS HOW MUCH SHE ENJOYS and DESIRES THE WHOLE SITUATION.
    This Video has ALL ADULT CONTENT and It is NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN NOR TEENAGERS. IT really doesn’t take a scientist to Realize the message of HOMOSEXUALITY, “BONDAGE” Plus more, those DEMONIC “professionals” want to convey…It is
    so Obviously staring at one’s face and yet…some CHOOSE NOT to SEE it… And why DEFEND and PROTECT EVIL? Instead, Why not DEFEND & PROTECT GOOD? Thank you.

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