Doctor Finds Homosexuality Cure, Involves A Better Diet, Less Alcohol, Exercise

THERE ARE NO INCURABLE DISEASES, ONLY INCURABLE JERKFACES

Mirojlub Petrovic, a practitioner of “original medicine,” has announced the opening of a clinic in Belgrade, Serbia, that will solve “the problem of homosexualism.”

In an interview with Radio Free Europe, Petrovic said that he and his team (which he described as “me and my friends”) have noticed that gay people have been an issue ever since a gay rights march was nearly held last year (it was canceled at the last minute due to potential violence from far-right groups), and in particular since a march successfully happened on October 10th, 2010.

His “solution” involves a comprehensive and clearly medically sound system that encourages patients to “think about good things,” cut out junk food, “drink a lot of water,” “reject anything that is diarrhetic, alcohol, caffeine,” stay physically active, and “rest [at] appropriate times.” Regular enemas also play a role in treatment, as does the rejection of the medical establishment; one of the slogans of the movement is that there are “no incurable diseases, only incurable people.” He also stated that “of course” he can cure cancer. It (hopefully) goes without saying that Petrovic is not medically trained, but has a bachelor’s of science certificate from “The International Institute of Original Medicine.”

Author of the anti-democratic book Basics of Theocracy, Petrovic supports the death penalty for gay people. He is quoted as saying, “In democracy we can vote and we can legalize any kind of destructive way of living. So now we have junk food, tobacco and alcohol — poisons — legalized, and we are going to legalize marijuana, homosexualism, and there is no end.”

Hey, you know what makes you think about good things? Looking at pictures of girls. I feel straighter already.

SPIRIT DAY

GLAAD wants everyone to wear purple on October 20th, in response to the recent and highly visible suicides due to bullying.

The event, created by Canadian teenager Brittany McMillan earlier this month, has several event pages on Facebook with millions of people attending. While events like this one aren’t perfect — wearing a color because someone on the internet told you to is easy and actual change is hard — symbolic gestures are better than no gestures at all. I am on the internet, and I think you should wear purple.

And of course anyone in crisis right this minute should contact The Trevor Project‘s 24/7 Lifeline at 1-866-4-U-TREVOR (1-866-488-7386) or The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

IT GETS BETTER

Speaking of responses to bullying, in a video posted on YouTube yesterday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton stated that “tomorrow will be better”:

I have a message for all the young people out there who are being bullied, or who feel alone and find it hard to imagine a better future: First of all, hang in there and ask for help. Your life is so important — to your family, your friends, and to your country. And there is so much waiting for you, both personally and professionally — there are so many opportunities for you to develop your talents and make your contributions […] So take heart, and have hope, and please remember that your life is valuable, and that you are not alone. Many people are standing with you and sending you their thoughts, their prayers and their strength. Count me among them. Take care of yourself.

AND BETTER

The employees at Google also now have a video. It is just as awesome, heartbreaking, and uplifting as all the other videos for “It Gets Better,” but also includes this line: “I went to my senior prom, with a girl, of course, actually with two girls, it’s a messed up story. And I remember after dropping them off, I drove away, to the side of the road in my car, and I just started crying.”


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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1137 articles for us.

45 Comments

  1. That excuse for a man is flipping insane, I hope no one actually pays him any attention, the fact that he even gets any airtime is baffling but then again most countries in Eastern Europe ar violently anti-gay. I like the Guardian a lot but I dont really agree with that man when he says the march was a success, yes it’s progress but I dont really call this a success-> http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/oct/10/serbia-police-rioters-gay-pride

    And maybe im just being cynical but I think the main reason the Serbian police cared and let the parade go ahead was because the Government ordered them to as the government very much want to become part of the EU. They know the EU doesnt tolerate such extreme homophobia so hence they must at least outwardly seem that they’re making progress even if they’re not. Sometimes I wonder will the world ever change for the better. Anyway, I need to listen to this-> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7TrU4_-JTY on a loop to cheer me up after reading that!

    • To an extent, I think holding a relatively successful parade does help Serbia in their bid to join the EU. In terms of optics, it wasn’t pretty but at least they made an effort to keep everyone safe this time around. The real issue holding them back though is the status of Kosovo.

      • Indeed. At least it shows some level of progress, be it sincere or not. I just really believe that the authorities and the government there are still deeply homophobic and this is all bullshit, but at least it’s something.

        As regards Kosovo, im not sure what will happen in the future there, I mean negotiotions as regards it’s actual status as a country started back in 2006 or was it 2007 and not a huge amount has happened yet so who knows. A friend of mine works there at the moment for the UN and it seems that it’s still quite unstable and on a side note, gayness there is totally unacceptable, everyone, even obviously gay people are incredibly homophobic, it’s really sad. Ooh, I just read there that new negotiations between Serbia and Kosovo are beginning again this October so here’s to change!

  2. Hold on “Doctor”..whatever. I’ve been eating healthier for the past 8 months, working out every other day, drinking water like it’s going out of style, AND I’m staying away from alcohol and caffeine. 8 months people!!
    I’m not shitting you right now…if anything, I’m gayer than I have ever been. Also, my butt is firm and I’m so much happier.
    Then again…hold on..nope, still gay!
    I hope no one gives this guy the time of day. Cure homosexuality??! Really? REALLY?? If he can cure cancer, like he says he can…of course he can(!!), then why the shit is he not doing that? How the hell do us homos affect anyone in a negative way? Let me count the ways…oh yeah, it’s a big fat 0!
    Now let’s count the ways that cancer affects our lives. Let’s be real right now..everyone here can say that cancer has affected their lives in some way..and of course it’s not a positive way, because it’s cancer! So if you want people to pay attention to you and give you positive feedback and put you on a throne, why not go after something that everyone will appreciate? I know I’d appreciate anyone who found a cure for cancer.
    Uhm..duh.

  3. When Google secures a monopoly of all information thus transforming society into their slaves and gaining enough profits to buy the world, I for one will welcome our googly overlords. This was the second time today that I felt Love for Google. I love Google. Despite them being obviously evil and bent on destruction of the universe/the written word, I have no intention of ever stopping them. I submit to their every whim and fancy, because I love them. They must be putting something into my food. I wish Google was my mother.

  4. I like the google vid overall, but idk, I wasn’t so thrilled about how it contained a grand total of TWO women. Come on, two? Is that it? And then all these men. It makes me wonder about their male/female employment ratio, which as a technology company I realize is probably skewed towards the male side, but still. Two?

  5. For years my girlfriend hast been telling me that eating cookies for breakfast isn’t good for me. Now I’ll just tell her that it keeps me gay, so she needs to stop complaining. ;)

  6. Serbia is a terribly frightening place where a small minority of people are capable of doing unimaginable things in the 21st century. As a native Bosnian, the prevailing homophobia across Eastern Europe is nothing new to me.

    What is also not new to me is the crimes against humanity that have been committed and reading of the ‘opening of a clinic in Belgrade, Serbia, that will solve “the problem of homosexualism’ only signals images of gas chambers and mass executions in my head.

    I hope that the international community, the european union, the united nations, or the international criminal courts can investigate and shut this place down. Because I highly doubt that any of their ‘patients’ are there voluntarily.

    Lastly, I just want to remind everybody that Serbia is in Europe, a one-hour plane ride away from Italy, occupied by 99.9% white people that are 99.8% Orthodox Christians. This is not Iran, this is not Indonesia, this is not Uganda, and it’s not China.

    And that is fundamentally scary.

    • I agree with your main point but I’d like to mention that Serbia is not a homogeneous country with a strong central government. It’s a country that has and still is being mired by centuries-old ethnic tensions and violence. The fact that it is predominantly Serb and Orthodox (the actual figure for both is around 85%, excluding Kosovo) does not negate the seemingly perpetual instability and atrocities they have collectively endured, most notably since the disintegration of Yugoslavia. I don’t say this to excuse their homophobia but rather to downplay the notion that Serbia is somehow as progressive as its European neighbors simply because of its demographic makeup. I don’t want to say that this shouldn’t be a surprise, but it really shouldn’t be. And to be fair, as you stated, it’s not just Serbia – it’s a lot of other Eastern Europe countries. I could rant about the prevalent homophobia and the oppression of really any minority in those countries but suffice it to say that ethnocentrism and the prejudices it begets, along with the negative messages from the Christian Church, need to be addressed first.

  7. I like most of your comment, but I’m confused as to why you think it’s scarier that white Christian people are homophobic than that people of colour or who practice different religions are homophobic?

  8. So I was in crisis this week, and the doctor in psych emerg was questioning me a lot about everything imaginable. We talked a bit about my orientation. I was left in my little jail-like room for a bit, and then he walks back in and says “I do not believe you are a lesbian. I believe you are just afraid of men.”

    Does that count as a diagnosis of heterosexuality? Am I cured now? What I find funny is that people don’t seem to believe that a lesbian can get raped by a man, have lots of feelings about it, but still be authentically gay, as opposed to gay as an unfortunate by-product of rape.

  9. yeah, the doc lost my respect at that point. I find it kind of disturbing that professionals in the mental health industry are so heteronormative. I’m sure I’m not the first queer to present with mental illness. I just wish they wouldn’t treat my orientation as part of my mental illness. I also have freckles. Are they a symptom of depression and post-traumatic stress too?

    • Yes, and for a nominal fee, we can offer you just the treatment you need!

      Heh.

      Very annoying, I’m sure. Shitty that you’re having to navigate all that while dealing with other problems as well. Hopefully you will be able to get help that is actually helpful.

  10. I definitely believe that there’s a link between poor diet and homosexuality – especially if the diet in any way disrupts sex hormones. Hence, a diet high in sugar, starch, alcohol, trans fat and soy products would increase chances of homosexuality, while a diet high in protein and fats would help restore sex hormone balance in the body.

    Got nothing against gays – love them all to pieces. Just think we should be open-minded about the possible hormonal and biochemical causes of homosexuality, and its effects.

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