Quiz: Which Stardew Valley Character Should You Marry?

It all started with a tweet from Heather Hogan:

I’ve been playing Stardew Valley for years. At the beginning of the pandemic, it offered a much-needed means of escape; since then, I’ve played as gray-haired dyke farmers, as young, ambitious diamond manufacturers, and even once as a version of Spike from Buffy called Baby Spike (think Muppet Babies).

No matter how many times I play, two things have remained constant: My enormous crush on Robin the carpenter, who is not a dateable character, and the fact that once I am ready to date, it’s so hard to choose a spouse! Almost every dateable character is lovely, in their own way. Heather’s tweet brought up some criteria I’d never considered.

In light of that, please enjoy this 100% scientific and completely definitive guide to exactly which Stardew character you should marry! I’d like a plus-one, and my Home Depot and Pierre’s gift cards will be in the mail.


You’ve unexpectedly inherited a cabin and a plot of land from a long-lost grandfather — and just in time, because the cubicle life was NOT agreeing with you. You can’t wait to:(Required)
What best describes your type?(Required)
Choose a perfect date:(Required)
What’s your guilty pleasure TV show?(Required)
It’s important to you that your partner has:(Required)
You’re on a dinner date, and you’d like to share. What do you hope your date might want to try as much as you do?(Required)
Let’s face it: Turn-offs can be just as important as turn-ons. What red flag sends you right out the door?(Required)
Small-town life is going great! Since you got here, your favorite activity has quickly become:(Required)
The cabin your grandfather left you is very cozy, but to make it perfect, you really wish it had the following room:(Required)
The heart (and stomach) want what they want, but you just can’t imagine marrying someone who doesn’t eat or drink:(Required)
Choose a midnight movie:(Required)
When you think of your future, one thing’s for sure:(Required)


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Darcy

Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. She's a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of her Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! She also wants to make you laugh.

Darcy has written 301 articles for us.

66 Comments

  1. Elliot! My lady farmer married Leah, my fella farmer married Elliot. Love those artistic types!

    On my first playthrough I too was very disappointed to realize Robin was not a romance option. :(

  2. Ok. So I got Shane who i never married because I only married girls. But my girlfriend also got Shane( i think she married him once).
    So I mean this says something about us.
    Also neither of us drink😅

    • It gave me a male and I’m not into men. I wish there were a question that said “do you have a preference for men, women, or both or neither?” That would have been nice.

  3. I got Seb, which is who I originally wanted to go for the first time I played, but damn it, if that himbo Alex didn’t win me over by clearing that low bar of just not being a dick in the early game like everyone ilelse in town.

  4. I got Penny. Whom is not Best Girl. That goes to Abigail, whom I’ve married in every single playthrough I’ve done. I even tried to pick options that’d get me Abigail. This test is bunk.

  5. I got Leah…p cool but….I’m not bi :(

    Im starting to think I should stay single in the game because my heart used to be set on Alex….until I realized how sexist and horrible he is…truly a let down…I thought he was so cute too

  6. I can’t take this quiz because I immediately know which spouse each response will move me toward! I have married Maru, Leah, and now I am doing a run and am about to marry Penny.

    My only issue with marriage in SV is once you get married, that’s … it. You can adopt a kid. But they don’t get new dialogue, they barely do anything (at least Maru and Leah kind of have hobbies, though) and there’s no real benefit to doing getting married.

    CA put SO much complexity and detail into the gameplay and relationships, but I wish there were at least a few new dialogue boxes or something!

  7. Penny… who I love, but no. Every single time I play I marry Haley. The very first time I saw her I said, “Wow… what a bitch. I’m going to marry her.” I don’t want to think to hard about what that says about me lol.

    • I got Harvey too. I use Stardew Valley Expanded so i usualy marry Claire. I must agree with this statement though. I also feel as if Harvey is the hardest one for people to get.

      -Cameron Locke-Sinclair

    • I married Harvey in one of my playthroughs as a guy. It was like pulling teeth to date him (his dialogue was still all about boring medical stuff, I almost bailed so many times) but he’s such a good husband; his only vice is buying too many plants for my house.

  8. I got Penny! I’ve kept my distance to her in my playthroughs because the poor mother-daughter dynamics hit way too close to home for me. But she is a sweet character despite her mother scaring me away at first!

  9. Looks like the quiz results only depend on the first question! Keep all your answers the same but change the first one. You’ll get a different character each time that aligns with that question. I’m sad now.

  10. Biggest problem with this quiz is 90% if the answers were the “least shitty” options, rather than actual good answers.

    That said, I got Sebastian. Which I mean… I guess makes sense, as people always say we are the same person. But I’m also a straight dude which is an important question xD

    Also critical role is ass tier and I’m insulted that your quiz thinks I listen to it just because I play D&D.

  11. Crushing on Robin the most is so real. It’s her work ethic that really turns me on; she’s at your place until we’ll past midnight hammering away when you hire her while the rest of the villagers clock out the second they can. I got Elliot in the quiz but I can’t take him seriously in the game.

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