Quiz: What to Call the Person You’re… You Know…

Are you seeing each other? Involved? Hanging out? Definitely and absolutely in love with each other but not ready to give it a name or start saying it because you’ve both (or all) been hurt before and it’s not that you think they would freak out, you think you would freak out, but maybe they would also freak out so you’re just spending time together getting to know each other and having hands-down the most incredible sex of your life and trusting that you’ll get there when you get there?

This quiz can’t tell you what to call your relationship (sorry I called it “your relationship”) — only a transparent and vulnerable conversation together can do that. It also can’t tell you what that relationship should look like. But it can give you some possible language around that, or be a thing you send to that special person or people with a “hey I saw this quiz on Autostraddle, let me know what you think!”

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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.


  1. This is brilliant but also too real which is why it’s brilliant now I’m rambling. Help.

  2. This quiz kinda hurt. My wife is asexual, (go her) I’m allosexual, and very recently my only friend with benefits called things off cuz I admitted I’d caught feelings for her and she didn’t want to lead me on or let me down.

  3. We met on Tinder and we have been hanging out ever since. Two weeks of bliss. We both say how much we like each other. We allow each other to be open and safe with others but we just can’t get enough of each other.

  4. I wish we could see how you define all of the types because I always just think all these terms are ridiculous and say we’re dating/hanging out (dating means we go on dates/hanging out means fucking only) but now I feel like I should be more specific! hahaha

    • I really enjoyed doing this for all of my partners, even though it’s not aimed at people in established relationships! :)

  5. Update: I took this quiz again for a new partner and we are ‘going on dates’ which is… ACCURATE!

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