Holy crap welcome to the Pretty Little Liars mid-season finale World War A spectacular!
Last week, as you might remember, Buzzcut came forward to clear Ashley; Emily and Paige got back together even though I didn’t know they were broken up; TobAy had feelings about his mother that no one cared about and Red Coat was maybe revealed to be Cece or maybe Cece just loves hanging out in hallways in black hoodies. If any of that was confusing I suggest you read up on this past season’s recaps. Once you’re clear on what exactly happened this season come back and explain it to me.
This week we’re promised a million big reveals and something called World War A. What the fuck is World War A and is it going to be anything like World War Hulk!?
You wouldn’t want to see Mona when she’s angry
Let’s find out together.
We open on Rosewood the night after the Hoedown Throwdown and Buzzcut’s big confession that he saw Ashley Marin drive away before Wilden was shot. Since the Rosewood police are the shittiest police of all time, they haven’t cleared Ashley. Instead they’ve asked her to come down for a line up.
Maybe they just wanted to check out her ridiculously nice legs one last time.
Just thing, Spencer walks in with a package.
And it’s from a random address in California so you just know it’s from Babeland.
The girls open up the package and, tada! There’s something for each of them. Wait, didn’t this already happen with dolls? And also, like, one time with little girls and dolls? This time it’s those super lifelike Real Dolls that are for sex and stuff.
Hungry Hungry Hippos
I wish. Actually it’s magic eight balls. I guess A is forced to branch out a bit from the dolls thing now that Mona’s off the team.
Balls.
Instead of having each magic eight ball instruct each Liar on a delightful task, they just make the message “If she goes free, you’ll hear from me. Kisses, A.” God, how much must it have cost to custom order those things?
And by “it” I mean your harness and dick. Everywhere you go.
Not to be confused with World War Z which was a great book and a mediocre movie.
Starsweep across town to Rosewood PD where Buzzcut is asked to ID Ashley Marin.
Casting Call: Skinny middle aged brunette who looks terrified.
He doesn’t think he can because his eyes don’t work or maybe because A threatened him or maybe because it’s scary and intimidating. IDK I’ve never been asked to ID someone in a lineup.
Are you sure you’re only 16?
At school, the Liars are in the only part of school that they ever attend: the last 30 seconds of English class. Ezra says something about true love and, for the record, it sounds a lot like the shit I say about love when I’m drunk or tired or just generally mopey.
And that’s the story of my first grey pubic hair. It’s been a rough week.
After class, Ezra pulls Aria aside to thank her for coming over and making him feel better. Not like that guys! Jeez! With her words and listening and stuff. She’s like, “Yeah bro, no problem. PS we’re just still friends.”
Hey but we can still think about each other while we jerk off!
Or so Aria claims. Too bad when Jake calls he doesn’t want to go to a poetry reading with her. Instead he wants to do something so totally low brow like dinner and a movie. Aria is such an intellectual snob sometimes.
Boo. You whore.
Back over at the police station, Ashley, Caleb and Hanna have a little meeting. Ashley tells Caleb she feels so much better that Caleb is taking care of Hanna. I think this is the part where the parents realizes how loving and supportive her child’s lesbian relationship is and comes to accept the lesbian lover as part of their family. I’m pretty sure.
And with this coffee, I pass you the metaphorical key to Hanna’s heart.
Just then the district attorney pops out and is like “You’re free to go. Freee I say! Freee!!” Everyone hugs.
Even more feelings than A Camp.
Elsewhere, Paige and Emily walk out of school looking super fly and super gay. Important points of interest include Emily’s hawt leather vest and Paige’s distressed canvas jacket on top of a denim vest on top of a loose white band T-shirt. If this shit were any gayer it would be in the Veer NYC lookbook.
Miss Gay Teen American and Miss Gay Teen USA
Also how cute is Emily’s ombre’d hair? Do you guys think I should ombre my hair? It’s already so damaged but I just think it might look really cool. Sorry, I know this isn’t my personal diary but I feel like we’ve spent so many episodes together that I can really trust you guys. This is a Lizz Safe Space, you know?
Lizz you can’t just make everything about you!
Emily debriefs Paige on A’s threat and Hanna’s mother’s release. Paige is super concerned about A following through and killing them all.
Baby’s first orgasm
As a nifty solution her worries, Paige suggests Emily sleep at her house. Together.
Paige’s House: Where safety and scissoring meet.
Emily likes this idea. Super zoom in on both of their hands so that everyone knows exactly what lesbian sex is.
Yes. We have sex with our hands.
At her home, Spencer begs TobAy to call her (or anyone) back. TobAy is the fucking worst.
Hello, is this the “questioning your sexual orientation hotline?”
Later, the girls all gather to watch Ashley have her first big night out.
Does this zipper dress say “sex in the car?!”
She’s an adult so Hanna gives her permission to go out there and have some sex. But seriously she kind of does. It’s weird.
Emily is so not impressed with Ashley’s commitment to standard norms in women’s fashion.
After she heads out, there’s yet another package. It’s a child’s casket.
In which we mourn the death of my social life.
With a little Mona doll in it.
I don’t want this doll! She has glasses! And a pony tail!
And a text. Of course.
In which A is more straightforward than ever before.
I’m getting tired of these same old tricks. This isn’t exactly the first time A has sent the Liars on a wild goose chase to find someone or do something before A kills them. And it’s always a trap. Always.
In which Emily gets texted a dick pic.
The girls pop on the news and, conveniently, the Rosewood 24 hour news cycle is showing a suspect sketch that looks a whole lot like Cece.
Actually looks a bit like Ashley Marin would in a wig.
To make matters worse, Mona is not longer at Radley, but no one will tell them where she went to.
I don’t care about Mona. All I want to do is grind on my girlfriend!
The Liars decide to split up to find Mona because that never lands one of them in the hospital. 
Spencer goes to talk to Wren, Emily goes to check the school and Aria goes to just hang around and feel Jake’s muscles. Caleb and Hanna stay home to process their feelings and watch this video of Tegan and Sara and Taylor Swift on repeat.
It’s like, do I want to be Tegan or do I want to have sex with Tegan?
I would have started by calling her parents, but no one asked me.
Don’t be ridiculous Caleb! You want to be Taylor Swift and then want have sex with Tegan and Sara at the same time!
Spencer shows up to Wren’s house, but no one answers the door. She peeks inside and all his things are packed.
Spider-Spencer can see through any window!
Spencer goes to leave, but sees Shana’s car outside. Sure enough, we’re treated to a little glimpse of Shana inside. I don’t know what Shana and Wren are doing together, but I hope it’s writing Emily/Hanna slashfic.
Shana is modeling the “Rainbow Vagina” T-shirt
Emily snags Paige, because you never go investigating without your girlfriend, and the two rock up to Rosewood where it’s French Fridays. French Fridays are a lot like Femme Fashion Fridays except instead of hot femmes taking pictures of themselves in cute outfits, it’s a bunch of high school kids pretending to be in Paris.
Meaning with tongue.
After a bit of nudging, the president of the club tells Emily and Paige that Mona was supposed to show up but didn’t.
She’s a gluten free vegan.
A million miles away in the land of shit I don’t care about, some caveman opens up a box of sad stuff from his mom and cries. Then the fucking cro-magnon ignores another call from his loving girlfriend.
I’m trapped in glass cage of emotions!
God I just feel so bad for him, you know?
TobAy walks downstairs out of his apartment into the Life Cafe. Did we know TobAy lived on top of the Life Cafe? Like I think maybe we did but I forgot because I was too busy hating him and wondering about getting my hair ombre’d.
Because the apartment above the hippest coffee shop in town would be totally affordable for a high school student.
Either way, just as TobAy walks down, Shana drops a package slip. It’s addressed from Wren to Wren. Except the “to: Wren” part is care of Melissa Hastings in London.
Who knew this couch had built in dildos?
Upon discovering that little piece of news TobAy finally calls Spencer back. What an ass.
Next Season: Pretty Little Londoners
TobAy shows up at Spencer’s and the two flip on the news. The two watch about two hours of coverage on a congressional hearing on funding for Head Start programs for children before the local news finally covers that, yes, Cece Drake is the latest suspect in Wilden’s murder.
Also wanted for questioning about general creepiness and personality inconsistencies.
Spencer wants to go over all the good details from last night, but she’s still pretty pissed TobAy stopped speaking to her for 24 whole hours. ‘Cause last time he did that he went over to the dark side and turned out to be the bad guy.
Better yet, send 7 words, “I’m switching to a show on fox.”
FYI your relationship is unhealthy and you both need a time out.
Except, of course, that time he was A.
Over at Aria’s, it’s yet another film noir movie. No surprise, Sensei Hot Stuff is fast asleep on the couch because, girl, he already said he didn’t like those movies. Aria is never going to move on from Ezra until she stops pretending that her new boyfriend should be like him.
Hot Date.
Sensei Hot Stuff leaves to get some rest, and no one makes a sexy-time move. This is a terrible Friday night.
worst blow job ever.
Wait. I just realized something. If the Hoedown was yesterday and today is Friday, then that means Rosewood High held a big school dance on a Thursday. No wonder no one wanted to go!
Elsewhere, Caleb and Hanna stake out Mona’s house. Again, they could have just called Mona’s folks. I’m sure Hanna knows them after years of being BFFs with Mona.
We’re gonna sit here and process your Mona baggage until we’ve got this all sorted out.
Over at Paige’s house, Emily and Paige sit around in vests while soft singer-songwriter music plays in the background, so you know that scissoring just took place. Emily worries about Mona. Paige worries about Emily.
If you would just come over here I could show you this really neat “Is it sex” flowchart.
Paige’s parents call to remind her to leave the door open. Priceless.
And we wouldn’t both be wearing these vests.
Don’t get excited, it never really even gets PG.
Unless you brought a hitachi
Paige can’t figure out why Emily is so worried about Mona, what with their chilly past. Emily explains that she feels responsible for letting Ali turn Mona into a crazy face. Paige would like to put her crazy face somewhere else.
with two backs
Across town, Aria shows up at the Life Cafe for the poetry reading she originally wanted to go to. Do I even need to hold you in suspense or make a joke? You already know Ezra’s there. He and Aria talk into the night about writing. So I guess that’s a thing again.
The Orgasm Story
We start a musical interlude and starsweep over to Caleb sits in his stake-out car with Hanna asleep on his shoulder. Seems like he just brought her out there to keep her from actually doing anything to endanger herself while trying to track down Mona.
I know we should go inside but I just want to finish listening to this Radio Lab episode.
Speaking of sleeping Liars, Emily passes out cold at Paige’s while the two watch a black and white film. Doesn’t anyone Rosewood watch a comedy? Should the Liars be watching, like, Mean Girls or something?
If only Paige were pantsless
Spencer though? She’s not asleep. She’s with TobAy eyes wide awake as the two watch TV. I can’t tell from their faces if they’re both happy to be there or both totally miserable. Perhaps they’re just worn out.
over it.
The music continues and the scene bounces back to Aria and Ezra who are still talking. They kiss again and even though I am so over them it’s kinda cute.
Old habits die hard.
Outside, a blond looks through the blinds.
Peeping blondes.
Okay. We get the artistic message. You don’t have to hit us over the head with it. All of the Liars are having their perfect little love moments just before the shit hits the fan.
That being said, I find this sort of annoying. Why are their perfect little moments all about their love lifes? Okay, Hanna I get. Her moment is made more special by her mother having just been released from prison. But it seems to me like Aria’s moment would be a whole lot better if it involved her getting published in the New Yorker. Or Emily getting cleared to swim again. Or Spencer getting into Harvard. It’s not that I find it problematic that the Liars’ lives revolve around boys — clearly that’s not the case in Emily’s instance — it’s that these characters are so far developed past the point where these are realistic happy moments.
Or maybe I’m misreading this completely and this isn’t the peak before the fall, it’s just a calm before the storm. Maybe I need to read up on more clichés.
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Dammit Paige shoes OFF THE BED.
Kids these days.
Thank you! That was all I could think about when I first saw that scene.
paige can put her shoes on (or under) my bed anytime
i’m crossing my fingers that “ezra is The A” is final. on the other hand, it’s pretty little liars and nothing is 100% final. ezrA can just be another monA and tobAy. i don’t know why i’m sucked into this show so much. the cast and crew are strangely brilliant but they don’t make sense. i honestly have to get drunk to watch.
hey liz, of course you can. you’re awesome enough to ombre your hair. btw, the recap this week is fast. shay and lindsey should read your recaps too. i wish you can get them in an interview.
If EzrA is another TobAy I QUIT I s2g.
Autostraddle is not allowed to post these recaps before I plan to go to bed, because I am now also terrified. I’m going to have weird nightmares about that guy and my quiz on amino acids tomorrow.
There better be no take backs like with Toby! I LOVE this development! Ezra just looks like pure evil now. The next question is how much is Aria involved in the A stuff.
Man, Paige was awesome in this ep! No, she doesn’t want your croissant! LOL She was so hot too. And hey, all the crying and worrying about her and fears she was going to die or be dumped turned out to be needless! She’s still home safe and sound. <3 Too bad she won't be in the Halloween ep. I can't wait!
Thank you for the wonderful recaps this summer Lizz! I'll miss them so much. I hope you'll do some other show if you have the time. (^_^)
I like Ezra as A. A guy in his mid-20s who dates/ creepily pines over a 16 year old that he has power over is the kind of person that would actively fuck with the girl. The whole Ezria relationship was something that really bothered me about the show, but making his sketchiness unambiguous goes a long way towards fixing that.
I know! My point exactly. :D
Hmm, when I originally wrote that I intended to mention that I was agreeing with your Ezra feelings, but then I got caught up in my own Ezra hate.
I also loved the “you are so adorable and amazing” look on Paige’s face when Emily busted out her French phone app., but was sooo bad at speaking French.
biggest reveal of the episode – emily and paige share shoes.
I’ve been waiting for this to happen since the beginning of the show! Once it was obvious that it was going to be EzrA I was cheering and clapping and luckily the only person home at the time. I think I was even happier than the time I thought EzrA was being arrested. EzrA has always been the odd one out in so many weird ways. More than anyone else his role on the show could not make any sense if he weren’t connected to Ali, and yet he was the only person in Rosewood at the time who was not shown to be connected to her.
I wasn’t sure if they were going to do it though because EzrA seems to be so popular with a large percentage of the fanbase. I’m still not convinced that they aren’t going to cave to the pressure and reverse it like they did with TobAy.
Oh and about the psychic woman Lizz, there’s definitely supposed to be supernatural shit going on. The whole set up for the Ravenswood show is that Caleb and some others have to break some sort of curse on the town.
So if there’s magic it sure would explain a lot about this crazy show! LOL
No way is Ezra A – I think he followed Aria to Ravenswood because he was concerned that she may still be in trouble with A, and he freaks out when he gets to the lair because he realises it’s true.
That big ‘you made me fall in love with him’ speech about his kid from the last episode is far too mushy to come from A.
I only realised how much I like Mona when the doll arrived and I thought she might actually get killed off this time.
Yes, exactly! You took the words right out of my mouth.
As soon as Ezra and Aria had their cuddle session at the coffee shop, he thought “Gee, maybe we will finally get back together!” He thinks, Why don’t I follow her for old time’s sake, and she leads him to Ravenswood. He doesn’t want her to know he’s there, so he waits until they leave the lair and goes in there himself to see what the crap they’re doing in Ravenswood anyway.
His show of anger is because he’s pissed that A is still alive and well and still fucking with the liars. It’s not a They’ve found me out! rage, it’s a Concerned for Aria rage.
I totally agree!! I think he followed Aria because he thought she was in trouble again.
Also, if he was The Powerful A, he’d be able to get fake paternity tests or find a way to make Alex Mac agree to let him have custody of the kid. I don’t think Ezra is A either.
I totally disagree with you guys! I think they already did that “trying to protect his girlfriend” thing with Toby! There’s no way they’d do that twice!
Besides, isn’t it sort of more exciting when characters change/develop? I don’t want him to just be a one dimensional love monster!
I also think this might be the final A reveal. I mean, in addition to Ezra being inappropriately into underage girls, the fact that nothing particularly terrible has happened to Aria while she’s been under his wing, and that Ezra has access to enormous piles of money through his family…
…and what if Alison really did get pregnant? By Ezra? Who then tried to kill her to get rid of that evidence, only Alison did something to trick him into thinking she was dead so she could get away, maybe even still having the kid. That would also explain, in PLL universe terms, the subplot involving how immediately involved with and possessive of Malcom Ezra became.
Haha, Alex Mac.
Lizz, I can see where you’re coming from, about them already doing that with Toby. And while, yes, they’ve done it before, I don’t think they’re above doing it again.
It would be way more exciting if it actually is Ezra, though.
And Emily, Aria totally almost died during that Halloween ball when she was in the box about to get thrown off the train. I don’t even remember where Ezra was at that point, though…maybe he was off wherever Alex Mac & Malcolm lived?
I don’t know. It’s possible that it’s Ezra and all the sleeping with underage girls does connect and it would make sense. I just feel like this show has gone on forever and they always try to make you think a certain way to distract you from what’s really going on. I guess we’ll see what happens!
Ezra has never really been some sweet, trustworthy guy. He is a creep. It is illegal for high school teachers to sleep with their students for a reason. As the adult in the situation he had a legal/ moral responsibility to keep it in his pants until she graduated from high school and the fact that they met at a bar ONCE before he realized that she was his 16 year old student does not change anything.
It is also not impossible for an emotionally abusive asshole (if he is A he definitely qualifies, I would argue that he does regardless)to get upset when someone lies to him about the paternity of a kid.
That said, the reveal scene is ambiguous enough that it’s possible that PLL will back down from Ezra being A, but I really hope they won’t.
We know that Ezra dresses in a boy scout way (his unending supply of sweaters and dinner party patterned shirts) and in his A Reveal scene he’s wearing a black baseball cap to conceal his face and dark clothes. So if this is NOT an A reveal scene, the show is officially fucking with us as viewers.
Nobody is one thing so definitely he could be upset about paternity (who wouldn’t be? also he was USED for free childcare and emotional work — Alex Mack is a jerk!!) and that’s no reason for Ezra to not be A.
I agree that this explains a lot about Ezra.
I like your take on why it can’t be a fake A reveal. I will now go forth confident in the fact that PLL is finally acknowledging how shady Ezra is.
Since nobody has said it yet, YES, YES, YES to going all ombre on your locks, Lizz. It’ll look totally hot.
i second
“I fucking knew it”… the exact same sentence I sent in a text to my gf when I saw this.
Fucking Ezra.
FUCKING EZRA!
I wish I had filmed my reaction. Mistakes were made.
Maybe that’s the way forward for these recaps. A video commentary of the entire show.
google hangout!
I feel like the reveal of Ezra would have had a bigger impact had they not done the same thing with Toby and then back tracked eight episodes later.
I would love it if Ezra actually is A, but given their track record (Toby, and to an extent, Mona) and all of the Aria/Ezra fanatics I’m not going to give in to this storyline until they show something less ambiguous than Ezra just looking around the room and seemingly getting pissed off. I think it’ll either end up being that he was just following the girls (which, also pretty creepy) as others have mentioned. Or, they’ll turn it into some Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type of situation because you know how PLL loves literary references. If went in that direction they can still appease all of the fangirls by saying that the real Ezra is the one in love with Aria, and his alter ego is the one stalking and torturing all of them due to some form of Multiple Personality Disorder.
As for the whole supernatural development, I have to say that as much as I love Pretty Little Liars, Twin Peaks did it better.
Ok can we talk about this? I need to talk about this: Red Coat used to have dark hair and Aria got mistaken for Vivian Darkbloom when she wore a Red Coat. When and how did Red Coat turn blonde?
When the girls started seeing her she was blonde. I don’t think we’ve ever seen Red Coat with dark hair. Only Ali/Vivian ever had dark hair.
TWINS OF WIGS
TWINS OF MASKS
WIGS AND MASKS
MASKS AND WIGS
My biggest takeaway is they found A’s lair AGAIN and didn’t call the authorities. Like seriously A has hacked the police department and is generally doing creepy shit and they didn’t even discuss it? Why. Just why. Will they ever learn?
I’ve read lots of interviews with producers/writers/cast members/etc and it seems that they are definitely hinting that Ezra’s involvement with ‘A’ is very real but very complicated. They’ve also been putting small clues about him being A since the beginning of the show. The writers have also said that Ezra’s storyline will be a “Jekyll and Hyde” situation. I saw someone theorize that Ezra has a personality disorder and truly does not know that he is A. I hope this isn’t true because it would be a really ableist storyline. Another theory is that Ezra has a sort of “evil twin” (which would kinda work into the Jekyll and Hyde thing too). The only reason I’m humoring this idea is because in an interview with Sasha Pieterse where the interviewer asked her if Ali had a twin, she said this: “If there is such a thing as a twin in Rosewood, it’s probably not for Alison, that’s also something to keep in mind.” This sounds to me like it could be a hint at some sort of twin storyline for someone other than Ali.
I have a shaky theory about Red Coat(s), too. We’ve been thinking Red Coat is the ‘head A’ but that’s only because Mona assumed that. I think Mona assumed wrong. My immediate thought after seeing this episode is that Red Coat is Ali’s attempt to hide herself. Cece and her had a really intense relationship according to Ali’s mom, so it seems like Cece would be willing to do something so dangerous for her. Ali gets all the masks of her face made so she can have multiple people posing as her, making it harder for A to find her. It’s kinda like in Harry Potter where they all take the Polyjuice potion to look like Harry to keep the real Harry safer. So Ali/Redcoat is on the run from A. My theory for the backstory is that Ali dated Ezra, for whatever reason he starts stalking her, still believes that she is alive, and continues to look for her. In an earlier episode we see Cece talking on the phone and she is in that same lair (there’s an image comparision floating around online; Cece was def. in the lair) and the owner of the lair made payments to Cece. This makes me think that maybe this isn’t A’s lair but instead Redcoat’s lair. Ali and Cece are tracking every detail to stay one step ahead of A. The pictures of Ali don’t necessarily make sense but maybe she just wanted them? Of course this theory can be very wrong, but it’s fun to make stuff up. Also, who’s eye was peeking through the hole in the wall? Also, how did the owner of the lair not realize there was a hole in their wall? So I think whoever was peeking owns the lair. The eye is VERY round and doesn’t look like Ali’s unless you compare it to the picture of Ali with her eyes widened, so it could definitely be Ali. I also wonder if it is Mona.
There are a lot of inaccuracies in this (like I think my theory would mean Mona, Shana and Jenna would all have to be working on keeping Ali safe which wouldn’t make sense) but I am obsessed with this show so okay
i like your polyjuice theory. very smart.
cece was double agent for ali and A makes sense.
A) It’s Grunwald not Grundle. (nitpicky)
B) This entire recap was made by the ‘holy crap’ cat gif. I just laughed for like 5 minutes watching it.
C) I’m surprised no one has mentioned the Aria is A theory. I’m like 99% convinced Aria is the ultimate head A. Ezra is the big reveal before we get to her like… maybe mid-season 5 lol.
I think we should all just call her Grindelwald. You know, for Harry Potter reasons.
why do you think Aria is A????? that makes no sense to me.
Lex, omg……. I have spent hours lost in a tumblr hole reading theories on why Aria is A hahaha…. so many reasons!http://idontneednoroad.tumblr.com/ariaisa – some of these are pretty reaching, but others make a lot of sense. Ali as Vivian Darkbloom, trying to find the person cyberstalking her? The red coat, and Aria saying it was her coat? All those creepy ass photos of Aria Jason developed that were Ali’s? My favorite is a gif of Aria VERRRRRRRY subtley nodding at Noel to send a text. The fact she’s always either not involved at all with the A shit, or the one leading the charge/giving hints.
So many mixed emotions! But i did watch the halloween promo on youtube, and Ezra was with the girls and they were all looking at something shocked?! I dont think he is A.
omg I don’t know im just confused now!
“I had a dream of doing this once but every time I tried I curled up in a ball to cry instead.”
All of my feelings about PLL in one sentence.
“YOU KNOW IT WAS A BAD FALL BECAUSE HER LEG IS BENT. BUT HER MAKE UP? FLAWLESS.” Bahahahaa! I love this whole recap SO much!