When in doubt, dance. Dance, I say! Dance! Dance all over the stage, change your clothes, tear up the floor, waltz and tango and skip and mambo your smokin’ hot bod down to the village square, hook up with the Pied Piper of WeHo and dance your way out of regularly scheduled programming into the idea well of death.

Things that suck: when you and your girlfriend accidentally wear the same outfit, when everyone has PMS, trying to break up with a girlfriend who refuses to be broken up with, getting blackmailed, meeting a cute girl when you already have a perfectly nice girlfriend, etc. It’s all right here, girls.

Talk about NOT ending with a bang. Really IFC, it’s one thing to weigh down your show’s sixth season with an endless parade of unnecessary melodramatic plot devices — a murder, a pregnant man, a stolen film, a botched adoption from homophobic out-of-towners, two out-of-the-blue love triangles — and quite another thing to, when the season ends, not even “use” these devices to infuse the series finale with aforementioned melodrama.

This L Word recap was originally published on Riese’s personal L Word recap blog in early 2009, before the Autostraddle YOU know and love got invented! It has been republished here for your viewing delight, but there may be messed up formatting and missing pictures. Remember last week when I said that I wanted 603 to […]

Because every single scene is so jam-packed with these nitpickable problems, technical errors, logistical disasters and blatant inconsistencies — ignoring them is maddening … and writing about them is exhausting. It’s making me crazier than Jenny could ever be … and so I must vent.

Someone just let Angelica honk the horn. already because shit is going DOWN in the season finale. Phyllis, Jodi, and Adele want it their way and Shane’s fucking [it all up] again but at least Helena and her money are here to save The Planet. Because where would be be without The Planet?

Jenny is more Jenny than EVER this season, Shane fucks it up again, Helena’s even pretty in jail, and someone commits arson! arson! Oh yeah, and Alice and Tasha are cutehotadorablesexybeautifuletcetc.

Despite the fact that angus is a lying low-down nanny-fucking motherfucker, GIRLS ACTUALLY HAVE SEX THIS EPISODE. Even Kit and Papi. Ew, we know.

Xena the warrior princess shows up for another round of adoration from her number one fans: the lesbians. Also, shocker: Jenny DIED.

Cut. Print. Adele is getting creep-city but we don’t care. There are court cases to be won and lesbian Turkish oil wrestling to be done.

So guys: Ourchart. have you heard of it? OurChart, I mean. Are you on OurChart? Basically Peggy Peabody and Carlie’s Angels are the only redeeming facets of this godforsaken show.

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and Riese is sending out all her love. Luckily there’s lots to love in this episode with everyone looking very Shane today, the lesbian phone tree, Tasha being generally adorable, and of course: Angela Robinson.

Remember when times were simpler? Harken back–before Dana died, before Betty existed–and maybe you’ll remember the line that started it all, the line that called to us like a siren in the distance: “Bette. Come Here. I’m Ovulating.”

Next time you move to LA to be with your swim coach boyfriend, uncover lifelong lesbian longings via a literary-minded French seductress, get caught by boyfriend, get married to boyfriend in Vegas, road-trip back home on ’shrooms, discover your French lover’s Sugar Mama’s back in town, break up with the boyf and the girlf, move into your ex-husband’s vacated home, get lady-lover Shane to move in and consequently…well, you know what comes next.

Have you heard about OurChart dot com? Helena’s poor, Shane can’t handle life, and Better wants arson arson! Also: OurChart. You should check it out.

What’s happening this week on the l word? Jane Lynch is naked, Max is pregs, Dylan is back, and Shane and Jenny are making out. oy vey.

Why are there twice as many lesbian squabbles as lesbian sexy moments in this show? Oh yeah, it’s because this is the way that we liveeeeeeeee. This is the one where Ilene reminds us all that men are disgusting, loathsome creatures by making henry cut his toenails.

If Paige and Shane have already done the time then they might as well do the crime you know what I mean ladies?

It’s that time ladies. Queue everyone’s head exploding. That’s right: Tina and Bette are back in love/made out. Also Alice is the perfect housewife and Jenny is the perfect roommate.

Better is riding a tractor, Jenny is riding a raft, and Paige is riding Shane in the ’50s. Shining moments include scenes with the Lynch [who can do no wrong] and Dana Fairbanks [may she rest in peace].