Real L Word 302 Recap: A Leap Of Faith Into a Puddle Of Nonsense

Somewhere else in Sultry Los Angeles, Whitney and Sara are participating in Haviland Stillwell‘s favorite hobby – making a vision board.

clearly the kitchen is the best place to kiss, because lighting

Whitney: “The funny thing is that Sara’s like a wild child, but she’s also like obsessed with self-improvement things, if it involves patchouli, Nag Champa, some kind of om sound, she’s down with it.”

That? Right there. Was the actual Academy-Award winning moment. That’s when you see that Whitney loves her. There’s a distinct affection in her voice, the kind your girlfriend gets when she talks about the not-cute things you do as being super-cute, ’cause she loves you.

and i love her

I mean, not to sound like my writing teacher, but DETAILS, Ilene, DETAILS. Details make people exist. Like Sarahara being into new age shit! Not these pointless plots, endless abstractions and ambiguous feelings without anything to really hold on to underneath the veneer.

the power of the clam can’t be the only thing on your vision board, whitney

We’re well into Episode Two and I’ve yet to hear what Amanda does for a living or even as a hobby. I’m still not sure what Cori or Kacy do when they’re not talking about babies. I don’t know anybody’s favorite color. Like the Patron Saintress Marissa once said in reference to Sajdah being so serious so soon with Chanel, but actually describing everybody on this entire show:

Marissa: “Support me? Protect me? I don’t even know your favorite color! I don’t even know if you like night or day!”

Just saying. Show, don’t tell, Ilene.

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Back in Charlotte somewhere else along the space/time continuum, Kiyomi and Laura are sitting on some barrels in an alley, lamenting their lackluster performance which they blame mostly on Somer, which’s wacky ’cause you know, it wasn’t Somer who made you too late for her to find out her shit got broken before the show, BRO.

and then i was like, yeah this haircut represents an alternative lifestyle. what’s it to you?

Kiyomi: “I do wanna get her stuff fixed, but I also feel like, in the middle of a set, if shit is not working, you shouldn’t be running, it’s just like — it’s a distraction — I’m disappointed in me and us. I’m disappointed in us.”
Laura: “We really sucked.”
Kiyomi: “Everything was terrible… it was the worst show that I’ve ever played in my life.”

and this is the worst show i’ve ever been on in my life, i think

Somer’s keyboard was in tip-top shape back in the city and yesterday, but now it’s completely fucking broken. Laura says Hunter Valentine can’t afford to replace it, so everybody’s just gonna make mean faces at each other until their heads explode and puppies take over the universe!

it looks like it’s back to the plasma center for me

Laura: “As much as you don’t have money, we really don’t have any. We’re tapped out.”

Somer interviews that they’re supposed to be a family here, and she thought that’d be more of a like, band or team type-family and less of like, the kind of family where everyone is related and mean to each other and doesn’t want to give anyone else their money.

mr. burns is vexed by somer’s keyboard problems

Somer: “I can’t not only not be working, and not be with my wife, and have all the things that I’ve worked my whole life to buy and pay for and build up to musically, be broken, I can’t sacrifice all this for the band and be on tour and come back with nothing.”

there is no compassion underneath this keyboard

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Back at Lamanda, Britenelle and Amanda head out back to haul in the wet mattress so they can splosh around on it all night. Britenelle says Lauren’s gotta help ’cause she’s wearing a fur vest, or something.

3 out of 3 dogs like this plan

Britenelle experiences a conflict between this task and her gender identity:

Britenelle: “Grab your end, I’m not gonna carry this like a bulldyke. Lauren, get your fucking ass–“

this reminds me of when we were in wisconsin at my roommate’s grandmother’s house to get her mattress and a dead mouse fell out of the mattress and so we left the mattress in wisconsin and she got a new one when we got to new york, and it didn’t have a dead mouse in it.

They accidentally drag the mattress in dogshit and it smells. So, this is a television show. Then Amanda and Britenelle go have sex and Lauren sits down for a chat with the camera people:

hey ladies! want your hair to be pink just like mine? Well, I know the secret!

Lauren: “Tonight it was just like the two of them hanging out all night, it was just like, what are you doing, you’re turning this into a relationship. That’s what it seems like to me.”

Then Amanda and Britenelle have loud sex. Like extra loud sex. So.

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Elsewhere on another level of karma ozone energy healer aura sparklepony wellness is The Healing Energy Party, starring Whitney as a wise wiccan yenta shapeshifter and Sarahahra as a dashing unsuspecting lesbian maiden.

Sara: “I’m really excited about going to this energy healing thing. I feel like we could use this for our own personal growth and it could be really good.”

energy heals better at the hotel wilshire

Whitney interviews that Sarahahara has NO IDEA that Whit’s only moments away from popping the question on National Television, just like in The Bachelor. Whitney is both nervous and confident.

unlike some other words that exist for absolutely no reason at all.

g-chat [during the show]

me: um, whitney is my favorite character on this show now?
she’s like the only person whose head isn’t up her ass
Laneia: 10:39 7/19/12
write that down
me: you have to write it down
are you writing it down
Laneia: done
me: “the words ‘cold feet’ exist for a reason” – whitney
1. to describe temperature
2. to describe the things you walk on
2 reasons
whitney
TWO REASONS

More importantly, Scarlett’s there!

scarlett looking hot like a boss

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Somewhere out there in maybe Long Beach, Romi and Jay are eating and Romi’s discussing how Jay works all the time but she sends him naked pictures and also wants to cuddle and also misses him, and he likes her boobs.

he has a thread loose on his collar, and it’s all i can focus on

Romi: “The thing that really keeps me and Jay together is our sense of humor. You know he makes me laugh harder than anybody but… there’s gotta be more.”

Romi’s lonely and wants to have pretty parties and love and sex and cracker jacks and sunbeams all the time, just fuck fuck fuck and love love love etc etc and Jay can’t! He has to WORK, Romi. Jeez. If you want a partner who doesn’t work, get back together with Kelsey. HEY-O!!

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Back at The Energy Healing Party, Whitney’s poor friends are forced to stand in front of the group and read extended fortune cookies — I mean, “affirmations,” out loud to each other — and Sahara’s eating it up.

I drink of my sisters, and I take into myself… all the power of Manon.

So Whitney opens her envelope and reads something about big changes or rocket science or something, and then it’s Sahara’s turn, but obvs her envelope is a PLANT.

this scarf can actually warm the necks of an entire army

Sara: [reading] “Turn and face the person you hold most dear and open your heart.”

Whitney steps forward — gets down on one knee —

oh god i think i just kneeled into a sea of tea lights

Whitney: “Baby I love you a lot and I’ve known since the first time I saw you. Will you marry me?”

oh my god i can’t believe you stepped in the tea lights and got wax all over your pants!

Sara: Is this real?

if ilene chaiken says it’s real, it’s real

UM DUH WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WE ARE. IT’S THE REAL FUCKING L WORD, WOMAN. IT DOESN’T GET MUCH REALER THAN THIS.

this would’ve been way better if it had happened at LA fashion week

THE END!

I cried! I yawned! I wouldn’t know if it was better than Cats because I’ve not seen Cats. Here’s Cats:

Here’s Whitney and Sara again:

let’s have sex wearing nothing but these hats

Whitney & Sarahara are already married at this point in the real world, so get your bridesmaids dresses ready!

So, thoughts? Better/worse than Cats?

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Riese is the 37-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker, low-key Jewish power lesbian and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2645 articles for us.

107 Comments

  1. Ok so in the real world right now Romi isn’t dating Jay but Kelsey? Kelsey could do so much better. Also why in every episode have Romi and Jay been getting it on I don’t want to see that and I love Cat 🙂

  2. I’m so glad these recaps exist so I feel no necessity to watch this season. How can it seem to be getting worse and worse?

    Also is this going to get HV any fans? I’m super curious. Seeing a band that doesn’t seem to care that much about their performances because they’re boozing holds zero appeal to me.

  3. GUH. I forgot about Britenelle…

    This cements it. I’m just going to wait for Dani Campbell, Dani Shay and/or Alex Parks to knock at the door with a 6 pack of PBR. In my world, all reality-show lesbians show up on the Real L Word with a probability of 1.

      • See… if anything that just reconfirms my opinion. I’m pretty sure a lesbian is 4000x more likely to walk into your life/television sound stage once she’s your ex.

        (And I sadly knew the dani thing too)

        • Is there a website where we can follow all these A-list lesbians love lives? Or is it just a matter of being a super sleuth aka professional web creeper? OR is it because you actually know these people in real life?

          • “A-list” is beyond generous. Please. These people are only celebrities in their own self-centered minds.

    • Holy shit, will you just LOOK at those fucking nails in the photo booth post?! I don’t care if you never type, cook or put your fingers in ANYONE else’s orifices, they are too damn much.

  4. i take back everything i said about romi’s integrity in the previous post, i want to scrape out my eyeballs with non-gendered kitchen utensils and kill myself and be dead forever and not watch episode 3.

  5. More like herding cats, thats what this show feels like. Thank god for recaps like this to put some sort of plot (if thats what they are going for) to this mess.

  6. thank you for this recap. i needed to laugh, and this sent me into a number of hysterical fits. your sardonic tone could not be any more perfect for reviewing this absurd television program. xx

  7. I totally thought when you mentioned BBB that you meant the Better Business Bureau and was baffled that they sold closets, then I highlighted the link and it all made sense

  8. I think Ilene Chaiken has taken a page from the writers of Degrassi. They constantly retcon the show’s timeframe in order to keep characters on for longer. So the actors who started playing characters at age 15 are now all in their 40s.

    That being said, I think Lauren is hot, and Amanda has mesmerizing eyes. Also, hey Scarlett!

  9. My favourite part was when Kiyomi complained about Somer bringing attention to her keyboard issues by running off stage to find a fix. It’s not like she announced the problem ON THE MICROPHONE.

  10. Croce made the recap! You know who else was at that party? Your current calender girl, Brittany.

    Is it mean spirited that every time I see an AS connected person on TRLW I am filled with a small amount glee at the potential that IFC is pissed?

    • I think the best explanation for the recurring intersections is that IFC actually intended TRLW to be a modernized WeHo lesbian interpretation of “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead” following that play’s focus on the various doings of the idiot minor characters while Hamlet/Autostraddle goes on around them. And Gary Oldman could totally be Whitney with the dreadlocks.

      • Yes! I made my girlfriend (who has never seen the show before) watch this episode with me and I kept saying: “Just wait… there’s a really cute couple on here that you’ll like. It get’s better.” Nope. -_-

        P.S. Jill, where’s my Tyra mail? You’re up next.

  11. Not gonna lie- I am a little puzzled by Romi’s recent discovery that she’s bi. I can see if she dated nothing but women up until the point she tripped upon a man and caught feelings for him…but she was married to a man once and hooking up with guys prior to TRLW…

    • right?! i feel like everybody has been glamoured! she basically frames it like she was always gay and guys are a new thing, but has discussed in previous seasons that that is not the case. maybe this show really just assumes everyone who watches it is too stupid to remember

      • This has to be it! Lady lovers seem to fill such a small page in the Romi Flinger scrapbook I’m having a hard time understanding her explanation. It’s like after her marriage she was fed up with men, slept with some (or several) women, and went back to heteronormative business as usual. I wouldn’t normally say this, but I’m having a very hard time calling her a “lesbian!” She’s a mess.

    • Yes,moreover when Whitney in the first episode discovered that she was dating Jay she said something like “I’m not surprised I’ve always known she was not dating ladies exclusively”. I don’t know. I believe that probably since when she was dating girls she dated girls only she believed that she was only into that.

      • I am having a really, really hard time with Romi.
        Ugh.
        BUT, that being said… I understand the labeling thing not being clear. I keep going from using lesbian to bisexual to queer back to lesbian back to bisexual back to… Ugh. Because it is always so. much. drama.
        Whether I am in a straight or a gay or a queer environment, nothing ever describes it accurately. And having to explain what it means all the time is… Exhausting.
        The not being accepted in the lesbian community when you are bisexual is a thing. Bisexual being a sexy trend in the straight world is a thing too. Queer doesn’t mean a thing to a lot of people. And in all of that, I never seem to respect what is expected of my labeling.

        This doesn’t stop the fact that this whole show is handling this wayyyyy badly. And that Romi isn’t the best frontwoman for sexual fluidity AT ALL.

  12. Dammit Riese, I was all set to read your recap, but the Clarissa graphic at the beginning induced nostalgia. If you need me I’ll be watching every episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch on youtube.

  13. First time commenting just to say that I literally lol’ed when I read: THIS WOULD’VE BEEN WAY BETTER IF IT HAD HAPPENED AT LA FASHION WEEK .

    Made me remember the season 1 parody (still can’t believe this ridiculous show got 2 more seasons). Forever dying at “We’ll just tent it… Oh! There’s already a tent!” 

  14. I would have loved to see the reactions of Jay’s friends at the bowling alley while Romi manically prattled on about having babies. It’s evident from these past two episodes that Kelsey did in fact have a full time job-paying attention to Romi.
    I see Sara and Whitney in a whole new light. While the proposal was the most convoluted scheme I’ve ever witnessed, it brought a tear to my eye.
    Oh, Vero. I think the only thing she has said so far is shut the fuck up and that’s why she’s the breakout star in my eyes. Anyone that tells Key oh me to shut the fuck up is solid gold in my book.

  15. “which’s a side effect of living in Los Angeles and being a girl who likes having sex with other girls. If you stay there long enough, your heart will turn into a geode.”

    *explodes in laughter*

    EXCELLENT recap.

    also, hunter valentine is such a mean band jeez.

  16. Why do I watch this shit? Seriously, when it ends I wanna scoop out my eyeballs with a hot spoon. How many times do we need to hear Romi say “fuck”? And then Rose pops up……really Rose? WPP? Stab me. Stab me and mean it. Let’s just have a Whit-me Sarahara spin off. And if those two become sperm obsessed like the tragedy that is Cory and whatever her name is….I’ll stab myself and mean it. Dear Hunter Valentine, ………nevermind. Low hanging fruit. Will I watch Thursday? Yes…..because I’m stupid and I hate myself.

      • Andrew Lloyd Webber and T.S. Eliot have absolutely NOTHING in common. Nothing. That someone decided to make some money off of one of Eliot’s light-hearted (but masterfully written) works does not connect Eliot to Webber. Eliot was dead and had no say, otherwise we’d have been parsing a probably very offensive but spot-on epistolary criticism by Eliot to Webber.

        So rest easy. Eliot’s got his short-comings like anyone, but he was a masterful poet whatever his poliitics. But cotdamn, A.L. Webber, motherfuck taht dumptruck, his shit is radioactive pablum.

  17. I watched both episodes and your recaps are seriously painful. Painful in a “I’m really glad someone is pointing out how awful this all is” sort of way. Watching Whitney and Sara do anything is just brutal. I wish you had pointed out the look on Alyssa’s face when Whitney said she was going to propose. She could barely muster the support. Also didn’t Romi leave a dude at the alter, or she had a husband for a while or something? I totally believe that she is Bi. She can’t seem to wrap her mind around it. Either way, I don’t think anyone wants to WATCH her love life play out. Except me because I hate myself.

  18. Guys, where can you go to watch these episodes online? Don’t haves showtime and needless to say this wouldn’t convince my parents to get it… Can’t find the episodes anywhere!

  19. why is no one talking about how god awful hunter valentine is! the singer’s voice sounds so affected and their music is just terrible. or at least one comment about how ugly that ali girl is! or the eyebrows! dear god, the terrible, terrible eyebrows! i came here hoping for snark and scathing commentary, but everyone is playing so nice. poo!

    • i had same thoughts about the band’s sound, but i feel so bad for them cause i sense a band break up or member change… or whatever. i’m not a fan, but i don’t really hate on the music, beause making music takes effort to make, as is anything made by creative people. even this stupid show. people had to film, edit, and market it … and make people watch it no matter how ridiculous it can get. uuuuuugh this show srsly

      and i think bashing and calling people ugly because of their physical appearance isn’t called for on this website. might want to take that somewhere else. (for the record i just read this and can barely recall who ali is! hahahaha lulz.. talk about making an impression) so…you can make scathing commentary about how cray cray this show is, and you can even be more witty by doing so 😉 i’m gonna shut up now. :X

      (ok. i just remembered who ali is. oy….)

      • Ok this is true that attacking people because they are ugly is mean but I don’ feel bad about it cause this people want to be judged on their look, they are begging us to pay attention to their look and nothing else! That’s why they spend so much time to apply so much layer of make up and wearing stupid hats! So if one of them is ugly, I am sure gonna say it!! 😀

        • even if you don’t feel bad about it, and even if they’re on tv, it’s still kind of insensitive and mean to call someone ugly…well, i’m sure as heck happy they have people on the show with varying stages of attractiveness . you don’t see that a lot on american film/tv and that needs to be changed. when everyone looks so pretty and attractive, it gets boring and you can’t tell people apart. everyone’s individual appearances and personalities adds flavor to the show. this show is so fuckin’ flavorful that it has a ton of monosodium glutamate in it. my god!

          personally, i’m used to seeing people who dress or look out of the norm, so i don’t care much about how the cast of the l word looks… it’s very hip to dress like that in LA. (i went to art school, all of my classmates are nerds or hipster-y)

          why bother judging their fashion sense and “unattractiveness”? it’s not like its going to make the show any better. bleh.

    • I said in the last recap that I saw them on tour last year and was so not into it.

      I may have been slightly tipsy but I had a lot more fun reading the graffiti in the bathroom than listening to them.

      (Sick of Sarah and Vanity Theft were great, though).

    • “don’t talk shit about a woman’s physical appearance” is actually one of our very few editorial rules. for shows like this; clothes/hair/etc is fair game, but i personally don’t feel comfortable participating in a culture that openly criticizes, judges and rates women according to how they faired in the genetic lottery of attractiveness. we’ve never called a woman ugly anywhere on this website, ever, and we never will.

      • This show has made appearance a primary focus. They only cast women who are thin, tattooed, pierced, or whatever else is considered to be “hot” and then they make a point of showing these women slathered in makeup to the point where they look like clowns (e.g. Romi) or conversely wearing nothing at all, as is the case with the gratuitous nudity that abounds.

        I think that when dealing with a show like this talking about appearance is fair game. Riese, your recaps, which by the way I tremendously enjoy, have included screen caps highlighting body parts, so I fail to see the logic in your argument. You may consider it a “genetic lottery,” but if people are free to swoon over someone and declare how attractive they think some of the cast members are (in essence “judging and rating them” albeit favorably), then I should be free to voice my equally valid opinion stating how unattractive I think someone is.

        The whole tone of the recaps and comments on here is to mock and bash the show, so playing the self-righteous “but looks are off limits… unless it’s about facial expressions which I will screen cap and ridicule, clothes which I will mock relentlessly, and makeup which I will also make fun of” card seems hypocritical at best.

          • I would agree with you if we were talking about every show in the world BUT The Real L word and Jersey Shore!
            The content of those 2 shows is all about belonging to that ‘beautiful people’ scene and it’s just fair to point out who’s ugly and who’s not, cause if you don’t, then you are not talking about the real plot which is: ‘Am I hot enough to be a tv star?’. Those shows have no other substance and intentions than showing off what the producers and surveys think are hot/beautiful people.

            By the way, the Real L Word totally looks more and more like Jersey Shore.

    • Actually it kinda bugged me how After Ellen (?) kept making comments about Sara’s eyebrows in the recap. I love thick eyebrows and Mediterranean/ethnic/whatever women shouldn’t be forced to hide em. They’re gorgeous and I’m glad these recaps have not stooped to that level. Sure these ladies are looking for attention, but many women share similar features and you attack all women/many women when you attack someone’s looks, imho.

  20. uuuuuhhhh, after not batting an eye at the first two seasons, i think its about time for me to indulge in this crazy shitshow of a show and just watch it. so many crazy things that is this show just piqed my curiosity.

    also riese (and grace!) , you are absolutely terrific for making these recaps very, very funny and making the show seem a little bit bearable… last reality series i actually watched all the episodes for was that tila tequila show… uuuugh. (“why didn’t dani win!!!?” / “ugh thank god she didn’t win tila is crazy.” but aaaaanyway thats old news)

    um, will i be cringing throughout the whole season? i want to be prepared for that. i want to protect my brain cells from possible death.

  21. as vapid as sararara is, I cried at her reaction to the proposal. i suck.

    although the tiny tears promptly stopped during her interview afterwards– which was something like:

    “it was just so… and i was like… and, like, happy stuff happened to me!”

  22. About the fucked up chronology, here what I think happened:
    They shot it all in November/december with the usual cast but then realized nothing happened at all and it was so dead boring so they decided to get more people involved from january. they even paid Kelsey to date again Romi for sure, since Romi’s storyline is so out, she needed to be re-focused!
    There is no material at all, I mean, Whitney is proposing to Sada like episode 2! an Bam! The show lost the only person ok to get naked and fuck 2 girls everyday front of the camera (well Romi would do it with her bf but that would be gross, read ‘potential loss of audience’).
    And Cori & Kacy were not even there in episode 2 due to the tragedy that must have taken them out of the show for quite a while (even tho, I am sure lil chicken tried very hard to get shots of them at that time).
    So yeah, we need more casts to take out the trash!

  23. whitney’s nervous proposal was super sweet, as was sara’s disbelief that it was really happening.

    thinking the lauren/amanda sitch was highly edited and manipulated. don’t trust that scene at the house.

    romi….ugh. crazy and fake. rose, too. good thing about not watching in real time is ff’ing through that freak show.

    the band, kiyomi honey, you are why the band is not successful. calm down and grow up.

    cameos by scarlett always appreciated.

  24. To be fair, Somer should have let them finish the song before she ran around the venue looking for an adapter. She should of just sat and chilled or went back stage and the audience would have thought “Oh, there is no keyboard in this song, probs.”

    And Kiyomi (is that right?) should have kept her mouth shut on stage, but clearly that’s unlikely.

    I’ve never been a huge fan of HV, and as much as I like watching a touring band on the show, it seems like a bad career move. Who talked them into this?

  25. You feel opposite of that?

    “I mean obviously for me I couldn’t be physical with a guy but I could imagine falling in love with a guy. Love is love, you don’t care”

    Actually, that’s the only words from Rose I agree with. What is love without sexual attraction? Simply deep friendship. And so many “lesbians who like sleeping with men” who were so certain that they would never fall for a guy ended up in relationship with one, that I’m always suspicious of anyone who makes such claim.

    • No doubt different people experience love, friendship, and sexuality differently, so if for you ‘love without sexual attraction [is] simply deep friendship’ then I respect that 100%. However, to state it in a declarative, ‘this is how it is for everybody’ way ignores the experiences of many homoromantic, heteroromanic, biromantic and panromantic asexuals, who frequently experience strong romantic feelings that are quantifiably different than feelings of friendship.

      More generally, as both Rose’s and Riese’s statements indicate, the romantic and sexual orientations of many people do not overlap one another 100%. Some people might be hetersexual but panromantic, some people might be homosexual but heteroromantic, some folks might be asexual but homoromantic, and some folks might be bisexual but aromantic. There are of course also heterosexual heteroromantic people, just as there asexual aromantic people, and so on.

      Also, sometimes this ish is fluid : )

      • No wonder it not always overlaps, since it is known already that different brain circuits are responsible for love and lust.
        But as it looks like, only the latter is shaped by biological (as everything suggests, mostly prenatal hormonal) factors.

        In Lisa Diamond’s longitudinal study on sexual minority women, their sexual feelings stayed in pretty much the same position whole 10 years (particularly for women who were always exclusively attracted sexually to women). But as you may know, majority of initially lesbian identified women changed their label. There was one repeatable reason – they fell in love with a man, even though they were completely sure before that it will never happen, and that’s why they identified as lesbians, even while they were attracted sexually to men to some point.

        There are other studies suggesting that generally most women tend to base their sexual identity in the first place on romantic feelings, while men – sexual, and that may be the reason why women seem to be more “fluid”.

  26. Ughhh, I was quite successfully NOT watching this shitshow, after many unsuccessful attempts to look away….and then SARAH CROCE!

    Thank god for alcohol and fast forward!! Also, these recaps significantly improve my boring work day 🙂

  27. This is what I thought of when I saw the “Is this real” picture:

    hahaha I can’t stop cracking up… at that picture…

    I actually saw HV at a new bar in Austin during SXSW after they had some of their stuff get stolen… It was a mess of a show also. They were begging the crowd for shots of whisky and there were only about 15 people there. Others in attendance included the girls from sick of sarah (I think they were the only ones cheering and buying them shots)… HV also had a camera crew following them around who told me they were “filming a documentary on the band.” Now I’m curious to see if they were actually there for TRLW!

  28. Wow I can’t believe this was only episode 2 and my brain is on overload. Thankfully the recap helped me make sense out of this mess lol.

    Glad the whole Romi and men thing was mentioned, I remember her stories about her husband and her being with guys, but the constant repeating this is so “new” for her, makes me want to throw something at the t.v.

    So far I’m not into Hunter Valentine and their “conflicts”. I have a feeling if Somer would’ve sat at the bar while her keyboard was messing up, Kiyomi would’ve still bitched. At least Somer tried to fix it, but if they got along drama free, they wouldn’t be on the show. Oh how I miss season 1 lol…

  29. idk but now all i can think about is the time the tanners went to disneyland and stephanie got lost and met the beach boys and there was a concert situation. why don’t trlw girls go to disneyland and get lost and then discover their true selves. i would watch that episode

    i ate half a jar of pickled ginger while reading this and now feel like i should go to the store and buy some real food. thanks for writing this riese, you make it so i don’t have to watch it myself

    lemme know if they go to disneyland though

  30. I give two maybe three episodes before Whitney thinks Sara (her name is Sara by the way not some exotic pronunciation) is cheating or Whitney actually cheats on her. The problem with these women is they are either edited badly or they are just truly a bunch of self-involved super douches. It amazes me that any of them wi a few exceptions have any time to do anything else, you would think their day would be too occupied think and talking about themselves.

    • nah, they’re actually married now IRL. i think they really love each other and have the whole time. you can see that whitney is very different now in a relationship. bet they’re gonna get on the baby train next!

      • oh, yeah, ^ but that’s not to say IFC didn’t fabricate some douchey fake drama for them as far as the show. with the chronology being soooo manipulated, who knows?

        and I agree with the wtf factor with romi’s allegedly new found bisexuality when she was married to a man before and was dating this Jay guy just as she first met Whitney in the first episode of S1. so fake!

  31. Can I just say, I think HV would probably get more fans in Charlotte if they didn’t play at the Milestone? It’s in a super gross part of town, in the middle of nowhere, and apparently, people have been murdered there. Does that make me want to come out and see you? Nope. There are so many cooler venues where people actually frequent that they can play at. Also, y’know, if they posted about it on FB like they do their other cities, people would probably know to show up. My friend in China knew about their concert, but I didn’t because it wasn’t posted anywhere!

  32. I am very glad that Whitney and Sara got engaged. They are looking like the couple that they are. I am concerned about Romi. I just don’t think she’s there in her mind. We know that she’s bi polar and everything. I do feel that if someone who has bi polar or a borderline personality disorder that they should not be on any reality tv show. That’s my honest opinion. I don’t care for Hunter Valentine. Their music is not good at all. Peace.

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